In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most merciful
Therefore, shall Allah forgive you your sins- whatever has preceded of them and whatever of them is to come. And, therefore, shall He perfect His blessing upon you and guide you along a straight way of salvation (Q: 48 V: 2)
"You should have accepted Aiden's offer to egg Valerie's house", Hailey grumbled from where she was sprawled out on the floor, letting Tabitha sniff her hand, "we could have done it together, and it would have been so much fun"
I laughed and pushed aside our forgotten game of Snake and Ladders, Hailey was over at my house for the weekend, and we'd been holed up in my room for the past three hours.
"No thanks, not my definition of fun", I chuckled, folding my legs under me and leaning against the headboard, "besides it sounds like a hassle, and a huge waste of eggs"
Hailey lips turned downwards in a pout and she stuck her tongue out at me, "you're so boring"
"If I'm boring, then why are you here?"
"Don't get cocky. I'm here to see Tabitha, not you"
"Oh really?", I raised a brow, "have fun with her then, don't talk to me since I'm so boring"
"With pleasure", Hailey grinned and scooped Tabitha into her arms, but the smile quickly fell from her face as my cat dug into her shoulders, "yeowch! Her claws are too damn long! She needs a freaking manicure!"
I burst out laughing as Tabitha was placed back on the floor, Hailey turned to me with a vicious glare, "you knew that didn't you?"
"Actually no", I managed to choke out, "but that didn't make it any less funny"
"I hate you"
"Yeah yeah, now come over here and let's watch Summertime rendering"
Hailey stood up and joined me on the bed, "a new anime?", she asked.
"Nope, it came out two years ago I think", I replied and switched on my laptop, "Easton told me about it"
"Easton?", Hailey's brows rose in surprise, "you two are really friends now"
"Yeah we are", I smiled. It had been two weeks since Easton explained himself and apologized to me, and in the process of getting to know each other- I found out that he was also a fan of anime. That fact alone cemented our friendship for good, we were getting along really well that even Hassan was confused.
"Now that I think about it, he's pretty hot. That golden brown skin and curly hair", Hailey wiggled her brows and nudged me, "mind introducing your stunning friend right here? He's single right?"
"Wow, cheating on Brian already?", I joked.
"Eh", she gave a lighthearted shrug, "nothing wrong with having a backup"
Laughter broke out in my throat and I raised a brow, "I thought Mateo was your backup"
Hailey grinned, "then Easton can be my backup backup"
A loud laugh escaped my mouth, and I shook my head at my crazy friend, "you're unbelievable"
"Unbelievable, awesome, super cool, badass", she listed haughtily, "the same thing"
"You forgot to add weird and nutcase"
"Please, I take pride in my nonconformism", Hailey quipped with a flick of her short blonde hair, revealing the brown roots, "my best quality is not fitting in, and that's more than okay"
I grinned at her, loving the confidence radiating from her, "you're right, it is"
A knock sounded on the door right then, and Nana peeked in, "Zahra honey", she said, "sorry to interrupt your slumber party, but do you think you could get some minced meat from the supermarket for me? I would have asked your brother, but he's sleeping"
"Of course he is", I rolled my eyes and threw the blanket off me, shutting my laptop, "it's alright Nana, I'll go"
Hailey got up from the bed too, "I'll come with you", she said, "I've been craving chocolate milk"
Nana shot me a grateful smile, "thank you honey, there's some money on the table downstairs", she said as she left.
I turned to Hailey, "you sure you wanna come?", I asked her, "it's really cold outside, I could get the chocolate milk for you"
"It's fine", she insisted as she pulled her hoodie over her head, "let's go"
"Okay", I smiled and got dressed, then I grabbed my phone and keys from the table before we went downstairs. There were two one hundred dollar bills on the table in the living room, I took them and Hailey and I exited the house.
The night air was chilly, I stuffed my hands the pockets of my sweatpants and shuffled to the car, I unlocked it and got into the driver's seat just as Hailey got into the passenger's seat. She looked at me after she shut the door, "you know, all this time I thought you couldn't drive"
"What? Why did you think that?"
"I've never seen you drive before, your brother's usually the one driving"
"Well yeah", I put on the seat belt and turned on the ignition, "he's the better driver, but I also drive a few times", I told her, "it's just that Zayd is obsessed with cars, he even gave it a ridiculous nickname, and he gets skittish whenever I'm driving"
Hailey chuckled, "what does he call the car?"
"Quicksilver"
"What the heck", she laughed, "that's so cheesy"
"Tell me about it"
"Are you sure though?", she asked me, "I could drive"
"It's fine", I pulled the car out of the driveway and onto the road, then switched on the headlights, "I've driven at night before, with my dad", I added with a smile.
The drive to the supermarket took thirteen minutes, I bought three packs of minced meat and a pack of cookies for myself, Hailey bought two bottles of chocolate milk and a pack of gummy bears. After we were done we left the supermarket and hurried to the car, eager to leave the cold.
I put the stuffs in the back seat and went to open the driver's door, when something caught my eye, a girl was sitting at the bus stop on the opposite side of the road. Her head was hung down and her blonde hair obscured her face, she was swaying slightly and I wondered if she was drunk. The clothes she was wearing wasn't suitable for the cold either, her skirt barely covered her knees and her blouse was short sleeved.
"Hey Hailey", I nudged Hailey who was beside me and pointed, "look at that girl"
Hailey looked across the street at the girl, "damn, she's drunk", she stated, "probably on her way back from a party or a bar"
I looked at the girl again, and I felt a sense of familiarity, like I knew her from somewhere, "do you think she's okay?", I asked Hailey, feeling uneasy, "maybe we should go over"
"And do what? She'll be fine", she shrugged, "drunk people crash on the streets every time, it's no biggie"
"But it's freezing, and-", my words halted when I saw that a middle aged man was now a few feet from the drunk girl, he stood watching her, a weird look on his ragged face. A chill went down my spine when he smirked, his eyes narrowing on her.
"Okay", Hailey said in a low voice, "that doesn't look good, I take my words back, let's go"
I locked the car and the two of us crossed the road quickly, Hailey bounded over to the girl, "there you are!", she said loudly enough for the creepy man to hear, "we've been looking all over for you", she sat down beside the girl and moved close to her, but the girl was so zonked out she didn't even budge.
"Gosh, how much did you drink?", I asked, playing along, "you promised not to get drunk this time"
I looked back to see if the man was still there, but he was gone. I released a sigh of relief and looked at Hailey, "he's gone"
"Thank goodness, what a creep", she frowned, "I hope his balls rot"
We looked at the girl whose head was still hung down, her fingers that were gripping the seat tightly were red from the cold, and her body was trembling even as she was unconscious. Hailey shook her head and tutted, "we just saved her from getting raped or potentially kidnapped, and she doesn't even know a thing"
"What is she even doing here?", I wondered, "and why the heck is she dressed like that? I'm getting cold from just looking at her"
"Hey lady", Hailey went and tapped her shoulder, "wake up"
She didn't move and Hailey tapped her harder, "wake up woman", she huffed, "you could have died just now"
The girl moaned and stirred, then she raised her head to look at us. And my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw her face.
"Holy shit!", Hailey yelled and took a step back, "Valerie?!"
It was Valerie, no wonder I thought she looked familiar. I stared at her in shock as she blinked and stared back at us through half opened eyes, it didn't seem like she recognized us as her face was blank. Her eyes were red like she'd been crying, and her left knee was scraped, what the heck happened to her? She looked like a complete mess.
"Jeez, I can't believe I was worried about fucking Valerie", Hailey said with a scoff and turned, "come on Zee, let's go"
"Wait", I glanced at her, before looking back at Valerie who was leaning her head against the wall, mumbling something to herself, "what if the creepy dude comes back?"
Hailey crossed her arms and shrugged, looking mutinous, "I don't really care anymore"
I raised a brow and gave her a flat look, "really? You really don't care if she gets raped or kidnapped? What if we wake up tomorrow and missing person posters are up everywhere with her face on it?"
She scowled at me in silence for a moment before relenting, "ugh fine! What do you wanna do then?"
I turned back to Valerie and moved closer to her, "hey Valerie", I tapped her shoulder, "open your eyes will you, what are you doing here?"
"Ugh", Valerie groaned and put a hand on her forehead, "my head hurts, I think I'm drunk"
"Yeah no kidding", Hailey spat out, glaring at her.
"Hailey stop, not now", I rolled my eyes at her and looked at Valerie, "why are you out at night all alone?", I asked her, "and drunk too, do you realized what almost happened to you?"
Suddenly she burst into tears, "I'm so sick of this shit", she wailed, "I hate this, I wanna go home"
"So do we", Hailey hissed, "so shut up and get you ass moving before you die of hypothermia, not that I really care"
I sighed wearily but said nothing, cause I understood Hailey's anger. This was a girl who had bullied and tormented her for years, she was also the same girl who pushed me into a pool, but right now I didn't see her as a mean bully, the girl in front of me now was a drunk and vulnerable girl.
Valerie kept sobbing and didn't answer our questions, she hadn't even acknowledged us, like she didn't even realize we were in front of her. I looked at Hailey, "it doesn't seem like we're getting any answers from her"
Hailey sighed heavily and shook her head, "mendokusai", she muttered to herself, "where's her phone at least? Maybe we can call someone to come pick her up", she suggested, "not Rachael or Mira though, maybe her parents or something"
I spotted a small handbag on the floor by Valerie's feet and picked it up, I opened it and found her phone inside, but the screen didn't come on when I pressed it.
I looked at Hailey, knowing she would hate my reply, "her phone's dead"
"Jesus Christ! This girl is begging to be kidnapped!", she threw her hands up in frustration and paced round the bus stop in annoyance, she started to rant angrily in Japanese. I picked up 'I can't believe this' and 'so damn annoying', when she was done she turned to look at me, "Zee, maybe we should just drop her off at the police station"
I frowned, "isn't that a bit much?"
"Who cares! We've done enough, let's go"
I looked back at Valerie, she had fallen asleep again and her face was pinched into a frown. Her tears glistened under the light, and my conscience pricked me, I wondered what led to her sitting all alone here, what about Rachael and Mira? And what she said earlier about her being sick of something confused me, Valerie had always been a bit of a mystery to me even with how much I disliked her, and I wanted answers.
"I've decided", I said finally, "let's bring her with us"
"What?", Hailey gaped at me, "you're kidding right?"
"Nope"
"Why the hell would you want to take her to your house!"
"We can't leave her here", I said, "and I don't think the police station is the right answer"
Hailey looked flabbergasted, "and you think your house is the next best option?"
I shrugged, "maybe it isn't, but that's the only thing I can think of, besides we've been gone for a while now. Nana will be getting worried"
She crossed her arms with a frown, "I still don't like this idea"
"I know Hailey, I get it", I told her, "we'll deal with it tomorrow, let's just go for now"
"Fine", she sighed, "we'll just throw her in the basement or something"
I burst out laughing, "you make it sound like we're actually kidnapping her"
"Dammit Zee, you're too nice for your own good"
"Yeah, I've been told before"
I brought the car to the other side of the road and we pulled Valerie to her feet, before Hailey shoved her into the back seat, she closed the door and entered the passengers seat, "I can't believe this is happening", she said.
"Me neither", I said, "we just kidnapped Valerie"
*****
Zayd was the one to open the door when we got home, he reeled back in shock when he saw Valerie hanging between Hailey and I, "what the... what's going on?", he asked, "is that Valentine?"
"Valentine?", Hailey repeated in confusion, "who's that?"
I scowled at Zayd, "move aside", I grunted, holding onto Valerie's arm tighter, "my shoulders are aching"
"Christ, she's so fucking heavy", Hailey grunted as we dragged her inside, Valerie was knocked out cold. She didn't even budge when we dropped her on the couch, I exhaled loudly and stretched my cramped muscles, it was so hard getting her out from the car and into the house. Mystified, Zayd stared at her lying form on the couch, then he looked at us, "what's happening here? Why is she passed out?", he glanced at her again and his eyes widened, "did you guys... abduct her?"
"Of course not, are you stupid?", I snapped, was that really the first thing that came to his mind? "we found her drunk by the road, and her phone was dead", I explained, "we couldn't just leave her there"
"Correction, Zee couldn't just leave her there", Hailey said, still annoyed, "you guys have a basement right? Let's just dump her in there"
"Basement?", Zayd looked horrified, "you guys didn't really kidnap her did you?"
"Enough with the basement and kidnapping talk", a frustrated sigh left my lips, "Nana's using the guest room, she'll have to stay on the sofa", I turned to go upstairs, "I'll go get some blankets, and explain to Mom and Nana", I looked back at Zayd, "Zayd, get the stuff we bought from the car"
Zayd scratched his head and let out a sigh, "to think you'd help the girl who pushed you into a pool", he said as he went outside, "you're too nice for your own good"
"Oh shut up", I shot back, "who's fault was it in the first place?"
Hailey jogged up to meet me, "has he apologized for that anyway?"
"Yeah kind of, he even cleaned Tab's litter box", I told her, "I guess he felt guilty"
"As he should, why did he call her Valentine though?"
"For some reason he just can't get her name right", I laughed, remembering Hassan did the same thing, "Hassan also called her Victoria one time"
"I still think we should put her in the basement"
"We don't even have a basement!"
"The attic then?"
"Hailey, I think you've watched too many movies"
I explained to Mom and Nana and they agreed to let Valerie spend the night, and Nana even offered to make some 'hangover soup' as she called it, for her when she woke up. Hailey bristled when I referred to Valerie as a 'friend from school', but what else could I have said, our school's bully? The mean girl? I didn't think so.
Valerie slept like a log throughout the night, she was still asleep when I woke up at eight am and went down to check on her, it made me wonder just how much alcohol was in her system. And I shuddered to think of what could have happened to her if we hadn't seen her in that bus stop, I sat on the couch opposite her, sipping on green tea as I looked at her, she was huddled under the blanket, her head and hands were the only things visible. Her hair was in a disarray and her nose was red, she looked totally different from the perfectly glam Valerie in school.
"Man, she looks like shit", I looked back to see Hailey snickering from the stairs, "I should take a picture", she came to sit beside me, "what are you doing?"
"Waiting for her to wake up", I explained, "she'll definitely be freaked out when she wakes up in an unfamiliar place"
Just then she started to stir, and a groan left her mouth. Her eyes fluttered open and Hailey sat up straight and crossed her arms, then put on leg over the other. I looked at her as she raised her chin fiercely, "what are you doing?"
"Getting in an intimidating pose, I'm gonna rattle her so bad", she grinned at me, a wicked gleam in her eyes, "I'll play Bad cop, you be the Good cop"
I sighed, Hailey was having too much fun with this. Valerie blinked multiple times and squinted at the ceiling, her face was blank at first, before the confusion set in as she looked around. Panic finally filled her eyes and she sat up immediately, "where am I?", her eyes wandered wildly before they landed in me and Hailey, she let out a shriek and recoiled back, "what the- Hailey? Zara?"
"It's Zahra", I retorted, mildly annoyed, "there's an h for crying out loud, it's not that hard to pronounce"
"Good morning", Hailey chirped, but her face didn't match her tone, "did you sleep well?"
"Ow, my head", Valerie groaned and clutched her head with one hand, "what... what's going on? Where am I?", she looked at us again, "why are you here?"
"Well", I shrugged, "it's my house"
"Your house?", she frowned, "why am I in your house?"
"Because unlike me, Zee was nice enough to not leave you to get raped or freeze to death in that bus stop, and brought you home with her", Hailey shot back at her, "just how dumb are you to think it's okay to be all by yourself at night while shitfaced, what were you even doing there?"
"I was alone?", Valerie looked confused, "but Mira and Rachael were-", she stopped as if she realized something, then sighed, "of course they ditched me again, I shouldn't even be surprised at this point"
"Rachael and Mira ditched you?", I repeated in surprise.
"Wow", Hailey scoffed, "amazing friends you've got there Valerie"
Valerie glared at her, "mind your own business bitch"
"Huh?", Hailey sprang up from the couch, fury settling into her features, "you've got some nerve talking to me like that, after what we did for you yesterday. Do you know that some creepy old pervert would have taken you away to God knows where if it weren't for me and Zee? You're in her house because your phone was dead and you weren't even conscious, she was worried for your safety, we basically saved your life, so you better get that into your pea sized brain and show some gratitude", she turned and stomped her way upstairs, "I'll be in your room Zee, I can't deal with this shit"
"Uh... okay"
Valerie was silent after that, she hung her head with a dazed look on her face, her hands trembling slightly, "is... is what she said true?", she asked me, "about a creepy person"
"Well... yeah", I brought my legs up and folded them under me, leaning back on the couch, I explained how we saw her in the bus stop, and how the creepy dude was staring at her, "he was definitely up to no good, the fact that he left quickly as soon as we went over to you was proof", I told her, "as Hailey said earlier, you were drunk and your phone was also dead, so I had no choice but to take you with me, it would have been dangerous to leave you alone there"
"Oh", she said in a small voice, her face was filled with fear, shock, and confusion. Her body shook slightly, and she winced and clutched her forehead again.
"Wait here", I got up and went to the medicine cabinet, I grabbed a sachet of Ibuprofen and a bottle of water from the fridge and made my way back to her, "here", I handed them to her, "I don't know anything about hangovers since I don't drink, but I'm guessing it's like a really bad migraine, this should help"
Valerie took them from me wordlessly and swallowed two tablets immediately, she put the bottle down and frowned, "why did you help me?"
"Huh?", I resumed my former position on the couch, "I told you already, it was dangerous to leave you there"
"But you didn't have to", she turned to face me, looking anguished, "it's not like we're friends, my friends and I bully you and your friends all the time. You could have just ignored me and went your way, so why?", a tear slipped down her cheek, "why did you help me? I don't get it"
Her reaction stunned me, I knew she'd be confused, and I thought she might be even angry. But neither of those were reflected on her face, if anything, she looked torn and hurt- like she couldn't even fathom why I helped her. I won't lie, when I thought about all the things she did to me and the others, a small part of me wanted to leave her in that bus stop, but the other part knew that if I left her there, my conscience would not let me rest.
"You're right", I said, "you've done a lot of things to me and my friends, but at that moment you were just a girl who needed help. My dad always told me that people will remember how you treated them, so choose to be kind. Besides..", I shrugged, "we never really know what someone is going through do we?"
Valerie looked surprised for a moment, then something like guilt crossed her face and she shook her head, "that doesn't make any sense", she sniffed and wiped her face.
"Maybe it doesn't", I nodded, "but that's how I felt"
"Oh, your friend's awake", I looked back to see Mom come downstairs, she smiled at us, "good morning"
"Good morning Mom, salam alaikum"
"Walaikum salam", she looked at Valerie and smiled at her softly, "hello, did you sleep well?"
"Huh? Oh.... uh h-hello", Valerie stammered, looking flustered, "I... I did, I think so. Thank you"
Mom chuckled, "you should stay for breakfast", she said, "my mother's chicken soup is known to cure hangovers, I can testify to that"
"What? Oh no, I shouldn't", Valerie declined immediately, "you've already done enough, I should go-"
"Don't bother fighting it", I cut her off, "Nana has already decided that you'll stay for breakfast, and once she decides something no one can change her mind"
"True", Mom laughed, "also I'm glad to meet another of Zahra's friends, I'd like to get to know you"
A conflicted look passed Valerie's face and she dragged her eyes away from Mom, "we're not friends", she said in a mumble, "she just helped me"
Mom's brows rose up and she looked at me, I shrugged and said nothing. She looked back at Valerie and smiled, "well, you seem like a nice girl", she said and placed a hand in her shoulder, "you should stay for breakfast, you'll feel better too", she straightened and turned to leave, "besides, you can use this moment to get to know each other"
We were both quiet after Mom left, Valerie sat up and hugged her knees to her chest, looking forlorn and lost. I wondered what was going to happen now, will things go back to how they were, or will they change?
"Your mom seems cool", Valerie spoke up after a while.
"Yeah, she's amazing"
She glanced at me before lowering her eyes again, "must be nice", she muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing", she said and raised her head again, she stared at me for a moment before her eyes widened, "whoa, I just realized... you're not wearing a scarf"
"Oh", I placed a hand on my messy bun, "well I'm in my house, I don't have to wear it"
"I thought you wore it all the time"
I rolled my eyes, "of course I don't, it's just like any other piece of clothing"
"So you don't always have to cover your head?"
"Of course not, only when I'm in public, or if I'm around guys that are not my family"
"Mira always said you covered your head because you had lice"
That idiot, "well Mira doesn't know anything"
"True, she doesn't", Valerie agreed and rolled her eyes, "that girl has the IQ of a toothbrush"
I burst out laughing, and Valerie chuckled, smiling for the first time since she woke up. If anyone told me before that I could actually laugh with Valerie, I would have told them they were crazy, it felt surreal, "this is weird", I said, "to think we're actually having a normal conversation without any fighting"
The smile fell from Valerie's face, and she breathed in deeply, "this might sound crazy", she said, "but I... I never meant to fight with you"
I frowned in confusion, "what are you talking about?"
"I mean...", she said and trailed off, "ugh, how do I explain this", she groaned and gripped her head, "I've never talked about this before"
"Um... is something wrong?", I asked, feeling completely lost.
Valerie shook her head, but then she stilled and sighed, "you know what, maybe there is", she said, "there's something really wrong with me"
"Oh", was what came out of my mouth, if Hailey was here she would have said something like 'oh, you're just noticing?'
Her smile was resigned as she looked at me, "what?", she asked, "you know very well it's true"
"Huh? Well... I", I stuttered, how was I supposed to answer that? While she was looking like a puppy who had been kicked, "yeah, you are a piece of work", I said finally.
Valerie chuckled and stared out the window, "I live with my brother, it's just the two of us", she said, "my mom left when I was three so I don't really remember her, and my dad is an asshole who rarely comes home, I haven't seen him in six months"
"Oh... wow I'm... I'm sorry", I was completely stunned, she was really telling me about herself. And I never thought that her family situation could be something like that, from the way she carried herself in school, you'd think she lived in a big house with loving parents who spoiled her rotten, that was along the lines of what I thought.
"It's okay", she shrugged, "my brother and I get by just fine, we don't need them. But things were really hard when we were younger, I was in elementary school and my brother was in highschool, he had to get a part time job to provide for us, our dad barely sent any money. There were days where we didn't have enough food, and we couldn't afford a bunch of stuff. When I got to middle school, I started to get self conscious of my appearance, I got my clothes from thrift stores, and my shoes were old and worn out, some of my clothes were hand-me-downs from my brother. When I saw how others were dressed compared to me, I felt embarrassed", she let out a dry chuckle, "I still remember how I pestered my brother to give me more money for clothes, but he was already doing the best he could, I mean he was still a kid himself. But I was too desperate to even see that"
"It got worse when I changed schools", Valerie continued, "no one really bullied me, but some kids would comment on my old shirts and faded jeans, and I just grew more and more conscious. Then I met Rachael and Mira, they were super popular in our grade- they were pretty and had all the latest stuff, so naturally I became envious of them. By that time my brother had graduated from highschool, but he didn't go to college because of me, we had no one else to support us, so he stayed back and took up more jobs. He also started working on his own business with a friend, they have a small delivery company together now and it runs pretty well. He also has a couple of vending machines in different places- apparently they make good money, things are much better for us now. But back then all I wanted was to have 'cool' stuff, so when Rachael invited me to join their group I was ecstatic, we became friends, and the two of them took me on a shopping spree. I got a whole new wardrobe and was over the moon, I thought they Rachael was the nicest person ever"
I snorted at that, "yeah right"
Valerie looked at me and chuckled, "I know, that was probably the first and last nice thing she did for me", she shook her head, "I was young and naive and didn't know any better, my brother wasn't too comfortable when I told him where I got the stuffs from, but he didn't really say much. After that, my school life changed- I was part of Rachael's group, and people started to notice me more, before I knew it my popularity rose. It got to my head, and my behaviour changed", she shrugged, "I thought that if I acted more like Rachael and Mira, I'd become even 'cooler' and more popular, so I imitated their actions- how they dressed, how they did their hair and other stuff. It was then I started to notice how they treated other kids, especially Rachael- she acted like this nice and sweet person to me at first, but in reality she was mean and selfish, and bullied others a lot. It disturbed me but I was too scared to say anything, I thought she'd stop being friends with me if I did. I'm not proud to say this, but eventually I joined the two of them and picked on others as well, after a while I became kind of used to it. And I stopped feeling guilty"
She stopped talking and exhaled slowly, then grabbed the bottle of water and poured a cup for herself. I used the opportunity to mull over everything she had said so far, it was surprising and confusing. The further she explained the more the image of her in my mind kept breaking down, and I didn't know what to believe anymore. Who was Valerie really? Was she really a mean and vain person who bullied and hurt others without a second thought, or was she someone who just fell into the wrong crowd? What would Hailey think if she heard all of this?
Speaking of Hailey, I raised my eyes to look at Valerie, "was it then you started to pick on Hailey?", I asked her, "and Kamilah too, did you bully them just because you were scared of Rachael?"
Valerie winced and lowered her head, guilt and shame were etched into her face, "I... well, not really", she said, "Rachael especially picked on Hailey a lot because of her weight then, I did sometimes too, but I... never felt bad about it", she avoided my eyes as she spoke, "by that point I had become someone totally different, my brother noticed the change in my behaviour and he didn't like it. We got into tons of arguments, and I said a bunch of horrible stuff to him", she clasped her hands together tightly, her knuckles white, "my grades had dropped and he wasn't happy about it, he tried to talk to me but then I...", Valerie stopped talking as her voice choked up, and tears spilled from her eyes onto her lap, "I said something horrible to him"
I was almost afraid to ask, "what... what did you say?"
Valerie wiped her eyes roughly and exhaled in a shudder, "I said he wasn't my dad, and that he should stop acting like a parent"
Damn, that must have stung.
"I still regret it to this day", she hunched forward and buried her face in her palms, "how could I have said something like that, after everything he sacrificed for me? When I saw the look on his face, I regretted it immediately. But I was still too angry and prideful to apologize, I started to avoid him after that, and things became awkward at home. Nothing really changed till I entered highschool"
"What happened then?", I asked her, totally engrossed in her story.
"Well for one, Rachael's attitude towards me changed", Valerie said, "it was subtle but I noticed it, she'd roll her eyes whenever she saw me, and make snide comments about whatever. It started a little after I started dating Brian, apparently she had been trying to get his attention, but I didn't know. She told me it was okay, that she didn't mind, but anyone with eyes could see that she was lying", her face contorted with anger, "Brian and I weren't even serious then, we just went on a few dates and hung out together, and he was fun to be around. I liked him more as a friend than a boyfriend, but when I saw the way Rachael was acting it made me mad. She had everything, money, a nice house, and parents who gave her everything she wanted, and guys practically foamed in the mouth when she walked past. She could have any guy, so why did she want the one who showed an interest in me? That was the first time I felt truly angry at Rachael, and I didn't want her to get her way, I wanted to feel some sense of victory against her, so I kept dating Brian just to piss her off. I figured since he was a nice guy and we got along well it wouldn't be so bad, but it kinda backfired on me"
"How?", I inched forward in my seat, eating popcorn in my head.
Valerie smiled wistfully, "I fell for him", she told me, "and the attention I received got to my head, it made me want to do anything to hold on to it. It was the only thing I had above Rachael, so I got obsessed with keeping Brian to myself, I'd drive away any girl who tried to get closer to him, and I started to get jealous easily. We got into a lot of fights and broke up several times, but I always got back together with him", she sighed wearily, "I could tell he was getting fed up with me and my behaviour, but I didn't mind. Brian was the only one who made me feel comfortable, I felt like I could relax and be myself around him, not posing as some stuck up bitch like Rachael. Speaking of Rachael, I was already fed up with her. I guess she saw how I didn't have to depend on her for anything anymore and got pissed, I could afford my own stuff, was one of the most popular students, and had a hot boyfriend. Also some people thought I was prettier than her, so even if I stopped hanging with her it wouldn't affect me. She got threatened I guess, and attitude became even worse, she'd find every opportunity to remind me how I'd still be a nobody if it weren't for her. Her bullying towards others became worse and she kept pulling me into them, also she and Mira would make me go to parties even when I didn't want to, and then they would ditch me there and leave. I bought their excuses for a while, till I realized Rachael was out to get me"
I remembered the day I saw her arguing with Rachael in the parking lot, so that was what happened. No wonder Rachael didn't look remorseful, it was just as I thought- Rachael was an even nastier person than Valerie, but I didn't even know it was this bad.
"When you found out about all this, why didn't you leave them?", I asked her, "why did you still keep hanging with her?"
Valerie winced and pulled the blanket round herself tighter, "I... I didn't have a choice", she replied in a small voice, "it wasn't like I had any other friends, everyone else hated us which isn't surprising. I didn't want to be alone so I put up with them, even though I hated every second of it", she looked at me, "when you came; I honestly didn't want to have anything to do with you"
"Really?", I raised a brow, "I find that hard to believe"
"I'm serious", Valerie insisted, "I don't mean it in a bad way, I just thought that I shouldn't associate myself with you cause no good will come out of being around me. But then Rachael and Mira saw you, and they made you their next target. In Rachael's words, we needed to make sure you 'knew your place'"
A burst of anger coursed through me, "and where is that?", I asked in a snarky tone.
Valerie shrugged, "who knows?"
"Hey, if you didn't want to get involved with me, why were you so rude when we first spoke then?", I demanded, "if I recall correctly- you told me to 'watch out'", I said making air quotes, "not to mention the number of times you accidentally bumped into me and made fun of my clothes"
She turned red immediately, embarrassment and shame cloaking her face, "I... well..", she stuttered, "I'll admit, I wasn't innocent myself. I... I didn't want Rachael and Mira to get suspicious so I picked on you, I didn't really want to at first. The day we were paired together for the chemistry lab, I was in a really shitty mood that day and had an argument with my brother in the morning, so I really wasn't in the mood to start any trouble with you. But then I saw you with Brian, and I thought you were hitting on him, that's when I started to truly dislike you. I saw you two together numerous times and got so angry, and I took it out on you", Valerie bit her lower lip and shook her head, "I should have just asked him from the beginning like any sensible person would, but I was too blinded by my jealousy and insecurity, maybe I wouldn't have lost Brian if wasn't such a bitch from the beginning", she rose her head and looked at me, fresh tears springing to her eyes, "I'm sorry", she croaked, "for pushing you into the pool"
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head, what was I hearing? "w-what?", I asked dumbly.
"I'm sorry", she said again, breaking into a sob, "I really am, for everything. I'm so sorry Zahra, and thank you for helping me even when I don't deserve it"
Valerie was full on crying now, sobs racked her body and her shoulders heaved up and down, her face buried in her hands. I stared at her in stunned silence, she looked so small and broken crying with the blanket over her legs. A feeling of sympathy rushed through me, followed by anger, and then pity. I let out a quiet and resigned sigh, I couldn't stay angry at her even if I wanted to, especially after hearing her story. In the end, Valerie was just a lonely girl who ended up with the wrong crowd and realized it after it was too late, which affected her attitude.
"I'm such a screw up", Valerie said between sobs, "I don't even recognize myself anymore, I hate what I see when I look in a mirror. My brother is disappointed in me, my so called friends are two faced snakes, and everybody else hates me. What the fuck is wrong with me?"
There are hearts that don't know how to hate, no matter how much they have been wronged. I guess I'm one of those people.
I really am too nice for my own good.
But before I forgave her, she still had more apologies to make.
"Valerie", I rose from my seat and went to sit beside her, "I'm not the only one you owe an apology", I told her, "you still have a lot of apologizing to do, starting with one", I nudged my head towards the stairs.
Valerie laced her fingers together and shook her head "she's not going to forgive me"
"It doesn't matter whether she forgives you or not", I reiterated and crossed my arms, "you still owe her, a whole damn lot. If you really want to make things right, you'll suck it up, go up there and tell her how sorry you are"
She swallowed and lifted her head, then her eyes widened and she stiffened. I followed her gaze to the stairs, Hailey was standing in the middle of the stairwell. She was looking at Valerie with an unreadable expression, and her knuckles were white from gripping the railing tight.
Valerie stood up, "Hailey-"
"Don't", Hailey cut her off, "don't say anything, I don't want to hear it"
How long had she been there? Did she hear everything Valerie said?
"Hailey", I started, "she-"
"No Zahra, don't. I don't want to hear anything"
Yikes, she said my full name. She must be really pissed.
Hailey pinned Valerie with a hard glare, "I don't want your apology", she clipped, "it's not like it's going to change anything. I still hate you, and I'm not going to forgive you"
Valerie bowed her head, "it's fine if you hate me, I fully understand", she said, "you also don't have to forgive me, but I have-"
"I said I don't need your useless apology", Hailey marched down the remainder of the stairs, anger in her every step, she came to a stop in front of Valerie and glowered at her, "did you not hear me? I'm not as nice as Zee, so if you're done here you can get the hell out. I have nothing else to say to you"
Hailey's eyes were filled with resentment, anger and hate, Valerie's with guilt, hurt and nervousness. The both of them were silent for a moment and just stared at each other, then Valerie looked down and took a deep breath, before raising her head again. Her eyes glistened with tears as she looked at Hailey, "I'm sorry", she breathed, "I'm really sorry Hailey, for everything"
"Urusai!", Hailey screamed at her, "shut up! Just fucking shut up! I said I didn't wanna hear it! Why now? Why are you apologizing now? You should have just stayed a bitch till the end!", tears spilled down her cheeks as she glared at Valerie furiously, "you should have stayed a mean bully, that way I'd still have a reason to hate you! Do you seriously expect me to accept your apology just like that? After everything you did to me... and Kamilah? You made our lives hell! Going to school was a fucking nightmare because of you and your friends, don't expect me to just forget all that like it was nothing!"
I hoped my mom and grandmother weren't hearing this, how would I explain it?
A movement from the top of the stairs caught my attention, Zayd was standing there looking at us. His confused eyes met mine and he mouthed 'what's going on?'
'Not your business', I mouthed back, 'go away'
He glanced at Hailey and Valerie who were regarding each other silently, curiosity dancing in his eyes, before going back to his room. I knew he was dying to know what was happening, but I didn't have the time to spare him a thought right now. My attention was focused on my furious and crying friend.
"Hailey", I rushed over and wrapped my arms round her shaking form, "breathe... please, it's okay. You're okay, and you're strong", I assured her and hugged her tightly, "you can get over this. You don't have to forgive her immediately, but at least hear her out- for your sake at least", I pulled back and held her shoulders, "you can decide what to do after that, whatever you decide, I'll support you", I smiled at her reassuringly, "I'll let you two talk", I glanced at Valerie who was crying silently, she had probably cried a gallon of tears in the past hour already, "I'll be upstairs", I told them and went upstairs to my room, hoping I made the right decision.
Please don't let there be any bloodshed.
Tabitha bounded over to me as I entered my room, I scooped her up and stroked her head. She purred in satisfaction and let out a short mew, bumping her head against my chin, I held her in one hand and walked further in. I unplugged Valerie's phone from where I charged it for her last night and switched it on, messages and missed calls flooded in the second it came to life, and they were all from the same person- someone called Victor.
Twenty four missed calls, and fifteen unread messages. Damn, this person must be very worried, it was probably her brother. Some of the messages were popped up on the screen and I was able to read them.
Victor: Valerie where are you? It's getting late, why aren't you home yet?
Victor: why aren't you answering your phone? You better not be ignoring me or I swear, I'll make you eat anchovies for dinner for a week
Victor: Valerie Elise Antonio, for the sake of my mental health, please pick up the damn phone.
Oh man.
My heart went out to her poor brother who was definitely losing his mind right now, I better go give her the phone now, depending on her explanation- she might avoid having anchovies for dinner. Yuck.
Valerie was alone in the living room when I got downstairs, she sat on the couch staring at the floor in a daze.
"Hey"
She looked up as I got down, "oh... hey"
I looked around, "where's Hailey?"
"In the kitchen"
"How did the chat go?"
Valerie shrugged and tugged down on her skirt, "it went", she sighed, "she didn't say she forgave me, but she didn't say she didn't either. After I was done talking, she stared at me for a while without saying anything, then she mumbled something to herself and went to the kitchen. It sounded like 'you're so annoying'"
I couldn't help but chuckle, "that's so like her"
"I honestly don't expect her to forgive me", Valerie said with a wince, "the things I did were horrible, I can't even forgive myself"
"Enough with the pity party", I rolled my eyes, "I haven't known Hailey for that long, but I know that she's one of the kindest people I've ever met. If she wasn't going to forgive you, she wouldn't have stayed and heard you out, also I'm sure she was worried about you yesterday, or she wouldn't have agreed to me bringing you here. Give her time"
Valerie stared at me with raised brows, before nodding, "I'll apologize to Kamilah too", she promised, "and Ben and Adam and... and Brian too", fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, "I'll change, I'll do my best to be better. I swear, and I'll stop hanging out with those idiots"
"Yeah, you should", I smiled and handed her her phone, "here, I'm guessing Victor's your brother? Judging from his messages, he might be on the verge of a heart attack right now"
"Oh my God Victor!", Valerie sprang up from the chair and took the phone from me, "he's going to kill me!"
I laughed, "I don't think so, you're just eating anchovies for a week"
"What?", she looked at me in confusion and made a face, "gross, I hate those"
"His words not mine", I chuckled, "also this is completely unrelated, but I liked your Halloween costume, you totally pulled off Marilyn Monroe"
"Really?", Valerie was surprised, then she smiled slightly, "thanks. I wanted to be Evelyn Hugo though, but Rachael thought dressing as a fictional character was lame"
"No way", I gasped, "you've read The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo?"
"Yeah", she nodded and grinned, "you too?"
"Totally!", I gushed, "how dare Rachael call Evelyn Hugo lame, she's a legend!"
"Tell me about it", Valerie agreed, "the woman was iconic"
"I wish you'd dressed up as her", I groaned, "we'd have become friends on the spot"
"Friends?", Valerie repeated, her eyes wide with surprise and confusion, "you want to be friends with me?"
I thought about it, beings friends with Valerie. It would be awkward and rocky at first, and who knows how the others would react, but how bad could it actually be? Of course I wasn't expecting us to become best of friends, but we could at least be civil to each other. Plus, she could really use a decent human being or two in her life.
"Why not?", I told her, "the misunderstandings have been cleared up, besides-", I shrugged, "-you don't want to hang out with someone who has the gall to disrespect Evelyn Hugo do you?"
Valerie became misty eyed again, and she gave me a shaky smile, "thank you Zahra, really"
I returned the smile, feeling pumped up all of a sudden, "you should call your brother now", I advised, "he might be organizing a search party as we speak"
"I wouldn't put it past him", she grumbled and dialed his number, "he could be in a police station right now, I'll probably be grounded till I'm thirty"
I laughed and left to give her some privacy, making my way to the kitchen. Hailey was perched on a stool in front of the kitchen table, a plate of watermelon slices in front of her, frowning at her phone. She looked up as I entered and raised a brow, "well look, it's Mother Teresa", she griped, but her tone sounded half joking.
I rolled my eyes and walked over to her side, "I'm not as nice as you think", I said and pulled out another stool to sit beside her.
Hailey snorted, "yes you are, you'd probably jump into a river to rescue a drowning rabbit"
"I can't swim", I countered.
"then you'd probably give a stranger the last of your money if they told you they were hungry and had no money"
I faltered, "well, if it's a little kid I might-"
"See?", Hailey regarded me with a scowl, "you think kids don't also con people? You're so naive"
"Hey, nice and naive are two completely different things"
"Maybe not in your case, I might have to monitor you closely, just in case you open the door for a serial killer and offer him herbal tea"
I spat out a laugh, "okay now you're being ridiculous"
Hailey shrugged and smiled as she bit into a watermelon slice, "just looking out for my best friend"
"Are you okay?", I asked her.
She shrugged again, "I don't know, I'm just... conflicted"
"About what?"
She was silent for a while, twisting the fork in her hand around, "I heard the stuffs she said you know"
"Wait really? You were listening?", I asked in surprise.
"I got curious", Hailey said, "you two were taking a while so I wondered what you could be possibly be talking about, so I left the room and listened from the stairs. I heard her story from the part where Rachael got her stuff and made her popular"
That was practically from the beginning, so Hailey heard it all. I wondered what she felt as she listened, "what did you think?", I asked her.
"It made me angry", she told me, "all my life I had this image of Valerie, I was convinced she was a spoiled, cold, heartless brat. Her tale turned that idea upside down completely, along with my convictions. It made me really mad, I didn't want to hear apology because if she did, after I knew she isn't what I made her up to be in my mind, I won't have a reason to not forgive her. I could hate her before without questioning it, but now- I still hate her, and it makes me feel like an ass", she turned to me, her eyes full of anguish, "do I have to forgive her now? What about all the things she did to me? I can't just forget about all that, I don't know how you do it Zee. You're so damn brave, definitely not naive"
I stared at Hailey stunned, I had thought that she would have been adamant, and that it would have taken a while for her to accept Valerie's apology. But to think that she was beating herself up not being able to stay angry with her, was something I didn't expect. My heart squeezed with sympathy and admiration, it was as I told Valerie- Hailey was a very kind person.
"You know, my dad once told me that- it takes a strong person to say that they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive"
Hailey sniffed, "what does that even mean?"
"I think it means that forgiveness isn't really about the other person, it's about you. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you're excusing their actions, it's about letting go for the sake of your own peace. It's not forgetting, but about you healing and not letting the past hold you hostage anymore. If you keep holding onto the resentment you'll just end up a bitter person, it's much better to be free from that emotional bondage"
Hailey blinked at me with wide eyes, she turned and shoved another watermelon slice in her mouth. She was silent as she chewed, only speaking after she spat out the seeds, "you're right", she murmured, "but I need some time"
"Of course, take all the time you need"
"I heard you when you were talking to her just now though, let me tell you- I wasn't worried!", she huffed, "I just thought kidnapping her would be fun"
That made me laugh, "sure Hailey, whatever you say"
Surprise surprise 😁... bet you weren't expecting that at all😌
If you were Zahra or Hailey, would you forgive Valerie?