Ivyshadow woke up early the next morning, peacefully waking not from a nightmare but from a comforting dream. She yawned, stretching her sore muscles, her soft belly brushing the floor.
Acornstar lay in her corner of the den, sleeping peacefully with her two kits at her belly. She'd named the tom Elmkit, and the she-cat Honeykit. Ivyshadow watched them sleep, wondering what Honeykit and Elmkit would become. Deputies? Medicine Cats? Or perhaps like Ivyshadow, they would become loyal warriors and maybe parents of their own one day.
Ivyshadow's gaze shifted, landing on Snowfall. Winterthorn was curled up against her back, and her nearly grown kits lay in various places surrounding them. Northkit, the quiet thoughtful one. Icekit, the a-little-too-eager one. And Shadekit, her namesake, the determined, cheerful one. Ivyshadow smiled, knowing that they would all grow up to be good cats. She privately wished that she could be Shadekit's mentor, but knew that would be impossible.
Ivyshadow padded out of the den, breathing in the familiar scents of the camp. She was pleased to see Forestdapple joining Sunshine, Petalpaw and Daybreeze for Dawn Patrol.
Forestdapple waved his tail at her before disappearing out the camp entrance. Ivyshadow watched Petalpaw catch up with Sunshine, her eyes bright with excitement. Ivsyahdow felt a mix of emotions; longing? Joy? Guilt?
She paused at the prey pile before padding out of the den, noting that it was full. A sense of calm, of belonging washed over her as soon as she stepped into the forest, her forest. She felt her kits kick, and she smiled. I hope you love the forest as much as I do.
Ivyshadow caught scents of prey, herbs, the distant scent of honey, and even a whiff of pine. Ivyshadow closed her eyes, letting his scent wash over her. She missed him with every ounce of her being, and yet she knew, somehow, she could move on. She could keep tackling one day at a time, keep finding the small pleasures in life.
Ivyshadow padded through the forest, the trees casting dappled tapestries on the forest floor in front of her. A green leaf gently fell on her back, sliding off onto the ground. The buzzing of the nearby bees nest and the happy chirps of the bird's filled her ears.
Ivyshadow found herself walking with a purpose, and soon reached her destination. She came to a stop in front of a small clearing with several mounds of soil. Ivyshadow knew that Runningmouse's spirit wouldn't linger with his body, and yet... her paws had led her to his grave.
Ivyshadow leaned down to touch her nose to the soil, grief threatening to spill over again. All she wanted was to feel his fur against hers, to hear his cheesy lines, to smell his scent.
Ivyshadow leaned to the sick, plucking a daisy out of the ground with her teeth. She set the flower on top of his grave and took a step back, a feeling of finality settling over her. He was dead. She would always miss him, always love him. But she would be okay.
○○○
It was only a week later when Ivyshadow had her first contraction. It wasn't painful yet, but a deep instinct told her what it was. Her kits were coming.
Ivyshadow's paws began to move of their own accord, dragging the moss closer to her. She got up to pick up the feathers she'd been collecting for this very day, adding them to the corners of her nest.
Even after pampering and fluffing her nest for the better part of 30 minutes, she wasn't satisfied. Walking was quickly becoming uncomfortable, and she finally decided to go to Birchfall.
She padded out of the nursery quietly, not wanting to arouse suspicion, and found him sharing tongues with Winterthorn under the Leader's Stump.
"Birchtail? Could I see you for a second?"
Winterthorn glanced up, his eyes wideneding in understanding. "Snowfall!" He called, and his mate glanced over, her sharp eyes gauging the situation quickly.
Birchtail nodded, "go back to your nest. You will want to move around to gather more moss, but resist the urge. Rest is what you need right now." His voice sounded sure and confident, calming Ivyshadow.
She walked easily back to the den, ignoring Snowfall's attempts to support her. "I'm fine, Snowfall, really I'm-" she broke off in a strained yelp of pain. So Larktail hadn't been exaggerating, Ivysahdow thought grimly. She stumbled into her nest, grateful for the soft feathers.
Birchtail entered the den shortly after, shoving herbs her way. "These will all ease with the pain and the delivery."
Ivyshadow glanced at them, disinterested, "I'm not hungry."
"Yes, you are. That's your instincts talking. Eat the herbs." Snowfall meowed, leaning around Birchtial to nudge them closer.
Birchtail placed his paw on her belly pressing gently. "I'm not sure how many kits - less than four, I think."
"Thank the Rising Star," Ivyshadow hissed. The pain was already becoming unbearable. She felt panic flutter inside her, remembering Acornstar's unbreathing body.
"I'll go get the sticks," Snowfall hurried out of the den.
"You'll be okay Ivy, just breathe," Birchtail whispered.
"Don't call me that," Ivyshadow snapped, pain blurring her judgement.
Birchtail blinked, then nodded, "I won't. You'll be okay, Ivyshadow. I've helped plenty of queens."
Ivyshadow bit her tongue to keep from saying anything else, but then immediately regretted it as she tasted blood. For the first time Ivyshadow understood why queens always needed sticks as Snowfall shoved one in front of her. She bit down ot the stick with all her strength, some of her pain traveling to the fragile peace of wood.
"Keep going, keep- there!"
The pain faded to the background of her mind as she felt a small creature kick at the back of her hind leg. She dropped the stick instantly, leaning over to the thing.
Her mind knew what to do, licking and cleaning the kit from its birth sac efficiently. It let out a small mew, a helpless sound. Ivyshadow felt a ripple move through her, her whole body affected by the sound. She pulled the kit close to her, a purr rumbling in her throat. She began to lick him again as He moved feebly against her fur, letting out another mew. He had tan fur, and his tiny toes were a bright white. "Like his father," Ivyshadow whispered, "my little Sparrowkit."
And that was his name. Sparrowkit nestled deeper into her fur, latching on to her. Ivyshadow felt a bond like she'd never felt before flow between her and the sweet, tiny kit.
Sparrowkit.
Her son.
His son.
Then the pain struck her again, like an adder in a nursery. Her eyes watered and she picked up the stick, biting down. "I... thought... I... was... done!" she hissed.
Birchtail smiled, "not yet. Hold in there."
Ivyshadow tried her best to glare at him, but the pain was taking all of her energy. She arched her back to keep from crushing Sparrowkit, and his resulting squeal wrenched her heart.
Then it happened again. She felt another movement by her leg, and this time Birchtail eased the squirming sac close enough for her to reach. She disposed of the sac quickly, licking her second kit vigorously. A sense of wonder washed over her as her daughter let out a squeal. How was it possible that she could love them both? A moment ago she'd loved Sparrowkit more than anything else, and now there was this new bundle of fur that she felt the same raging love towards. Her daughter had Ivyshadow's own sliver pelt. "So you're Swiftkit," Ivyshadow meowed, gathering the silver kit closer, "It's lovely to meet you."
A pur rumbled in her throat again, and she rested her head on the nest, exhausted. "Am I done yet?"
Birchtail felt her stomach again, and shook his head sympathetically. "You still have one more."
The concept of yet another kit was so buzzard in her pain fogged mind. What did she do to deserve all of this? "Runningmouse, you should be here to meet them," Ivyshadow said out loud.
Birchtail offered an awkward nod, "umm, you might want to start pushing again. I'm sorry, Ivyshadow."
Snowfall licked Ivyshadow's forehead, giving her the strength to sit up again. The pain hit her once again like a brick to the face. She let out a yowl, her eyes watering. It seemed like forever until the final kit lay in front of her.
Ivyshadow leaned down to clear the sac, licking him clean. He didn't cry like the others, but reached his feeble head up to bump Ivyshadow's nose. Her heart melted at the sight of his tiny claws and folded ears. "Branchkit, after my mother," she whispered, nudging him closer to her. He looked like Willowbranch, with his darker gray tabby fur.
"They're beautiful, Ivy!" Snowfall cooed. She didn't invade Ivyshadow's bubble, which Ivyshadow appreciated.
"Aren't they?" Ivysahdow asked, staring down at the perfect little bundles at her belly. Sparrowkit, Branchkit, and Swiftkit. Two toms and a she-cat.
"You did great, Ivyshadow." Birchtail dipped his head respectfully, "let me know if you experience any symptoms Snowfall doesn't recognize.
Ivyshadow registered that he was offended at something, but she didn't care. She leaned down to lick Swiftkit's head lovingly. The pain was all worth it, just for the one moment, just for a single second with her kits. Our kits, Runningmouse. What do you think of them?
She felt his comforting heartbeat, and his pelt against hers, You did an amazing job, Ivy. She pressed herself against the whisper of his fur, a purr rumbling in her throat.
I love you, Runningmouse.
I love you, Ivyshadow.
THE END