"I can still hear Sir, he is saying stuffs I guess, he kept on mumbling to someone", I kept on telling Kiaan and Rahim Sir. My ears were on doors. Continuously banging it too. Asking them to open it.
"He asked.... he asked....", I was silent, what he asked was never expected from him.
Dude the fuck.
"What is he saying, Ishir", Kiaan asked me shaking me, holding my wrists.
"Bad person... he asked if he is a bad person a bad person...", Kiaan was silent as I expected.
I have never seen a senior so good, caring and loving than him.
"Sirr!!!! You are the bessssttt! Fuckk them alllllll! Sir are listening to me. You are the best! You are not bad!", Kiaan kept on yelling on the doors.
He did not answer. I understand Sir more than anyone, I think. He wasn't wrong when he said I am very like him. I am similar to him. The question didn't matter. The answer from a person matters. That person who is your everything, answer from them matters. You don't care what others think of you, but you get anxious when you think what that one particular person thinks of you.
"It's the person Kiaan, not the answer!", Kiaan was looking at me, with open eyes, confused. He is frustrated, anxious. It makes me feel bad for him. I can't see him like this. My heart is wrenching watching two of my close people like this. God is bad sometimes, but he is cruel too, little I know.
"Aarav!", Rahim Sir exclaimed, "we have to call Aarav!".
Who is this Aarav, I was questioning this and same was Kiaan, while Rahim sir was taking his phone out.
"Sir!!!!!", Kiaan exclaimed.
The door opened.
Sir was running, his mobile in his hands. He sure does was talking to someone.
"Sirr!", I exclaimed too following Kiaan. Rahim Sir exclaimed too. But nothing worked.
We followed him. Ran through the stairs and corridors, past to the exit gate.
He stopped.
I can see him.
His phone dropped.
His red eyes were crying all. The sad face lighting up. His smile brimming up, crying eyes stopping slowly. Calm which you get when you find a long-lost precious thing.
There he was, I guess Aarav....
I thought in my mind, it was not a Boy Love. This cannot happen. Sir said his life wasn't a BL, but little he might know, someone was determined to make it so for sure. The look in the other guy's eyes was speaking all out in silence. They were eyes of someone who kept it all in for a long time and it was ready to burst now, while Sir's were that of who are so empty that they can take it all in.
"Why are you still standing there?", the guy asked to sir, glamaring eyes, handsome face with tears and red painfull eyes. These eyes wanted answer.
"Why are still standing there, you kept running, kept calling me, Rith? How long will you keep it with you huh? Am I not the one you can share all too? Every time, you do this? Am I nothing to you? I dunno why you did this? Say it. I say it everytime. I call you everytime, I want to meet you everytime and you just run away? Why me? Why is it always me? Tell me Rith?? Just fucking tell me", the guy said, the anxious anger with pain. The eyes wanted answer for all of that. They wanted answer...
"I...", the guy was going all out again and crying and when sir interrupted.
"Because, I... I....", sir kept stammering while brimming eyes.
"Please say it this time. I am here Rith! Say it to my face. It's not because of crowd that you don't say it. It is always me. It has always been me? Say it please. Do not break me this time. Hasn't it? Say it to me please!", the guy said.
It has always been me; the question was surely not asking if he was the problem of sir. But something else.
"Yes! Yessss it wasss!! It was always youu!!!", sir exclaimed with his brimming eyes. Those eyes were still holding it in. Let them out! The other is going all out, crying, let it out.
"I....", sir went all running to him and hugged him!! Hugged him? He never hugs anyone?
"Because it was always you! I am afraid of losing you too. The possibilty of a NO, scares me, Aarav. It chills me out! You opened gates for me yes, but you didn't tell me how much am I allowed to enter in your life. ", he kept on saying while hugging him.
For us 30 people are standing around them, but for them its just them. Them in their own world.
That hug was answer to all the questions that person asked, as if sir wanted to say, I need you all the time. It has always been you!
"Love Rith! You know what, it was always me who protected others. You came and for the first time in my entire life I felt being protected. I felt I can hide into someone's lap finally! I have always felt something is incomplete inside me without you. When you text, the urge to reply you in sanity and with time is the feeling I get. I read your texts twice, hear your voice notes thrice, and watched your pictures, like uncountable times... I cry like a kid everytime I think of losing you. I cannot think of this fact! These eyes of mine cried last time when my dad died. They are wet again is because of you! When you cry, my eyes are wet. It sounds cringe right, for readers, for us it's, I dunno what to call. It felt cringe to me until this shit hit me itself. Gate? My entire life is yours, just roam anywhere you want, enter as much as you can! When you being with others make me jealous. I want to be the reason of your every smile. I wanted to learn to cook so that I can feed you! I wanted to learn dance because I wanted to dance with you! I did everything so that I can spend time with you. If this is love so yes!!! I love you toooooo! I fucking love you! ", the guy screamed.
"I just want you! No... I need youuuu! I need you Rith, Aarav needs Rith! And I say it again and again, everytime untill you accept me! Even if you say a NO! I will make you fall in love with me. I will take care of you. Do everything possible! Do every fucking thing! I can make chicken rolls for you! I learnt them. I will do everything!", the guy Aarav kept on blabbering stuffs. Sir was silent. He was sure he did not expect that.
"May I get a small place in your life Aarav.... Am I allowed to love you Aarav?", he cried, he finally cried. He let it out. Nothing more was required for Aarav.
Aarav hugged him more tightly than ever, as if hug was the answer, cried more and more. He fell on the ground, then sir too. They were on their knees.
"From now on, you are not going to cry alone. Next time if you want to cry... in my laps only! They are yours; I am yours. You are not at all bad, bad are those who cannot understand you. You got the most beautiful heart of all. It beats for others. You are the guy who burns itself so that others feel warm. If you are bad, the whole world is! My Rith can never be bad guy, you never ask something from me, it was your first time, obviously, you can love as much as you want. I am yours!", Aarav said into sir's eyes.
They kept on touching each other cheeks. Wiping the tears as if they are saying don't shed them, I will not let you shed them ever again. It's the last time you shed them because of me.
Kiaan was stunned too. Everyone around us was. Their love had this power, to hold this crowd, as it it was saying, dare to move without witnessing me. Nobody expected their story to end like this.
I gently hold Kiaan's arm. He looked at me. The look in eyes....his eyes..... as if they were saying....
"I love Ishir! Yes this faggot love Ishir!", Kiaan cried this out to all of the people around us and went on his knees in front of me.
He whispered to me,"If sir can say this aloud, I am his mentee too!".
"I officially announce Ishir my boyfriend! I officially ask you to be my boyfriend!", he forwarded his hand to me.
I wanted to cry too. But can't ruin Kiaan mood. He will panic. In few weeks with him I realised that my one tear will make him takeover whole Karakoram, whole IITD may be. I held my tears but not my feelings!
"It was me who was supposed to ask you officially..... YES ofcourse Kiaan", I went on knees too and forwarded my hand.
People were watching us four. May be judging us. May be cursing us. May be sympathizing with our families, that they will see their homo sons getting in love with a boy. But all I knew was that I loved Kiaan, the guy in front of me with all his teeth out and was looking at me wanting to spend his every moment with me, give me everything he has. And my seniors loved each other! This common room will remember a history created here for coming generations.