October 2018
**HARRYS POV**
It's been a week.
A whole week since we lost our little girl. A week of us grieving or what seemed like it each in our own way.
Y/n distanced herself from me and I hated it, because I felt so incredibly lonely and I knew this wasn't good for her.
She has been so quiet. Only talking to me when I asked her something and even then, she only let out short sentences or just some words. She isolated herself, mostly lying in bed and staring outside the window of our bedroom.
I didn't know what to do, how to help her and how to be there for her. I tried, but I also didn't wanna overwhelm her with anything and pressure her.
I felt so helpless, sad and still tried to process all of this, trying to keep living life normally if that was still possible.
I had no idea when I last laughed or even just smiled. My days have always been the same during this past week. I took off from doing anything right now to be there for Y/n and also myself.
I got up in the morning, usually very early as I couldn't sleep anyways, always trying to make sure Y/n was some sort of okay at night as she would always break out in tears at random times.
After getting up, I usually went for a run where I could kind of let the anger in me out. Getting back home, I always took a shower and got dressed again in something comfy as I wouldn't really leave the house anyway.
Right now, just like every day this week, I went to check on Y/n. I went inside the bedroom and sat down on the edge of our bed on her side where she was lying. A tear was slowly rolling down her cheek and I reached my hand out to wipe it away with my thumb.
„Morning." I said with a very small smile. „Are you hungry? I can make breakfast if you like?"
She shook her head slowly. „No thanks."
I didn't wanna keep asking anything and pressure her, so I left and went downstairs grabbing a croissant and poured a glass of orange juice before bringing it back up to her bedroom and placed it on the bedside table in case she changed her mind.
Before I left again, I gently kissed her forehead and made my way out of the room.
I went into the study and closed the door, grabbing my phone and finally having the guts to call the person that still had no idea about this. My mum. I didn't wanna tell her just after it happened and I was scared to. Scared I would lose it completely, knowing everything would only get realer.
She'd be devastated and Gemma too. They loved our baby girl so much already just like Y/n and I did.
I stood in front of the window, looking outside when I held my phone to my ear, waiting for her to pick up.
She did just a few seconds later.
„Harry my love! I haven't heard anything from you and Y/n in a while, how have you been?" Her voice was cheerful what made my eyes water already, because I knew I would crush her world right now. „Are you okay, honey?"
I knew my voice would give it away as son as I said something. I shook my head even though she couldn't see it. „No...nothing is okay."
„Oh honey, what's wrong?" She worried instantly.
„Y/n probably doesn't want me to tell you this already, but I don't have anyone else to talk to about this. It's about the baby..." I sniffled. „Y/n had a miscarriage, mum." I eventually let out, tears running down my cheeks.
I heard a slight gasp from my mum on the other side and a short pause afterwards. „My god...Harry...I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, my dear." I could tell hearing her voice she was about to cry too. „How...how is she?"
„I don't know what to do mum. It happened a week ago and ever since then she is so distant towards me. She doesn't talk to me or grieves with me, she just stays in bed almost all day, crying. I feel so lonely, mum. It's like I lost her too." I cried.
„Hey, no, you didn't lose her too. She experienced a traumatic thing. Losing a baby is incredibly hard for women. Mentally and emotionally as well. I know this is very hard on you too and you're in pain too, but try to give her the time she needs until she's ready to come to you and grieve with you."
„I will...I mean that's what I've been doing all week, but it's just so hard. I hate to see her like this and feel so lonely at the moment." I told her, wiping some of my tears away, but more and more rolled down my cheeks.
„I know it is, honey. I'm so sorry this happened to you, I'm so incredibly sorry, Harry my dear." She said, her voice breaking at the end. „Can I do anything for you two?"
„Not really, no. Thanks mum. Being there is enough already."
„I'll always be there, especially in times like these. I love you so much, Harry. Stay strong my darling. With time everything will get better." She told me.
„Thanks mum, love you too." I responded with a little sigh at the end before I hung up the phone.
I turned around and threw my phone on my desk, rubbing my face and running my hand through my hair afterwards.
I walked out of the study, passing the room that I was trying to avoid ever since it happened. Our baby's nursery. The door was closed. I was scared to enter all week, but now I thought that maybe it would help me in some way. Maybe help with grieving.
I opened the door...slowly and walked in, looking around quietly. The sun was shining through the window as if everything was alright.
I looked at the recliner with the pink blanket laid over the armrest. I went over there, running my hand over it before I looked to the other side at the closet. Opening it, I sighed as I saw the small baby grows, the little socks and some pink hats.
We haven't gotten a lot of clothes for our baby girl, but we did get some we really loved. They were no use now though and just laid there in the still so new baby closet.
I closed the door again, making my way over to the empty crib, knowing it would stay empty, that our baby girl would never spend a night in her little bed inside of her beautiful room.
I placed my hand on top of it and reached out for the stuffed bunny that should have been her forever stuffed animal. Her very first one. I looked at it and and broke down crying. I haven't cried and let it out like that since that night a week ago. My heart was in so much fucking pain and I couldn't take it anymore.
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❗️Pic is made with AI as always!!!