Mahil :
It had started to snow. White fairies danced in sky landing on the ground. City lights embellished their feathery appearance imparting golden - blue, purple and crimson shades on a distant road. Through my balcony, I could see American Elms, Buckthorns and Maples welcoming the colds of infinite sky in the embrace of lush green leaves, their brown stems being snowman themselves. Sipping onto hot chocolate, I sat there flipping through pages of Gita.
Later that evening when I came across Kuhoo, she acknowledged me with bare minimum smile. I returned the same before resuming reading.
"Still reading Gita?" She asked.
"I'm actually re-reading it. Earlier a few things went totally above my head. So, I'm trying to interpret their meaning now," I shrugged.
She smiled being surprised, "And how is that going?"
Scratching the head, I chuckled embarrassed, "Not the way I expected. First I read it, I had some... Urggh... Some..." Sliding my tongue over lips, I bit the lower one trying to find a right word.
She stared at the sky thinking.
I clicked my fingers, suddenly remembering it. At the same time, Kuhoo nodded realizing meaning behind my unsaid words. Both of us exclaimed, "Goosebumps moments!"
Shaking the head, I chuckled while placing a hair strand behind her ear; she stared at ground flabbergasted before looking back in my direction. Then we went silent, air around us being a subtle amalgamation of awkwardness and stupefaction.
"You know there was a time when I wished for a person who could complete my words and understand me and just be there. But now that I have you, I don't know how to convince you regarding the same," I released a jagged breath holding her gaze. Although for an infinitesimally small moment but emotions that surfaced in her eyes felt like an icing to the aching wounds of my heart.
Why she was doing this to us, I still couldn't comprehend. I already did everything in my power. So, I was going to wait for her to take a step towards me, towards us. Perhaps, it would be wrong to pester her to the point where she would call me 'obsessed'.
"You know what happens after that Mahil? That someone you are talking about, one with whom you believe you can share everything; be it worries or happiness, sorrows or fears and take up all the challenges that life throws at you. Once you experience what is it to live with that person, then it is difficult exist without them. They leave and moments start to seem incomplete, you know how they would act if they were there, you want it again, all of it, but it's gone," Her blank eyes stared at distant trees slowly getting covered in snow as she went down memory lane.
Clearing the throat, I added, "So, I was saying that I can't interpret meaning behind a few verses, actually a lot of them. Some seemed like they were talking about my own life, personally relatable but others were just words to me."
Kuhoo smiled, "Certainly. You can't expect to understand everything told in Gita just by reading it once, right? Read it in different phases of life and you'll interpret it differently. As a kid when I was introduced to Gita for the first time, I didn't understand a thing. A few verses from 'Vishwarupa darshan yoga' used to fascinate me when my dadi would narrate the story how Krishna had shown his 'Virat Rupa' to Arjuna on the field of Kurukhestra. As I grew up and joined my course, I found 'Karma yoga' relatable. May be in old age, I would understand other chapters better. That's the beauty of Gita; it has something for every individual. What matters is if you can see it."
"That sounds like a long way to go." I sighed.
"Just another way to live life. So, about what you told me in the morning, I was... I was thinking," Kuhoo took a step back scratching back of her neck. I stared at her inquisitively before she met my eyes asking, "Dinner?"
Widening the orbs, I got up from comfortable balcony chair. A ghostly smile made its way to my lips, "You mean... You..." I chuckled running a hand through the hair, "You mean... You... I... We," I chortled again.
As if wanting to share my happiness the sky decided to shower upon us. Feathery white snow freckles landed on my face as the wind changed its direction.
I smiled, "See, somebody up there is happy because you chose me. You chose us."
"Mahil, I... I..." Shaking her head she stared at the floor.
"Am I expecting too much from you Kuhoo?" I asked.
"May be I'm not capable to reciprocate what you deserve. I'm sorry if that gave you any false hopes. I meant a simple dinner. Like usual times," She explained.
"I'm always going to have a hope about us. At least one of us has to. But you don't need to burden yourself because of it. I like you and I thought you did too, just that you didn't realize. But if you don't, it's not your responsibility. I can handle my own feelings," I mumbled.
"How can it be your responsibility when the hurt is caused by me?" She whispered.
I stayed silent. If she didn't feel anything, then why did I hear pain in her voice? Was she hurt because I was hurt? Then why wouldn't she just free us off the aloofness and come to me as my woman?
"You like snowfall?" She asked.
"I love it. Most of my childhood memories revolve around snowfalls and skiing or fishing during our family outings, although, the best ones are about them dancing. My dad was great at skiing. He would take us to resorts in San Bernardino Mountain ranges every winter. I was five when I skied for the first time," I laughed pausing for a moment recalling the day, "I still remember I had fallen straight on my face and sprained an ankle. After that I was sort of scared of skiing but my father wouldn't let me stay indoors. He didn't like the idea of his son being afraid of something he was so good at. After a few more falls, I actually started to enjoy it."
"Sounds nice," She nodded appreciatively.
"What about you? Like the snow?" I glanced at her curious.
She laughed awkwardly, "Yeah, I mean it's nice. But the thing is when I came here I wasn't used to such cold temperatures. If you don't know it doesn't really snow in Mumbai. First time I experienced a snowfall was here in Chicago. Couldn't pay much attention to it, except for shoveling the path for my car, because that was first year of my residency, I had super long duty hours and remaining time I would just sleep. That's the only thing on your mind when you've worked some thirty six or forty eight hours straight."
As if on a whim, I asked immediately, "So, you're saying you never had snow fights with your friends as a child?"
Narrowing the eyes Kuhoo shook her head, "Err...No..."
"Never made a snowman?" My eyeballs almost popped out at the thought. Her reaction showed she hadn't. What was this woman doing all her life?
"This is insane!" I exclaimed.
"Oh please, I used to make sandcastles on a beach as a child. It doesn't snow in Mumbai so how am I to have snowman experience? And you don't get to tease me about this like my colleagues. Anyways, I don't fancy getting frostbites," She scoffed looking sideways flipping ends of her hair sheepishly.
Rolling my tongue over the lips, I attempted to shut words of appraisal coming out of my mouth. God, she was so cute when embarrassed.
"What exactly did they tease you about?" I leaned slightly to her side.
"Nothing," She stared at the sky rubbing her palms over one another.
"Eh, tell me," I pressed.
"During my first year here, I went with a few of my colleagues for skiing. I already told them I didn't know how to do it but they insisted," I could guess what happened later. My legs moved on their own accord to her door as she narrated rest of the story, "And then it kind of didn't go well with me, I fell a few times and they went ahead. It's not really a great memory... Mahil? Where're you?"
Ringing the bell, I waited for her to open the door and as soon as she did, I said, "Come with me."
Holding her hand, I pulled her along.
"Are you crazy? It's like minus two degrees outside. I don't want to fall ill. Whatever mad ideas you've got, put them off." She resisted.
"Nothing is going to happen if you're out for some time. I still can't believe you've never had snow fights." I gushed.
"How does that even matter? Ouch... Mahil!" She screamed as I threw a snowball in her direction. Putting a hand on her hips, she shouted, "What are you? Seven?"
"There's no age to have fun, Kuhoo," I threw another snowball but this time she dodged earning an appreciative nod from me.
"Fine then, let's see who's better at hitting the target," She picked a few snowflakes making them into a huge ball. I attempted to make a hasty retreat but she directly aimed at my left cheek.
"Ouch," I bellowed, "You can't hit my face, okay?"
"Oh, I can. And I definitely will," She ran away before throwing another snowball at me which again hit side of my neck.
"Madwoman! Wait until I catch you," Cleaning the snow off my jacket, I followed her trail grabbing a few snowflakes on the way making snowballs and aiming them at her one by one.
First one she dodged while running. Second one she ducked her head and easily saved herself. How could I forget the woman was good at defense? After all, it was Adi who taught her- Oh. Shaking my head, I focused on Kuhoo as she hit me with another snowball.
What was going on with me? I was about to ruin one of our beautiful moments by thinking about him, a man I had never met. Did this happen to Kuhoo when we would spend time together? I didn't even know the man still that though made it to my mind, but she on the other hand had countless memories with him.
Replacing someone was not my forte, but I would love it if she had a few of her core memories with me, memories which she would reminisce on a normal afternoon or during a coffee with friends or on a simple walk before going to sleep. I would love if I was such an important part of her life, so much that she missed being with me.
"Where're you lost?" She threw another ball that hit my nose.
"Kuhoo! You're so gone," I scurried behind her like a madman as she laughed loudly continuing our chase, screaming a few times as I aimed.
I caught the hold of her. She nudged me with an elbow and we fell down gasping for air. Kuhoo laughed more moving the face here and there as I showered her with crushed snow. "Mahil!"
"It was also one of my dreams, you know," I whispered lying beside, catching my breath.
"What?" She chuckled.
"To make out in the middle of nowhere during a snowfall. We run and fight. Laugh and fall. As I near my face close to her neck, she arcs forward ceasing the distance. The air is cold except for our mingling breaths and then..." I played with her curls.
"And then?" Kuhoo asked meeting my eyes and for the first time I could see anticipation in her orbs instead of restraint.
"Then as my warm lips touch the cold skin of her neck, she says my name and I lose it all hearing the sound of it," I added huskily.
She shivered, "And then?"
"Why do you even want to know that?" I chuckled shaking my head before getting up and sitting straight.
She followed my lead, "I don't know. You only were telling me."
"Really? Is that so?" I challenged.
"Yeah," She looked sideways hiding red hue on her cheeks.
As she tried to get up, holding her wrist I pulled the woman closer, "Kuhoo," I called and she just hummed, breathing heavily, staring into my eyes. Crimson red hue of her cheeks reached till ears. At that moment, she was a living poetry to my eyes, her beautiful face with that pointed nose and rose-petal lips being a masterpiece of almighty himself. I blinked the eyelashes as she quizzed with her brows, movement of her chin acing an artistic curvy wave down that slender neck. She didn't know what she was. She certainly didn't. And I wanted to tell her in a thousand ways.
"Mahil?" Her words broke my reverie.
I stuttered, "I was saying... I was saying you've got snowflakes all over your hair."
She pursed the lips, "I obviously know that. I'll get a bath or something."
"Can I help you?" Running my fingers through her silky strands, I met her eyes, "Your hair, are my most favorite part of you. They were the ones that pulled my attention the night we first met. They remind me of my mother. She was beautiful, just like you."
Picking out a few snowflakes, I smiled, "Now you look perfect. Like always."
"Thank you," She whispered cupping my cheeks and then stood up.
"Umm, Kuhoo," I called and she hummed again, "Would you like to give another try to skiing? With me this time?"
Glancing at me surprised, she chortled before starting to walk ahead, "I'll think about it."
"Tomorrow morning then?" I fell into steps with her.
"Go, get some sleep," She bit the lower lip.
"I'll be waiting." I bowed before sauntering out of the elevator as we reached our floor moving into our respective places.
------------------------------------------------
Vote and comment!
Would anyone want to give some advice to our Mahil or Kuhoo?
Let the butterflies in your stomach fly high *Winks*
How much did you smile while reading this one?
If not then may be I have to up my game. Hehe.
Btw, apologies for not updating earlier. I have been super busy. Three working sundays continuously, can you imagine? *Huffs*