KYLE
SHE LEFT. SHE really left. I knew that before I opened my eyes. I was hit with a sickening emptiness when I didn't feel her presence anywhere in the room. That wave of warmth, fire actually- that I associated with Amanda's calming, contagious and all consuming aura wasn't in proximity. I felt her inside me like the blood in my veins. The air I breathed and the beat of my heart. So of course it would make sense that I would know when she wasn't there.
How could anyone not know when their heart wasn't beating?
She was part of my soul. My existence depended fully on hers. I pushed back the tears that threatened to tear me apart from already missing her. Although last night the two of us were in sync, I wasn't dumb to mistake her momentary weakness as anything more than what it actually was. A momentary weakness.
I knew exactly the type of woman she was. But I hoped that I hadn't pushed her too hard.
Last night had been perfect. Just like any moment I spent with her. I smiled thinking of everything that took place and I realised that although I felt a crushing weight in my chest from knowing she wasn't mine anymore, half of it had lifted off of me. The day ahead wasn't as scary as it had been for a while. I was ready to man up to my responsibilities just like she had so gently pointed out. She was my cure that I needed. Just like she had been.
After our separation, seeing her from afar had pushed me forward more than Samantha or anyone else ever had. Her presence kept my sanity intact. Otherwise I would have crumbled from the pressure.
The others may have helped me cross the threshold, but Amanda had always been my guiding light. My inspiration. She was my north. Doing something we were both so passionate about had brought purpose and made me feel closer to her. She's HER. And no one was ever going to take her away from my soul.
That optimism accompanied me as I walked into the hospital. I nearly couldn't recognise myself with how much weight I had lost but I was grateful it wasn't that bad. Smiles and happiness greeted me all the way to my floor. It was nice to be welcomed in a positive manner into a place you considered more than just a workplace.
"Come in."
Samantha said as I knocked on her door. I popped my head around first to see her busy on her computer. As elegantly poised as ever. I could never describe Samantha without adding elegance in there. That word went hand in hand with her.
"Hey."
She pulled her glasses off with a grim expression.
"I'm happy to see you took my advice."
Sadly her advice had nothing to do with my appearance but I couldn't exactly tell her that to her face, for obvious reasons.
"I did actually. Take the advice seriously I mean."
I hadn't exactly lied. I had taken the advice seriously. Not hers but Amanda's. But she didn't need to know that.
"I'm glad. But I'll advice you again. Don't repeat what you did. This is something I didn't expect from you. I never knew you to be so careless and irresponsible. Don't make me question your loyalty and dedication. You know how much I value this hospital. I have to know that it's in capable hands."
I nodded taking a seat opposite from her. I couldn't help my frown as I sat there like something was a bit off. Her gaze brought mine to hers as she laced her fingers and placed them under her chin. She dorned that fierce look infused with a touch of concern that I knew very well.
"Was it something serious?"
My confusion must have been apparent because she went on.
"The reason you left. Was it about something serious?"
She had no idea. I didn't need to think about it.
"Very serious."
"Is it resolved."
"I... wouldn't say that it's resolved. If anything, I think it's become a little bit complicated but more clearer at the same time. You feel me." She sighed. She didn't.
"I've never been cynical about you but surely you must understand my hesitancy in not fully believing in your commitment to this hospital at this given time. Let's be on the same page on this Kyle. I will not allow anymore missteps on your part. This is the most important time to be on high alert. There's no room for what did you say? Complicated but more clearer situations. I hope I don't need to remind you of your long-term involvement in this hospital."
I swallowed back my annoyance at feeling like I was being scolded like a five year old child. She seemed to forget that I wasn't her simpleton employee.
"Don't worry Samantha. My personal life won't be causing or affecting my work life now."
I stood and she finally smiled that welcoming smile that seemed to have been gone on her face recently. It startled me to realise that Samantha hadn't been the same gentle person for a while now. She had become more reserved and a bit more robotic than normal. My concern wasn't that great as it seeped out of my body as soon as the thought had flittered through my mind.
I stood with a smirk as I registered what had seemed off to me earlier.
"You changed some things around?"
"I did."
"Nice. I like it."
"Thanks. Change is necessary when things start to become disfunctional."
"Right."
It was a good enough explanation I guess. She had never been so cryptic for as long as I'd known her.
"Well don't change things around too much until they start becoming unfamiliar. Remember that."
Okay so I managed to spend my day receiving only a few ineffective bullets from Doctor Allan. The man behaved like an infant and not a middle aged man already nearing his end. Definitely not as the Head of Surgery he liked to brag about. That is if you thought being in his forties was young enough. Maybe it was. I guess. He didn't particularly look like death was knocking on his doorstep at that very moment but...
Anyway I had no idea why I had allowed myself to think about the man so much. He wasn't important in my life and I saw him as a harmless dog that barked because he needed the bone he thought I took from him. Yeah I know.
I thought he was harmless until I was called for a disciplinary hearing some time during the day. His words not mine. Allan had somehow gone behind Samantha's back and called other board members to explain my absence from the hospital for a week without informing the hospital authorities. I sighed in amusement.
He couldn't manage to portray me into the villian he thought he could as much as he wanted to. He managed to get his audience and I could tell from the fuming look Samantha was giving him that he was going to be getting it from her. I had never needed straightening up before and that was made clear in the meeting. But Samantha liked the thought of being the hierarchy so being made insignificant never landed well on her. And Allan had made that mistake. I didn't mean for it to seem like I was intentionally acting reckless because I had someone in my corner to defend me each time.
But I did. And I couldn't help the guilt that accompanied with Samantha's presence in my life. Anyway that meeting was fruitless to say the least. After not so much debating about what my punishment should be for going against hospital policy, I ended up with a verbal warning to Allan's dismay and outrage. It didn't even qualify as a slap in the wrist. More like a pat. And in Allan's eyes they might as well have laid down the red carpet and wrapped a garland around my neck then made me a statue of honour.
"I don't know how you did it this time but you won't always be this lucky Griffin. Trust me, your day will come one day. And you won't have that smug look on your face."
Probably but my smug look only intensified at the thought of the heart attack the guy was giving himself. Slowly but surely, he was driving himself to his death if he wasn't too careful. I had too many things on my mind to deal with, than going head to head with Allan. Again. I had buried that hatchet a long time ago.
Well not entirely and not exactly.
My mind screamed at me and I grimaced.
Since my reappearance hadn't been expected, I hadn't been assigned any of the interns which meant lunchtime rolled in without seeing her.
I hadn't managed to catch a glimpse of Amanda and I wasn't sure which way I actually wanted things to go. Did I want to see her? Not really. I had no idea what I would say to her when I did.
I hadn't exactly planned on yesterday actually happening. But did I need to see her? Yes. Definitely. I functioned better when I caught a glimpse of her beautiful smile. Her lovely face. Her tantalising mouth. Her sexy body. Yeah I was a goner and I admitted it.
Some of my patients were very happy to see me especially Thabang. I was happy with the progress he had made. All thanks to Amanda's beautiful and attentive nature. Her beautiful soul could nurture a dead plant to life. Not that the boy was a plant or was he dead. Anyway moving on...
I was grateful to find out that a few of my patients had recovered enough to be discharged to continue their recovery at home. I made a mental note to visit Mr Jones who had come cursing at his daughter in-law like he was a drunk sailor because apparently her food had made his shoulder and arm all tingly.
The man had been busy having a heart attack while going for his son's wife's head. It would have been hilarious to listen to him if the old man hadn't been aiding Death to pull him to his door with all that blood pressure that had been off the chats.
I made a mental note to go and check how he was doing. It had been utterly careless of me to put these people's lives in danger like I had. Although the man's heart attack had been a mild one, a lot of tests had to be done in order to determine whether his condition was serious or would have been a one time thing.
I got more love for my return from more doctors and I saw two interns at the cafeteria during lunch. Yet there was no sign of Amanda anywhere. I may not have been looking forward to the scolding I was sure to get from Amanda for seducing her, which I shamelessly did. But seeing her made my day better.
"You had us worried there for a sec Doctor G."
Brianne commented with a warm smile. I always made sure to maintain professionalism during working hours but sometimes I Iet the grim face go just a little bit.
"There was nothing to worry about Brianne."
"There was a rumour going around that you had been fired and the hospital was trying to keep it on the downlow." I raised a brow folding my arms on my chest.
"Oh is that so?"
"Yes Doctor G." She said.
I smirked smugly.
"Rest assured that wasn't the case. Remember they can't fire me." I leaned forward as if parting with a secret.
"I am too valuable."
I winked and I saw her blush at me.
"That you are."
Mildred another intern chimed in as she came to us and my eyes danced with amusement. She was witty and I had caught her on more than one occasion passing comments about my looks. She was vocal about most things. Although she tried to say her thoughts to a minimum when we were working, she still had her moments.
"It's nice to have you back Doctor Griff."
"It's good to be back. How have you all been? Did you perform any major surgeries." She snorted and my lips twitched.
"Not at all. It sucks without you here. I feel like you're the only one who's truly concerned about teaching us anything."
"I agree. I am tired of being in the Emergency room assisting when I should be in the theatre operating on someone who's life is actually in need of desperate saving." Brianne added her two cents and I smiled.
"Where are the rest of the interns? I want to have an urgent meeting with them? Do you know where they are? Eugene? Shantel? Amanda? Keith? Are they here?" I acted as if I was looking around before checking my watch. I would kill that boy if he was anywhere near her. Mildred smiled brightly.
"Oh they're on the roof. Keith asked Amanda to go and she went with him." I narrowed my eyes a little bit and her smile broadened. I wasn't blind and I raised a brow at her obvious display of amusement.
"Shantel followed them so I think they're together."
I chucked with a smirk walking away. So they aren't really alone then. I thought as I headed for the elevator to take me to the roof.
*************
Allan seems hellbent on hurting Kyle but he's not all that underhanded.
Let's hope he won't change his tactics and use more forceful measures.
We'll see then.