Annie gets out of the bathroom and hears Finnick clanging in the kitchen. "You always make so much noise," she says, laughing. He doesn't say anything. "What are you looking for?"
"I'm trying to figure out what to make. I've eaten mainly breakfast foods for the past three days and I need to break the trend."
"I can make you pasta."
"I can do it."
"Grilled cheese?"
"I can do it, Annie," he snaps.
"Okay," she says, taken aback by his tone. Was it something I said? She goes onto the couch and opens her laptop. She has a short story she has to work on, even though she'd much rather be working on her fan fiction. She hasn't updated in a few weeks and she's worried her readers will start to get frustrated with her.
He must have just taken a shower before she came home because he's wearing his sweatpants slung low again and he's shirtless, and his hair is sticking to his forehead. She can't tear her eyes off of him, the way the muscles in his back move when he reaches for the pan, the way his arms bulge out when he turns the dial on the stove, how evenly tan and smooth his skin is. She mentally slaps herself and turns her attention back to her laptop. She got so distracted that she hasn't even turned it on yet.
She turns on her laptop but then focuses her attention back to Finnick. He sprays the pan with the spray they bought and puts the grilled cheese in the pan. She tries not to stare at his back too much. She wonders if Kendall has a back like that. Probably not. He seems quite lanky and he's certainly paler than Finnick. Finnick is so beautiful that sometimes he doesn't even seem real. "You might want to flip that," Annie tells him. He doesn't answer. "Finn? You're going to burn it." She sees smoke begin to rise from the pan and he still doesn't say anything. Whatever. If he's going to be a child I'm not going to help him.
Finnick finally flips his grilled cheese and it's charred to a crisp. Whatever. I like it burnt. She can't tell me what to do. I bet her date doesn't burn his grilled cheese. He hears his phone vibrate. It's a text from Nat that says, You better eat that brownie from last week if you still have it. He could use some pot right now. He flips the grilled cheese and puts it on a plate, then sits on the counter to eat it.
Annie laughs. Finnick's grilled cheese is completely charred. "I like it like this," he says, before she can say anything. He finishes his grilled cheese and goes into the cabinet. Luckily, his brownie is still there. "Can I have this?" he asks, swinging the ziploc bag that contains the brownie in the air so she can see it.
"It's not mine."
"I know. I just want to make sure you're okay with me eating it."
"Why would I care? It's just a brown-" She stopped mid-word as the realization sets in. "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm fine. You're okay with it?"
"Yeah."
"I'm going to bed."
"Good night."
He replies by shutting his door.
***
Annie doesn't know what's gotten him so mad, so she texts Madge. Finnick is pissed at me and I don't know why.
When did you notice?
Tonight when I got home.
Was it because you didn't tell him you were going out and he completely freaked?
How did you know that?
He called me and I didn't answer and he called Jo and she didn't answer so he called Katniss. He was completely panicking.
Oh. Maybe it's that then. I didn't realize he was that upset.
What else did you say to him when you go home? Where were you anyway?
A guy at work asked me to dinner.
And you told him this?
Yeah.
Bingo.
No way.
Yes. I'm telling you. Finnick is completely jealous of you and this guy.
No, he's not.
How did you feel when he was with Angie?
Horrible, but that's different.
No, it isn't Annie. Don't be fucking dumb. You guys like each other but you're taking forever to admit it. So he's upset because he likes you and you went out with another guy.
I only went out with this guy because I'm falling for Finnick and I want to forget about him because we'll never happen.
Well, that's fucked up. Listen, I'll talk to you tomorrow. I have a paper to write, and if I know you, I know that you have something to do also.
Thanks.
Don't mention it. You need to tell me about this boy tomorrow. Don't forget!
Annie just laughs and goes back to her blank word document. Maybe Madge is right. Maybe Finnick is jealous. Maybe he does like her. So should she forget about Kendall and ask Finnick out? Or wait for him to make the first move? That could take forever like Madge said. Annie sighs and decides to at least try and start this story. She doesn't even have an idea for it yet.
His eyes are green. They're so green that they envy all of the forests I have ever seen. The trees would be jealous of him because they can never reach that shade of green. Annie groans. She can't even escape him while writing her story. It's late. I should sleep.
She turns off the lights in the apartment and gets under the covers. She closes her eyes and all she can see is green.
***
Finnick feels the high beginning to hit and him and eat the other half of the brownie. He pulls out his laptop and hopes he can get some work done. The weed calms him, especially when he eats it as opposed to smoking it. He just hates the way the smoke makes his lungs feel. Also, his foster mom smoked, and there are bad memories attached to that.
He hasn't talked to his foster mom in years. There was an incident between them when he was younger that he didn't fully understand until he was all grown up, and when he understood the gravity of the situation, he stopped talking to her.
He tries to push Annie and anything else stressful as far back into his head as possible. But no matter how hard he tries, he still thinks about her. He decides to do what he does best when a situation seems too tough; he makes a list. He pulls a notebook out of his night table drawer that he always uses when he wants to make a list. Lists just help him clear his head. He opens to a new page and writes on the top, Annie. Then underneath he makes a chart and writes pros on one side and cons on the other. He starts on the cons side first so he can tear himself down and then build himself up.
Guy at work, he writes. This is a valid excuse. She can actually be into him and start dating him and then he has no chance whatever what happens.
Too good for you, he writes underneath it. More of an opinion, but he feels like she's too good for him and that if they did date he wouldn't deserve her. She's nice and smart and kind and she deserves way better than a low-life druggie who's probably going nowhere in life.
Might not like you, he writes. He may have a reputation as a player, but if she doesn't like him, that's it. Since she went out with this guy, there's a good possibility that she doesn't even like him. If that's the truth, all hopes of dating her are down the drain.
She's your roommate, he writes. If they fight, where do they go? They have to live together. He could go to Nat's and she could go with the gang, but at the end of the day, they both pay the rent and both deserve to live there. It might make it harder when they fight.
Long distance, he writes. She's going to go home for breaks. If they get into a serious relationship are they going to be able to deal with being away from each other? He misses her sometimes when she goes to the grocery store.
Never been in a committed relationship, he writes. His longest relationship was a few months, and he doesn't think Annie's longest relationship lasted very long either. Would they be able to deal with a committed relationship?
In attempts to lighten his mood, he switches to the positive side. She would be a great girlfriend. That goes without saying. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's funny, and she's one of the few people he actually feels like he can vent to about things. He barely ever tells people about his childhood and where he came from, but he feels like he can share things with her. She's one of the first people he thinks actually likes him for him and not just for sex or his looks or his reputation. She sees past it and likes him for the Finnick he is inside. He's not a total jerk. He does that to protect himself and he does that because deep down he's so afraid people won't like him when he acts like the person he actually is. He drinks and does drugs and has all this sex so he can escape but also because he feels like the side of him who does that is the side that people like better. Annie likes the other side. The side who's had a tough childhood and makes lists and sleeps with his door open. He even thinks he'd be okay with telling her his big secret that he usually doesn't tell anyone. Maybe one day.
He finds himself writing She's my roommate again on the other side. They can sleep in the same bed. They don't have to leave the apartment to see each other. They can make pancakes together in the morning and watch movies together late at night. They can take showers together and have pillow fights and make dinner together.
This is different, he writes. Normally when he likes a girl he just wants to have sex with her. He wants to go to bed with her and then usually never see her again. With Annie, he doesn't really think about sex. He does sometimes, but he thinks more about buying groceries with her and braiding her hair and how green her eyes are and what her skin looks like when she wakes up and how cute she looks in his clothes. He thinks he could actually be falling in love with this girl.
***
"Tell me about him," Madge says, as soon as she sees Annie the next morning.
"He's nice."
She makes a yawning gesture. "You're not into him."
"I might be. We don't know each other too well yet."
"You've told me more about Finnick after spending five minutes with him in the kitchen than you did after spending a few hours with this guy."
"That's not true," she protests.
"Oh, Finnick!" Madge mimics. "His eyes are as green as the greenest meadows and his skin is so tan and he looks so good in sweatpants and we touched for five whole seconds yesterday but no I'm not in love. Not me. No way. I'm just going to date this guy that I know is totally wrong for me because I'm so insecure that I can't even see that Finnick is falling madly in love with me."
"Love is a strong word."
"He's in love you. Take this guy out for coffee and tell him 'Thanks, but no thanks.' "
"Fine. What should I do about Finnick?"
"Just ask him out or I swear to God, I will for you."
Annie takes her phone out to text Kendall. "Can't I just text Kendall instead of rejecting him in person? He might think this is another date."
"It is kind of a date."
"You make no sense." She texts Kendall anyway. Did you want to grab coffee today at 3? He texts back right away, Sure. (:
"I really don't want to do this."
"Do this so you can date Finnick. Think of it as a bumpy road to better things."
Annie rolls her eyes. "You're so corny."
***
"I'm really glad we decided to do this again," Kendall says, sitting down with his black coffee. She wonders how he drinks it. It must be so bitter.
"Me too," she says. Just say it. Just tell him. "We should do it again sometime."
That was the exact opposite of what you were supposed to do.
***
"I told him we should do it again sometime," Annie tells her.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Madge yells so loudly that Annie has to pull her phone away from her ear.
"I panicked! I didn't know what to say!"
"Anything but that! Annie, I love you but you're an idiot."
Annie gets to the apartment and opens the door. She's about to put her bag down but she hears a girl's voice coming from Finnick's bedroom.
"He's having sex," she says to Madge, trying to not let her voice crack.
"Oh, Annie."
She turns around and shuts the door behind her. "He must not care about me," she says. She feels like she's going to cry. She doesn't want to cry in public, but she wants even less to stay in that apartment while he's doing that with whoever is in there now.
"Annie, you're thinking irrationally. Come over and-"
"Maybe for once you're wrong, Madge. Maybe he doesn't like me and you're just giving me hope that he does while he's in there with some girl and I just can't take this." She's crying now.
"Do you want me to come and get you?" Madge asks, completely ignoring what her friend just said to her. She knows Annie says things she doesn't mean when she's upset.
"No, I can come."
Annie gets to her apartment and Madge hugs her. "I still think he likes you. I think you just need to have a talk with him."
"You know I'm horrible at talks."
"It needs to happen or you're just going to be stuck being completely miserable like this."
***
Annie goes home after a few hours because she doesn't have any of her things and also because Madge kicked her out so she can talk to Finnick. He's sitting on the couch and he just looks up at her when she walks in. "Did you walk in and then leave when I um..." he trails off and she just nods. "I'm sorry about last night. I was an ass."
"I wasn't much better." She sits down next to him.
"Listen, Annie, I really like you but I also don't know if us being in a relationship would be a good idea."
"Oh," Annie says, trying not to sound too disappointed. "Yeah, it's probably for the best. We're roommates. It could get messy..."
"Thou shalt not date your roommate am I right?" he laughs.
"Right," Annie lies. "Definitely."