- Caleb -
- Hi Mary, how are you? – I ask entering the house.
The woman is wearing a black dress, not a formal elegant tight dress someone would wear to a wedding, but a nice casual black dress that looks really comfortable and nice on her with no shoes. It's still weird to see people walking around barefooted. To be honest, I'm not the biggest fan. I like wearing shoes, they are comfortable and quite frankly look cool. I've only been here for a weekend, out of which I spend almost all the time in Caleb's room, so I haven't gone out. I wonder if I'll ever get used to walking around barefoot.
- Nate! – she greets happily. – I'm fine. How was your day? – she asks nicely.
- It was okay, I guess. I got to see all my friends and spoke with my family. My brother is a little upset but nothing to worry about. – I say.
- I see you brought more clothes. – she notes, looking at the suitcase.
- Yeah. As much as I love to, I can't wear Caleb's clothes all the time, they are just too big. – I chuckle.
- You two make a lovely couple. – she compliments.
- Thanks. – I blush a little.
- You know, I did always wonder if Caleb was gay, or at the bare minimum, interested in guys. – she admits, making friendly conversation.
- Really? – I ask shocked. – I never suspected it at all. –
- Don't get me wrong, it's definitively not like acts gay or anything, but he's 19 and he's only ever had one girlfriend, his best friend for that matter. I remember being his age, it's all hormones and pleasure. But not Caleb, he never sneaks out late at night, never hangs out with any girl.... nothing. I'm sure you know by now how fast things move in this pack. To be honest, I was beginning to worry about him. – she jokes, making me laugh.
- Really, no one? – I wonder, intrigued.
- No, it's like he never had any interest in finding a romantic partner, which is quite shocking considering how good-looking he is. Seriously, half of the girls his age practically drool as he walks by them. For the Moon Goddess, even Alaric's daughter is head over heels for him, he never noticed. – she says.
- Nymeria has a crush on Caleb? – I ask, baffled by the information.
- A huge crush, you just got here that's why you haven't noticed. – she says. A small worry sensation starts growing in my stomach. – I wouldn't worry, though. Nymeria is not that kind of girl and Caleb just has eyes for you. – she adds quickly.
Then all the bits of information started to make sense, like pieces in the puzzle fitting together. Nymeria has always wanted to marry Caleb, that's why she's still single, and it's why Alpha Alaric agreed to it. Caleb's dad must've found out about Nymeria's crush on his don and took the opportunity to make him Male Alpha. No one had any idea that he was already mated to me, it's not their fault but ours.
- O-okay. – I stutter, not sure how to feel about it – You dressed up, any reason? – I ask, changing the subject.
- Didn't Caleb tell you? – she asks. I simply shake my head in response. – Well, to answer your question, we are holding a ceremony for the wolves that died during the attack. It's called the weeping tree; the pack gathers around, and we bury the bodies next to a weeping cherry tree, hence the name. It's a very traditional custom that helps mourn the losses and guide the souls of the fallen to the afterlife. – she explains.
- Wow, it sounds important. – I respond at a loss of words.
- It is; the pack needs this. We were fortunate not to lose someone, but a lot of families weren't as lucky. We are going to show some support and help in whatever way we can. Caleb oversaw organizing the whole event alongside Convel. –
- He didn't mention it before. – I say, recalling every conversation in the past three days.
- I'm sure it just slipped his mind since he's been extremely busy lately. – she dismissed casually. – It's at midnight; I know you have school tomorrow, but you should come too. Maybe you don't know anyone in the pack yet, but it would be a good sign if you showed up... I'm sure Caleb wants you there. – she concludes.
She's very right about that. Everyone is hurting so bad right now and it's partially my fault. If only we had told the alphas of our relationship, the whole attack could've been avoided. The least I can do is show up tonight offer my condolences and see if I can help in any way. Besides, I'll get to meet a lot of people. Fortunately, I remember packing some black jeans and a shirt earlier today.
- I'd love to go. – I accept, earning me a smile. - Speaking of Caleb, do you know where he is? – I ask.
- Yeah, he's upstairs taking a shower. – she responds. – Now that I think about it, he's taking longer than usual. Do you mind checking on him? – she asks nicely. - I wanted to ask him something. –
- Sure. Thanks for everything, it was nice speaking with you. – I say, picking up my suitcase and walking upstairs.
I make my way up the stairs and drag my suitcase into Caleb's room. The sound of flowing water coming from the bathroom hits my ear and I can't help but the nasty thoughts running wild in my head. My Goddess, he must look sexy as hell in there. I gently lay the suitcase on top of the bed and take my clothes off until only my boxers are left. I unzip the suitcase and open it, revealing a pile of poorly folded clothes. It's a good thing River Valley is not so far away, otherwise I'd need to iron the clothes. Finally, I found my black jeans and a formal black short to match. I set it aside and walked toward the bathroom. As I open the door a little steam comes out and the sound of falling water becomes clearer.
- Hey, Mary said to stop wasting water and finish showering already. – I joke, closing the door behind me.
Wiping the condensation in the mirror with my hand, I look at myself to make sure I'm presentable. A little facial hair had begun growing from not shaving in four days, but it still looked good. I think I'll shave it just in case, besides, there's still time until de ceremony takes place at midnight. What was it called again? I was about to ask Caleb when I heard him breathe in noisily, resembling a lot of a sob. Is he crying?
- I'll be out in a minute. – he says trying to sound casually, but I can sense something in his tone.
- Is everything all right? – I ask, more concern this time.
- Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry. – he assures me, but there's this troubling feeling in my stomach telling me otherwise.
I walk up to the curtain and listen closely. His heartbeat is fast and sporadic, not following a constant rhythm. His breathing is also heavy and a bit noisy and more importantly, the mate bond is telling me something is not okay. I slowly push the curtain aside. My eyes fall to the ground, Caleb's naked on the floor with red eyes. There's steam coming off from the warm water. I close the water and enter without a second thought.
- Why are you crying? – I ask, sitting down in front of him, and grabbing his hands.
- Maybe he just realized he doesn't love you. – Klyn's voice still lingers in my head. For the Goddess's sake, just what I needed. Please not right now, just go away. – Face it, he doesn't love you. –
- It's nothing. – he quickly dismissed, looking away and wiping his eyes.
- Well, it's clearly not nothing if it's making you cry. – I say calmly. - Come on, baby, you can tell me. –
Our eyes interlock once more. The beautiful grayish blue of his eyes contrasts widely against the red from crying. And I swear that I saw those same eyes falter for a second before breaking right of me as tears formed and he started crying. My heart breaks on the spot and I move in to hug him, not caring about getting wet. He latches on to me like a little monkey as he cries harder against my chest. I've never seen him act like this. Whatever is troubling him so much must be very important.
- I don't deserve you. – he says sobbing. My eyebrows furrow, taken aback by his comment.
- Of course, you do. –
- No, I don't. – he sobs harder.
- Cal, I love you. Why would you say that? – I ask concerned, caressing his wet hair.
- You shouldn't. – he says, separating from my chest and controlling himself a little. His eyes are swollen and red. – You shouldn't love me... not after what I did to you. – he says.
- What do you mean? – I'm confused, I don't understand what's happening.
- I need to tell you something, you deserve to know the truth. – he speaks, regaining some composure. I'm looking at him expectantly. – After rejecting Alaric's proposal to marry Nymeria, my father kicked me out of the house. – he starts explaining.
- Oh, baby, I know. – I admit openly. I'll apologize to Maya later. – Is this why you're crying? Because you're mad at your dad? – I ask. His eyes shot right up, astonished.
- What? No, well kind of yes, but that's not what I was trying to tell you. Who told you ab... it doesn't matter. – he quickly says.
- What is it then? – I speak calmly.
- I ended up spending the night somewhere else. – he continues. – I was a mess; I didn't know what was happening and I felt like a total letdown. It's not an excuse for what I did, but I just couldn't think of something else. – he speaks dreadfully. My Goddess, what did he do? Please tell me he didn't cheat on me, I started panicking.
- Of course, he did, what kind of person would be in love with a killer? – Klyn's voice whispers in my head, making everything so much worse.
- Either way, the next morning I went to speak with Alaric. I hadn't slept and I was feeling like shit, but I still went. – he stopped to breathe. A wave of relief washed through my body. Thank the Goddess he didn't cheat.
- Okay? – I say confused, not sure where the conversation was headed anymore.
- I accepted Alaric's offer. I was going to marry Nymeria. – his voice breaks again, and I can smell the shame reeking off him.
It was like someone punched me in the gut, I started feeling dizzy and couldn't see straight. My stomach dropped and I felt an immense sensation of throwing up. As I looked him in the eye, I could tell that he was telling the absolute truth. He was... he was going to leave me? The mere words revolted in my stomach like acid. The air in my lungs was suddenly not enough at the realization that we were almost nothing. There it was... the final piece to the puzzle. I had no idea why Dyrus challenged him to a duel, but now I do. Caleb almost left me...
- See? He just wanted to get rid of you. You're a killer Nathan, an unlovable murderer. – his cynical whispers echo in my mind.
- What? – I whisper at a loss of words.
- It was a stupid decision; the worst decision in my life and I regret it completely. – his eyes water again, but he refrains from crying. – I've been meaning to tell you, but every time I was about I just... couldn't. I know I don't deserve you, but I'm in love with you and... I don't want to lose you. – tears start falling.
A million thoughts ran through my head during the next couple of seconds. On one hand, I was so close to becoming mateless, to have my heart broken. If I hadn't shown up to the arena, who knows what would've happened? On the other hand, this is my mate and he's suffering. I can feel the mate bond pulling me, calling to me to help him. I love him, I know I do. So, why is this so difficult? A mixture of feelings takes hold of my mind, clouding my judgment.
- I know I screwed up. – Caleb's voice draws me back. – I know I don't deserve you. You deserve someone who would give up everything just to be with you. Someone who would never falter when it comes to you. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough, I'm sorry I failed you. – he speaks more clearly. I can hear his heartbeat, it's fast but true.
- It's okay. – I say, making my decision.
- No, it's not okay. – he shakes his head. – I failed you as I mate, and I swear I'll spend the rest of my life regretting that day and proving myself to you. To make you feel proud and loved every day... – he speaks seriously, a bit shaky from crying but surely.
- Cal, it's okay. – I reassure him, holding his head so our eyes meet. – You made a mistake, everyone does. What matters is that we're together now. – I tell him. Tears grow and his eyes are about to cry again.
- I don't deserve a mate this wonderful. – he repeats. I sigh.
- There's no point in mortifying yourself about it. In the end, things worked out for the better. – I speak, thinking thoroughly about the events. – If you hadn't done that, then Dyrus would've never challenged you, the rogue attack would've probably been avoided, and my pack wouldn't have intervened. But guess what, it did happen and now The River Valley pack and the Lazarus pack are together and stronger than ever. – I explain. His gaze is upon me, studying my every reaction. - I admit that I don't like that you almost gave up on us, but I'm glad about how things sorted out. –
- Really? – his husky voice asks; he sounds so sexy.
- Yeah. – I affirm. – To be entirely honest, I'm relieved I won't become the future Alpha. – I admit openly. His eyebrow shot up with a surprised expression.
- Why? I thought that's what you always wanted. –
- As did I. – I say. – I don't know... I thought I wanted to be an alpha, I truly did, but ... after my near-death experience, I realized it was too much stress. Honestly, I'm happy just being a rogue with you. –
His eyes sparkle and a smile is painted on his lips. He looks so damn cute I just want to hug him and cuddle forever. I can feel his emotions through the mate bond, it's subtle but there. We stare into each other's gaze, losing ourselves for minutes. It's like we're having a telepathic conversation, I know exactly what he's saying.
- I love you too. – I say. – And you have nothing to prove to me, okay? Because the day I stop loving you, it's the day the Moon falls from the sky. Let's just leave the past mistakes like that... a thing of the past. What do you say? – I say gently.
- You're the best mate ever. Deal. – he accepts. – From now on, there are no more secrets. When it comes to you, Nathan Bryce, I'm an open book. I'm all yours. – he adds happily, making me laugh a little.
- Good. – I say. – Cause there's no one else I'd rather be with. – I lean in, and we kiss. It's soft and gentle but with so much meaning behind it. – Speaking of no secrets... there's something I should probably tell you... just don't get mad. – I add, a little nervous. He chuckles, looking at me lovingly.
- There's literally nothing you can say that will make me angry at this point. What is it? – he speaks calmly. I take a couple of seconds to think about it.
- There's no sane way to put this. – I start, and his eyebrows frown getting his attention. – Since the attack... I've been hearing this voice, whispering in the back of my head. – I say.
- What voice? – he questions.
- That's the thing, I don't know. It's Klyn, or at least it sounds like him. I know he's dead, there's no possible way it's him, but it's there and I just can't get rid of it. It mostly only speaks when I'm alone or very stressed. – I explain.
- What does it say? – he asks, intrigued.
- That I'm a killer.... – I tell him, ashamed. – That I don't deserve to be loved. That I'll end up killing everyone I care about... - tears begin forming in my eyes.
- Babe. – his hand gently grabs my cheek. – You're not a killer. – he says sweetly.
- How can you be so sure? – I ask, freaking out a little.
- Because I've seen killers before... - he stares at me in the eye. – and you're not one. You are the sweetest, nicest, and most loving person in the entire world. – his gaze is so strong; I feel like he's looking at my soul.
- But I killed Klyn. – I mutter.
- He was going to kill Nymeria; you did what was right, you saved her. – he states. – What you're having is called a warrior's consciousness. It's completely normal to feel guilty or scared after a fight and it's common to see hallucinations or hear voices. – he assures me lovingly. – Killing is an awful sensation. Taking another person's life can be devastating for the soul. I never wanted you to feel that. – he says.
- I hate it... - I say, tears falling.
- I know... but it'll go away. I promise. – he assures and I can't help but cry.
We kiss one last meaningful time. It's filled with love and care. For a while, there's nothing else that matters. That's until I remember my mate is fully naked and I'm almost there. Nasty thoughts circle through my mind and I smirk during the kiss. My dick starts to get hard just thinking about it and I can even smell a little arousal coming from Caleb. He's thinking just what I'm thinking. We break the kiss, and I just can't help but look down. There, in front of me, Caleb's huge cock is growing. Damn, that thing is massive. I feel my ears warm. My eyes trail through his hot body back to his eyes. A smirk grows on his face, making me blush. Fuck, he's so hot! There are so many things I want to do with him now, that I want him to do to me...Wait, not now Nathan. I shake the thoughts away. He stands up as well and my eyes immediately look down, taking one more look at his cock. It is so big and thick, I drool internally. No, snap out of it, Nathan. You're not having sex with Caleb in the bathroom... at least not the first time.
- We should probably get ready... - I say, not fully convinced.
- Are you sure? We still have time. – his sexy husky voice sends chills down my spine. He gets closer, his hands on my waist – I can help you shower if you want. – he whispers seductively.
- Yes... - the words slip out of my mind. – No, we shouldn't. Your family is right outside, what if they hear us? – I point out.
- The walls are soundproof, and we can turn on the shower just in case. – he states, getting closer.
- We'd be wasting a lot of water... - I say
- Like it matters. – he gets closer. I can feel his cock rubbing against mine through the fabric and it's hard to breathe.
- What if they want to go to the bathroom? They could walk in on us. – I try.
- There's one downstairs. – he's closer.
- There can be an emergency. –
- Highly unlikely. – I can feel his breath, our mouths only inches apart.
- Ummm... –
I'm running out of excuses and my wolf is screaming at me to just go for it. My heartbeats fasten, and I can feel myself losing control. My instinct is screaming at me, every inch of my body aches for his touch. We stare into each other's eyes so closely; that I can see my reflection. His eyes flash blue for a second, a sign of his wolf and there's nothing I desire more than him right now. If I couldn't breathe earlier, I plain out forgot how to now. I'm holding my breath, my heart pounding in my chest. In desperation, I decide to go for the Hail Mary... literally.
- Mary wants to speak with you. – I blurt out, closing my eyes.
- What? – he asks, separating his face a little.
- Am... Mary... wanted to ask you something. So, yeah, she asked me to tell you. – I mumble stupidly. I can't think straight right now. He chuckles amusingly.
- Fine. I'll go see what she wants. – he says, stepping out of the shower. Grabbing a towel and putting it around his waist. He turns around, with a smirk. – But next time, you won't get away that easily. – he says sexily in his husky voice.
He grabs a second towel and wipes the excess water off the rest of his body. His grayish-blue eyes land on me one last time, inspecting me from top to bottom. A faint smile is drawn on his face before walking outside and closing the door behind him. My body weight falters, and I lean back against the wall. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and slowly slid down to the ground. My hormones are all over the place and I can't think clearly. My Goddess, what am I going to do?
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