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Chapter 98.
{ If you haven't read the chapter above this one,num 97, 'Fat Rambo' , I'd recommend doing so! Reads have been pretty low but I know that's probably down to people starting school again }
⚠️ Talk of death & grieving. Drug mention.
11467 words<3
Clearly, we grieve the person we lost.
What many don't understand is
that is only part of it.
We grieve what we had and all we shared.
We grieve all the important
things they have missed
and will miss.
We grieve the future we were
supposed to have together.
This list goes on. Grief is complicated.
..........
Things had been going well, busy work wise for you both but for now, quiet and pretty uneventful, thankfully, But you knew it was only a matter of time for things to hit the fan again, it was like a rough routine you'd got used to, feeling somewhat normal was never a permanent feeling anymore, it never stayed and you hardly felt like yourself, it had been a long time since you had.
You just didn't expect things to go the way like they were soon...or even the events that were about to unfold, it was all unprepared.
Greeneyes who now had a proper name, Odila (oh-dee-lah) which comes from old German and French (Odile, Oh-Deel) origin, meaning fortunate in battle & female heroine, was officially part of the family.
Eddie had taken her to the vets the very next day, getting her a full heath check and a proper bath and comb, all smelling clean and her coat was no longer dirty from 'battling the scary outdoors' as Eddie had said, which is how he came up with her name in the first place.
She was deflead, wormed and all that, apart from being skinny she was a healthy little cat, and as you both thought, she was just a baby, the vets put her at around a year old despite how little she actually looked which was probably down to her not getting enough food or most likely not enough milk from her mother, she also got her injections, indoor cats still needed those, and Eddie was directed into the best quality cat food with complete nutrients that she needed to help her grow, he already knew that giving cats milk was a No-No as most cats are lactose intolerant so giving them cow's milk can actually cause significant health issues.
He got her a little collar, toys, litter box, a proper food and water dish, one for wet food and the other for her biscuits and set it up just outside the kitchen when he got back home, she quickly learnt that that was were she got fed her breakfast, lunch, dinner and a little supper.
She made herself at home rather fast after her trip to the vet, her favourite spot to sit was Eddie's armchair when he wasn't in it, when he was she liked to curl up on the back of it, or in his lap, the sofa, or on your bed, letting her on furniture didn't bother you both now as she had been cleaned and treated,
(That would still need to be done regularly and kept maintained of course)
It was her house now too, and she was comfortable and confident "patrolling" the entire place, having a snoop about and finding different spots to nap.
Odila had been part of the family for almost three weeks now, when you and Eddie had to leave for work in the mornings she got used to being alone in only a couple days, she was probably used to that though as she spent a long time outdoors, she was well behaved and such a precious thing to come home too.
Eddie was getting a couple extra hours at the auto shop so Steve was the drive home after your shift at FV was over at 5, he hung out for a bit saying Hiy's to Odila who was a hit with all of your friends (the kids, Steve & Robin) she was such a friendly creature and had gotten used to Steve dropping you home whenever Eddie wasn't able to pick you up after his own shift was over.
You had to distract her with a tiny treat when Steve left and slipped out of the door, making sure to lock up after he'd left but keeping the chain off so Eddie was able to unlock it himself, he was expected home in around two hours.
-----Eddie's POV-----
Two more hours and then freedom, don't get me wrong I enjoy workin here, but laying on these damn plastic boards are killin my back, but whenever I can get a couple extra paid hours...I take it, for the money but also givin Kent extra help around the shop.
"Ed..."
Kent calls out, getting my attention as I glide out from under the truck I was doing a final check on, he'd called out for me right as I was finishing with it.
"Yeeah, what's up...?"
I ask cleaning my hands on my overalls and staying laid on the back breaker as he walks over,
"Mind putting this one on hold and checking what he wants...I've got to make a warehouse call"
Kent asked nodding over to a cop car that had just pulled up, lifting my head up off the board to get a better look.
It wasn't out of the ordinary for us to get cops into the shop for vehicle work, they didn't get charged for it personally, it all ran through the station, but whatever job that was being worked on just before they turn up, has to be put on hold, it was the law that they get seen and dealt with first and back out there as soon as possible no matter how far into another client we were, not sure it it's the same for other places, or if it was just some Hawkins law.
"Yeah...I've got it, I'll go see what he wants, finished with this one anyway, just gotta write her up but I'll do that after~"
I respond a little strained in my voice as I pull myself up off the board, stretching my back a bit before heading over just as the cop was getting out of the car, brown hat being put onto his head when he stood up straight, he looked familiar...fat Rambo.
"...Hopper right? What can I do for you?"
I say once I get close enough he could hear me clearly, giving me a tight lipped smile and closing his door,
"Ed...*Gives me a nod* I uh, ran over something... burst a tyre, right front one"
He explained, I didn't know how to feel that he remembered my name, most likely due to who my father was, brilliant.
I follow behind him as he walks around the car to check out the damage, crouching by the popped tyre to get a better look,
"....Damn, it's blown, what did you run over?"
I ask reaching behind to pull out my thick mechanic gloves before I shove my hand inside the rubber, don't really fancy getting another gash or stab if whatever he'd gone over was still in there somewhere.
"Haven't a clue, could be anything around here..."
He says folding his arms and standing just a few feet away giving me space, he wasn't wrong though...could've been a glass bottle, a nail, I've seen stones burst tyres before.
"Been working here long?"
He added as he watched while I feel around the tyre, whatever caused it wasn't lodged inside.
"...Yeah, been here a while, started as a summer thing before grad, then Kent took me on full time..."
I explain standing back up, Hopper gave me one of those sort of impressed nods.
"Whatever caused it isn't stuck inside, so I'm not sure how it happened but I can get it changed for you now...be about 10 minutes, can you drive her up a bit more, I need the Jack"
I ask rubbing my forehead with the back of my gloved hand,
"Sure, just inside yeah?"
I nod and direct him into the spot I need the car in to start working on it right away, having him pull up inside the shop as I drag the jack over, it's used to lift the car from the side, mainly used for jobs like this but it was a big chunk of fuckin metal that's pretty stiff when being cranked up.
Also Wheeling over the tool box that had the other stuff I needed for the job, like a wrench for removing the wheel bolts, Wheel chock that stops the car from rolling when jacked up, if not in some auto shop then bricks are used to do the same job, I've done that a few times before, and a wheel bolt key to get the locking bolts on and off.
"10 minutes did you say?"
He asks once he was out of the car again allowing me to get it lifted off the ground with the jack, then locked in place with the chock.
"Yeah, is that alright?"
I ask unsure if that was too long or not, I know he's still on the job which is the whole reason why we put everything else on hold when cops roll in.
"All good just pretty fast that's all, impressive..."
He says and wheeled a chair over to take a seat,
"...Don't mind do you?"
Hopper asks standing by the chair he pulled over, I shake my head and crouch again to take off the bolts,
"No...guessing you've no other place to be"
I say, not minding being watched, it happens almost daily with clients staying at the shop, others head off elsewhere and just come back.
"I do not...ment to still be on duty, take your time though...I don't mind the break"
He joked and I laugh so things aren't silently awkward, though it was genuinely kinda funny, getting the bolts off by hand with the wrench and wiggling the tyre off.
I was working in silence for a couple minutes, the only noise coming from the small portable radio not far from where I was working on the car, tomorrow's weather predictions being said over the channel.
"....I could tell from the other day that, he was a touchy subject to bring up but, you don't look much like Al, your father..."
Hopper says breaking the silence, my gaze on the new tyre I'd just rolled over had like...unfocused, like a camera lens, it had gone blury just for a second as I focused on what he said instead, I had a feelin it was only a matter of time before the 'well known for no good reason Al Munson' was mentioned again by none other than a cop, it made me clench my jaw slightly.
"Cheers, I'll take that as a complement."
I huffed, being 100% serious, while getting back to my job.
It was odd though, what he'd said... because I've wondered a few times who I look like more, I think everyone does at some point, what parents features you took after... in my situation though, it was not remembering what my mom even looked like, I can't picture her face, I've no strong memories of her, but when it comes to...my dad, that's who everyone relates me too, a big handful of the time it's like I'm not even my own person or seen as an individual, it's "Al's boy" or "Al Munson's kid" and those titles make me physically sick, I'm written up to be JUST like him, like I'm some carbon copy and even live up to his well knows bad reputation around this fuckin town, which is just a criminal...
But, the intrigued? part of me wanted to know a bit more, despite how I feel about my dad, so I mentally gritted my teeth and added to the oh so fascinating topic of Al Munson,
"....So, you knew him pretty well then"
I ask, still in the middle of the job and only glancing to Jim for a second before my focus was back on the tyre, still didn't fancy getting my hand jammed so I was paying close attention.
He took a rather deep inhale like he was preparing to tell me his life's story,
"I'd say so, yeah...well I mean, I did go to school with him, that's when he actually showed up though, I was a year above him...*Clears his throat* When I got this job, as an officer, one of the first cases assigned to me was to do with Al...years rolled by, he was...
still is, popular with us lot, I didn't even know he had a son till a few weeks ago... so, finding out about you was a shock, wasn't quick to jump on you being just like him, because I could tell you aren't, hell your working at a pretty decent place for starters...that man couldn't keep a paper round job if it was given to him...plus, you seem like you're on your feet... apartment and all, while Al's jumping from prison beds."
Jim says, a big part of me wished it had stayed like that...that he didn't know Al had a son, that's how much I don't want to be compared to him.
He made me laugh slightly again at the last thing he said about jumping from prison beds, he hadn't had a proper roof over his head for years.
Then...the other things he'd said, about me not looking much like him, and that he can tell I'm NOT like him...that was nice to hear, I haven't heard that from someone who wasn't my uncle...or yn, or her mom, and having it said to me by a cop? Now that had to be some Munson record, right?
Then it sort of came to me...if Jim knew HIM, then he must've known my mom...they met around school, so I've heard from old stories.
"....What about, my mom...you go to school with her also?"
I question and Jim slowly nodded heavily, arms folded back over his chest and sitting ontop of his...now I'll be nice here and watch my words because he actually seems like a chill man....sitting ontop of his SLIGHT gut.
"Elizabeth, I did....I never got what she saw in Al, maybe it was that so called bad boy reputation he had as a teen *He shrugged* always knew she could've done better, guess at the time she didn't really quite know what she was getting herself into...he didn't grow out of it, it just got worse"
He explained, now sorry but that sounded like he possibly, might've, most likelyyyy...had a crush on my mom, a bit of jealousy perhaps, I couldn't disagree with that though, even if I didn't know her well, she could've done way better.
I was just about done with the job, tightening up the bolts on the brand new tyre, the old one laid to the side for the scrap, when what Jim says next knocked the air out of me...like a gasp was forced from my lungs as if someone was squeezing the fuckin life outta me...everythin stopped.
"I didn't know Elizabeth that well, as well as I'd of liked...she was rather quiet, smart...depsite her relationship with Al she actually turned up to school, she was focused on classes, got good grades....I'm sorry about her passing"
He said that with genuine condolences, I could tell by his tone...yet, he said it so firmly? As if I had already heard that from several other people and that I must be annoyed hearing it now or something, but I hadn't, so hearing that my mom was...was dead, was a massive fuckin shock, so much so that the wrench I was still using slipped off the bolt and slammed against the metal rim, echoing the garage.
"....W-What did you say?....she's, my mom's...she's dead?"
I say in complete shock and disbelief, she can't be...
Jim's brows slowly raised as if he'd just said something he maybe shouldn't of, but really he was just as shocked as I was now.
"....I, you, you didn't know?? Al didn't say a word to you??"
He says and now he sounded like a cop again, like he was questioning me on shit, and it quickly started to piss me off but I tried keeping that hidden,
"No, I didn't know, I had no fuckin idea...He said nothin to me...I, she's...How? When??"
I push for more answers, my body had sat me on the floor now, felt more like gravity alone, not just the shock, had pulled me down onto my ass and wanted to drag me right through the earths core, I could feel the force of my body just sinking, collapsing in on itself, I'd never felt anything like it.
Jim cleared his throat again, this time more louder and shifted in the chair, hands now on his knees after taking his hat off.
"....Apparent overdose, back in 93, she was found in her home up in Fortville, by Al...of all people...I thought you'd of known, I...I'm sorry to of been the one to tell you, kid, really"
It was just getting fuckin worse...none of this made sense, not a single thing he was sayin made any sense...My mom was an addict?? That's what killed her, an overdose?? And, she'd died when I was just getting done with highschool?? Around the time I was about to graduate?? To fuckin top it all off though, she'd apparently only been four hours away the whole time in FORTVILLE??
"W-What, what do you, appa-apparent overdose?
*Clears my own throat now* what do y-you mean apparent? What's that mean?? Do you not know how she died or somethin?, why'd you say apparent, and she, she hasn't been in Fortville the whole time..."
I don't even know if that came out clear or not, the earth had stopped spinning, my ears felt like they were about to pop, I quickly became real sweaty and clammy...she couldn't of been that close, why didn't she come see me if she was??
"....There was clear signs of, drug usage,littered around her body, and...in her system, I say apparent only because Elizabeth never seemed the type to...get involved in that, she was...closed off back in school, but then again...she got deeply involved with Al, and even years before she'd died, he was known to have connections with people, with drugs and dealing them... smuggling them. It had always felt, off...to me, how she was found hense why I said apparent, but that's just my own feeling, one man's word against a
judge, an entire court room filled with people, my word against all the cops in Hawkins station... everyone felt so strongly that she'd taken her own life, that Al had nothing to do with it, and...
*He sighs* I've been told thousands of times that he didn't have anything to do with it, there was not enough evidence, little to none apparently, so, when he was brought in for questioning,
he was released hours later without any further charges on THAT case, he wasn't released by me...I wasn't one of the cops who got called that night, to her home...and honestly? I'm glad about that, I was only assigned a small part of the questioning, and to look through the collected evidence and take notes"
He was speaking to me like an adult, I respected that, but to no control of my own my hearing kept dipping out, I missed a couple words that he'd said because of it...I didn't know what to say, or how to even process all of what I could hear him say, what I did get from it though was that HE didn't think my mom killed herself, that alone was already imbedid into my brain, he didn't believe that's what had happened...it was SO fuckin clear that's what he thought, FUCK... did my dad do it?? Did he drug her up and get her so fuckin high he killed her??! That wouldn't...SHOULDN'T, even be classed as suicide for fuck sakes!! Not even assisted suicide...! That's straight up just fuckin MURDER.
I've never felt so clueless in my life, I didn't know what to say or how to respond to all that, I had so many things running through my head that I just couldn't make sense of, I was trying but I just couldn't, all I managed to say next was one word,
"...F-Fortville...?"
Which was a slightly bigger town than Hawkins, not by much, I'd not been but I knew about it, I'd had a few clients from there stopping on their way through, I knew that it was 3 or 4 hours away...My mom was that close this whole time and I had no fuckin idea, she never wrote to me, or called, or came to see me...I would've looked for her but I literally didn't know where to start, no one knew where she was...I-I had no one to ask, and...wait, surely Wayne didn't know all this, right? He'd of told me...he'd of told me where she was and when she died, HOW she died, right?? He would've??
"She'd lived there for some time, to my knowledge Fortville was the only place she actually got a house and stayed put, rooted...Al was there on and off too, but he never stays put in one place too long, he can't...unless he wants to get caught.
It's, it's also where she's uh...where she was laid to rest, Fortville cemetery...it's about 3 and a half hours away by car, but if you take the night bus it's two extra hours because of stops...I'm sorry kid, really I am, you should've been told sooner-"
Jim tells me, and that last bit made me huff a barely there laugh, not an amused one that's for sure,
"Yeah...you'd think wouldn't you, but hey 3, 4 years later is not a big deal right"
I sarcastically responded with, slightly snappy, kneeling by the wheel now as I check the last bolt was tight enough, the one the wrench slipped from right when this bomb was dropped on me, before standing up, throwing the wrench down onto the tool tray making a loud and heavy clunk, I still had that feeling in my chest, and my feet felt real heavy like they were magnets dragging across the floor.
I was working slightly frantic now... what was ment to be a 10 minute tyre change job, turned into 20, my shift was over soon and all I could think about was my uncle, if he knew, and If he did and didn't bother telling me...
I lower the jack and bring it out from under the side of the car once it was back down on four wheels, then dragged out the wheel chock now that it didn't need to be stopping the car from rolling over,
"Your done...I just need to-to get the uh, the papers from my boss for you to sign aaand take one back to the station, they'll handle the cost and,and have it sent to us in a few days"
I explain as quick but clearly as I could, about to turn and walk off to get his papers when he stopped me,
"Kid..."
He calls out, he couldn't see as my back was to him but I squeezed my eyes tight, stopped walking and turned to face him again, he looked really sorry, maybe even a little concerned.
Jim could tell that I was in shock from hearing that, he felt bad for being the one to tell me, and tell me years later...I'd been Wondering about my mom a lot, I held nothing against her, not even when she left to get away from Al, sure I questioned why she didn't take me too, but I didn't even know her THAT well to have any hate towards her, not really, I didn't even have that many memories...I don't even know what she looked like...the only memory I do have was around 3 years old, dancing on her feet to her records in the livingroom...then everything caught fire and I was all alone.
Jim shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped a bit closer,
"Look I...I've this...evidence box of things that belonged to your mother, but they were taken off Al when he was brought in for questioning... I've had it since...well, that night, and kept it thinking Al would come and collect his stuff, but he never did, which was no surprise considering he'd have to come into the police station to get it all...So as he hasn't come for the things, you can have them... if you wanted, I'd say it's all more belongings, than...than evidence but I had to class it as that, but really it's just...stuff of no use to us anymore...if you'd like them I can take them out of the box and drop them by sometime tonight, after my shift..."
(Jim had the box with him, he had to bring it from New York to Hawkins when he was assigned here again only because Hawkins was Al's old stomping ground, and he was technically still a wanted man for multiple accounts of GTA so if there was a chance Al was here when Hopper was, he needed the box to back himself up evidence wise, but the belongings inside the box had no use to Jim anymore, which is why he'd offered to drop them off to Eddie sometime tonight, if he wanted them.)
I wasn't expecting that, it made my chest tighten again.
"...I, I can have them? *Jim nodded* alright... yeah uh, I'll, I'll...take them then, thanks...cheers, great...cool, um, papers~"
I was a stuttering mess now from all that, quickly turning back around and almost bolting it towards the office to get Hopper the papers he needed to sign, they were both the same we just needed to keep a copy ourself, before he left the shop he said that he'd drop off this...bag, after his shift was over in three hours.
I wasn't heading straight home, not back to the apartment anyway, I needed to see my uncle...the more I thought about it all, about all that I'd learnt from Hopper, the angrier it was making me, and the more confused I was becoming.
Once my shift was over I don't remember clocking out, or even walking to my van and getting in, and now here I was staring into the road as I drove towards Forest Hill trailer park, knuckles going yellow at how tight my grip was...this didn't feel right, why wasn't I told?
Those questions still screwing with my head
'Why didn't Wayne tell me?' 'Did he know??'
I knew the way to the trailer park blindfolded, as soon as I parked outfront, rather aggresively without even realising, I jumped out and headed up to my uncles trailer, letting myself in and startling Wayne a bit as he wasn't expecting visitors so his head snapped around from the sofa.
"....Son? Wasn't expecting you till next week"
He spoke just watching me come over and sit on the sofa rather fidgety.
I didn't say a word, which was unusual for me.
I used to act like this as a teenager sure, but not for a long time.
For the time being Wayne didn't question it, figured I would talk to him in my own time, and go from there, But I was fuming, just the idea that this might've been kept from me was pissing me off.
I was staring at my hands, fiddling with my rings and getting more pissed off by the second, pissed off and confused, and couldn't hold back anymore knowing that Wayne wouldn't push me to talk, I'd have to on my own grounds.
Still staring at my hands, fiddling
"Did you know?"
I ask still keeping my gaze off him, Wayne's attention came off the show he was watching and looked to me, a slight confused expression...
"Know what??"
He questioned, leaning over to set his empty mug down before laying back against the sofa again.
I huffed out unamused,
"She's fucking dead did you know Wayne??!"
I said rather loudly, not even saying a name, just referring to this person as 'Her' which had Wayne extra confused and now worried, his first thought went right to yn and his heart almost fell out his ass.
Wayne was just as shocked to hear that like I was when Hopper told me, slowly leaning forwards in his armchair, he'd gone pale in the face.
(He knew Elizabeth, more than what Hopper did, but he hadn't spoken or heard from her in a very long time, but to Wayne...She was just as bad at abandoning Eddie like his brother did, though he wasn't a fit father, sure his mother wasn't abusive, all that came from Al, Wayne's brother, but to Wayne Elizabeth abandoned her son, and he held that against her, but he was also a forgiving man when it was right for him to be, so if she'd ever happen to come back into town and explain herself...and have a good enough reason as to why she left Eddie in the dangerous hands or Al, he might, MIGHT, forgive her, but he wouldn't forget.)
"Wait.. who? YN? Boy did YN-"
He started, panicking looking like he could have a heart attack,
"What?! No she's fine she's alive I'm talking about my fuckin mom Wayne. She's been dead for three years and she lived four fuckin hours away, did you know?!"
"The hell did you hear that from boy?? No I didn't fuckin know...! You think if I did I would've told you??!"
"I don't know Wayne...! Right now no, I don't think you would've fuckin told me my mom's dead, it doesn't add up...! That officer, Jim stopped at the shop, HE told me, I had to find out from a cop my fuckin mom's dead??!"
I've never been one to handle my emotions very well, my uncle knew that.
"Boy, I had no idea about you mother I haven’t heard from her since the day she left, and I certainly wouldn't have kept her passing from you, you must be out of your damn mind if you think I would've!"
He says firmly with a frown on his face, one I hadn't seen in some time, I shook my head frantically and shot up off the sofa, arms over my head as I paced around a bit.
"She's gone, DEAD, and you had no idea?!? I find out three years later that she fuckin died in 83??! She was four fuckin hours away man!! FOUR HOURS AWAY AND I HAD NO IDEA, why didn't she come find me??! Why didn't she call or-or-or call YOU!!? She didn't bother coming to find me??! WHY, why'd she not come...?!"
I asked, it was hard for me to keep my voice from shaking and breaking as I got choked up, I was so confused, lost, hurt...
"I don't know son...And I'm so sorry...that she didn't call you that she wasn't around when she was that close by...and that she's gone.
But I didn't know a DAMN thing. Not fucking one."
Wayne added just as I'd crossed both my arms over my eyes, the pain I was feeling was like nothing I'd felt before, my mom was so close by the whole time...and she didn't look for me?
I had a chance if only I knew where she was this whole time, I wanted to know her more, I wanted that relationship with a parent, with my mom, and now she was gone and it happened in one of the most saddest ways, it didn't feel right though.
(Eddie has never been one to express his emotions, he's the type to bottle it up, and when he feels like this its hard for him to cope with it, in a way he was like Wayne...tough as nails, hated crying, hated letting people see him so vulnerable.)
"....She...She was s-so close...She didn't look ff-for me...? I don't understand, I wouldn't of been mad a-at her...Why didn't she look for me"
I spoke in such a broken wobbly tone it even made Wayne's heart clench, this was the first time he'd seen me crumbling over my parents, I had none other than him.
"She's dead...mm-my mom's dead and I didn't g-get to tell her I w-wasn't angry..."
"Son..."
He said softly, his voice lowering in a way that felt like being embraced and it made me want to crumble completely, not just from the news but how he just spoke to me.
"I-I'm sorry... I-I just...she's dead Wayne...s-she died and never came for me...w-why didn't she come for me...?"
I sounded like I was begging him for answers, answers he didn't have, to a question I hadn't asked more than once as a kid, which was the first birthday I had after my mom went away.
(His chest felt so tight, from his heart shattering feeling that abandonment kick in again because his mom didn't bother finding him, he hadn't felt like that since she walked out on him, and then all the times his dad would leave him alone in the house growing up before Wayne won full custody, yes... He had his uncle, but only on and off till he was 12 and became Eddie's legal guardian after he almost died at his dad's hands, but before winning with the courts Eddie spent his childhood in fear, running away from his dad, not in a stable living situation and ending up either at his uncles or your house which was much closer than Forest Hill, he also had your parents growing up, but it was different when neither of his own bio parents seemed to of wanted him.)
Wayne got up from his armchair and came to stand infront of me, I was still pacing about a bit, breathing all over the place about to put myself in a state of panic,
"Son...hey, hey look at me..."
Wayne says taking hold of my face in both his hands, giving it a slight shake to get my attention,
"I know it's rough, but breathe... yeah?
I swear to you, son, that I didn't know your mom had passed, I haven't heard from her since you were a kid, if I did I'd of told you...just like I'd of told you she'd died if I knew myself...I wouldn't keep that from you Ed, I swear it...I'm so fuckin sorry you found out like this, and that she was close by and you never knew....I don't know why she didn't get in contact, I wish I fuckin knew...I wish I had answers to all your questions son but I don't..."
Wayne cleared up, holding my face in his hands like that made something just crumble in me.
(He was still just a little boy who needed his parents and never had them be there for him)
and that's when the tears started flooding, slipping down my cheeks, soaking them and Wayne's palms as he kept strong eye contact even while my vision grew blurry, until I just let myself sob infront of him.
"C'mon son...come here..."
Wayne spoke softly, holding the back of my head and bringing me in for a hug, letting me cry into his shoulder while the only main parent I've ever had did his best to comfort me while my body shook as I sobbed.
"Shh-she didn't want to fi-ind me..."
I cried hooking an arm under Wayne's and gripping at his shoulder,
"I don't know the reasons why she didn't come home, son...I'm so sorry, I wish I could give answers, I wish I knew....I got you kid, dad's got you..."
(It was all built up emotions and feelings, cries from when he was just a boy all confused as to why people who were ment to love and protect him...left him with no explanation, cries for someone who should've saved him and took him along when they left all those years ago, and cries for someone who didn't bother finding him again and,someone who's now gone and he'll never get the chance to tell them that he wasn't mad, that he forgave them.
He never asked about his mom because it was a sensitive topic at times, but he also didn't ask because he didn't know know her, he didn't know where to start, no one knew where she was and maybe that's what she wanted, to be hidden even from her son.
Maybe she though he'd of turned out like Al and that's why she didn't bother...That was a thought which was now eating away at Eddie, what if his mom ended up getting scared and worried when the years went by and Eddie grew up that Al raised Eddie to me just like him, a criminal, some abusive pig...)
----Yn----
Eddie had told you he was working a few extra hours this morning before you both headed out together, but time was getting on and he wasn't home yet...
It wasn't unusual for him to be a bit late, he'd been late finishing before because he was making sure Kent was alright, he'd told you that just so you wouldn't send out a search party if he was half hour or so behind schedule, Kent was still struggling every day with his arthritis and appreciated the help at the end of the workday checking the garage before locking up for the night, he was getting old, man was older than Wayne, so Eddie didn't want to leave Kent alone in an environment with heavy tools and things incase he fell or worse, despite how experienced kent was in the mechanic field, his health was deteriorating and there was no hiding that.
Sure you were a little worried, always were when he was working overtime, but you waited it out a bit longer, watching tv with the company of Odila purring right beside you on the sofa.
Around 13 minutes had gone by since you last checked the time when there was a knock at the door, confused as Eddie had his own key, unless he'd misplaced it...
Thinking it was him you got up and walked over to let him in, not before double checking through the peephole which had become a habbit you always did no matter what, expecting to see Eddie standing outside waiting to be let in...but it wasn't him who was standing there, it was that officer, Hopper, and your heart rate immediately started to pick up...Eddie was late coming home, he wasn't home the time he usually is even if he was running behind he always got home near enough the same time, 8:13.
You both had always had the mind to call eachother if one of you was going to be more late than usual, just so that you wouldn't worry the other, but he hadn't called from work either, was Hopper here because something had happened...?
Taking a deep breath, one that felt like a dagger going down your throat, you pulled the door open having to hold onto it for support because Eddie wasn't home and having a cop at your front door was massively unsettling, it made you feel nauseous.
"...O-Officer Hopper"
You manage you say a little nervously, he gave you a smile, but one that was...rather, greeting? It wasn't like a sad smile or one that showed he had some kind of bad news,
"Sorry to drop by this late, I promised Eddie I'd drop off some stuff for him..."
He explained pulling out a brown bag from his rather bit jacket pocket, you looked at it a little confused but reached a hand between the door to take it from him when he held it out.
"Oh...okay, I'll um, give it to him, when he's home... is, is everything alright? With Eddie I mean, I'm just~"
You ask apprehensively till Hopper lightly cut you off,
"Just weary about cops,especially cops around him? Yeah...I could see that the first time I stopped by, but don't worry...he's not the Munson I have to keep an eye out for"
He says which was...nice to hear, especially from someone like him, a cop, which never happened.
You were still worried about Eddie though, even if Hopper wasn't here to drop bad news thank god.
"...Have you, seen him recently, or today? He's been at work since 8 in the morning..."
You ask, just to maybe get a bit more information as to why he was here dropping off whatever was in the bag for Eddie when he'd never met him before, you set the brown bag down on the shoebench and slipped out of the door to stand outside with him, not wanting all the warm air to escape or possibly Odila but she'd not been showing any signs she was wanting anything to do with the outside world anymore, so you left it cracked open a little while you spoke outside, wrapping your arms around your chest for warmth.
"I did, today actually...at the auto shop, I came in with a flat tyre, we got talking...so he's not back yet no? Has he called?"
Hopper questioned which made you worry all over again especially when he asked if he called, why would he ask that?
You shook your head squeezing your arms tighter around yourself,
"No, he's not back yet...He picked up some overtime tonight, why...? Did he say he was going to call?"
Hopper shifted on his feet, in a way that said there possibly was something else, something he hadn't mentioned.
He folded his arms now too, unsure if he should be the one to say or leave Eddie to do it, but...seeing as you were clearly worried, he finally spoke again,
"...At the auto shop we got talking, and, Al was talked about for a bit, and then Elizabeth...his mom, who,who died, three years ago, I dropped that bomb by saying that I'm sorry about her passing, thinking he knew already, I thought he would've considering it's his mom, but...that wasn't the case."
He explained and just as he did, you swore your heart stopped for a moment, his mom was...dead? You never knew Elizabeth, never saw her, you met Eddie around 5 years old in the playground and she left when he was around 3...so pretty close to when you met him, he had spoken about her a few times, but he hadn't in ages but that was because it was a sensitive topic, both his parents were, and now it was all quickly making sense as to why he wasn't home yet...
"She...she's-really?? Shit...I, he's not home, he should've been home almost an hour ago, he's doing overtime but it's usually only two hours and he's back here almost always around 8:13, earlier if he's not doing anything extra for his b-...I know where he is..."
Hopefully Hopper caught all that, it came out rather quick spoken as you panic slightly out of worry for where Eddie could possibly be, he'd just learnt his mom had died...you needed to see him, and his whereabouts hit you like an obvious 'OF COURSE'
"Is there anything else? Sorry I...I need to go find him, I need to make a call, I'll give him that bag...Thank you officer~"
You splutter, just as Hopper shook his head 'no' to there being nothing else, you spun around almost smacking right into the door before quickly going back inside and running right for the phone hung up on the wall by the kitchen.
"...Pick up pick up...Pleeease Wayneeee....damn it"
Shoving the phone back on the wall when there was no answer, you had a good strong feeling that Eddie went to his uncles right after work, right after being told that about his mom, but as Wayne hadn't answered you decided to make your own way there, putting something warmer on first though so you booked it into the bedroom and grabbed the first hoodie you laid eyes on in the closet, shoving it over your head and frantically putting your arms through.
Shoes were by the door so after the hoodie was on you moved fast to put those on also, using the wall to lean again, nothing was going through your mind BUT seeing Eddie and knowing he was okay...safe.
You were working on the laces of your last shoe when the door opened, making you almost leap out of your skin as you forgot to lock it back up when you came inside after talking with Hopper.
"....Eddie"
Was all you said when you saw him step inside, his cheeks were red, just like his eyes, his face had no light in it, he didn't smile like he always did when his eyes met yours as soon as he was home...
"...You forgot to lock the door"
He said in a small tone, one that sounded raw as if he'd hurt his throat from yelling, or even crying...or both.
He closed the door and looked down to your shoes, which is where his eyes stayed, unable to look at you in the face, it broke your heart.
"I-I know I was about to head over to, to Way-"
Getting stopped by Eddie's face scrunching up before he lifted both his hands up to sob into them, you said nothing else, you just got over to him fast and pulled him into a hug which he wanted as he wrapped a tight arm around your shoulders.
It was hard NOT to get upset too seeing him this way, squeezing your eyes tightly shut forced a couple silent tears to roll down your cheeks, you could feel the weight of his body leaning into you as you hugged him, he'd clearly already tired himself out from crying at Wayne's...but it was also the physical pain that can make your body heavy, unable to hold yourself up right, so you did your best to support him without toppling over.
Couldn't even begin to imagine how he must be feeling, what must be going around in his head,
"M-my mom...shhe's she..."
He tried telling you but he couldn't find the strength to actually get those words out again,
"I know...I know Eddie, you don't need to say it again, I know...It's Okay, I'm so sorry"
You tell him softly, keeping your voice as strong as possible knowing he needed you right now, it would be very difficult if the both of you were a puddle of tears, keeping a gentle yet protective hand on the back of his neck while he lets himself sob, this time in your embrace that he needed just as much as he did with his Uncle.
He was still holding onto you even after his cries had turned into smaller hiccuped ones, sniffling as he slowly breaks the hold so he could dry his face on the bottom of his shirt, letting him do so before you gently cup his face in both of your hands making him look at you, giving him a small soft smile, one that hurt for him of course but also one that was a silent 'I'm right here for you'
"...How d-do you know?"
He asked sniffing a couple more times trying to calm himself enough that he could speak and be understood,
"That officer stopped by not that long ago, not long after you got back actually....and, he explained. He um, he came to drop off a small bag for you...?"
As you tell him that, his eyes seemed to of widened just a little in a sort of enthusiastic kind of way,
"Where is it? Did he leave it...?"
He asked looking around a bit, but not in the direction of the bag sitting ontop of the shoebench, you just nodded and pointed to it, making him turn around and reach down to pick it up,
"....What is it?"
You question, not wanting to sound overly nosey, watching him take the bag over to the sofa...Odila making a sweet 'muuur' at him as he took a seat beside her, bag on the coffee table so he could give her a couple scratches as she stretched and walked into his lap, happily sitting herself down in that spot.
"Some stuff that belonged to my mom, I think.
It was taken off my dad when they took him in for questioning the night she...that night."
He tells you while looking down at Odila in his lap, still giving her some love as she purred up at him while getting her little head scratched, you make your way over and take a seat beside him.
"Would you like me to leave you be...? While you look?"
Only asking incase there was a chance he'd want to look through the things alone, he'd lost his mom, sometimes people who're grieving want to be left alone for a bit, given some time.
He shook his head no,
"...Apparently he didn't collect the-the stuff afterwards, I don't think he could be bothered to go get them myself but *He shrugged* Hopper's had them this whole time in some box that he had to bring down with him from New York, some evidence, files and shit they have on Al, he's had almost four years to pick the stuff up and he hasn't, so, they're mine now, whatever they are"
He explained smiling a little at Odila who was now resting her head on his forearm, she'd gone back asleep all warm and curled up in dad's lap, he was ignoring the bag sat infront of him on the coffee table.
Now that he had the things he was nervous to look inside, rubbing his hand against his knee before he looks up at you,
"...Could you do me a favour"
He asks with slight pleading eyes, you could never say no to those eyes, just this time they broke your heart instead of melting it.
"Course, anything"
You reply with a reassuring smile, waiting for him to continue and elaborate on what he wanted,
"Could you...could you, open the bag...and look? I-I don't know if I can, If I don't now then I'll just keep putting it off and...if it all belonged to my mom then, I don't want it in some bag anymore, it's already been in there long enough, I'm just, nervous"
He admitted dropping his eyes from yours and looking down at Odila instead, seeking comfort from her now too, he couldn't see the soft smile you gave him at that request, course you'd do that for him, It made sense for him to be nervous amongst everything else.
"Course I can...we can do it together yeah?"
He took a deep breath and nodded at that, so you gave his knee a squeeze and reached for the brown bag sat infront of him on the coffee table, placing it between the both of you when you made a little room.
It felt pretty light which you noticed when Hopper handed it over, looking to Eddie first to see if he was ready or maybe having second thoughts, but he just gave you a small smile, one that didn't reach his eyes which wasn't a surprise.
You returned the smile and started unfolding the top of the bag that had been folded over a few times, without peeking into it you just decided to pull out whatever your hand touched first, it felt like a small box, thin cardboard perhaps,
Taking it out first and revealing that it was a cigarette box, it had been opened as the plastic seal was pulled off,
"...Pall Mall cigarettes"
You say when you noticed Eddie a little hesitant to look, but he managed it and looked at your hand holding the box,
"...She liked Pall Malls?"
He asked gently taking the box from you, rubbing his thumb over the top before opening them up finding that it was almost a full pack, maybe three or four had been smoked.
These weren't Eddie's brand, he was a Marlboro man, bringing them up to his nose,
"Still smell fresh, I didn't know she smoked...then again, I don't really know much"
He gave them one last smell, lingering the box by his nose for a couple seconds, then closed them back up, keeping them beside him and looking to the bag again, he was a bit more eager to know what else was inside now.
"I smelt them when you opened it, does that mean they still might be good?"
You asked just trying to make light conversation, not wanting to rush with the things, he was most definitely grieving, in pain, confused and had so many questions he probably will never get any answers too.
"Maybe..."
He replied twitching a tiny smile in the corner of his lips, he was still looking at the bag so you didn't make him wait any longer, feeling for the next thing...your fingertips brushed against something cold, metal...thin, hooking it up with your fingers.
"Oh...that's prettyyy"
You were first to say when pulling out the thin silver chain with a pretty oval charm on the end, scooping the charm up with your other hand so it laid in your palm, bringing it a bit closer to look at it, it had small flower indents decorating it, tiny tiny detail...
Holding it closer to Eddie who reached over and gently took the charm from your hand, rubbing his thumb over it and catching him smile a little more,
"Beautiful right?....good taste"
Giving him a little nudge making him laugh a bit, nodding at what you said and sniffling again so you laid your head against his shoulder while he looked at the necklace,
"...Wanna wear it?"
You say sweetly, thinking that would bring him some comfort, you knew he didn't care that it looked feminine,
"I can't, it's broken"
He says back looking at the clasps of the necklace, it was snapped in half...as if it hadn't been taken off properly, like it was yanked from the neck which was just heartbreaking if you think about it.
You'd not noticed the broken clasp, holding the chain to take a look,
"...I'm sure it can be easily fixed, hm? I think I even have a spare clasp you can have for it, silver so it'll match...from some old necklace in my jewelery box, I lost the charm ages ago so, it's no use to me now...we'll fix it later yeah?"
You offer holding your other hand against the necklace Eddie had made you for Christmas, with the pretty agate stone he found while swimming when you went on a short road trip with Robin and Steve, he'd beautifully wire wrapped it and admitted he'd never done something like it before which surprised you, so changing a small clasp on a necklace would be no problem for him.
"Yeah...I-I'd like that, thank you, is that everything?"
"Umm...I don't, think so..."
You say as your hand checks inside the bag again, feeling something else a little cold to the touch up against the side of the bag, it didn't take you long to realise they were photos...
"What...??"
Eddie asks slightly worried when your eyes shot back at his, hand still in the bag,
"There's a photo...or, photos"
You explain, obviously no idea what they were photos of so you felt a little nervous for him, but still eager to take a look yourself but in Eddie's time.
He gave you a nod and turned to face you a bit better, being gentle as Odila was still sleeping in his lap, his eyes glued to the bag again in anticipation for you to take these said photos out, which you did...not looking down at them till Eddie got a look in first, watching his eyes widening a little and brows raising under his messy bangs, when he didn't say anything and looked frozen, you take a look yourself, being met with the eyes of some beautiful, long and curly haired women...
Looking side by side, ANYONE who hadn't met either of them could tell that this women in the photograph was Eddie's mom, hell a damn fool could bloody tell you that, that saying
'You have your mother's eyes' was nothing, because Eddie was the male copy of his mother, eyes yes but there were several other features you quickly picked up on.
It was like you were being introduced to her for the very first time via a photo, technically you were...having never met her before, but for Eddie it was almost the same feeling if not more, he didn't remember what she looked like as she left so young in his life, he'd wondered about her a lot, so...It was also like he was meeting her for the first time too.
"That's...that's your~"
"My mom..."
He finished your sentence, huffing out slightly as he reached over with a shaky hand to take the photos from you gently, holding them so delicately like he was affraid they'd disintegrate or tear in his hand.
You could see he was getting choked up again, the photos trembling in his hand which made your eyes water, scooting closer to him you laid a hand on his forearm and rubbed it with your thumb, looking at the first photo together and just silently letting him know he's okay, and that you were right here.
"...That's my mom..."
He says again like he was looking at something so ethereal, in awe of her...She really was ethereal though, she was beautiful.
"That's your mom Eddie..."
You replied softly, smiling at Elizabeth and then at him just as a tear trickled down his cheek which you caught in a gentle kiss, didn't care about the saltyness.
"She's beautiful...You look just like her, and I'm not just saying that, you really do...holy shit"
That made Eddie laugh again, this time a more watery one sniffling as many tears back as he could, not wanting any to drop on the photos.
"I always wondered w-who I looked like the most...but, I didn't think I'd take after her as much as I have..."
"Her genes really said copy and paste"
You added making him laugh more, you chuckled too, it melted your heart to hear him able to laugh despite how pained he was still feeling, but he was smiling now as he looked at his mom,
"Really kicked Al's out the way, thank god, my mom...she's Beautiful"
He adds, spending a moment looking at the first photo before he felt ready to look at the next one,
She was smiling a bit in this one, it looked more like a candid shot than the first, you couldn't hold back the quiet 'Wow...' that you whispered,
"Holy sh- you even have her smile Ed's"
Hearing you say that, something so sweet which ment a lot to him, opened up the flood gates again, trying to muffling the choke with the back of his hand, same one he was holding the photos with.
You wrapped one arm around his shoulders and the other around his front, giving him a hug from the side and letting him get it out, he needed it,
He lent his head against yours calming himself down as much as he could so he could get back to looking at the photos, you held onto his hand this time to stop if trembling, holding the photo steady.
"It h-hurts..."
He whispered scrunching his face up, having to bite the inside of your cheek to stop your lip wobbling as you bring a hand to hold against his chest,
"I know...I'm right here, just let it out, It's okay, take your time you don't need to rush alright? Deep breaths baby..."
You'd comforted Eddie many times before, he used to get really bad panic attacks when you were kids, and even as a child you could make him feel better by just being that best friend he needed, giving him hugs or giving him one of your many stuffed animals to hold, making him laugh with silly faces...or even playing knights with him to take his mind of everything.
Being adults now, it was similar in ways, holding him like this helped a lot, the soft spoken words helped also, being that person he needed, but of course there's things that have changed, a big one being the feelings.
You pressed a kiss to his cheek bone keeping a hand against his chest feeling his breathing calm and ease down again, using your hand to dry his face for him so he could get back to looking at the photos.
There was four all together, each one he looked more like her if possible, picking up on small things like the dimples he also had, the smile lines, the lip shape, eyes...can't miss the hair, they didn't share the same colour, Eddie's was brown, but the curls...? He had his mom's.
When he got to the last photo;
He looked at it for a while, couldn't take his eyes off her, you'd not said anything for a few minutes just sitting in silence, letting him have a moment while you hold him and wait for him to be ready for conversation.
You didn't mind sitting in silence, he needed it, you weren't going to force him to speak especially in this situation.
You wished you could take his pain away, not stopping him from grieving of course, he needed to be able to do that, but seeing him hurting was really hard, he'd spent enough time hurting when he was younger, he didn't deserve it then and he doesn't deserve it now.
He deserved love, to feel loved, and wanted, protected...all things he didn't get till he was safe with his Uncle which should've happened years before it actually did, his childhood was nothing but fearing for his life right when his mom left at 3, feeling scared, alone, abandoned by people who were ment to love him, feeling lost and alone, confused as to why he was being treated the way he was, running away from his dad and ending up at yours as a little boy...
making that scary 10 minute trip alone almost always around the time the sun was going down.
A new bruise or graze for your mom to take care of, fed for the first time in hours sometimes even days...Wayne being called and told that Eddie was at your house.
It wasn't Wayne's fault though...that it took years fighting the court and winning when Eddie was a year off being a teenager and only THEN having a stable, permanent roof over his head and feeling what it's like to be wanted around and cared about. Wayne couldn't take Eddie from his dad, he wasn't a legal guardian, he did once though...but Al threatened that if his brother did that again, he'd get him done for kidnapping which...
technically, by law, it most likely would've gone that way for Wayne, he also threatened to take Eddie away which really scared Wayne when he wouldn't know if Eddie was okay, or even alive when he knew he wasn't safe with Al.
You knew Eddie never held anything against his mom, he had a good feeling she'd gone through similar crap that he had with Al, but he had questions...course he did, anyone would, but now they were questions he'd never get answers to, so it was even harder to cope and get his head around.
After some time, he cleared his throat and lent his head off yours,
"...She was in Fortville this whole time, Jim said that she basically rooted there...It's where she lived. *Snifs* she, she died not that far off us graduating..."
He finally spoke, you could still hear the wobble in his tone.
Learning that Elizabeth was that close this whole time gripped at your chest, she knew Hawkins, she knew Hawkins was where she last saw Eddie, where Wayne lived...but did nothing to reach out, no one on this side could, she left no number, no note on where she went, she just... disappeared.
Wrapping your arms around his bicep, cheek resting on his shoulder,
"...How'd she, pass away...?"
You ask delicately, hugging his arm a little tighter, he took a deep inhale through his nose and then out from his mouth in a sigh,
"...Overdose, Al happened to be the one who found her"
That made your head lift up rather fast off his shoulder, it sounded, dodgy, though you didn't want to say of course, god no you didn't want to start throwing out the M word or assuming things and make him feel even worse, but the look Eddie gave you said that he felt the exact same, his lips pulled into a tight line.
Losing his mom in that way was just, awful, anyway would've been awful, but knowing Al's background...It made things hard to believe.
"Jesus...M'so sorry Eddie"
Rubbing your thumb against his bicep, pressing a kiss to his shoulder too,
"...I, I wanna go to Fortville...to see her, where she's, burried. Jim said she's there, I wanna find her. I need to find her..."
You had a feeling he was going to wanna make that drive, you weren't going to stop him, but you weren't going to let him do it alone.
"I'll go with you, whenever you feel like making the drive, we can go find her together..."
He didn't protest that, you didn't think he would but still, he looked to you with a small smile and nodded, leaning over to press his lips against your forehead, a sweet 'Thank You'.
There turned out to only be 5 things in that bag, a box of Pall Mall cigarettes, a pretty necklace and three photos...but each one ment a lot to him, made him feel that bit closer to his mom.
You knew the photos were a favourite, he spent ages looking at them individually while you sat on the sofa together, and even when you decided to call it a night seeing as he'd tired himself out, having a look at them again when he was laid in bed before he slept.
The necklace was fixed with your spare clasp and he put it on right after it was made secure, holding the charm in his hand close to his heart as he settled down for the night, helped with you laying beside him and playing with his hair, tracing a finger down his nose.
It didn't take you that long to doze off after he had, Odila joining the both of you at the foot of the bed after she was done eating her supper, full belly and ready to nap more, she'd be up and about at around 3am, not you and Eddie though, she was left to roam about and play with her toys, it was actually oddly soothing to hear her little bells jingling while half asleep from the livingroom.
End of part 1.
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