Kezia has never felt more uncomfortable, she was watching John's ceremony, for some reason Grace had been invited and was standing beside her, and then not even a minute later Polly had arrived with Ada and Bea. She was now stood in between Grace and Beatrice and she felt very tense. Her discomfort was distracting her from the fact that Ada was there, at a family event.
Johnny Dog was completing the mixing of the families blood, slicing into both John and his new wife's hands.
"You were so insistent on asking about your sister yet you still haven't even looked at her," Bea whispers, and instinctively Kez turns her head and looks down at her, her eyes then flicking to Ada who was beside Bea, staring forward at the ceremony.
"She's focused on the wedding, it's not like she's looked at me either," Kezia responds quietly.
"You're a fool if you think you weren't the first person she looked for when she arrived," Beatrice says in a hushed tone.
Kezia doesn't respond, turning her attention back to John and Esmé who were sharing their first kiss as a married couple whilst the audience erupts in hoots and applauses, Kez joining in by slowly clapping her hands.
Once the noise quietens down and the crowd disperses a little to start drinking and partying, Ada steps out of line, coming to stand in front of her older sister, "hey, Kez," she smiles.
Kezia stares down at her for a moment, before opening her arms up to embrace her little sister, "you haven't been eating properly. You're pregnant, for fucks sake."
"It's lovely to see you too," Ada remarks, sinking into her sisters embrace, "you were right, it's not all candy and rainbows."
"You said candy and rainbows?" Bea laughs, quieting down when both sisters look at her, "right, private conversation, not the time, I'll go fetch some drinks."
"What's happened, Ada?" Kez asks.
"We're broke, Fred's annoyed, always calls me a fucking Shelby even though I'm a Thorne now," Ada scoffs.
"Is that why you haven't been eating? You don't have money?" Kezia queries, "fucking hell, Ada, you should have come to me, you're carrying a child, you need to take better care of yourself, and Freddie needs to get his head out of his arse and take better care of you aswell."
"Can we not talk about Freddie? I know your views, and I don't want to think about him today," Ada pleads, "I'm with you, I'm with Bea and Pol, I just want to enjoy myself."
"Okay," Kez agrees, placing a kiss on her sisters temple, "I don't bring it up today. But you best believe we're talking about this tomorrow, even if I have to visit Freddie's shoebox of an apartment."
"What did we just agree, Kez?" Ada sighs.
"You're right, I'm sorry," Kezia says.
"How've you been? Pol says you've been acting weird," Ada states.
"Pol won't understand," Kez replies, "no one will, and I can't tell you."
"I'm your sister," Ada responds, "if nobody understands you, Kez, you know I will do my hardest too. Lay it on me, what are you dealing with?"
"There's a woman, Ada," Kez admits.
"That's great," Ada smiles.
"No, no it's not. She's scared. She's scared to be with me, scared to admit she loves me," Kezia says, "scared of what could happen to her, I've told her there's nothing I wouldn't do to keep her safe, but it's no use."
"Are you in love with her? Is it the woman that left the tie?" Ada questions.
"No, it's not that woman, I fucked up with that," Kezia says, "when she told me she couldn't love me, I got very very drunk and made a mistake by sleeping with the woman who left the tie, which by the way was Grace."
"You slept with Grace?" Ada whispers, and Kez nods, "I regret it, it never should have happened."
"You still haven't answered my question," Ada points out, "...are you in love with her?"
"Yes," Kezia states, "every night I think of her, and I think to myself 'how the fuck did it go so wrong? How the fuck have I ended up in this position?' I don't like it, Ada, I'm not used to it... it makes me feel so fucking pathetic that I'm hung up on somebody who can't even admit how she feels about me. She's told me to move on... I mean we sort of mutually agreed to move on."
"You know who you should talk to? Bea, she's going through something similar, she's going through a bad break up, and she's seeing a new man, perhaps you could speak to her, get some advice on how to move on, how to find someone new," Ada suggests.
It was like a dagger to Kez's heart, like someone was repeatedly stabbing her heart. It hurt, it really fucking hurt. Bea was seeing someone new?
"I... I didn't know that," Kez mumbles.
"Maybe if you weren't being an arse to her she'd talk to you about things like this," Ada responds, "she can't always come to me recently, you'll take care of her when I'm not around, won't you?"
"Course I will, anyone that matters to you, matters to me," Kez replies.
"She's more than just my friend to this family, Kez, we've all known her for two decades," Ada scolds, "stop making it seem like she's a stranger. You should care because you spent every day with us during the war."
"You're right, once again, I'm sorry," Kezia says, as Bea reappears with two drinks in her hands, "is the private conversation over?"
"Yes," Ada nods.
"Right, I got a whiskey for Kez," Bea smiles, handing her the cup.
"What about me?" Ada asks.
"You're pregnant," Bea states.
"Oh, come on," Ada complains.
"She's right, Ada," Kezia says, "shouldn't drink when you're pregnant, thanks Bea."
"You two get on my nerves sometimes," Ada groans, to which Kez shrugs and downs the glass of whiskey, "I'm going to get a refill."
-
"I still haven't seen you dance," Grace comments, approaching Kez, who was leant against a wall, hidden behind one of the wagons, "you said a few drinks would do it, but it didn't the other night."
"I had more than just a few the other night," Kezia laughs.
"So there's an optimum amount of drinks that'll get you dancing?" Grace hums.
"Let's go with that," Kez nods.
"There's something different about you tonight," Grace says, resting her hand on Kez's arm, "is everything okay?"
"Yeah, no, I'm fine," Kez replies, straightening herself up, pushing herself off the wall she'd been leaning on.
"I was surprised I was invited today, was that your doing?" Grace asks.
"No," Kez shakes her head, "everyone that works for us is here."
"I work for you?" Grace teases, "could have told me."
Kezia knew this was wrong, but damn it she was hurting, Bea was already seeing someone new. Bea had told her to move on, Bea had told her to try things with Grace. Bea had made it clear there was no future between them.
"Working for me has its benefits, you know?" Kezia says, turning slightly so Grace was between her and the wall.
"Does it now? What sort of benefits, Miss Shelby?" Grace whispers, the hand that had been resting on Kez's arm was now pressed against her stomach, "are they benefits I've already experienced?"
"The benefits are a lot better when I'm not plastered out of my mind," Kez says.
"Then I'm very much interested," Grace states.
"A little eager, aren't we, Grace?" Kezia asks, brushing a strand of the blonde hair behind her ear, resting her hand there.
"Oh I'm always ready to please my sexy boss," Grace teases, "even if she does whore me out."
"Don't go pretending like you don't enjoy being treated like a whore," Kez laughs, caressing Graces jaw, tilting it up slightly, "isn't that true, Grace?"
"Treat me however you fucking want to, just kiss me already," Grace says, practically pleading with Kez, who was more than willing to oblige, leaning down to brush her lips against Graces, one hand on Graces cheek, the other on her waist, as Grace claws at Kez's shirt pulling her closer.
Kez trails her hand down from Graces jaw to her neck, softly choking her, laughing when Grace moans against her lips, her hands untucking Kez's shirt so she could run her hands over Kez's torso.
"Kez, we need to go," Bea states, "Ada's waters just broken. People have been looking all over for you."
Kezia pulls away from Grace, turning to look at Bea, whose eyes were flickering between her and the blonde, "we need to go, Grace, you should probably go to the pub, the men will want to wet the baby's head, I can't go, I've got to help Ada. Hurry up, Kez, your sister is about to have a baby. Tommys said Freddie can come, Finns off to go get him."
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Kez says, jogging after Bea whilst tucking her shirt in.