Aurora
The room stayed silent after I made my announcement, and I wasn't sure what to do next. Richard was staring at me with a cocked brow from where he was sitting while Luca got out of his seat and stood next to me. Lord Nilsen even seemed surprised.
"Why the change of mind?" Richard asked.
"I have given the idea of ruling as Queen some thought and decided that if my presence in Juvelia means so much to the people, then I'll stay." Luca cleared his throat.
"I have agreed to act as Regent so that the princess can tend to her son and take time to become familiar with her station. Rulers aren't born overnight." He stared Richard down, and I looked away.
Don't make it so obvious, Luca.
"A queen without a king and a fatherless prince." Richard scoffed. "Who will teach your bastard how to be a man?" Kelvin stood up straighter from where he was standing in his corner, and I tensed. Richard's words made me angry. I had to admit it, but it took everything inside of me to be the bigger person. I sighed and looked him in the eye.
"My son will have all the men here to teach him how to fight and do what men do. It isn't my fault that his father abandoned us." The room was silent then; all the men looked at me like a broken puppy, and I felt a little satisfaction.
It isn't all a lie, and I don't think the council cares anyway. After all, Nigel did mention the rebellion was young. There had to be some wiggle room I could work with regarding traditions. Richard wasn't looking at me now; there was a glint in his eyes that I'd never seen before. Was he hurt or just mad he wasn't going to become king? It didn't matter; I was done with it all and had a splitting headache.
"I will leave Luca to attend to business; I must retire to my quarters. My son needs me." I gave one last look to Richard, who was looking at me again, then turned and left. With my head held high, I walked through the castle halls as if I owned it; I technically owned the palace now that I was taking my birthright. It was weird thinking of myself this way. I had always thought Mary, my older sister, would become Queen; that was when we were children. I never knew what had happened to her. Had she survived, too, or had she been killed along with my father?
I shook my head; the council would already have her crowned queen if she were alive instead of bullying me into taking the throne. I turned a corner and continued my stride down the aisle when suddenly I felt a hand grab my mouth, and another arm grab my waist. I tried to scream, but his hand covered my mouth and now my nose. I couldn't breathe; I was going to die. He brought me into a small room, closed the door, and pinned me against it, pressing himself into my back.
"You little liar." I knew it was Richard. I panted as he pressed my face into the door. "All I have to do is tell the captain what happened. All those men are on my side, and when I tell them the truth, they'll find out who you really are, Aurora Arrianna Nikolaevna." I tried adjusting myself so I could breathe. When he whipped me around to face him, a dagger was at my throat now, and anger burned in his eyes.
"You can kill me now, Richard. Go ahead, show your true colors; how small of a man you are that a tiny woman can embarrass you in front of your peers." He pressed the flat against my neck, but I continued. "You're such a coward you'd orphan your son." He dropped the blade then, and it rattled loudly.
"What was that?" I heard a guard ask.
"I don't know," said a deep voice; was that Kelvin? It didn't matter; Richard's hand muffled my mouth and nose again before I could scream. Richard and I stared at each other until we heard their voices fade. He finally rereleased my face, and I gasped for air.
"You call me a liar now, but where were you when I needed you?" I whispered.
"I saw you in the city; you ran from me!" He hissed back.
"It had been months since the... incident." His eyes widened in fury, and I cringed against the door; my hands were shaking badly now. His facial expression melted, and he looked at me with soft eyes.
"You asked me for a place to stay in exchange for servant's work. You were so beautiful... you still are." I scoffed.
"I didn't consent." Tears ran down my cheek as I remembered that night after eating dinner and falling asleep. Waking up with him on top of me... I shuddered, trying to shove those memories away. He cupped my face, and I flinched away, finally escaping his arms. The dagger glinted not far from my reach, and I grabbed it before he could. I pointed it at him, and he gave me a look.
"As if that little dagger is going to beat my sword."
"Let me out now, and I'll pretend this never happened. Keep me in here, and I'll fight to the death." He pursed his lips in the faint light of the room. He gestured with his hand toward the door, and I walked out without another word.
I ran through the halls to get to my room as fast as possible. Nicolas was the only one on my mind right now. I turned a corner and grunted as I ran into a chest; falling to the floor, I reached for the dagger. I winced as I cut myself, grabbing the wrong end of it.
"Aurora!" Kelvin kneeled and grabbed my hand. He took out a handkerchief and began to soak the blood, and I winced and pulled away.
"I already told you; you aren't my babysitter anymore."
"Then why is it that every time I turn my back, you end up crying or bleeding?" was that a ghost of a smirk on his face? I looked away as my cheeks burned. I remember when we were children, and I had followed Kelvin everywhere; in a way, he had been my security blanket as a child.
It was cute as a kid, but now it's weird; he's taken! He gently took my hand back, folded the cloth in my hand, and made me squeeze it. He grabbed the dagger and tucked it away somewhere. His brows furrowed, and he scanned my face with his chocolate-brown eyes.
"Who did that to you?" He touched the part of my neck where Richard had pressed the knife, and I winced. He'd cut me; the adrenaline must have prevented me from feeling the pain initially. My mouth was half open, and I couldn't say what to say.
"I must have accidentally cut myself. It's not bad, is it?" He shook his head, still searching my gaze.
"I'm still wondering why you ran with an unsheathed dagger."
"I don't know what to tell you, Kelvin." I rubbed my eyes; suddenly, I was so tired from it all. I just wanted to hold Nicolas.
"She tried killing herself." I heard Richard's voice behind me, and I stiffened. Kelvin looked shocked, and I wasn't sure what to say. If I ousted Richard, I'd risk him blabbing to everyone that he's the father. If I kept my mouth shut, I'd probably be under some guard; the servants wouldn't leave me alone for months. My abilities as a monarch were already being questioned enough.
Damn you, Richard!
"I fought the knife out of her hand before she could do it, but then she ran." I looked down. "I'd make sure she's not allowed to have any weapons." He smirked at me from the corner of his eye as he walked away. A few moments after he was gone, Kelvin broke the silence again.
"Aurora, that isn't the answer. I already told you that you didn't have to do this."
"I wasn't going to kill myself; look on the crest of that dagger." He took the dagger and examined it. "Do you remember me having a dagger at the meeting?"
"You could have had it hidden under your skirt." He had his brow raised in skepticism. I stood up and pulled up my skirt part of the way, showing my bare legs and flats. I let the skirt down and began to walk away when he grabbed my arm and stopped me.
"If you didn't attempt suicide, what happened?" We stared into each other's eyes again, and I tore my gaze away.
"I can't say."
"Why?"
"There's too many things at stake," I whispered. "I don't need you meddling in something I can handle myself."
"Oh really?" he pulled my hand up again, and I winced as a drop of blood fell to the tile underneath our feet. I pulled my hand away and continued walking away.
"I could help you if I knew what was going on."
"You'd just make things worse! You wouldn't understand. I can't risk you running your mouth. There's too much at stake for me." He looked so confused and concerned it made me want to melt, but I stood my ground. "Stop looking at me like that. If you can't follow your princesses' orders, go home." With that, I marched back to my room, ignoring how everyone stopped themselves to look at my bloody hand.
I had returned to my quarters that night exhausted and hungry. Kelvin's twin sister Camilla came in with a food tray and helped me change Nicolas while I ate. She put some ointment on my hand and bandaged it so the wound wouldn't be irritated by anything I touched. The captain appointed her as my lady-in-waiting, and I was grateful to her in many ways. I didn't think she liked me very much, though.
"My brother didn't mean any harm; he cares very deeply about you," she had said before leaving my room. I understood why there might be tension between us now; I had treated him coldly, but I couldn't risk it. Kelvin was going to have to understand that we weren't children anymore.
I dressed and took Nicolas out for a morning walk. After that, I fed, washed, and sat him down for a nap. I decided I'd return some of the books from the library and see if I could find Nigel. Luca had found me before I could get to the library and told me I would need to start taking classes as soon as possible to learn how to be Queen.
I could help you if you told me what's going on. Kelvin's words ran through my head as I half paid attention to what Luca was saying and half worried that Richard would raise hell for Nicolas and me.
"I'll give you as much time as you need; I know Nicolas is the most important thing to you right now. But it would be ideal to start your tutoring as soon as possible," Luca had told me, then left to attend to his new duties as Regent. Everything was happening so fast, and the responsibilities I had taken on yesterday were starting to hit me. I finally reached the library and handed the books to a servant. Then I searched for Nigel; I needed an advisor, and I was going to ask him if he'd take the position. After all, I needed an advisor I could trust; Nigel seemed like an excellent person to handle the job.
Let's hope he says yes. I searched everywhere in the library and even walked on the second and third levels to see the library as a whole. He wasn't here today. I'd have to catch him another time. I walked back down the steps and almost left the library when I saw someone organizing a shelf of papers behind the counter.
Maybe I can leave a message for him!
"Excuse me," the man turned around and bowed.
"How can I help you, your Highness?"
"I need to leave a message for Nigel?" I didn't know his last name; hopefully, that wouldn't be a problem. "He comes here often; he's a lawyer." The man thought for a moment.
"I think I might know whom you're speaking of. What's the message?" he asked as he took a pencil and paper. I thought for a moment.
"Could you ask him if he'd like to be my advisor? He's someone I trust, and he's already experienced with law. Let him know he doesn't have to decide right away." There wasn't anything else I could think of. "Thank you, sir." He nodded, and I walked out of the library. There was a gala tonight, and I had to be ready.
The only thing I was worried about for tonight's event was the conversations I'd have to have with anyone I might interact with and the dancing. I knew how to dance. At one point, I'd made money by dancing in the capital city's streets. That's actually how Richard and I had met... I'd just never danced at a formal party before. If no one asked me to dance, tonight would be okay. I turned a corner and saw Camilla walking down the hall with Kelvin; they looked like they were in deep conversation. Kelvin had a wooden box in his hand. I returned to the corner of the wall before they could see me.
"What if she goes mental again?"
"Cami Aurora isn't mental; she's just gone through a lot. We're friends; she overthinks it sometimes, that's all."
"She tried killing herself."
"I don't believe it." I'd heard enough. I turned the corner again confidently, and my chin held high. Camilla automatically curtsied while Kelvin bowed his head and then straightened.
"I'll be fetching your gown for the gala tonight, Your Majesty; my brother—"
"I can speak for myself, Camilla." Kelvin interrupted her. She nodded then and curtsied again before walking away. I gave her a side eye before turning my attention back to Kelvin.
"This is Morgana's wand; the captain wanted me to give it to you." I took the box; he bowed his head and then turned around to leave. I felt terrible then.
"Kelvin, wait." He turned around then with a confused facial expression. "I'm sorry for being harsh with you yesterday. I was just so sc—" I stopped myself. "Tired."
"It's alright, I understand. Your reputation is important, and you need to protect it; I still worry for you, but what you do is up to you. We are still friends, and there are no hard feelings." He gave me a soft smile, and I nodded, looking at the floor, unable to meet his gaze.
"I'm glad for that." I looked up at him again, and he nodded.
"I have to go now. I have to meet with my girlfriend; she wants to go for a walk in the city." I nodded. I didn't want to keep him if his girl awaited him.
She's one lucky girl; I'll give her that. I shoved down my jealousy and took the boxed wand to my living quarters. Curiosity got the best of me, so I sat at my desk and opened the box. It was just a wooden stick; it was crooked. I wrinkled my nose while looking at it; this was the wand that had destroyed my family and my life. It's only fair if I have it destroyed.
Nicolas was asleep upstairs with Camilla watching over him while I was downstairs at the party. Violins whined in the background as I sat at a table full of lords and ladies from all over the Peninsula of Juvelia.
There were a lot more people apart of this rebellion than I thought. Only Lord Petrov had spoken to me at the dinner table, but the conversation didn't last long, which relieved me. We watched as some ladies danced with soldiers and lords in front of us while we ate. I spotted Kelvin dancing with a star-struck brunette. Her nose is crooked. Okay, that was mean, but I couldn't help it. The dance ended, and Luca laughed at something. I turned to see him and Lord Fergus talking lowly to each other; what was so funny? Someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I looked to visit Richard.
Why am I not surprised?
"My Queen may I have a dance?" I wasn't even crowned yet, so why was he showing me this much deference? Luca looked at him, then at me; wasn't it rude to decline a dance? Lord Nilsen was smirking from the far end of the table.
Alright, Richard, I'll play your little game for now... I stood up, ignoring Luca's concerned facial expression. I didn't take Richard's hand as I walked to the dance floor, and everyone cleared the way. Was that a custom? I shrugged it off as the band began to play a different tune. This one was livelier, and I couldn't help but smile.
"Your dress is gorgeous; blue suits you." Richard held out his hand, and I slowly took it. He pulled me in and then slowly twirled me twice. The tune seemed familiar, and I thought of one of the nights I had spent serving at his mansion back on the other side.
"The song?"
"I asked them to play it for us. You know I'm in love with you." He pulled me in and wrapped his arm around my waste. It was a little too close for comfort, but it was a dance in front of everyone. I had to make it look good. Our faces were an inch apart, and he was smiling at me adoringly. "I do love you, Aurora," he said lowly as he turned us around slowly. I couldn't help but fall into his trance for a little bit.
Where was he when I was alone on the streets? Logic asked me. I was trying to stay away from Morgana and keep myself alive all those days. Where was he then?
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you; I'm sorry for everything." Had he read my mind? I considered his words for a moment. He seemed genuine. "You're a dancer, right? Let's give them a little show."
"Go on then," I said with a smile. We sashayed across the dance floor, and then he began twirling us. I laughed as the music and our dance matched flawlessly. I had to admit he was very good at his power of persuasion.
"Nicolas needs a father, his father." I stared into Richard's eyes; if he wanted this to work, why fight it?
"I'm open to working things out, only if you promise not to be a bully." We broke apart momentarily, and he twirled me back into his arms.
"I promise." He opened his arm, and we finished the dance with him dipping me slightly. Then, the music ended. Everyone clapped, and I sighed as the trance finally faded; I saw Luca standing near the table with furrowed brows. His expression asked what the hell just happened? Had I just made a mistake?