Thank you Tash for my first ever tip. (Twt: @purplebloom309)Lots of love to you. 🥰
~20240220
Taehyung was curled up, holding onto his knees tightly while staring into emptiness, consumed by his thoughts.
His mental state was tumultuous, besieged by a plethora of pessimistic thoughts. Never before had he experienced such disarray.
Taehyung did not feel a sense of loneliness solely due to his mother's passing, despite this event being the catalyst for such emotions. Various factors associated with this bereavement also played a role in shaping his subsequent actions.
Upon losing his mother, he felt directionless.
Without his father's support and guidance, he struggled to understand and cope with the permanent void left in his heart. Overwhelmed by a sense of resignation, he found solace in isolation, opting to shield himself from the weight of his emotions. It felt natural; like this was how his life was supposed to be.
Being alone is not something that came to stay with the loss. It was a deliberate practice he religiously followed to navigate his situation. Occasionally, he felt the urge to express his emotions, be it sadness or joy, by his mother's grave, but he intentionally buried them inside, gradually numbing his feelings over time.
His emotional detachment extended to a chilling demeanor that repelled even the faintest hint of warmth.
Loneliness and emotional detachment were not something he WANTED, it was something he NEEDED.
If he WANTED them, then it would be just as easy for him to not want them because, at the end of the day, it's his choice. But he built the wall around him because he needed to breathe. He wanted to normalize being alone so much that he wouldn't feel the pain every time he thought about how he lost his parents. And that was only possible if he turned numb.
Taehyung allowed himself to lower his emotional barriers and embrace the feeling of warmth from Jungkook, but he found himself overwhelmed by conflicting emotions in his mind and heart.
He longs to feel the freedom of the walls coming down but the familiarity of suffocation has made fresh air feel poisonous. It's not just a routine for Taehyung to be the way he is, it's a deeply ingrained habit that's hard to break.
Changes in routines can be managed, but altering habits can disrupt your entire schedule and lead to questioning many aspects of life. And that's what exactly happened with him.
Despite coming to terms with his life journey, Taehyung got scared of the little warmth he encountered.
Wasn't he always supposed to be alone, sad, and grieving the loss, considering how it was the base of how he built his life that he stood on right now? Then how can he turn away from the same life just because he felt some comfort?
The first warmth ever to reach him and he jumped to hold onto it tight, not wanting to let go.
Was he that desperate to get out of the walls? The walls that protected him all these years.
Was he that desperate to let go of the pain of his loss? The pain that accompanied him throughout his sufferings.
__
Two days. It's been two days since Jungkook last saw Taehyung.
This is the longest he had been without seeing Taehyung. Since the day they met in Cha's office, they met almost every day. And after their dynamics slightly changed, he saw Taehyung every single day.
It felt strange and suffocating? He couldn't really tell because he never acknowledged them. He wanted to rush out of the confined space just to have a glimpse of the ethereal man. But he promised him.
In fact, it's been two days since he even saw another person. But none of them matter because there are not the ones who are filled in his thoughts.
He didn't even let Bright in. He just sent him a message to cancel his meetings until he says otherwise.
He sat in his office room, looking almost lifeless but the coldness in his eyes says otherwise. His hair was disheveled, fully in contrast to the way Jeon Jungkook usually looks. The very visible dark circles settle under the bloodshot eyes.
Without displaying any emotion in his gaze, he meticulously traced the keen edge of the knife. He firmly held its handle before engraving something onto the wooden table, all while gently touching his cheek. The same cheek that still bore the distinct handprints, where Taehyung's touch lingered.
The rhythm of his hand gliding along his cheek matched the movement of the hand carving on the table.
Upon finishing, he set aside the knife and delicately blew away the remnants of the carvings, a sly grin forming as he glanced at the name now revealed.
'김태형'
(Kim Taehyung)
His face bore a smile, accompanied by an inscrutable glint in his eyes.
"Kim Taehyung" He murmured as he traced the words he had etched. The name persisted in his thoughts, playing like a broken record. There were multiple reasons for this, but the direction of the future hinged on Jungkook's chosen focus.
"Kim Taehyung..." He echoed, devoid of any feeling in his voice. It was mechanical as if he were engraving the name deep into his mind. Despite being engulfed by this name, he was unwilling to risk a momentary lapse of memory.
"Should I pay you a visit Kim Taehyung? Would you permit me to do so? What's on your mind?" He spoke with a smirk. These were the same words he had spoken a few days earlier, yet they now bore a different resonance.
They seemed like two distinct languages stemming from contrasting emotions. But were they truly different emotions, or merely altered by the tone in which they were delivered?
Interlacing his fingers and resting them on the table, he then leaned his chin on them, never once averting his gaze from the name carved into the wood.
With a slight pout, he questioned,"Don't you think it's been long enough?"
"But I promised that I would leave you alone. I trust you..." With his posture correcting, his attention still fixated on the name, he implored. "Don't break my trust, okay? If we think about it, I can leave you alone but it doesn't apply to you, right?"
"You won't leave me alone, right?" Jungkook asked looking at the name as if the name was the person itself and continued. "I know you won't because I'll make sure of that."
Tracing the name one final time, he erupted into uncontrollable laughter. The maniac kind.
"IT'S ENOUGH!!" He bellowed, his voice reverberating as he swept his hair back, the laughter persisting.
After his laughter subsided, he tightened his jaw and simmered with anger, declaring, "Enough!! The world has seen enough of Jungkook's good side. Don't you think it's time I remind everyone who Jeon Jungkook is? I bet everyone missed that side."
He grinned sardonically and added. "My goal has been clear, except I wanted to make it less painful but I am tired of being nice too. It was tough but I still tried, don't blame me later. It doesn't suit me, does it?"
Rising from his seat, Jungkook approached the window, fixating on his reflection. He gently touched his bruised cheek once more and stated. "We will be over when I say it's over and that's not going to happen anytime soon, Taehyung. You are stuck with me until I want you to. I invented this game, I will set the rules, I will run the game and I will win it. LET'S GET TO BUSINESS, SHALL WE?"
He swiftly headed to his room for a shower, after texting Bright for Taehyung's schedule.
He really missed this. Being himself. Planning, plotting, manipulating, and all Jeon Jungkook things. He wondered how people stay boring for so long. His destination is even more crystal now and nothing could deviate him.
Only if he accepted the feelings and emotions as they were, instead of finding an alternative to soothe his ego.
Only if he put his ego aside and simply accepted that he missed Taehyung and that his absence affected him.
___
"Is that all?" Taehyung stated robotically, after signing the papers Jackson handed him.
"Yes, Mr Kim." Jackson confirmed and noticed it was already 9 pm, indicating it was time for Taehyung to leave.
"Yes, Mr. Kim." Jackson replied and glanced at the time, noting that it was already 9 pm, prompting Taehyung to leave for the day.
"I will prepare the car." Jackson informed, ready to leave, but Taehyung halted him.
"No. You can leave. I will stay for some time. We have any pending work?" He asked, wishing for something to occupy his mind with work. Not desiring to return home, where his only purpose would be to sleep, he knew with the turbulence in his thoughts, rest would not come soon.
Jackson understood his intentions and replied, "I will get the files, Mr Kim." before exiting the room momentarily and later reappearing with documents for Taehyung to review. "Here, Mr. Kim."
Taehyung appeared to be deeply absorbed in his own thoughts, seemingly unaware of Jackson's attempts to capture his attention.
"Mr Kim?" Jackson tried again to get his attention but failed, yet again.
"Taehyung." He said a little louder, finally managing to get Taehyung out of his thoughts.
"Oh, you brought them?" Taehyung accepted the files from Jackson and immediately began working.
With a frown, he signaled for Jackson to leave. "You may leave. I will go alone." Without waiting for a response, Taehyung resumed his tasks.
Jackson acknowledged his dismissal with a brief nod before exiting the room. Once the task was completed, Taehyung stretched, feeling the stiffness in his neck, and noted the late hour approaching midnight. He quickly messaged his driver to prepare the car.
As he tidied up his work area before leaving the office, a figure caught his eye - someone was asleep on the sofa in the adjacent waiting area.
Taehyung frowned and approached the sleeping individual, a slight smile appearing on his face upon recognizing him as Jackson.
Gently, he patted Jackson's shoulder to wake him up, causing Jackson to open his eyes abruptly and become alert.
"It's already midnight? I will text the driver." Jackson exclaimed as he reached for his phone to message the driver, but was stopped by Taehyung's hand.
"I already texted him. I told you to leave, right?" Taehyung interjected. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "You don't have to accompany me to the penthouse. You can leave."
"But Mr. Ki--" Jackson tried to protest.
"You look tired. Just go." Taehyung said strictly yet softly, allowing no room for debate. Jackson nodded and together they exited the premises.
Jackson observed as Taehyung entered his car and drove off, following suit in his own vehicle, parting ways.
Taehyung reclined against the headrest, closing his eyes momentarily. He quickly reopened them as unwelcome thoughts inundated his mind.
With a deep inhale, he shifted his focus to the scenery outside the window, occupying his gaze with buildings, trees, and desolate roads. Despite focusing on the scenery, his mind remained vacant, akin to the deliberate emptiness he had constructed.
Lost in this state, he was jolted back to reality as the car halted suddenly, causing his body to lurch forward.
"What happened?" Puzzled, he furrowed his brow and turned his attention to his driver, who was frantically unbuckling his seatbelt amidst a string of curses.
"An accident Mr Kim. That car in front of us ran into a tree."
Taehyung was overcome by a deep sense of unease upon hearing the word 'accident,' a painful reminder of losing his mother under similar circumstances.
As he observed the driver exiting the vehicle swiftly, Taehyung felt a sensation of suffocation within the confined space of the car.
With shaking hands, he managed to unlock the door and stepped out, gasping for fresh air.
Glancing back at the accident-stricken car, he witnessed the driver's efforts to open the door, compelling Taehyung to avert his gaze to maintain composure.
In a bid for assistance, he scanned the surroundings but found no one nearby, prompting him to dial emergency services. However, as he began to respond to the operator's inquiries, his attention was once again drawn back to the car, causing him to drop his phone in shock as the realization dawned on him.
Taking wobbly steps towards the vehicle, he harbored a glimmer of hope that it wasn't the specific car he dreaded, although deep down he acknowledged the undeniable reality. He simply feared facing that truth
As he finally caught sight of the number plate, Taehyung emitted a gasp. "Jungkook..." He uttered in a tone filled with apprehension before quickly making his way towards the car.
A few moments ago:
Jungkook rhythmically tapped on the steering wheel with an air of indifference, his gaze fixed on the CELIO headquarters' entrance. For three hours, he remained in the same spot, patiently waiting for Taehyung to emerge from the building.
His breath caught in his throat as he at last spotted the man he'd been waiting for exiting the building. Taehyung's countenance appeared stony and devoid of emotion, strikingly similar to their first encounter. Yet, this time, there was an additional layer of lifelessness that Jungkook had never seen in Taehyung's previously confident demeanor.
Observing as Taehyung entered the vehicle and when it commenced moving, he began tailing it discretely, maintaining a balance between staying hidden and not losing sight.
Carrying on as anticipated, it led the way to Taehyung's penthouse. Approaching their destination within a mere ten-minute distance, Jungkook noticed the lack of vehicles around.
With a smirk, he accelerated the vehicle, overtaking Taehyung's car skillfully and maintaining a considerable gap between them. Glancing at the rearview mirror and spotting the distant car, he quietly remarked to himself, "IT'S SHOW TIME", with a sly grin before adjusting the gears to increase speed.
Swiftly turning the steering wheel to the right and engaging the handbrake, the tires screeched as the car breached the road barriers, ultimately colliding with a tree with impact, culminating in a dramatic halt.
Present:
"Jungkook..." Taehyung frantically called out while shaking the man's cheeks in his lap, feeling a surge of worry as he ordered the driver to go faster while expressing his distress by moving his legs up and down.
"Jungkook! Wake up!!" He attempted again, applying pressure to the bleeding wound on Jungkook's forehead with a handkerchief.
With a quivering bottom lip, he fought back a sob as he directed the driver to speed up. Taehyung's eyes widened as he heard a faint groan from Jungkook, who was struggling to regain consciousness.
"Oh my god!! Jungkook!!!" He let out a sigh of relief, embracing Jungkook's head closely to his chest. "Thank God..."
Removing himself from the embrace, he gently swept the blood-soaked hair from Jungkook's forehead. "Stay with me, okay? Don't close your eyes."
He looked at the driver and ordered him again to make it quick to reach the hospital. Jungkook shook his head while hissing in pain. "N-no. No h-osip-ital."
"But Jungkook we need to go to the hospital--"
"P-please-e... No-- hops--"
Taehyung's heart sank when he noticed Jungkook losing consciousness.
"No.No. No. No. Don't close your eyes." As tears streamed down his face, he patted Jungkook's cheek firmly.
"Please." He begged. "Don't close your eyes. Stay with me. Please..."
Jungkook, with a tired expression, opened his eyes and gazed at Taehyung. He smiled faintly as he raised his bloodied hand to gently touch Taehyung's cheek, leaving streaks of blood behind.
"Yo-u are w-orried."Jungkook caressed his cheek with his thumb, a smile gracing his face. "Y-ou are worrie-d. Fo-r me. Y-ou lo-ok p-retty l-ike t-his..." Before Taehyung could even process his words, Jungkook went completely still in his grasp.
End of Chapter 23
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