A/N: tw for mentions of an eating disorder
August 21st, 2023
I get woken up by the cats, meowing. When I open my eyes, I see that it's still pitch black outside. Then I look over to the door, hearing scratches, realizing that when Travis went to get his bag last night, he fully closed the door, not knowing the cats would want in at some point through the night.
My back is facing him, his arm holding me close to him, spooning me, and I try to get out of his embrace without waking him up but that doesn't work.
"What's happening?"
I get up, still half asleep, and go to the door to open it. As soon as I do, Olivia and Benji sprint into the room and onto the bed, Meredith following closely behind them. "The cats were meowing and scratching the door because you closed it. Forgot to tell you." I climb back in, moving Dibbles, who immediately acquired my place in front of Trav and who is not very happy that I moved her. "Hey, this is my place." I say as I lay back, Travis spooning me again, and Olivia tries to get in between us.
Trav just chuckles, moving Olivia above our heads and that's where she settles, purring quietly. "Your place, right here." He mumbles, kissing my hairline. "Sorry, Dibbles."
I wake up again around 7am. Travis is still asleep and this time, I manage to get out of his arms without waking him up and I close myself in the bathroom, getting through my morning routine. It's surprising I am up before Ellie is, so I have to use my time as best as I can.
I slip on Trav's t-shirt from last night, adding a pair of leggings and take the baby monitor downstairs, making myself a coffee and starting to prepare food for our beach picnic/lunch later on. We've decided to spend the whole day on the beach or by the pool. And I don't really wanna climb up and down every time you need something, so I always prepare some food to take down there.
I forgot something in the bedroom, so I quietly go back there and accidentally wake up Travis.
"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up." I whisper.
"I was already awake. Come here." He pats the spot beside him and I come up, leaning down to kiss him. "Morning, beautiful." He mumbles into my lips before actually kissing me.
"Morning, handsome." I smile. He drags me down, I land on top of him, quietly squealing so I don't wake Ellie up.
"Ellie's not up yet, right?" He asks and I shake my head. "Good, I get to have you for myself for a few more minutes." I laugh as he cuddles up closer to me and we both just rest before we hear my daughter screaming for me.
"Sorry. I'll go get her."
"Wait." He takes my wrist, guiding me back. "Can I go?"
What?! "Ehh... Yeah, I guess." I say, in complete disbelief. I know he loves children but I didn't expect him to click with her like this and especially this quick.
He comes back, not even a minute later, with my daughter in his arms, with her clinging onto his neck. But immediately, when she sees me and he puts her on the bed, she crawls over to me.
"Good to know I am still the favorite." I laugh, snuggling her to my chest. "Good morning, baby." I mumble into her hair, a wild mess of blonde curls, just like I had when I was a kid.
Travis comes back to his original spot, sitting right behind me, with me leaving against his chest and Ellie on my lap. She looks up at him, those big blue eyes just staring at him until he does something silly again, making her laugh and hide her face in the crook of my neck. A few seconds later, I feel him leaning his head on mine, leaving a set of kisses there and it makes my heart sink, butterflies fly in my stomach.
I look down at my daughter, who is peacefully lying on my chest. "I can't believe she will be two in less than two months."
He can probably sense that I'm emotional and he squeezes my hand, letting me know he's there for me.
A few minutes later, we finally get out of bed, going downstairs.
"What do you want for breakfast?" I ask both Trav and Ellie as we walk into the kitchen.
"Would you make me that delicious French toast of yours?" He looks at me like it's the biggest thing he could ever ask me.
"Yeah. Definitely." I laugh at his face. "You want some French toast?" I look at my daughter in Travis' arms because he was the one who had to carry her downstairs and now doesn't even want him to put her down.
"F'ench toast!" She screams out.
Now, Travis and I both laugh. "Good that we're on the same page then. You wanna go to the living room with her and I'll prepare it in the meantime?"
"You don't want help?" He asks.
I shake my head, pecking his lips. "I appreciate it but I am good. You have three nieces, I think you'll handle her for 15 minutes." I divert my attention back to Ellie who is happily sitting in Travis' arms.
Not even 15 minutes after that, I'm walking with three plates of French toast, maple syrup and freshly cut fruit into the living room filled with the laughter of my daughter and it's the best sound ever.
When I finally see them, Travis is blowing raspberries on Ellie's bare stomach and she seems to think it's the funniest thing ever, laughing so hard I have probably ever heard her. I just stand in the door frame for a few seconds, taking it in.
Only in my wildest dream I could imagine that he would even stick around after I told him I had an almost 2 year old daughter. But here he is. Acting like the dad Ellie never had and being so, so good towards her.
We eat breakfast accompanied by some kids' show I've put on the TV to keep the little active girl sitting in one place for longer than 3 seconds.
"T'ant you, mama." Ellie puts her plate in my lap with still a little bit of the French toast left and slips off the couch, chasing Benji around the couch.
"I was gonna hop into the shower and change. Do you need some help with the plates?" He scoots closer to me, his thumb's caressing my kneecap.
I shake my head, taking all the dishes into my hands. "I'll be fine. Just gonna change into my swimsuit after you come back." I kiss his cheek before going to the kitchen to put the plates away.
Travis vanishes upstairs to get ready, take a shower and comes back down dressed in his swim trunks and a tank top not even half an hour later.
I am standing in front of a floor length mirror in my bedroom, just in my panties, watching my body in the reflection. My body has changed a lot since being pregnant, having Ellie. I love her more than anything in this world but...
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door and Travis' head appears in it a second after. I immediately reach for the t-shirt I took off and hide my upper body with it.
"Hey, your parents didn't teach you that after you knock, you have to wait for an answer?" I make a joke out of it, trying to hide the fact that he caught me in the middle of my most vulnerable moment.
"No." I'm still facing the mirror and see him walking closer. "You act like I didn't see you last night." He hugs me from behind, planting a kiss on the sweet spot behind my ear, gently tugging at the shirt I am covering my body with.
"Where's Ellie?" I try to wiggle out of his embrace but he's stronger than me and keeps me close.
He kisses me again, my cheek this time. "Next door, in her room, with Benjamin and Olivia. The gate by the door is closed." And this time, I wiggle out of his embrace, putting the t-shirt on before wrapping my arms around myself. "What's up?"
"Nothing, just... Just forget it."
"Tay... Did I do something wrong?"
Sometimes, you're so used to the stuff that your ex didn't like that you carry that on to your next relationship. For me, he didn't like seeing me naked around the house most of the time, aka when it was not for his own pleasure.
I feel like every girl is a little bit self-conscious about how her body looks, and how her hair looks, but it gets, like, 10 times worse when there is a spotlight on you, saying all of the things that are wrong about you, that don't suit you.
I've had an ED before, peaking in the 1989 era, and I think you never are 100% cured from that. I've gotten a lot better with self-love, love for my body, but when me and Joe started having problems in our relationship, it went south. I am not saying he ever told me I was ugly or fat but he didn't tell me that I looked good either. He didn't touch me. At all, sometimes. So getting all of the stuff I was so insecure about with myself in Travis and our relationship... I love it but I also feel like it will take some time to get used to it.
"No. It's just me, my problem. Don't worry about it." I brush it away, putting the t-shirt back over my head, hiding my bare body from him.
"Tay-"
"Could you please go get me the sunscreen? It should be somewhere in the kitchen." He just nods before leaving the room, head hung low.
I really wanna tell him, open up to him. I really do. I just don't want him to think how psycho I am, don't want him to leave, don't want to lose him.
I am finally in my swimsuits, deep purple/maroon colored with a black cover-up over it. Ellie has the cutest Frozen one-piece on. We both are covered in tons of sunscreen because, unfortunately, Ellie got a gift of my skin pattern that can burn in exactly 13 milliseconds under the sun.
"You sure you don't want some?" I say probably for the hundredth time, offering Travis the sunscreen.
"Yes, I'm sure. I am not gonna get sunburnt. It's not that hot out there."
"Okay, if you're sure." I laugh, knowing pretty well that he is, in fact, gonna get a sunburn but I refuse to fight with him. I know he's hard-headed, just as I am and when he gets something into his mind, you can't change it.
We spend the whole morning running around the beach or in the ocean. I can't get over the fact how good with Ellie Travis is. I am now sitting on a towel, sunbathing while Trav is with my daughter by the shore, trying to build sand castles. When he builds one, Ell is about to destroy it not even a minute later, both of them thinking it is the most hilarious thing ever.
They both come closer not even 10 minutes later, both covered in sand, Ellie in Travis' arms, head on his shoulder, yawning. "I'm pretty sure the princess here is ready for her nap." Trav says, sitting down right next to me.
"Yeah. Who wouldn't if they played this hard all morning, right sweetie?" I take her into my arms, kissing her sand filled hair. I decide to postpone her lunch after her nap when I see she fell asleep in my arms.
Travis is sitting right behind me, Ellie sleeping under the umbrella right next to us, and he's gently kissing my shoulder.
"Trav." I giggle when his mustache tickles me. "Can we be serious for a moment?" I say, getting out of his embrace and sitting face to face with him. I need to let him know this, give him an out if he wants one.
"Sure, what's up?" I'm looking down, at our interlocked fingers in my lap.
I take a deep breath before speaking. "I just want you to know I am giving you an out right now, if you want one. I know mom Taylor is probably not how you imagined your Sunday and Monday going."
He squeezes my hand. "Tay, I know you probably weren't assured in your past relationship and that he fucked you up bad but... I'm not looking for a one-night stand, you're not that. I really like you, I love Ellie." He says, his eyes glancing over at her sleeping peacefully. He takes my hand in both of his, kissing it. "I can really see my future with you." That makes me tear up and he takes me back into his arms, sitting me on his lap.
"I just want you to know that she will always be my number one priority." He thumbs my wet cheeks. "Gosh, I have been so emotional these past few weeks."
He chuckles, squeezing my hand. "That's how it should be. I would never want you to put me in front of your daughter... You've had it tough in life, I think you're allowed to be emotional whenever you want." He kisses my cheek and I melt into his embrace, enjoying the warmth and safety radiating off of his body.
We enjoy the rest of our afternoon on the beach, having late lunch/early dinner when Ellie wakes up, living in our own little bubble.
We go back to the house around 5pm, getting rid of the salt in the shower, later bathing Ellie before settling down in the living room in comfy clothes.
"You in the mood for some cookies?" I ask, Frozen II playing on the TV, Ellie watching it carefully, even though she's seen it at least a hundred times, with Meredith curled up in her lap.
"What?"
"I prepared the dough while you were in the shower." I smile, kissing him before disappearing into the kitchen.
I scoop little dough balls onto a baking sheet, putting them into the oven, setting an alarm before returning to my spot next to Travis.
We catch back into our conversation, not really paying attention to our surroundings.
"Where is Ellie?" I ask when I notice she's not sitting next to Trav anymore.
"I don't know, I thought she was in the kitchen with you."
"Ellie!" I shout, quickly getting up to start searching for her.
My daughter, though, walks out the kitchen a few seconds later, with the biggest smile on her face. And her face and pajamas covered in chocolate.
"Evelynn Marjorie Swift! Where did you get the chocolate?" I say, walking into the room. I see the chocolate chip chunks all over the floor, Meredith eating the rest of what Ellie didn't. "Meredith!" I take her into my arms, carrying her back into the living room.
"I guess it's bath time again." Travis laughs, holding Ellie in his hands, as far away from him as possible so he's not covered in half-melted chocolate too.
"Yeah. I guess." I sigh. "I need to clean it up first."
He hands me my daughter, kissing my forehead. "You go clean up Miss Ellie, I will clean up the kitchen."
"Thank you."
A/N: definitely wanna dedicate this chapter to Dannnyi45 who is my biggest inspiration in writing tayvis stories❤️
and also to alaemazzouji for just being the best. love you, girlie🩵
couldn't figure out the title of this chapter for like 2 days so sorry for the delay😭 hope this one fits the vibe
thank you all so much for over 20k reads on this book. i was so happy for my first 1k, can't believe we're here now🫶🏻
like always. i would appreciate any vote, comment or idea about what could happen in this story
love you, ell🤍