It's easier to fight when your opponent is another person. But when the fight is between your heart and mind then you are gonna lose the either way. And you are gonna win the either way. Who is going to decide who was wrong and who was right?
Abhi was facing a very similar situation these days. He has decided to ignore that girl at every cost. But his eyes itched to see her once in a while.
He left as soon as she stepped out of his car. Just to prove to her that he doesn't want to spend any more time than needed with her. But he felt guilty for that the whole night. He should have waited till she entered her apartment safely. That was very irresponsible of him.
So he wanted to see her in the morning just to check that she was ok. Nothing more. And he did. He saw her coming out of the emergency room with Dr Dalmia. She was ok. He doesn't need to see her again.
But her face looked a little worried. So he decided to check on her again. Just to ensure she is ok. Nothing more. She has been his friend once. He can do that much. And he found her sitting with Dr Pooja in the canteen during lunchtime.
"Dr Abhimanyu!" Dr Pooja called as she saw him. He expected that. That's why he was standing there for the last five minutes.
"Hello, Dr Pooja," he smiled approaching them and taking a seat beside her in front of Aaradhya.
"Try this," she said offering her cheese sandwich towards him.
"It's cheese, Abhi," Aaradhya said as he was about to take a bite of it. He was not allergic to cheese. But he didn't like it. He felt nauseated after eating it. He would not admit that and argued every time on this but after vomiting several times in their college life he gave up on eating that weird thing.
"Oh!" he said keeping it back.
"What happened?" Pooja looked confused at them.
"I don't eat cheese," Abhi told her.
"Oh!" she said.
"How do you know about it?" she asked Aaradhya after a few seconds.
"I... He...I.." Aaradhya stammered.
"I told her yesterday when I dropped her," he told Pooja.
"Oh! Ok. I'll bring something else for you," she offered.
"No thanks. I'll take something myself," he declined the offer.
"No. You don't know the specialities of this canteen, yet. Let me introduce you. You allergic to any other thing?" she asked.
"No, I am not. And I am not allergic to cheese either. I just don't like it," he clarified. He could see Aaradhya smiling from the corner of his eyes. They always had a debate on this in the past.
"Ok. You are going to love the dish I am going to serve you then," she said quickly standing up and going towards the counter.
An awkward silence followed for the next two minutes. Aaradhya cleared her throat to gain his attention but failed.
"Abhi," she called softly.
No response.
"Abhi," she called again.
No response.
She was embarrassed now. He was truly determined to ignore her. But she decided to try one last time.
"Abhi,"
"I heard you the first time. Do you want to just repeat my name? Just speak whatever you want to, " he said in an irritated voice.
"Can we talk?" she asked gathering all her courage.
"And what exactly are we doing now?" he asked.
"Not here. Not like this. After hospital hours," she told him.
"No," he replied instantaneously. His mind won this time.
"Just for once. I'll leave after that."
"Our professional lives end with the hospital hours. And I don't want to do anything with you in our personal lives. So no," he replied again.
She did not say anything after that. She just got up and left. She expected him to be like this whenever they met again. But she was not prepared for this hurt. This was unbearable. She was not used to this version of Abhi. But she brought it up on herself. She is responsible for all this. And she has to bear with it.
Abhi sat there looking at her retreating figure. She was hurt, he should be satisfied. He wanted that, right? But why was his heart feeling heavy? He was so fucked up. How is he gonna handle all this?
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It was evening and Aaradhya's shift was over. She just wanted to get back to her apartment and sleep. She was not even hungry. She just wants to cry and sleep. That's what she has been doing for the past few days.
As she was impatiently waiting for her cab she saw something she could not believe. Abhi was standing in one secluded corner of the garden, away from the crowd, smoking. He never smoked. He hated it. And he knows how dangerous it can be.
Without thinking anything she just walked to him.
"What the hell!" he screamed when someone snatched the cigarette from his hand and threw it.
"Exactly Abhi! What the freaking hell?" she asked.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked.
"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? You are smoking? From when did you get such habits?" she asked.
"None of your business," he gritted.
"If you are angry with me, shout at me. Take all your anger out on me. Don't play with your health. You are a doctor Abhi. You know how dangerous it can be," she said.
"Angry with you? Why would I be angry with you? If anything I am grateful. People like you should be out of my life as soon as they enter. It took you three years and six months to leave," he said in a casual tone.
"Stop smoking. Is it a regular habit now?" she said focusing on the topic. His words hit her hard. She wanted to cry. But she can hold on to her plan of crying for the night till she gets home.
"Yes, it is. I smoke at least three times a day. Big deal?" he answered.
"Three times a day? In the hospital?" she asked terrified now.
"I said it once but for you, I'll repeat it. None of your business," he said turning to leave.
"It is my business. I am a doctor here. I cannot leave you to smoke on hospital premises," she said.
"I was smoking outside hospital premises, Dr Aaradhya Raghuvanshi. It's just that you cannot leave me at peace," he said in a formal tone.
"I am sorry for everything I did. I really am. And I don't want another chance. I know you deserve someone better. I hope you find someone better. I should have not ended everything like that. None of it was your fault. Sorry," she said in one go. This is the only time she can say this. She is sure approaching him again would be more difficult.
"Ok," he said.
"OK?" she asked shocked. She was ready for a heartbreaking, hurting, sarcastic reply.
"Yeah, ok," he said in a casual tone.
"Just ok?" she asked again.
"What do you want me to say? Just tell me, I'll say that. Just don't bother me after that," he said in a bored tone.
"Nothing. I deserve this," she gave him a weak smile trying to cover her teary eyes and turned to leave.
She cannot take this. Even if she deserves this, she cannot. This is just too much. Abhi is not even ready to listen to her apology. And she cannot blame him for it. Maybe it was a bad idea to come here.
Abhi stood there watching her leave. He wanted to say something to hurt her and he did that. But he was not able to handle the guilt after hurting her. It's better to avoid her if he don't want to hurt her. Because he is not aware how but every time he talks to her he says something to hurt her. And he don't want her to cry. Not because if him.
He saw her taking a cab and leaving. He decided to follow her. She must be crying because of him. He just needs to ensure she reaches safely. He was feeling like an asshole. He is an asshole. He is a shitty person. And throughout the ride he blamed himself and decided not to talk to her like that again.
He parked the car at some distance from her building. He saw her coming out of the cab. Her eyes were red. He felt his heart becoming more heavy. She paid the driver and went towards the her building. The watchman wished her and she gave him a smile. And then she took a few steps, stopped abruptly, held her head and fainted. The watchman rushed towards her and so did Abhi.
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Abhi brought her to the nearest hospital. First, he decided to take her to Sanjivani but it would have taken some time. Her pulse rate were normal and breathing was even. It must be because of weakness. And when her blood reports came, it was confirmed. She is still anaemic.
He entered her room and found her resting on the bed deep in her thoughts. He cleared his throat to gain her attention.
"You can leave. I have called Pooja," she told him.
She doesn't want to cause him any more problems than she already has. She has no idea how was she here with him. All she remembers is taking a cab and some blurry vision of coming out if it and fainting. She has no idea how he got there. She wanted to ask that. But she was afraid that he would say something that would hurt her and she could not take it any more. At least not now.
"Your blood reports," he told her forwarding the reports.
"Thanks," she said taking them and keeping them aside.
"You don't want to see them?" he asked.
"I will see them afterwards. You can leave," she said looking at her interlaced hands.
"You are still anaemic Aaradhya. How can you be so careless?" he asked in a calm voice.
No answer.
"I am talking to you. You are a doctor yourself. How are you gonna treat others if you'll be a patient yourself?" he asked again.
"I... I'll... manage," she mumbled.
"How exactly will you manage? Enlighten me please," he said sitting beside her bed on the chair.
"Just like you'll manage smoking and practice. I'll manage my health and practice," she said not looking at him.
A few minutes passed in silence. She could feel him staring at her but she did not had the courage to look at him.
"You can leave," she repeated after some more minutes.
"If I promise not to smoke, will you promise to take care of your health?" he asked ignoring her comment.
"You really smoke three times a day?" she asked.
"No. Just once in a while, " he told her sincerely.
"You won't smoke once in a while too, right?" she asked looking at him now.
"In one month if your haemoglobin count will be normal, then yes," he told her.
"And until then?" she asked.
"I'll not. I promise," he said.
"Ok," she mumbled.
They sat there in a comfortable silence for five minutes and then the door opened suddenly with Pooja and Trisha entering looking at her concerned.
"Oh god, girl! What happened?" Pooja asked.
"I'll leave now," Abhi said curtly giving her a last glance and leaving the room.
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Hope you like the chapter.