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19. a visitor
Even though she’s still not particularly hungry, she digs into the bland hospital breakfast almost eagerly. If she wants to make sure she can develop some kind of strategy for Treech in the arena or even sneak him some information regarding the snake mutts, she knows she needs to keep herself healthy and recover as soon as she can.
The clock is ticking. It’s an odd sentiment for June, really. After the war, she sometimes had the feeling like she had all the time in the world. And now that she’s just a little over a month over eighteen, it suddenly feels like she’s close to running out of it. The Games have been postponed — again — but she knows she can’t depend on that alone.
She needs to act before it’s too late. Preferably as soon as she can.
Castiel’s mood is still understandably dampened. June can tell there’s a storm brewing inside of him, something waiting to be unleashed. Whatever it is, she knows it won’t be pretty. But the determination in his eyes soothes her nerves for the time being and she concludes that whatever it is that he’s cooking up, won’t be aimed at her.
When the doctor comes in to check her vitals, she makes a conscious effort to downplay her lingering aches. Unlike Coriolanus who is still unconscious, she wants to make use of the fact that she woke up rather quickly.
And it works. One more check-up in the afternoon and then she’ll be good to go if her state hasn’t deteriorated by then.
Soon after that initial check-up, Cas leaves but promises it won’t be too long. He wants to go home and get a fresh set of clothes, then he’ll give their friends a call to let them know she’s doing well so they don’t worry either. That aside, he might take a look into their mother’s study while she’s off at work. If he can find the spare key, that is.
It’s quite ironic but not even ten minutes after he left, June’s peace is interrupted by the sound of the door creaking. Not that it’s a sound that wouldn’t bother her otherwise, it’s just that she can immediately tell someone is trying to open the door without making too much noise and failing miserably.
She decides she’ll catch up on some missed sleep later and forces her eyes open only to be greeted with the sight of a completely unscathed Sejanus. Their eyes meet briefly, he blinks and when she sits up and shoots him a smile, his relief is palpable.
“You’re awake,” he rasps out, trying to be quiet. He closes the door behind him softly and crosses the room in eager strides, inspecting his now conscious best friend with careful eyes. “I wasn’t sure. The doctor told me you were accepting visitors but he said there’s a chance you might be asleep.”
“I think I’ve slept enough yesterday,” June jokes weakly and straightens up, raising her arms so they can hug. It lingers but unlike the one they shared at Arachne’s funeral, this hug is lighter. That doesn’t make it any less comforting though and she finds that the scent of freshly baked goods clinging to him brings her some peace of mind.
“How are you holding up?” She then asks when they’ve parted again, “You look fine. Not a single scratch on you.”
Sejanus shrugs and when she makes space on the bed, he sits down on the edge of it. “I got lucky,” he says with a sigh. “Almost everyone got hurt in some way. I’ve got a bruise on my leg but it was nothing worth seeing the medics over.”
He glances back, shooting a look at Coriolanus’ unconscious form. His brows furrow in worry, “Nothing yet?” He asks quieter this time. “He hasn’t woken up?”
“Not that I’ve seen, no,” June replies softly and looks over as well. “I thought I heard the doctor giving him some more morphling last night. But the burns seem to have healed a little bit.” She chews on her lower lip, “They said something fell on him. I don’t know what but he must’ve gotten out somehow.”
“I’m sure he had some help,” Sejanus says and turns back to look at her. “Like you did. I got out after Cas did.” He exhales softly and shakes his head, “I saw what happened to his tribute. Do you think…” He trails off.
June frowns, “It doesn’t look like she’ll make it.”
Grimly, she adds, “Not with the treatment she’s getting at least. It’s awful.”
“I don’t know if you can even call that a treatment,” he spits. "What they’re doing to them is inhumane. They need a doctor and not a vet.”
“Yeah, I know. It doesn’t look like they’ll allow that though,” June says. She gently tucks her sheets aside and scoots over on the bed, placing a hand on his back. “They told me about Marcus, too. Have you heard anything about him yet?”
Sejanus shakes his head, “I don’t think they’d let me know even if they did.” He scoffs. “They act like he’s a threat. There are Peacekeepers everywhere and they’re more armed than usual.”
“I saw,” June says and rubs small circles on his back. “I think it’s ridiculous. It’s just one boy and he hasn’t eaten properly in days. And he wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
Truth be told, she’s unsure if she even wants them to find Marcus at all. They’ll either shoot him on sight, which she deems most likely, or they’ll force him back into the monkey enclosure where the rest of the tributes currently are. And as punishment, it wouldn’t surprise her if they simply let him starve to death in there, too. She hopes he’s far away from the Capitol by now but a part of her knows it’s hopeless. Even if he makes it to one of the Districts, he’s severely weakened from the past few days and might collapse sooner or later.
But, for now, he’s free. And while that freedom might not last forever, it’s still better than being here in the Capitol where he’d be locked up and then sent off to an almost certain death.
Sejanus hums, “Yeah, he wouldn’t. He was always one of the taller kids even at school but he was always kind to everyone. He always stuck up for people that were getting bullied, too. I guess we all just felt safe around him.”
As if he can’t stop himself, he continues speaking, “When I first came to the Capitol, I was terrified. Everyone treated me differently, like I was beneath them. There were days when I wished we were still in Two because I knew that if someone picked on me there, I would’ve had someone that’d stick up for me.” He swallows, “But I was all alone.”
There’s a brief silence. June’s heart feels heavy in her chest and while she knows she can’t do much to help him in this situation, she still hopes her presence can be some comfort to him.
“I’m sorry,” she says softly. “I know I can’t possibly understand what that’s like but I know what it’s like to know you can’t go back to the way things used to be.” She sighs, “Things will never be the way they were before the war. Sometimes I wish I could go back, too.”
In retrospect, she finds the realization that she can’t go back to the way things once were more painful than any physical pain she has ever felt before. To know that your childhood is over is a horrible realization that dawned upon her the second the first bombs hit the Capitol. But to have your innocence stripped away from you so abruptly with no prior warning signs — not in her young self’s eyes, at least — was horrific.
One day she was playing hide and seek with her brother in their family’s house, their grandmother watching over them with pure joy etched upon her wrinkled face, and the next day that same house was torn apart by the harsh reality of impending war. When the first bomb hit, she didn’t know that it would change her forever, that it would shape her into the kind of person she is now.
Before that, she never knew what it was like to lose something you loved. But to crawl out beneath the rubble after the first bombings with her twin by her side, only to find almost everything you love turned to ashes was the most gruesome experience of her life. Even nowadays she can’t escape the war. As much as she tries to suppress it, the memories come back to haunt her in the most cruel ways imaginable. Whether it be late at night or right after Arachne was murdered in front of her, that same sickening feeling of being powerless never fails to creep up on her.
Sometimes, she tries to pretend it made her stronger. But then there are other times when she knows that isn’t true.
Once you’ve crawled into a burning house, you’ll never come out again. The burns will fade, the house will be rebuilt, better times will come — but it will always be a part of you.
There are days when things seem lighter and the past worries and trauma are far away, but she knows she’ll never be safe. Even now, there will always be moments when the flames come back to engulf her, consume her fully.
What she saw during the war will haunt her, most likely even for the rest of her life. It’s all she can do to not turn out like her parents and use it as an excuse to torment more people. She wants to be good, to do good. And if she can at least help one person make it out of the Games alive, she’ll take that chance by any means necessary.
She won’t let what happened change her for the worse.
“Well,” Sejanus then says. He turns his head to face her, his expression softening. “Not everyone here is bad. I know I don’t say it enough but I think you and Cas are among the main reasons I haven’t lost my mind yet.”
Glancing back at the other male in the room, he adds, “Coriolanus, too. You’re my friends and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.”
She smiles softly and nods, “I feel the same way. That’s why it’s probably for the best if we stick together from now on, too.” She gives his arm a gentle squeeze and her eyes light up, “It can’t hurt if we keep on doing things the way we have until now. I think it works for us.”
He laughs, “It does.” He pauses briefly, “Have you heard anything about Treech? Did they tell you what state he’s in?”
Her smile widens at the mention of Treech’s name, something that doesn’t entirely escape his eyes either. That alone is enough to make her stomach flutter strangely but comfortingly.
There’s a moment when she fixes her bangs and absent-mindedly folds her hands on her lap and she clears her throat when her cheeks turn pink that has Sejanus raising his eyebrows. “I… Kind of?” She says, “I—”
“—June,” Sejanus interrupts her. “Are you trying to tell me that you went there?”
“I-I wasn’t by myself, if that’s your concern,” she quickly interjects. "It was just me and Cas. How did you know?”
As if he’s about to tell her a secret, his smile turns almost impish. It’s not a look she sees on him very often and thus, it’s even more alarming. He shrugs with a surprising carefreeness, “I don’t know. I thought your face gave it away.” It almost looks like he’s trying not to laugh, “You’re not exactly subtle, and you’ve never been a good liar either.”
She shoots him a look and rolls her eyes. “I just wanted to see how he’s doing myself. Apparently they drugged him and I just… I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep again until I knew for sure that he was okay.”
“You care for him a lot, don’t you?”
That question catches her off-guard. She knows she can’t deny it, she’s convinced even a blind man would be able to see how much she cares about Treech just from the way that she talks about him. It hasn’t even been a few days but with the amount of time that they’ve spent together, the things they’ve seen together, she knows they share a bond so unlike the other tributes and their mentors it’s immediately noticeable.
It’s an odd thing, really. When she thinks of Treech, she feels strangely comforted despite the situation they’re in. She knows there’s still things that need to be taken care of until she can be reassured that he has a clear advantage in the arena, but it doesn’t scare her as much as it usually would. Treech has his troubles, too, and even though his death might be right around the corner, he’s putting on a brave face. It motivates her to do the same thing, too, even if it’s just for his sake.
She bites down on her lower lip, “You think that’s a bad thing?” She asks softly, trying to gauge her best friend’s reaction. “It’s just a feeling I have, you know? If things were different, I think we’d be good friends even. I think we kind of just clicked.”
Sejanus chuckles and doesn’t even bother hiding his amusement. “You can lie to yourself as much as you want, June, but I don’t think you’d be just friends. When I said his name, you looked happier than you have in a long time.”
June’s cheeks flare up again and she can practically feel the heat crawling up her back all the day up her neck and into her face. Her heart beats faster and she can’t help but wonder if Sejanus has a point. Is this the way you talk and think about someone you could be friends with? She doesn’t know. All she knows is that being around Treech makes her feel good in a way she’s not quite familiar with.
But she thinks she could get used to it.
When she averts her gaze, Sejanus lets out a small laugh and shakes his head. “Hey,” he then says and reaches for her wrist. He takes her hand into his and gives it a comforting squeeze. “I won’t tell anyone. Not even Cas.”
Even though he doubts June’s twin doesn’t know. He knows it’s not scientifically proven, but he thinks their bond as twins makes them closer than normal siblings. It’s not that he knows what it’s like since he’s an only-child, but despite the fact that they’re not always side-by-side the way the Ring twins were, he knows they have something not a lot of siblings have. It’s different from their relationship with their little brother.
Sometimes it almost feels like they can read each other’s minds.
“But,” Sejanus then says, his tone giving away how much he’d rather not bring this up, “I also don’t want you to get hurt, alright? The Games are right around the corner and…” He trails off.
But he doesn’t need to go on. June frowns, “I know I shouldn’t get too attached but it’s like I can’t help it, you know?” She absent-mindedly plays with his fingers, “I’m going to give it everything I’ve got to get him out of there alive, though.”
“You’ll do great,” Sejanus reassures her. “I know you will. He’s really lucky to have you as his mentor, you know? I’m sure your efforts are comforting to him, too.”
“I hope so,” she mumbles. "But I already told myself I won’t let him die in there.”
He looks over at her with newfound interest. June isn’t facing him directly, he’s not even sure if she’s looking at anything at all now, but there’s a look in her eyes he hasn’t seen much from her.
“Whatever it takes,” she mumbles. "But before that, I need to make sure they release me from the hospital first.”
Whatever it takes, her words echo in his head.
He can’t help but wonder how far she’s willing to go for Treech. He has heard much about people doing reckless things to save those they care about — he only hopes it won’t end in heartbreak and pain for her.
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in the era of calamities,
you're a moment of peace.
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"why did 'junia' become 'june'" it's symbolic! detachment from her parents and their values <3
a little bit filler, i think. and shorter, too, but this just a brief start to act II. i figured it'd make sense to start with june realizing there's something more than friendship here. and sejanus is just <33 i love him and june as besties
and because it's so short; onto the next one! <3