Jax's POV
The dull ache in my head woke me up violently, a throbbing pain in my temple. I put a hand to my forehead as all the details from last night engulfed me. I look to my right and there might be an angel lying next to me. A devious angel anyway. So I hadn't dreamt the whole thing, okay well that happened.
The way she felt, her screams, her moans, her lips. I fucked up, I fucked up badly. Now that I knew what she felt like it was like I had woken up this beast inside of me. I studied her curves under the thin sheets that were covering her silhouette. The rise and fall of her chest as well as her hips, the way she slept with her lips parted slightly. The curve of her nose and her sharp cheekbones.
Then I see Ashton and I'm brought back to reality; he's standing by the door. He saw the way I was looking at her just now. I'm just glad to see him with clothes on once again. He stands there awkwardly for a second and then walks back over into the living room. I get up quietly and slowly, so I don't wake up Evelyn. I grab some boxers, some sweatpants, and a T-shirt and put the clothes on swiftly before making my way to the kitchen.
"I made coffee." That is all Ashton says as he sits down on the couch drinking his cup of coffee.
"Thanks," I mutter quietly, I fill up my mug and notice that he's already made Evelyn a cup and is probably just waiting for her to wake up. I walk over to him and sit down, a hard look on his face.
"Are we gonna talk-" I start asking being cut off before I can finish my sentence.
"No. We are never talking about last night, ever. So, for the love of God just pretend it never happened okay? She trusts us more than I thought, she trusts you more than I knew." Ashton says in a vexed tone. I roll my eyes, irritated at his attitude but extremely understanding about it at the same time.
Pretend it never happened?? How the fuck was I supposed to do that?
I see Evelyn start waking up, stretching her arms making the sheets slip a little, exposing her breast but she soon lifts it when she realizes where she is. I could've sworn I saw a smirk on her face, probably as she remembered the details like I did when I first woke up. I see Ashton's foot start tapping endlessly on the hardwood floors. I could almost see his internal debate on whether he should bring her the coffee or wait for her to come outside. I peel my eyes away from the cracked door as she gets up off the bed.
"Good morning, is there any coffee?" Evelyn asks, walking out into the living room where we were seated arms crossed and eyes bright. A hint of a smile on her lips and her sleepy eyes. She looks at me for a moment and I smile involuntarily at her as her eyes smile more than her mouth does. She then looks at Ashton and the smile fades, but the way she gazes at him lets me know that she was reminded of what they had a couple of months back.
"Your cup of coffee is on the kitchen counter; did you sleep okay?" Ashton asks, his gaze alleviating almost immediately as he looks at her. She gives him a quick smile, walking over to retrieve her coffee. I notice she's wearing Ashton's long-sleeve and pajama pants and for a second something that small makes my bones ache with envy.
"I slept like a baby, how did you guys sleep?" Evelyn asks, taking a small sip from the mug in her hands. A playful look in her eyes.
"Amazing." Ashton and I both say simultaneously which makes Evelyn choke a little on her coffee. Ashton shoots me a glare like it's my fault our brains think alike, I ignore him. Evelyn fixes her hair in a ponytail, which brings back memories from last night again and how I had tugged on that ponytail multiple times throughout the night.
I shake my head as if I could reset my thoughts like that. "I need to get home, but um first I'm going to grab my clothes outside." She says slowly.
Ashton and I both stand up at the same time and he shoots me another glare, that's three already.
"I'll take her home." He says quickly. I scoff, of course, he wants to take her home. He was still in love with her, last night didn't help that, but to be fair it didn't help the way I was already feeling either.
- - -
Ashton's POV
Jax thought that I'd let him take Evelyn home after last night, that is comical. I wait for Evelyn to put on her clothes and tell her I'm taking her home. She had given me a nervous smile and had given Jax a heart-warming one, that had hurt.
Last night kept replaying in my head like a broken record, it had been months since I had touched her. Now I was feigning for her time, for her to look at me the way she used to before I shattered the image she had of me. I missed her love; she wasn't a calm lover she was a passionate one. I loved that about her, I was so scared of losing her to the circumstances of life that I created an issue between us and lost her anyway.
On the drive to her house, I could feel her looking at the side of my face. I had so much to say but I couldn't find the words to speak. I was scared, even though I would've never admitted it.
"You, okay?" She asks.
I keep my eyes on the road but can't help but sigh deeply, a sigh full of longing to be with her alone.
"I'm alright. Can we please talk now?" I ask, still not looking at her. I'm scared that if I take one sober glimpse at her I'll crack open right there and start begging for her back.
I make a turn into her street and then into her driveway. The elegance of her house coming into view in all its magnificence, the ocean not far behind. She hasn't answered me yet and I start getting nervous, but I keep my composure. I finally park the car and turn to look at her, I take all of her in. Her hair up, it's gotten so long, her light eyes, the subtle frown on her face. Evelyn meets my gaze and I rub my chin waiting for an answer.
"What is it Ash, what did you want to talk about exactly?" She says, dread surrounding her question.
I tilted my head a bit, I felt so sensitive today what the fuck was wrong with me even her attitude right now hurts me. Her expression grows softer when she looks deeper into my eyes. I close my eyes and rub a hand over my face, wondering how to say what I want to say.
"I-Evelyn I don't want to scare you away, so stop me at any point if I do because I rather be in your life as whatever you want me to be than have you shut me out. Which last time you did, it was well-deserved. But Eve I fucking miss you, I need to know if you lost feelings-I- I need to." I managed to say, my heart was sore, and I deserved it.
She blinks once, twice, and then proceeds to look away from me. When she looks back her eyes are a bit watery.
"Lost feelings for you huh?" She asks, her brows knitted together as though I had made a terrible joke. I'm puzzled for a second and I see her grow weary.
"God, for someone as smart as you Ashton... I was fucking in love with you, it's been three months. When you're actually in love with someone feelings don't just go away in three fucking months." She says in a perturbed manner, pushing the car door open and slamming it loudly. She doesn't walk into her house but starts walking towards the side, past her house towards the beach.
Fuck, I pissed her off. Great.
- - -
Evelyn's POV
Lost feelings for him, what a joke. I make my way towards the beach, sinking my toes in the sand. Incredibly displeased by his question, did he ever even know how much I loved him? How much I still love him? I threw my heels on the sand and started walking barefoot to the shore where small waves were crashing. I stand before the ocean, feeling small. It was comforting, I felt like I could breathe better as if my problems were smaller somehow when I looked beyond the horizon.
I hear someone out of breath behind me, and I close my eyes momentarily. Waiting, trying not to cry, trying to remember how shattered I had been the past three months without him and how hard it was for me to work through what he had put me through. It was a bit cloudy out today, some clouds were lighter than others and there was a slight chill in the air.
"I'm sorry." I hear him say behind me, I turn around to face him meeting his hazel eyes.
"You've already apologized," I say greatly frustrated. He sends me a look of desperation, signaling to me that he's trying.
"Evelyn, I'll apologize a million more times I love you; I've never stopped loving you not for a second, not for a minute. I never expected you to put up with my mistakes, I never even thought I would make a mistake with you. You were everything I needed, you made me better. It wasn't fair what I did, I was cruel and selfish, and I was a coward but baby please please I need to know if there's a chance left for me, for us." He pleaded, a devastating look in his eyes as if he would drop down to his knees right then and there.
I take a few steps towards him until I'm an inch away from his face, looking up at him. His eyes were hopeful and soft, burning with a familiar love.
"I will not share you every time you get scared of your love for me," I whisper.
"You won't have to." He says.
We stay there inches away from each other for a heartbeat. I feel his hand wrap around my waist and pull me in as he caresses my cheek with his spare hand and I let him, having missed the way his strong hands so delicately touched me at times.
I don't know who, kissed who but our lips had connected, a simple and soft kiss before I pulled away and brought a hand up to my mouth. It was too intimate, more intimate than what had happened last night.
"I can't do this," I say, taking a step back.
"Evelyn." Ashton urges.
I shake my head and start walking in the direction of my house. "No. I won't do this with you, I can't Ashton, I can't."
I wipe my eyes roughly, annoyed at the tears. I look back and he's standing in the same spot, watching me walk away and all I'd like to do is run back over to him. Tell him that we can start over, that we didn't have enough time together. I grab my heels where I had thrown them on the sand and reach my dock, I look back again unable to stop and he has his head in his hands, and I can't fathom it. If I don't go inside the house right now I fear all the strength that I had to muster up to walk away will simply disappear and it'll be replaced by this insatiable need to be near him, to let him love me.
As I go through the double doors and into my living room I'm met with Sadie and my brother watching TV together. They both look back at me from the couch and I mutter a hello and run straight upstairs, hoping my brother couldn't see the hindering sadness on my face.
I face-plant my bed and try my hardest to not look out of my window in case Ashton is still standing there. I start crying into my pillow, the tears drenching the softness of the case.
"Eve? What is it?" I hear Sadie come in and rush to my side. This sends me over the edge, and I crumble in her arms.
"Hey, what's wrong babes?? What happened?" She says running her hands through my hair, combing it with her fingers.
"Last night was great, it was crazy but great but it's not why I'm like this. It's Ashton he- he was apologizing for the millionth time. He had asked me if I still loved him, I just- I don't know what to do Sadie. I miss him so much and I do want to be with him I do, I just- I'm scared." I cry, looking at her with red, tear-filled eyes.
Sadie tilts her head a little to the side, sympathizing with me. She twirls a strand of my hair with her finger.
"You know that cliche saying that goes 'the people we love are the ones who hurt us the most' sometimes that's true, sometimes it isn't. I wouldn't judge you for going back, I think people fail to realize how young we all are still. Doesn't mean we have to make crappy decisions and I'm not saying going back to him would be a crappy decision. I just want you to be happy Eve, you deserve it after everything. I think you deserve to gather the time you need to make your decision. If it's meant to be it will be, not even the heavens themselves can stop what's meant to be, and if it isn't then it just won't be. If it's meant to be, even if you guys aren't together for ten years, somewhere along the way you guys will find each other again. If it's not meant to be, even if you guys are together for ten years, it just won't end up that way. You'll know."
I look at her with gratitude and a small smile, collapsing into her arms once again and giving her a soft squeeze.
"I love you, my brother's incredibly lucky to have you and I am too," I say, standing up.
"Who are you telling." She rolls her eyes and I chuckle, grabbing a pair of soft shorts and a tight long sleeve from my drawers. A couple of tears still escaping.
"I'm going to shower, go run along back to your lover," I say, shooing her away playfully. She hugs me and then goes back downstairs. I get a notification from my phone, but I shower before deciding to see who it is.
- - -
*You can't have them both* -unknown
*Who is this?*-Evelyn
*Your worst nightmare*-Unknown