CHAPTER 42 - AM I REALLY THE BEST?
We made love again and it was amazing as always!
We would have done it all night if it weren't for the Don's departure. Theo had to drop off the Don at the airport so we had to stop.
Then, he'd return to the Casa and take me back to our home.
Back to The Villa.
While he was away, I started packing my things. My smile was wide as I gathered my belongings. I was so excited to head back to The Villa with him and start the next chapter of our lives.
Yes, I felt like this would be a fresh start to our marriage, a chance to create new memories and start a new life together.
Finally, my ultimate dream is within reach.
I touched my stomach in wonder--my ultimate dream of having a complete family was about to come true. Having done so many acts today, I bet we have already started to build our own little family.
I giggled as I imagined our future together and the possibility of having a mini him growing inside me. I felt excited, happy, and thankful. After a year of wondering where this marriage would take us, and if Theo would ever see me as more than just his arranged wife, I could finally see the future I had dreamed of.
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. When I opened it, I was expecting to see Theo, but to my surprise it was one of the guards.
He told me that my friend was still in the backyard, drunk, wanting to see me.
Selena.
I felt so horrible when I heard this. I thought Selena had left together with the other guests when the party ended. I had no idea she was still there and in such a state!
I felt guilty for leaving her alone and not looking out for her. I should have taken care of her, but I was busy doing stuff with my husband instead.
I rushed out and followed the guard, eager to see if she was okay.
When we reached the backyard, Selena was sitting on a bench, alone, with a bottle of wine in her hand. She seemed to be in a daze, lost in thought, and didn't seem to notice us.
"Please arrange for a car to take her home. Thank you." I told the guard before running to Selena's side. "S. Are you okay?"
When she looked up, her drunken eyes were glazed and swollen. I got worried, she appeared like she had been crying. I was about to ask her what had happened, but a smile spread across her face and she said, "Hello, luckiest girl in the world," her voice slurring slightly. She tried to stand up, but instead stumbled and fell back onto the bench.
"Careful, S. You don't want to hurt yourself." I said, helping her sit back up. "I have arranged a car for you to--"
"Why do you have to be so lucky?" She interrupted my sentence, her eyes filled with something I hadn't seen before. "Why can't I ever be the one to get the good luck?"
"S, what are you talking about? Of course--"
"I saw him first." She turned to me, her eyes wide and determined. "I saw him first at school. He was there watching our practices. I thought he was there for me. I even saw him at the recital!"
"What? Who?" I asked, confused. She was talking about someone and some things I had never heard of before.
"His aura and presence really captivated me. After our recital, I already decided to come to him and finally ask him out. I was so nervous, but I knew I had to take a chance. But before I even." Selena stopped mid-sentence. She drank more from her wine bottle before continuing, "But before I even had the chance to do it, I heard him looking for you, not me, but you. He was asking for you--Amelia Astoria, the best granddaughter, the best pianist our school has ever seen, and probably the best at everything!"
Selena laughed, but it was a sad one. She looked away and continued, "But I guess that's the way things are, right? You being the best and getting the best things in life, even in the husband department. While I don't even have a chance to get and do what I want!"
My mouth became dry at Selena's confession. I had no idea what to say or how to respond. It was all too much to bear.
Him?
Was she talking about Theo?
Theo watched our practices? If so, then that was before we met, right? Does that mean he knew about me before I knew about him? Had he been watching me all this time?
And...
Selena liked him all along? But I thought she hated him?
"S, you're drunk and distraught and not thinking clearly. I'm sure you didn't mean--"
Selena laughed again, this time menacingly. "You are so naive as always, Lia. You're too kind, such a softie. I basically admitted I liked your husband and was jealous of your life, and that's your answer? I'm just drunk?" She shook her head, and when I was about to reach out to her, she swatted my hand. "That's why you're being taken advantage of. You're too kind. You don't hesitate to give chances, give benefit of the doubt. You always want to see the best in people. You don't want to believe someone could be so mean."
Quite frankly, I wasn't sure what to say or even feel about this.
I looked at her in disbelief, my mouth agape. I had known Selena for years, and I had never seen her act this way. I was shocked by her words and her behavior.
But especially her admission to liking Theo. She had never said anything like this before, and I never expected her to say something like this. This was also the first time she told me she'd seen Theo before we got married.
She had never shown any interest in him before. She even said she hated him for me, wanting me to divorce him, over and over again.
Is that the reason why?
Oh god. Please, no! This realization made my stomach churn.
"I resent you not just for marrying him, but mostly because you left your music career. You left behind a huge shoe that I need to fill in. They expect too much from me. The pressure is hard to bear, Lia. I tried to do my best and live up to your example, but it's hard to fill the shoes of a 'great musician' like you." She air quoted the words with a painful expression on her face.
"God, you didn't even have your debut, how can they compare me to you! They expect me to be exactly like you and don't understand that I have my own style and sound. It's almost impossible to reach that level. You do it so naturally, but what about me? I need to work so hard, and I often feel like I'm not good enough. I'm not sure I can be the person they want me to be."
Selena's face was full of frustration and despair that I hadn't seen before. I thought her career was blossoming and she loved every bits of it. I didn't know she had this kind of struggle. I wanted to reassure her that she was doing her best and that should be enough.
"Your performance at the party captured everyone's attention. They were so impressed, in awe! But when was the last time you performed in front of an audience? I know it was a while ago, and you just practiced for days, but it seems like you've been doing it all the time that it's second nature to you now. As for me, I need to practice almost all day for months just to be close to that level. It's unfair."
I wasn't sure if I should feel flattered or offended by her comment. I knew she meant it as a compliment, but it made me feel like she was underestimating the dedication and hard work I had put into it.
"They always say how it would be better and easier if it was you. But you disappeared because you chose to marry. Don't get me wrong. I love you, Lia. You are a sister to me, but what you did to me is shitty. You should have thought of me before deciding to marry. And of all the people, why him?"
At this point, I couldn't pin point which one she was angrier about: me getting married that leads to pressure in her career or me marrying Theo.
Is that the reason why she keeps encouraging me to divorce him and pursue my music career? Because she couldn't take the pressure anymore?
"I'm sorry, Selena. I didn't mean to put you in a difficult situation and suffer because of my decision to prioritize my marriage. But it's not fair to blame me and my marriage to Theo. I said yes to him because I wanted to fulfill my grandfather's wish, and I thought that was more important than my music career. You know that having a family of my own was my ultimate dream, right? And when the window of opportunity opened, I had to take it. I know that my decision has caused you a lot of pain, and for that, I'm so sorry."
I could only say this part as I wasn't sure how to address the fact that my best friend had liked my husband before I did. I wasn't sure how to react to that. It was too much for me to take in.
I just wanted to think that the pressure they put her under made her feel like this--vulnerable. This was just her way of expressing her feelings and coping with the situation. Maybe this was a long secret she kept for herself, and she just wanted me to know it.
Yeah, that could be it.
I heard Selena clicked her tongue. I looked at her. Her eyes were apologetic as if she knew she was too drunk and might have said too much.
"Lia." She held my hand and sighed. "I should feel sorry for you, too. If only you chose your music career, you would have continued living to be the best and all of us would be happy."
I frowned at her words. When I was about to ask what she meant by them, she stood up--this time she did it without stumbling, and gave me a sad smile. "Did you ever wonder why your husband was late at the party? I saw him getting out of his car, and guess who was inside?"
My heart quickened and my stomach dropped as I realized what she was suggesting.
"Penelope. I guess you're not the best when it comes to your husband, huh."
Selena started to walk away from me. I watched her leave as I processed her words in my head.
It can't be.
I wasn't sure what to make of it, but one thing is for sure, I feel a deep sense of sorrow for how things turned out.
-END OF CHAPTER 42-
A/N: YES! Your questions have been answered. This is why Selena is too bitter when it comes to Theo. But, is her behavior justifiable? I still want to believe she wants Lia to pursue her music career so she would be out of her shadows. What do you think will happen next? Share your thoughts!
Advance chapter on my Patreon account, link in Bio >.< enjooooy!