Yuzuha and I were finally going to have our first sleepover together.
After the two of us met up in her house to finish our presentation -in which we aced thanks to Yuzuha being a mastermind-, the two of us met a bit more often. I had invited her to my house once or twice and I was invited to hers, too.
My dads were really happy to have Yuzuha come over and they were really fond of her. She was surprised to see that I was being raised by two dads instead of a father and a mother since I had never mentioned my parents to her and she even met my brother for the first time. Of course, just like everyone else, she was shocked to see how identical the two of us were. Yuzuha and H/n had finally met for their first time up close and Yuzuha seemed to really like my family and the bond we all had with each other. She even admitted that she was a bit jealous of it and I felt terrible thinking about her situation. Her mother and father were absent and she was not raised in a happy environment, but we pushed these thoughts aside by having fun, eating snacks and watching movies.
I had also visited her house a few times, too. Not for homework, this time. Of course, this game me the chance to see a bit more of Hakkai and even Taiju. Hakkai mostly shyed away in his room and Taiju... was doing his own things and mostly stayed away from us, but would occasionally check on us, just passing by, causing Yuzuha and I to stiffen and quiet down each time, expecting a scolding or something... But he would just glare at us for no reason, as if warning us about whatever rules I wasn't really aware of before leaving. Other than that, the two of us had fun and it seemed that both her brothers were tolerant over my presence in the house.
Yuzuha and I were watching a comedy movie in the living room, both sitting next to each other, legs crossed. We picked a movie that contained a lot of cringy and cliche romance scenes between the main character and his love interest, and we would find ourselves laughing and actually enjoying the movie.
We both got startled when we heard the sound of something breaking, out eyes widening and you smiles dropping as we looked over to the cause of the sound.
On the ground of a table a bit further from us were the pieces of a now broken pearly white and golden vase with flowers, now all over the floor. Upon staring at the shattered pieces all over the ground, my eyes followed the figure from his feet to his face, seeing the culprit of the accident, a terrified Hakkai, his blue eyes widened in pure fear, trembling and his lips parted.
There was pure silence for a moment, even the sound of the movie dying down and falling deaf upon our ears as we three remained frozen like that.
thud thud thud thud THUD THUD THUDTHUDTHUDTHUD--
The silence was interrupted by a pair of angry, thunderous steps coming closer and closer.
I felt my heart speed up in fear, worry and anxiety, while Yuzuha and Hakkai seemed even more terrified than I was, making me worry even harder.
"What is the meaning of this?!" We all flinched in fear at the angry voice of Taiju who was now standing in the living room, staring at all three of us with raging golden eyes, eyebrow twitching in pure irritation and a vein popping around his forehead, a deep scowl on his face. I noticed him tightening his fists.
His eyes looked down at the broken vase on the ground, making the black haired boy go even more berserk. His dangerous eyes glared at Hakkai. "Did you do this, Hakkai....?" He asked in a low tone, ready to snap. Hakkai was trembling in pure fear and growing teary, whimpering in fear, frozen on the spot.
"No!" Yuzuha jumped up from the couch, standing up and running between Taiju and Hakkai with a terrified gaze, her on fists tightening. "It-It was me!! It wasn't Hakkai!! I-I accidentally broke it, don't punish him!" Yuzuha tried desperately to cover her brother, making my eyes widen and frown.
.... Don't punish him.
Taiju remained silent and still for a moment, glaring down at his sister for a few terrifying moments of agonizing silence.
SMACK!
Before I could process what had just happened, Yuzuha cried out and had already fallen down on the ground, trembling with closed eyes and holding her now red cheek that Taiju had punched with a lot of force.
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open, holing myself from letting a sounds as I covered my mouth, terrified, scared and worried, left in pure shock at how violently Taiju punched his own little sister like that without holding any remorse for her in his raging amber eyes.
"Didn't I tell you to stop being a little liar, Yuzuha?!" Taiju roared at her, his tightened fists still raised a bit in the air, the veins on his wrist popping angrily. "How long will you keep on lying to cover up for our brother's faults?! He needs to learn how to accept the consequences of his actions... And if you decide to be such a brat, then I'll have to put both of you back in your places!" Taiju started angrily walking towards the two siblings, who were whimpering in fear and crawling a bit backwards.
My mind was blank and I felt like I had lost all control of my body. I barely even felt my body shooting upwards and running towards the three, throwing myself between Taiju and Yuzuha and Hakkai, making Taiju stop for a second.
I raised my hands outwards, as in an attempt to block Taiju and stop him, eyes trembling and my hart beating like crazy. "Please stop this.... Don't hurt them, please! They haven't done anything wrong!" I hated how my voice cracked as I did this, yet I felt a strong spark of determination run inside me the moment I looked at the two younger siblings' terrified looks. I could not bring myself to just let anyone hurt them, especially for such insignificant reasons.
Taiju paused and kept glaring in surprise and confusion, before his grimace hardened in irritation and anger. "You stay out of our family business! You are nothing more than a guest here, get out of my way!" Taiju yelled at me, walking towards me and using one of his hands to push me out of his way.
I knew Taiju was really strong, but the moment I felt his hand come in contact with my body, I felt my breath being knocked out of my lungs the moment I was thrown backwards on the ground, falling near the broken pieces of the vase on the ground, falling on my side and coughing a bit in pain, my eyes squinted and a bit teary. This push hurt a lot more than it should have.
Yuzuha cried out in shock at this and Hakkai's eyes widened and tears started falling down his cheeks, crying quietly.
Taiju glared down at me for a few seconds, before his gaze shifted back to his siblings. But before he could do anything... I cried out, "Why do you keep hurting them?" That earned a harsh glare from him towards me, one eyes more widened than the other as he gritted his teeth. "What have they done to you?" I kept crying, my voice breaking. "Why do you keep hurting Yuzuha and Hakkai? They've been nothing but nice to you... Why would you hurt them over an accident?" "SHUT UP!"
We all flinched at Taiju's thunderous voice, as he stormed towards me, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt and lifting me up to his level, making me terrified as he was so close to me, raising his fist. "You don't have a right to speak for my family!!" He yelled and threw me down on the ground angrily on my back, making me cry out. "You're not a part of my family!! I'm the one raising and providing for them and the least they can do is remain obedient to me! If I wasn't here, the whole family would crumple apart! You damn outside don't even have the right to even speak that way towards ME!" Taiju raised his fist towards me, ready to smack me as I was still on the ground. "And if an outsider like you refuses to accept that, then you will also have to face the consequen-"
"Taiju, stop!!!" Yuzuha cried out and threw herself to me, hugging me close as she started sobbing on my chest, using her body and back as a shield for me, making his eyes widen angrily and in shock at this. "Don't hurt her... Please, I'll do anything just stop... She doesn't deserve this, hurt me all you want but don't hurt her!!" Yuzuha sobbed.
The entire room was frozen, the sounds of my trembling breathing, Yuzuha's sobbing and Hakkai's whimpering filling the room. Hakkai was on his knees, looking at us with teary eyes, Taiju looking down at Yuzuha and I on the ground, holding each other as his fist was raised upwards.
"....." Taiju kept silent... Before he let hid fist soften and slowly fall down on his side. "..." His face was stern, cold and almost expressionless.
He finally turned his face and body away, his back now facing the three of us instead of his face. ".... I expect the mess to be cleaned within the next fifteen minutes. No single dust left on the ground." He spoke in a sudden low, almost calm voice, as if nothing had happened, his face turned away from us. "And no dinner for you three tonight." Taiju finally spoke quietly, before he left the room, leaving Hakkai trembling and whimpering on his knees, Yuzuha sobbing on my chest and me holding up my own cries, a few tears running down my terrified eyes as I just sat there and held her, while the credits of the forgotten movie still playing on the television were now rolling.
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Needless to say, our sleepover did not go as we had intended it would go.
Of course, that was not the issue here. It wasn't the fact that we didn't do night stuff like gossip, dress up, play with make-up or do our nails or do all those lovely things people usually do during sleepovers that made me feel so down.
When it was time to go to bed, I was cuddling with a crying Yuzuha in my arms, both under the covers of her bed, her apologizing and feeling terrible that I was there to witness all that and Taiju even behaved this way to me, and me feeling so much frustration and worry for Yuzuha and Hakkai.
It was unfortunately confirmed that Taiju was indeed abusive towards Yuzuha and Hakkai, which was something she tried to hide for me for a while but of course could not do so forever. Not when the signs were so clear.
I kept om wiping her tears during the night, comforting and hugging her, telling her that it was okay, that she was alright and I was also alright and unharmed and that none of this was her or Hakkai's fault. I kept comforting my friend and hugging her close, hearing her crying and sobbing die down to whimpers and hiccups, until she finally fell asleep with face red and eyes puffy filled with hot tears that I kept on wiping and wiping from her face. Poor her was so worried over me and sad... She felt terrible that her brother had hurt me.
It was around two in the morning... Yuzuha had fallen asleep from exhaustion, yet I could not fall asleep, feeling tired but also restless, my eyes also feeling dry and tired, the scenes of the chaos a few hours before replaying in my head. Taiju's yelling, his angered eyes, the terror in Yuzuha's and Hakkai's faces, their cries, the way Taiju pushed Yuzuha and I, the way he punched Yuzuha and his violent behavior was beyond terrifying. And to think that this was happening on a regular basis for his two terrified siblings...
I thought it was a miracle that he decided to stop and leave us be. It didn't matter to me that my stomach was empty and hurting. It didn't matter that he treated me shitly as a guest.. But why do this to his siblings? Why did they have to go through so much... Just for a small little accident as a vase breaking? What was so important about this object that was worth hurting your family for? I could not understand Taiju's behavior at all.
He could definitely outnumber Hakkai, Yuzuha and my strength, all combined with his own strength. If he decided that he wanted to beat us three together, I was sure as hell that he could and nothing would stop him. It was clear that he had hurt his siblings so many times already, not a single glimse or remorse or regret in his eyes with a single hit, or Yuzuha's and Hakkai's screams and cries. It was clear that he was much stronger than he looked and it showed, especially the looks on the two's faces when his footsteps were heard. They knew what was coming right before Taiju even showed up. They knew, because they have been through this before.
I stared down at Yuzuha that had finally fallen asleep and let out an exhausted exhale, really wondering and feeling terrible for Hakkai, who was probably alone in his room. i really wanted to check on him, but I doubted that he would even feel comfortable with me just showing up at his door, knocking on it and seeing what he was doing.
My throat was very dry everytime I swallowed and I really needed to drink water, but I had refrained myself from exiting Yuzuha's room and just sat there and comforted her for the past... Two hours or something, I was not exactly counting. But now that she was asleep, I decided to gently leave the bed, gently covering my friend with the blanket well to keep her warm and comforted during my few minutes of absence and really slowly made my way out of her room, praying that I would not somehow be unfortunate enough to see Taiju on my way. I would most likely cry.
The walk outside Yuzuha's room down the stairs to the kitchen felt like forever, each footstep I made increasing my anxiety and paranoia, fearing that I would see Taiju's yellow glowing eyes through the darkness glaring at me, ready to consume me alive slow and painfully, or fearing that he would jump from any possible corner to hit me and punch me just as hard as he did with Yuzuha and even make me bleed or break a nose or tooth.
As I walked through one of the living rooms that led to the kitchen, I found myself getting scared and my eyes widening in fear at the sight of another person sitting on the couch.
I felt myself exhale softly in relief when I noticed it was just poor Hakkai, curled up on the side of the couch, hugging his legs close to his chest and just looking really down, sad and also startled for a moment as he saw me. He probably had the same fear as me, that it would be Taiju, and I could sense his immediate relief when he saw it was just me instead.
I offered him a tiny, gentle and sad, remorseful smile that he never returned. After standing there for a moment, I extremely slowly walked to the kitchen and made as little noise as possible, grabbing two glasses from the counter and filling them with cool water. I quickly drank mine and slowly made my way close to the couch where Hakkai was sitting.
I could see him tense up all of a sudden, his gaze looking down, eyes a bit frowned and narrowed yet still big as he avoided my gaze. I placed the wet glass of water on the table in front of him just in case he needed some water, staining the table with a few drops of water as I slowly sat next to him and looked at him for a few moments.
"...." There was pure silence. He was not moving or speaking at all. "How are you feeling?" I really quietly whispered softly. "...." Still, no response. ".... can't sleep?" I sighed quietly, before I kept looking at him.
Even through the slight darkness of the room, I could still notice a few little scratches and wounds on Hakkai's face. A few scratches here and there around his forehead, cheeks, even one near his eyes. I couldn't tell how fresh or old they were.
".... hold on," I mumbled quietly before I slowly walked my way back to the kitchen and managed to search through some counters and finally find some bandaids inside one counter.
I walked back to Hakkai and sat down next to him and slowly reached close to his face and paused, looking at his face for signs of discomfort. ".... I'm just... gonna put these on... is that okay?" I asked quietly and looked at him, the young boy looking over the bandaid from the corner of his eyes. "..." He didn't respond but just sat there.
"..." I really gently touched his face and gently pressed the two bandaids that I could find over two small scratches, making him flinch a bit and his eyes widen. I didn't know whether it was from surprise, pain or if my hands were cold, but I apologized.
I then pulled away the moment I put the bandaids and stared at him in silence. I had do much I wanted to say to him, so much I wanted to tell him and comfort him like I did for Yuzuha, but the fear of Taiju hearing us from upstairs magically scared me... Plus, Hakkai already looked awkward and all of that.
I looked at his blue eyes that slowly grew a bit teary. I did not expect him to feel emotional all of a sudden and I felt terrible. ".... Do you... need a hug?" I questioned out of nowhere, although I mentally scolded myself for this. Yuzuha had told me that Hakkai was super awkward with girls and I didn't know how he was feeling.
"...." I noticed his lower lip quivering a bit as he looked over at me, eyebrows frowned softly. "...." There was no response from him, but his reaction already gave me the sign.
So, I extremely carefully pulled myself closer to him on the couch and really slowly hugged the boy, wrapping my hands around him and gently pulling him close, making his body lean towards me in a slightly awkward position that made his head lean a bit towards my chest.
I could feel how tense he was at my hug... But after a few seconds of me really slowly stroking his back gently and rubbing circles comfortingly, I could feel his body slowly let go of some tension... And I felt him slowly start to tremble and even heard him sniff a few times.
"There there..." I muttered quietly, closing my eyes and providing comfort for the abused, blue eyed boy that seemed too scared to even ask for comfort, care or protection. I could not see his face as I hugged him, but that was okay. "It's okay... You're okay, you're okay...." I muttered quietly, letting him quietly sniffle and cry silently in my arms.
This boy, along with his sister had gone through a lot for them to be this way. I could not help but care for Hakkai, not only because he was my beloved friend's younger brother, but he was a kid that clearly did not deserve any abuse and one that needed a lot of help along with my friend.
I was sure that Hakkai felt super awkward around me and I do not know what he felt about me, but I considered him a friend, too. I cared for him and I would happily comfort him and do whatever I could to help him. "You can open your heart to me anytime, Hakkai. It's okay..." I whispered quietly as I gently rubbed his head, "It's okay to let your feelings out, okay? I'm not a bad person, I'm not here to hurt you or scare you, okay? I'm a friend - I'm your friend..." I tried to speak to him as comfortingly as I could.
Hakkai was not a little child compared to me. We were more or less the same age. Maybe hardly a year or two difference between us, me either being a bit younger or elder than him, but that didn't mean I couldn't comfort him or that he couldn't cry around me.
"I care about Yuzuha and I care about you, too... It's okay if you speak about things... And let yourself be comfortable around me." I muttered soft words to him in my own attempts to make him feel comfortable and soothe him a bit. I didn't know if telling him that he could feel comfortable around me and open up to me would help, but I wanted to let him know that he and Yuzuha were not alone.
".... I'm sorry Taiju is hurting you." I muttered quietly. "It wasn't your fault - accidents happen. You and Yuzuha didn't deserve to be hurt or scared like that... I... I don't know why your brother is doing all this." I sighed, his crying calming down a bit, him still laying in my arms now completely after he let go.
I wanted to be careful with my words. I wanted to respect this household and some rules, as well as Taiju being the elder sibling and everything but... Abuse was abuse.
I even talked to Yuzuha previously, telling her that we could talk to the police or someone for help... But she immediately denied the idea. She said that despite everything, Taiju was still their brother, taking care of them and providing for them despite their age. And she said that if we talked to someone, then the three siblings would be taken away and most likely seperated. She said that she would lose both Hakkai and Taiju and that things would be very difficult. She mentioned that her beloved mother had passed away and that their father was mostly out of the picture, barely ever present and always away for work and stuff, causing the three kids to see their father maybe once in many months for a few minutes or hours at most, leaving all the work to Taiju.
There were serious issues going on. Child neglect, abuse...
Trying to think everything from Taiju's view, the thought of being a kid sound the age of thirteen to fourteen and taking care of your own two siblings without the help of a parent, especially when you were a child yourself was terrible and a lot of hard work...
Did Taiju even understand the harm he was causing and the consequences of violence?
Did he understand the physical and psychological issues he was causing by disciplining his siblings with fear, threats and abuse?
It was clear that Taiju would not listen. He would most likely not listen to me or to anyone. During that fight happening, even when I cried and begged him not to hurt them and that they did not deserve it, he only looked like all he wanted to do was kill me... And he could have done that, if it weren't for Yuzuha protecting me from him somehow changing his mind, thankfully.
But as much as I tried to tell Yuzuha to reach for help, she explained to me that issues that would follow after and how she would be forced to be taken away from home, Hakkai and even Taiju and that she could possible not see them for years or ever... Explaining things to me that made me understand her. After all, if someone is bonded with their family, it is difficult to leave them or be seperated from them no matter what or no matter how many fights we went through.
Not everything was always rosy in my family, either. We also had occasional fights and disagreements happen, but I could not imagine myself being seperated from H/n or Harry and Yuri.
Although... the Shiba's case was much more intense and troubled than a few occasional fights at home.
Despite the troubled family environment, Yuzuha still had a bond with her house and her siblings, even with Taiju, telling us that he had only started becoming violent right after their mother's death.
Part of me felt terrible over Taiju, too... After all, being the eldest kid, losing your mother at such age and being forced to take a very important role for two kids in the house while being a kid yourself seemed terrible. How did Taiju feel? How did he feel hurting his siblings, how did he feel when he lost his mother? How did he feel when he realized that his two younger siblings would be raised and forced to live without the mother they grew up with and when he realized he had to take the role of a parental figure to them? He was most likely- no... He was definitely facing a lot of issues on his own, too.
But unlike Yuzuha or Hakkai, I could not approach him.
"You stay out of our family business! You are nothing more than a guest here, get out of my way!"
How could I approach him when he was so violent like that and when I meant no importance to him? There was no way he would listen to another kid tell him anything about parenting or taking care of siblings when the situation was beyond hand. If anything, they needed the help of professionals, not from a random kid like me and I understood that he would never consider my words over anything.
I felt terrible for them three suffering this way -specially for Yuzuha and Hakkai, though.- . They were all victims in this, but I was sure the two younger siblings suffered the most... I did not doubt Taiju suffering. From what Yuzuha told me, he was nothing like that before their mother's death, and by that I could only understand that he was forced to resort in violence as a means of keeping things and his siblings 'under control'.... This was what I could make from this situation. But that do not mean that Yuzuha or Hakkai deserved any of the terrible abuse they were going through.
They didn't deserve any of the abuse being inflicted on them, and especially for silly reasons such as a vase breaking by accident.
Last time H/n or I caused such a minor accident, the worst thing that we faced was some mild scolding from you parents and that was that. No violence, no threats.
The saddest thing was that this family and my friends were suffering for longer than I thought and there was not really anyone protecting or standing up for them... They only had each other during these difficult moments and not even this was enough to protect them both. They just suffered together by Taiju's fists in silence, accepting everything from fear of losing their family and being taken away from each other and their house if they asked for help. The fear of not knowing where their future would lead them if theyasked for help made them prefer to suffer inside their household, where they were at least in their own house and rooms, where they were raised and growing up.
As much as I wanted to help them, I knew I was pretty much powerless.
It was clear that neither Yuzuha nor Hakkai were looking for help by the police or professionals for the reasons I had already mentioned. They feared their family being seperated more than the violence and abuse they had to go through.. And it was sad that they had to chose between two really difficult options.
I felt terribly for being unable to do anymore expect comfort and hold the two while they cried. Plus, I was also physically at a lot of disadvantages against Taiju and it was not like I could physically protect them from him, when I could not even protect myself.
Plus, it was not like I could forever remain in their house, watching out for Taiju like a hawk to prevent him from hurting these two.
The situation was so complicated and sad.
I felt myself tear up as well as I was thinking about all this, just holding Hakkai in the living room for a while, comforting him, speaking to him and softly caressing him, hoping to possibly relieve him from any pain and fear as much as I could. I was getting emotional and I tried to keep myself from crying any longer, especially since Hakkai had just started to calm down in my arms, letting himself feel more at easy in my embrace and arms gently caressing his back and head, making him relax as I whispered words of comfort to him. I kept comforting the youngest sibling, offering all my comfort to him and being lost in my own thoughts, thinking about how helpless the Shiba situation was and how I was too weak and powerless to do anything. And all that, while unknownst to the two of us that from the corner of a door, someone's back was pressed against the wall, listening and watching the two of us silently.
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NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE PUBLISHED ON: March 29th