Written: January 12, 2024
In the next few weeks, North continued to see glitches. Everything always seemed to shift positions. He could still see with his empty eye socket, which troubled him deeply. He kept pushing the hallucinations down as insomnia, hoping it was true.
"Good morning, sleepyhead!" Japan exclaimed as North walked into the living room.
North gave a nod in response, trying to ignore the unsettling glitches he still witnessed around him.
"Did you take your medicine?" Japan asked, noticing North's reluctance.
North hesitated for a moment before admitting, "No, I don't like taking it."
Japan sighed, a hint of frustration in her voice. "You need to grow up, North. Your health is at stake here, and you're not doing yourself any favors by ignoring it."
"I'll be fine," North mumbled, avoiding Japan's gaze.
"This isn't something to be casual about," Japan insisted, her tone firm. "You need to take care of yourself, especially with these hallucinations you're experiencing. It's not just about you anymore."
North remained silent, his discomfort evident. The tension hung heavy in the air, emphasizing the growing strain in their relationship.
"I'm okay, really." North Korea mumbled again.
"You always had a screw loose, North," Japan sighed as she grabbed a bottle of pills, approaching North. "but this time, it's going to be the death of you." She leapt at him, cornering the country. Japan clutched the pill bottle, her intentions clear.
"I care, North," Japan sighed, her tone softening as she gently reached for North's hand, the bottle of pills held loosely between her fingers. "I know you don't like taking them, but it's for your well-being. Please, just this once?" She offered the bottle to him, her eyes pleading with genuine concern.
North Korea huffed. "You said that every day last month." He crossed his arms in refusal, the carpet beneath him distorting, looking like a kaleidoscope. His frustration was palpable, his hallucinations worsening.
"Please, North," Japan pleaded, her voice tinged with worry. "I know it's been tough, but I'm genuinely concerned about you. Just a pill, for me?" She held the bottle closer, her expression pleading for North to reconsider.
North grumbled and accepted the pills. Japan, offering a small smile as gratitude, got him some tea to swallow the pills with.
As North swallowed the pills with the help of Japan's calming demeanor, the door burst open with a flurry of commotion. South barged in, Oki sitting on his shoulders, both laughing uncontrollably. They were tangled in an impromptu game, spinning and chasing each other around the room, completely heedless of the tension hanging in the air.
"Whoa, slow down, you two!" Japan snapped, her tone sharper than usual. "This isn't a playground. You're gonna distract North and he'll choke!"
South halted, his face turning sheepish as Oki climbed off his shoulders, giggling. "Sorry, sorry! We got a bit carried away, didn't we, Oki?"
"Yeah, we did!" Oki grinned, twirling around before noticing North's gaze. She sobered up and waved shyly.
North, caught between exasperation and amusement, rolled his eyes at the chaotic scene unfolding before him.
"Anyway," South said. "we finished making breakfast."
"Hah. How many fire extinguishers did you use?" Japan scoffed. South Korea shoved his sister.
"It was that ONE TIME, like, three months ago." He exclaimed. Okinawa sped to North, trapping him in a hug.
Okinawa clung to North, peppering him with rapid-fire questions. "North, did you sleep well? Why do you have that grumpy face? Can I braid your hair? It's so short though. What's your favorite color? Oh right, your favorite color is Communism. Is it true that you can see glitches?"
North, trying to keep up with the barrage, chuckled. "Oki, slow down! One question at a time."
"But I have so many!" She beamed, unfazed. North sighed, trying to answer her questions amidst her relentless curiosity. North noticed that Okinawa was her normal self again: Always asking questions and never sitting still.
"Also, I saw Habu Babu outside the window slithering in the grass." She motioned her arm, pretending it was a snake.
North raised an eyebrow. "Habu Babu?"
"Yeah!" Okinawa giggled. "He was hissing like this!" She imitated a snake's hiss, much to North's amusement.
"Alright, alright," North chuckled. "Maybe we should leave Habu Babu alone. He's just minding his own business."
South, overhearing, joined in. "Habu Babu on a secret mission!"
Japan shook her head. "Stop that nonsense, both of you." She turned to North. "Are you feeling better, though?"
"I am, thanks," North nodded. "Just trying to manage things."
"Like seeing glitches?" Okinawa asked, wide-eyed.
North hesitated, not wanting to worry her. "Oh, that's nothing. Probably just my imagination." North chuckled and shook his head, glad for the distraction despite the surreal glitches that continued to haunt him.
"Well, let's see what South and Oki made for breakfast." Japan interjected. Okinawa zoomed off North and followed Japan. South shrugged and went along, North following close behind.
The group made their way to the kitchen, the acrid scent of burnt toast faintly lingering in the air. Okinawa was already bouncing around the table, trying to peer into the pans and pots.
"What's on the menu today, chefs?" North grinned, trying to peek over Okinawa's shoulder.
"We've got... uh... scrambled eggs, or something that used to be scrambled eggs," South announced proudly, presenting a slightly burnt but nonetheless edible dish.
"And here, behold!" Okinawa proudly displayed a plate with pancakes of all shapes and sizes, some a bit more charred than golden brown. "Ta-da! The great pancake mosaic!"
Japan inspected the spread with a mix of amusement and concern. "I see you've outdone yourselves again."
"They're a unique culinary experience!" South defended his creation.
North chuckled. "Well, I appreciate the effort, guys. Let's dig in before the health inspector gets here to critique your cooking skills."
The siblings laughed and started their breakfast, enjoying the chaotic start to the day together. Okinawa was discussing how snakes shed skin in the most colorful detail the siblings have ever heard. South Korea felt queasy just imagining the explanation. Japan listened, barely grasping the prefecture's words, and North reacted indifferently. He cared for his sister, of course, but he didn't express it as openly as society would appreciate.
As Okinawa vividly described the intricacies of snake shedding, South's expression turned a shade greener with each passing word. Japan, trying to keep up with the topic, nodded occasionally, although her mind seemed preoccupied with something else.
North listened attentively but maintained a stoic demeanor. His mind drifted between concern for Okinawa's wellbeing and the peculiar visions he'd been experiencing lately. Despite his inner turmoil, he managed a faint smile at Okinawa's enthusiasm.
"Ah, fascinating stuff, Oki." North interjected, trying to gently steer the conversation away. "But perhaps we could save the snake talk for later? We've got a 'pancake mosaic' to savor."
Okinawa nodded eagerly, her eyes alight with excitement. "Sure thing, North! I'll save the rest for after breakfast!"
The siblings resumed their meal, the chatter shifting to lighter subjects, accompanied by occasional chuckles and shared glances, finding comfort in their chaotic yet endearing family dynamics.
After washing the dishes and throwing out exploded kitchenware, Japan went off to work, taking Okinawa along so she could go to school. North and South scoured the house for a pencil to use in class since they either lost them, or had them stolen by desperate classmates.
"I found some!" South called out from Japan's room. He approached North with a handful of sangria pencils. "I don't think Japan would mind, would she?" North shrugged.
"Sharing is caring." He said, snatching a few pencils from South's hand and shoving them in his pocket.
South grinned. "She probably won't even notice. Besides, we'll return them."
North nodded in agreement, tucking the pencils into his pocket. "Let's just hope they don't explode in class like last time."
South chuckled, recalling the previous mishaps they'd had with pencils. "We'll be cautious this time. Can't have another 'pencil incident' in school."
The brothers exchanged a knowing look, sharing a silent agreement to be extra careful with the borrowed pencils. With a nod to each other, they made their way out of Japan's room and headed for school, ready to tackle the day armed with the borrowed writing utensils.
In the car, South Korea blurted, "Why do you think those pencils exploded that one time?" North pondered for a moment, trying to recall the peculiar incident. "Maybe it was some sort of faulty design or manufacturing issue. Or perhaps they were stored incorrectly, who knows?"
South raised an eyebrow. "But it's not like they were firecrackers, right?"
North chuckled, shaking his head. "No, definitely not firecrackers. Maybe it was just a bizarre coincidence. Let's hope today's pencils behave themselves."
As they approached the school, the brothers chuckled about their previous adventures with unpredictable stationery. They agreed to keep an eye on the borrowed pencils, hoping for a less eventful day in class.
When they parted ways with the usual hug at the campus, North met with Russia. He greeted her with a gentle squeeze on the hand. Russia noticed the pencils in North's pocket and chuckled.
"Let me guess: These ones are loaded with gunpowder." She pointed to the pencils in North's pocket.
"It's Japanese engineering." North shrugged. "Far less likely to explode."
"Sure," Russia said in a teasing tone. "Still going to assume they're mini ballistic missiles just to be safe." North Korea shoved Russia.
"Quiet, child." He growled.
"I'm older than you." Russia quipped, shoving back. North Korea glared and a perceptible blush dusted his cheeks.
"By two months." He mumbled. Russia, feeling a little pitiful, trapped North in a hug.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of." She reassured. "Just look at my siblings! Ukraine is older than Belarus, but is still kinda stupid...well, they're both idiots, but you know what I mean!" This caused North to chuckle. He returned the hug, firmly holding onto Russia.
"I get it." He affirmed. He traced circles on the taller country's back. There was a moment of tranquility between them. They were wrapped in each other's arms, silent. No words were needed; They understood each other completely. Eventually, Russia pulled away, gently squeezing North's hand before going to the School of Mining.
"See you soon, North!" She called out, waving. Surprisingly, Russia did not run into a wall or trip over an invisible shoelace.
"See you!" North waved back, heading to class. He felt giddy about the coming day. The country headed off to class, mindful of the fact that the pencils in his pocket may or may not explode. As soon as he got to class, he slammed the notebook on the desk, listening for notes.
The professor's articulate voice echoed through the room as he explained the different forms of government. North Korea jotted down key points with his borrowed pencil. He focused on every word the professor said, filtering the key points from the lecture. In the end, North Korea had a page and a half full of what a democracy, republic, dictatorship, and oligarchy were.
The professor cleared his throat and scratched his beard. In a gravelly voice, he ended the lecture with, "Read pages 125-130 tonight, class." On the corner of the page, North Korea jotted down the textbook pages he had to read.
The day went on as it normally would: Lectures, endless debates, and the side eyes he'd receive. North Korea kept a level head and walked through the halls, the faint whispers of the students dancing around his mind.
"It's that Communist freak again."
"Nuke me harder, Daddy."
"He thinks he's so tough never smiling at all."
"I hope America will do something about him soon."
"I wonder how miserable his brother is having to deal with him 27/7."
North Korea gritted his teeth in an attempt to subdue his growing rage. It was all too much for him; Especially the comments about South. "I should be used to it by now." He thought, choking back envy. "Everyone's always been crazy about South." North attempted to purge the thoughts of his brother. The brother everyone loved. He heard faint voices dancing on the edge of his consciousness. All his envy was bubbling up as he left the campus.
"Why can't you be more like your brother?"
"I'm surprised you're related to that monster, South."
"Look! It's the angel and devil!"
"South yelled at you? Don't switch roles, Commie."
"What do you mean 'South did it?' Of course it was North! He's always the one fucking up."
"Imagine if both of them were likable."
"Uh, North?" South Korea's voice drugged North back into reality. "You seem upset." He reached out to touch his brother. North Korea didn't respond. He was simply too deep in his envy. He felt like it was suffocating. He was drowning.
South Korea, with concern in his gaze, saw the shadow cast over his brother's face. He placed another hand on him, hoping he wouldn't flinch away. Slowly, South ensnared North in a hug. "I have no idea why you're upset, but I'm here for you." He said breathily.
"Ironic." North thought, huffing internally. "You're the reason I'm upset." North didn't realize the low growl in his throat, or South ripping off his arms from his body. Without another word, the twins entered the car, the tension as thick as molasses in the air.
North perceived a few glitches as he drowned in his anger. The stop signs were a bright lime green, the sun was a curious shade of turquoise, and his dark clothes were now the colors of the rainbow. As quickly as it began, the glitches returned to normal.
South Korea felt as if there were hands wrapped around his neck. The tension was suffocating, and the silence didn't help.
North Korea was seeing red, his heart pretty much in flames. North was no stranger to envy; In fact, he'd been feeling it ever since he could remember. The resentment towards his twin, the resentment towards Japan, and the heavy boulder of hate when he thought of how lucky America was to be able to get away with the things he did.
"I shouldn't hate them—well, America is an exception." He growled in the depths of his mind. "I just don't understand why I have the world against me. The sanctions, the bans, everything! All because I'm 'different.' I hate it."
North felt his chest tightening whenever he looked at South. South had his eyes on the road, but his mind on North. "Why is he so angry? I didn't hear about any fights today." He shuffled through the possibilities. South glanced at his brother, who had that shadow over his face, his muscles tense, tears wanting to escape but refusing to.
"North?" South Korea cut the silence. "What's wrong?" His teeth chewed at his lower lip in anticipation. North Korea didn't answer. He just kept staring into the distance, the same darkened expression remaining.
South Korea sighed in frustration. "I can't help you if you don't tell me why you're so upset."
"You CAN'T help." North thought. "You'd never understand." He kept staring into the distance, the adrenaline of envy slithering through his veins.
South Korea sighed. "You're impossible sometimes, North." The siblings arrived home, parking the car under a peeling poplar tree. The twins went inside. It was quiet in the house. Too quiet.
"North-"
North Korea stormed into his room before South could begin his statement. He opened the textbook, wanting an excuse to avoid South. He pulled at his hair as he skimmed over the pages, barely grasping the concept. He had no idea how long he reread those five pages until Japan and Okinawa entered. He heard his siblings exchange greetings and Okinawa dashing to greet him.
North Korea tugged at his hair, staring blankly at the page. There were just lines. No words, no key terms, just those everloving squiggles he was too blinded by anger to comprehend.
"Hiya, North!" Okinawa ran over to hug her brother. North Korea kept staring at the textbook. Okinawa peered over. "Those are some loooooong words!" She commented. "What does 'balkanization' even mean?" North Korea just continued to tense up. Okinawa noticed this and pressed on North's arm with as much force as she could muster.
"Your arms are not squishy." She strained. "It's like you did a gazillion push ups!" She continued to poke North, marvelling at how firm his body was. North Korea, with the tiny fingers of Okinawa pressing the buttons of his anger, stood up, causing the chair to fall backwards. He forcefully took Okinawa's wrist and threw her aside.
"Stop touching me!" He snapped, the walls shaking. Okinawa, eyes wide, took a step back. She was curious and alarmed at her brother's action. South Korea and Japan ran to the source of the rattling to see a fallen chair, a frozen Okinawa, and a hyperventilating North Korea.
"North!" South exclaimed. North Korea slowly turned to look at his brother, no remorse in his eye. The envy continued to grow as he bared his gritted teeth. "Why are you so mad?" South Korea cautiously approached his twin, reaching out.
Smack.
North Korea's arm swung back, having slapped South. "Shut the fuck up." He growled. Japan stromed through the threshold and slapped North square across the face.
"You cursed in front of Okinawa!" She shouted. North Korea felt the tears building up evaporating to the flames of his turmoiled heart. He clenched his fists and threw a punch at Japan's stomach.
"Don't you yell at me!" He shrieked. Okinawa, frozen in fear, began to melt. There was a sniffle, a sea of unshed tears, and finally a loud wail from her as she ran to South. South Korea kneeled, petting Okinawa's hair. He whispered some words of comfort. The prefecture dashed behind her brother, gazing up at North.
"I will yell at you!" Japan shook a fist as if to hit North. "There's always something wrong with you for fuck's sake!" She slapped North with the back of her hand, causing the younger country to stumble back. North Korea's labored breaths got heavier, the fire within him flaring. Without warning, he grabbed Japan's hair and yanked at it, causing the nation to fall to her knees. He, then, kicked her once and glared.
Okinawa clutched at the fabric of South's trousers, shaking as violently as a vibrating phone. The tears slipped down her cheeks. She hid her face behind South, her face contorted in gloom. Japan attacked North's legs with a pounce, toppling him over. North Korea hit the ground with a thud.
"How dare you," Japan snarled. "How dare you just push me like that!" Blinded by rage, Japan pressed her forearm against North's throat. North clawed at his sister's arm before grabbing onto a handful of her hair. The Japanese girl yelped out in pain, letting go of North's neck.
South Korea stood there with Okinawa hiding behind him. His eyes were wide with shock. It looked all too familiar to him. The day he walked in when his parents were fighting. The memory flashed before him.
_______
"Japan, stop!" Joseon had tearfully yelled. Imperial Japan had the Korean pinned to a wall, hands around her neck.
"Shut up, woman!" Imperial Japan had barked. There was a sharp slap that echoed through the area. South Korea was at the door, watching the scene. He had stepped inside the chilled house–a relief from the evening humidity.
"Amma?" Was the word he regretted to utter. Imperial Japan and Joseon snapped their necks at the speed of light to see South, frozen in fear. Imperial Japan groaned, letting go of Joseon and pushing her to the ground.
"What do you want now?" Imperial Japan had barked. "I thought I told you to stay outside!" He yelled, rattling the house. South Korea was so terrified to the point where he couldn't cry. He glanced over at Joseon, who was struggling to hold back tears.
"I-I came to get-to get wa-w-wa-water." South Korea had stuttered. Imperial Japan forced his son into the kitchen. South hurriedly grabbed a glass and filled it with water.
That's when he heard it.
It was foreign to him, but he knew exactly what it was: The sounds of his mother's sobs. Then, the sound of her gasping for air as Imperial Japan kicked her. The cup of water shaked in his hands.
"Hurry up, you brat!" He heard his father scream. South had never felt his heart beating so fast in his life. He rushed to the door, only to see North gaping at the sight of his parents.
"We have to get out of here, NOW!" South grabbed his brother's arm and ran a few blocks down the road back to Japan. The eldest was impatiently tapping her foot, though there was worry in her eyes.
"What took you so long, South?" She had asked. "North got so worried that he went looking for you!" The twins glanced at each other, knowing what the consequences would be for all three of them if they ratted their father out...
_______
Growling, South Korea peeled Japan off of North, lunging at him. The memory replayed in his head, the words only echoing louder as he remembered them. "You are a monster!" South Korea shouted. He punched his twin on his jaw.
North Korea reached a breaking point he didn't think he had. He thought he already reached it by yelling at Okinawa, but no. This was much worse. He dug his nails into South's arms his grip like a vice.
"I'm so tired of being compared to you all the time! You're the perfect one, and I'm always the 'lesser' twin. I can't take it anymore!" North shouted. "It's not fair that you always get everything, while I'm just everyone's scapegoat! I'm done being the 'bad guy!' You may be the favorite, but I'm just as good as you are, and I'm tired of being treated like I'm not! Do you hear me?! Do you?!"
South Korea's gaze softened. The anger was no longer present in his powder-blue eyes. He relaxed his tense muscles and sighed. "Look, North, I had no idea that I'm the cause of-"
"Stop it!" North interrupted. "Stop acting like you didn't notice!" North Korea pushed South to the door.
"But North!" South raised his voice. "I didn't-I didn't know you were so upset over this!" He tried to reach out to touch his brother's shoulder. Instead, he was pushed away, the breath leaving his lungs.
"I'm sick of everyone playing favorites!" North's tears blinded him.
"North, please," South pleaded. "let me help!" He walked back over to North. North Korea was hunched over his desk, his nails digging into its surface.
"No!" He shouted, throwing a glass cup of water at South.
There was a jingling shatter.
A spillage of water.
Glass everywhere.
Blood dripping down South's hands, which he used to protect his face.
Okinawa was crying hysterically at this point, clinging to Japan. The room was otherwise heavy with an awkward silence, the shattered glass sprawled across the ground, the blood and water mixing together, and the twins staring at each other.
North with hate.
South with sorrow.
Japan held onto the crying Okinawa, patting her back and rocking her back and forth. Before anyone could speak up, Okinawa's sobbing halted. She glared at North Korea.
"You're mean," She sneered with a tear-streaked face. "just like Otō."
At that moment, the flame in North Korea's eyes left. He began to notice what he'd done. South standing in front of him, bleeding; Glass, scattered on the ground; Okinawa, glaring at him with resent. Her tears welled up in her eyes; Japan, shaking her head. North Korea's breath hitched.
"I won't make you cry."
"I'm not like him."
He remembered his promise. He stared at Okinawa, then at South, then at Japan. He had hurt them all. He wasn't like their father. He was three times worse. Breaths shaky, words couldn't form in North's mind. A simple sorry wouldn't cover the broken promise.
North Korea dashed out of his room, not minding the glass cutting into his feet. He ran outside, watching his hands go white with vertical red stripes, like his father's. Tears pricked his eyes as he ran.
"I'm not him..." Tears blurred his eyes as he tried to reassure himself. "I'm not my father." He kept repeating, as if it would take back everything that he did. The weight in his chest grew, dispersing throughout his body. His legs felt like lead. North Korea crumpled to the ground, a trail of blood behind him. He let his envy and anger take him over.
All because of the whispers in the halls that day. He felt intense guilt. "I don't want to be like him." He choked out. "B-But I am him already. Worse than him."
Like the glass cup North threw, his stoic walls shattered, leaving him on his knees on the sidewalk, crying like he never did before.
The purpose of this chapter was to get into North's mind. How angry he can get, his soft side, and the most human of them all: Envy.
I hope it was effective enough QwQ
One more thing before I stop bothering you with this author's note: Is it bad I'm writing the envy part from experience? For me, it just hits too close to home.