Chapter Twenty-Five
"I'm ready." I said as I slipped past the gate and into the dew covered grass.
"How are you certain this plan is going to work?" Mariel asked.
"Trust me, it's gonna work. This is the only way he'll be able to cross over without feeling he needs to stay behind. It's been two days, Mariel. I can't avoid him forever and I really do need to sleep." I reminded her.
I rubbed my eyes and yawned as I hurried over to the large mausoleum. Jeremiah had handed over the key easily when I had explained to him my plan. He wanted me to have peace as much as he wanted Gunner to have peace as well. He had stopped visiting his resting place after I had mentioned that Gunner thought he still had unfinished business with him.
"I don't want him to think I am holding him back, I want my brother to rest." He had said.
When the gate came into view I stopped in front of it and took a deep breath. I put the key in and opened the creaky metal gate in a rush. Without hesitation I made it over to his resting place and lit the small oil lamp I had brought.
I felt the drowsiness slowly overpowering me as I walked over to his plaque. "I can't do this." I said as I felt my emotions overpower me.
"Keep it together, Mindy. It's the only way." Mariel encouraged.
"I know, but I can't, Mariel. I can't let him go." I whimpered.
My fist pounded over his plaque and a small crack slowly split between his name. I felt myself slowly lose strength on my legs. Hugging my knees I rested my head back and closed my eyes.
"How do humans deal with broken hearts? How do they simply let go of something that was fated?" I asked.
"They do not have mates. They have partners, the human heart is easy to adapt to change. Some grieve over their loss and others move on without a second thought, because unlike them, they are not made for one person like we are. Our very souls are woven together, it is how we imprint and recognize our mate. Humans slowly build up to falling in love, they are bonded together until death. We are united even then. It is why Gunner still remains in the great beyond," Mariel explained.
"Until I find someone or join him." I hiccuped.
"Yes."
Wiping my eyes I groaned and sat there looking around the large room. I detested this idea more than anything, but it was time to finally let go.
"Here goes nothing." I muttered.
I was suddenly in a large crowd. My eyes looked about to find all the happy couples dancing all around me. I dressed in my same old clothes. I felt out of place as they waltzed and smiled as if they took no notice I was there. I felt my heart speed up the instant I felt his hand on my shoulder.
Taking a deep breath I turned to face him only to find him dressed in a beautiful blue suit. A blood red rose rested in his pocket as he took my hand and smiled.
"I thought I'd never see you again." He said. The words cut me deeply as I smiled and fought to contain my tears.
"I feel a little under dressed." I said.
"Let's take a walk, tell me about your days." He chuckled.
I nodded and Gunner led me towards a pair of french glass doors. When we stepped outside I sighed to feel the sunlight on my skin. I would forever miss the feel of it.
"I have big news." I said a bit nervous.
"I am all ears." He replied, letting his hand reach for mine.
I allowed his fingers to entwine with mine as I held my breath and relished the warmth of his skin touching mine. My heart was fighting to push my plan astray.
"I've...I don't know where to start ." I said.
Gunner stopped walking and looked at me, his smile slowly falling into a confused pout I found...cute. I knew I was in deep the moment I thought it. I had never taken a single glance at his mouth, but now it seemed inviting and perfectly shaped. I bit my lip and forced my gaze to look away. However, his fingers never allowed my gaze to go astray as he took my chin and lifted it up.
"You found someone." He whispered.
I smiled and pulled my chin from his touch as I put my hands into my pockets and nodded. "Yeah, I did." I replied.
A nervous chuckle was his reply as I fought to contain my tears. I wanted to desperately see the look on his face but I couldn't bring myself to do it just yet as I began to walk again. He followed along as I took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
"Who is he?" He asked.
"Will it bring you closure if I tell you?" I said.
"Yes, I need to make certain that you are safe." He replied.
I looked at Gunner then and his blue eyes looked back into mine. My heart was splitting in half as I allowed him to see what I was feeling. We stood there looking at one another for a long time before he broke our gaze and lowered it.
"Wow, never mind. I don't need to know. The look in your eyes...says it all. I can tell you feel safe with him, what more evidence do I need?" He said.
"H-how do you feel?" I asked in a shaky tone.
Gunner looked away and sighed. His eyes gazed to the sun light suddenly pouring in our direction. I knew what was happening as I watched the soothing light touch his skin. I felt my tears pouring when he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Mindy, I am glad you have finally found someone to trust and love. It makes me happy and it brings closure to my worries."
"So...is this goodbye?" I asked.
"You know, I heard Jeremiah say something to me a few days ago. No matter how hard I tried to reply he couldn't hear me. Tell him I heard every word and that I understand." He said.
"What did he say?"
"He told me that you had finally found yourself, and that I no longer had to worry about you or him. That you were both at peace and I should be too." He said.
"Yes we are, please...go. You don't have to worry for me anymore." I said. I felt my voice break and my tears betray me as Gunner reached over for my cheek and gently caressed it. He looked worried as he took me into a tight embrace.
"Why do I get the feeling that your heart is breaking?" He whispered. I could feel him place a kiss unto my forehead. It was soft and gentle as he held me close. My fingers gripped him tightly as I shook my head, refusing to allow my heart to speak.
"I'm going to miss our conversations, thats all." I lied.
"Mindy, we will see each other someday. Don't be sad anymore, live and love and be free." He said.
The sunlight spilled ever brighter as his beautiful face glowed. I broke into a fit of tears just as I felt his fingers gently leave my face. "I have to say something before I go. I feel my heart can't take it." He said. His fiery blue eyes glazed over as he smiled.
"What is it?"
"I'm happy yet heart broken that you have found another. For some reason I felt myself grow hope. Hope that maybe I was still sleeping and I'd wake. But this is what I get, for letting such a beautiful soul and mind go. Goodbye, Mindy. Live free." He said.
When I awoke I groaned and lifted my head off the solid concrete floor. It was pounding as I held it and fought the drowsiness overcoming me once again. The sun was rising as I rested my head back and sighed.
"Me too, Gunner. I had hoped you'd still be sleeping." I whispered.
With shaky limbs I stood and dusted my pants off as I turned to look at his plaque again. Pressing a kiss to it I sniffled back a few tears and turned to walk out. I was glad he was finally at peace, that part of me was feeling good, and the other, the one that missed him terribly wanted nothing more than to stuff myself with chocolate and ice cream and lie in bed for the rest of my life.
I stopped short of closing the gate to his resting place and thought about that for a long moment.
"I can hear Jeremiah you know..."
"I often visit his grave. I'm glad to know he can still hear me."
"He told me you had found yourself..."
"Hope that I was still sleeping and I'd wake."
I turned to look at his plaque staring back at me. My eyes zeroed in on it as I turned to face it.
"Mindy. Don't let it get to you. He's gone, love." Mairel said as I gripped the gates in my hands.
Walking over I placed my hand on the plaque and closed my eyes. My heart slowed as I concentrated on the sounds around me.
"Mindy! What are you doing!"
"Will you shut up!" I snapped.
Mariel whimpered at my tone and she soon faded away. My hands trembled as I placed both of them over the plaque and concentrated on the sounds around me once again. Squeezing my eyes shut I took a breath and held it. I was growing impatient the longer I heard silence greet me. When I was ready to give in, it was then that I heard it.
The thump. The slow beating of his heart.