CHAPTER 36 - GOODBYE
"So, how does it feel like being married not just to a mafia, but to the boss?" Beatrice asked as she sat beside me.
After Theo left, Lukas followed him to only God knows where. Leaving me alone with Beatrice and her thought-provoking question that I didn't know how to respond to.
So. Where do I begin answering this question?
Oh did you know I wasn't supposed to be married to Theo? But for some unknown reason, he claimed the role of being my husband and now put me in the position of having to make some very difficult decisions about our relationship.
Also, out of nowhere, he laid down an offer for my so-called freedom from him without any warnings or further discussion. Which only brought confusion and chaos to my mind! I had no idea how to make sense of the situation or even handle it.
I mean, why now? Why after a year?
Was there something so significant about it? Something drastic changed to make them do this now?
Is the Don and the family even aware of his plans?
But of course I couldn't just voice my concerns to her--especially when the topic was about someone she looks up to.
So instead, I answered honestly but vaguely, "It was challenging."
"Oh I can't imagine what you're going through right now. Yeah, Theo is my absolute favorite cousin--no doubt about that, but he was actually the hardest person to read. I mean, it was really difficult to know what he was thinking or feeling. I guess because he is the intelligent type? He was always so guarded and private--like he never wanted to let anyone in. Also, his emotions were constantly hidden and pretty tough to decipher."
The way Beatrice described Theo was so spot on. He was really like that--cold and reserved, and shockingly, not just for me. All this time, I thought he was indifferent because of this arranged marriage, and obviously because he already had someone else before I came into the picture.
But Beatrice's words gave me a sense of enlightenment; it made me realize that this was just Theo's personality. He wasn't intentionally cold or uninterested to me, he was just being himself.
But then, how certain am I that he treats everyone like this? Of course someone would be an exemption, right?
Not me, that's for sure.
"You know, we were so convinced he wouldn't settle down. He was so firm on that. He said it would only interfere with his future plans. So imagine how shocked we were when the Don announced that Theo had finally changed his mind. He would marry but on one condition, he specifically wanted the Astoria bride-you. And no one knows why." Beatrice sips her wine and continues. "Of course the Don just agreed without asking further questions. Why would he when his heir finally agreed to marry, right? But everything was according to Theo's wishes. Even the wedding privacy and how it should be kept for the family only."
Like Lukas, Beatrice said the same thing. And hearing it again from the same family member made me wonder what or who had changed Theo's mind.
And why only me?
He was keen on marrying me before, but now, with just one word from me, he was ready to let go.
Was I just a pawn in his game? Was I just a tool for him to use and discard at his whim?
The thought filled me with a deep sense of annoyance and frustration.
Was I just an experiment? Or maybe an instrument to make Penelope jealous?
Damn it!
How come all my reasoning always falls on her?
He could have married her instead of me!
I wanted to walk away, storm off, but a big part of me wanted to stay and hear the rest of what Beatrice had to say. This could finally help me make my decision.
"Was there someone before me? A girlfriend or something?" I asked. I wanted to be straightforward and ask if she knew Penelope, but this seemed like a less confrontational approach.
Beatrice seemed deep in thought before answering my question. "There was a girl, but he never talked about her. No one even dared to ask. Grandfather even hoped she could change Theo's mind about marriage someday. But, it turns out, Theo has high standards. He chose a much better one for the family." Her smile got wider as she said this. "I heard you were a very gifted pianist. Your skills were exceptional! And I bet if you didn't marry Theo, you would be this country's pride!"
I wanted to go back to the topic of that girl. Elaborating on it further, but Beatrice had already drifted off the topic and I couldn't get back without explaining why I was so invested in it. So instead, I let it go and thanked her for her sweet compliments.
"I hope it's all worth it, Amelia. Giving up your dreams for him. Theo could be difficult most of the time. Especially that he seems he has trained himself well to be this cold and unaffectionate mafia boss that he has programmed in his cells. But," Beatrice smiled at me again. "You're doing so well thawing his frozen heart. I see that you are slowly peeling away the layers of defense he has built around himself and I can already see the changes in him."
Her words surprised me. I never expected to have that kind of effect on Theo. I mean, I hadn't seen any changes in him, at least not that I could tell. I was beginning to believe that maybe Beatrice might be wrong. "What do you mean?" I couldn't help but ask.
She leaned on the couch and swirled her wine glass before she answered. "Well, for starters, I haven't seen him so affectionate and care for someone so openly. I saw how he put those foods on your plate, and he even filled your glass with water without you even asking for it. I've never seen him be so attentive to others. Also, awhile ago, I noticed how he put his arms around you and play with your hair. I don't think he's ever done that to anyone before. Theo would never!" Beatrice finished with a laugh.
And I laughed with her, awkwardly, unsure of how to respond.
"Yeah, he could be very authoritative at times, and even down right commanding and strict. But we know, deep down, Theo is only doing this because he cares and wants the best for us, isn't he? Annoying, but even I can't deny that he is always right about things."
I nodded in agreement and drank the rest of my wine. I am really out of words. Aside from that, I didn't want to say anything that would interfere with Beatrice's stories and opinions about Theo. Not when I need them.
"There's one thing I won't forget about what happened weeks ago. Theo dragged me to the hospital for a check-up that I refused to go for. I was being stubborn, but no one ever wins when it comes to Theo's persistence. His way or no way. Always been like that. In the end, I was taken to the hospital."
Weeks ago?
Hospital?
I recalled the day I confronted Theo about being with someone at the hospital.
"Why would I deny it? The last thing I want to do is lie to you, okay? So yes. I'm with someone else."
Could it be?
"Which hospital?" I asked for clarity. I could feel my heart racing as I waited for her answer and wishing and hoping my guesses were right.
"St. Katherine's Hospital, where else." Beatrice answered. "I had my ovaries checked because I had been bleeding lately. I only told Theo about this. I wasn't even sure if it was the brightest idea, but I was so glad I did. I know he is the only one who could convince me to go. If it wasn't for him, I would continue to live in fear. My mom died of cancer, you know. So I'm afraid of doing some test that could possibly lead to bad news. But now, all is clear. Thanks to your persistent and authoritative husband." She raised her glass and drank what was left of her wine.
I was so happy for Beatrice. I also told her how courageous and strong she was for taking the test and facing her fears.
Additionally, her confirming she was at the hospital made me feel like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
Theo was with Beatrice.
That someone is not Penelope.
So. Is this information enough to stay?
* * * * * *
I stared at my bedside lamp as I replayed my conversation with Beatrice in my head. I gathered a lot from it, and honestly, I felt like I learned more about Theo from just that conversation than I had in the past year of knowing him.
Well, I only spoke with Selena about this, and all we talked about was my terrible decision of marrying Theo. Not even once have we talked about the good things he does for me.
Isn't it funny how Beatrice noticed the changes in Theo's persona just by looking at us? Then again, perhaps she was only looking at those hours. How do hours compare to a year, right?
I closed my eyes and was ready to call it a day, but was surprised when I heard the door to my room open. I heard footsteps coming closer and closer. But even when my eyes were closed, I could tell who it was by their distinct scent and the sound of their footsteps.
Theo.
I kept my eyes shut, not really ready for another confrontation with him. What if he demands an answer now? I still haven't thought of it yet!
Please just go away. I plead.
But, as if luck wasn't on my side, instead of leaving, I felt his weight on my bed and he leaned in closer to me. I could feel his breath on my face and my heart began to race.
"Goodbye, Lia. Take care." He whispered as he kissed my forehead, his lips lingering for a moment before he pulled away.
What?
I fought the urge to open my eyes and demand what he meant by his words.
What was he trying to say? Was this goodbye forever?
Did he make the decision?
"What do you mean by that?" Pain and frustration took over me, which made me sit up from my bed and confront him.
Theo was nearing the door, ready to leave, but he span around quickly at the sound of my outburst. He looked surprised and said, "You're awake."
I rolled my eyes at his infuriating response and answered back, "Yes, I'm awake and I heard what you said. Goodbye? Is that what you want?" My breathing was heavy as I knelt on my bed. My fists clenched at my side as I faced him.
Theo slowly walked towards the bed. His eyes were trained on me, studying me. I could feel my stomach churning and my heart beating furiously as if it was about to burst out of my chest.
"Every night, whenever I go on a mission, I always go to our room. To say the same words and do the same thing."
I frowned at what he said, not really understanding what he was getting at.
"In case I don't come back alive, at least I said my goodbyes," he continued.
Theo was standing in front of me now, so close that I could feel his breath on my face.
"Every night?" I asked, my voice breaking.
"Every night," he repeated, his lips dangerously close to mine. "That way, even if I don't return, I can say I said goodbye."
"Next time, wake me up," I told him.
I felt Theo's fingers tuck my hair behind my ear. "Next time?"
I closed my eyes and nodded. "Yes, next time, whenever you go on a mission, don't forget to wake me up." I wasn't sure, but this feels like a declaration of my decision to him.
"Are you sure?" Theo's voice was deep and dark, and I could hear the concern in his tone.
"Every time you're going out and I'm sleeping, wake me up so we can both say our goodbyes." I opened my eyes and was met with his hypnotizing emerald gaze. His eyes were so intense that I felt like I could tell him anything.
I put my hand on his cheek and courageously leaned in to give him a soft and quick kiss on his other cheek. But it fell on his lips, catching both of us off guard.
That was the first time we actually kissed.
We stared at each other for a few seconds, not sure what to do next. But when I was about to pull away, Theo wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me back closer to him.
"Take care when I'm gone." He said.
"No. Make sure you come back to take care of me." I answer in a whisper.
"For you, I will."
And with that, Theo captured my lips with his, sealing the promise with a passionate kiss.
-END OF CHAPTER 36-
A/N: Is this the right decision? Oh Amelia, what have you done?!! What do you think will happen next? Share your thoughtssss! I know you are hating on Theo now, and I can't wait for the next chapters to come and see your reactions!
Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Love you all!
Want to read the advance chapters? Check out my Patreon Account: notjustarandomgirl (link will be posted in Bio), now on Chapter 47!