. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
THE MOMENT I stepped out of Zora's house, the coiling feeling in my stomach got unbearable. I pulled at my sweatshirt for some air because I was already sweating. We'd gathered at her place so we could get ready and drive together, like we'd done for the Halloween party months back.
I tried to shake away the anxiety, but it was clinging to me desperately. There was no reason to be anxious. My friends were there and it wasn't a big party or anything, but still, meeting new people made my anxiety flare up. I'd considered changing my outfit a million times and had nearly typed out a message saying something had come out and I couldn't go even more times.
My body was overreacting, my mind creative with the amount of 'what ifs' it could conjure up. Logic told me it would be fine. Every other part of me was acting like we were in a life-or-death situation.
"Anxious?" Zora asked.
I was still hovering by the door, along with Zora, who I hadn't noticed was there, while the other two were stepping into the car.
"I'm okay," I lied, even though I knew she could tell.
"You can tell me if you want to leave early."
"I'm not a kid, I'll be fine," I snapped, following it with a murmur of an apology, having instantly wished I could retract my words.
She looked taken aback and cleared her throat, turning away from me. "Yeah, all right. Sorry." Then she walked toward the car and got into the passenger's seat. Mai was driving us.
I stayed back for a moment longer, then followed. The knot in my stomach had grown more intense, worsening because of the tension between Zora and me. My eyes stayed focused on the passing road the entire way, hardly interacting with the others.
Silas and Caio were waiting outside of the apartment complex. We found a parking spot and then made our way to them. Together, we took the elevator up, Silas leading the way. He walked us down the hallway of the top floor and knocked on a door.
It opened less than a minute later, revealing a rather muscular man with tattoos crawling up his arms. "Silas!"
He smiled. "Hey, man."
They did that handshake guys always do before he gestured for us to come in with a wide grin. Breathe, I had to tell myself so I wouldn't start acting like an idiot.
"I'm Tristan, owner of the apartment. It's nice to meet you all. Let me show you around and introduce you to the idiots," he explained with a lighthearted tone as we stepped into the living room.
Three people were sitting on the couch. One of them, a girl, was sitting with her knees up, laughing at something the guy next to her said. On his other side, was another girl, also listening to the man in the middle. My eyes moved to the armchair next to the couch before I quickly averted them, catching a glimpse of a couple making out.
The first one who noticed us was the girl who'd had her knees up on the couch. She almost jumped up, hurrying to go greet Silas, whom she hugged with a smile. Then Mara, wearing that same easy smile. Like it came naturally to her.
Up close, I noticed she also had tattoos. Not nearly as many as Tristan, but still, scattered across her tan skin, from her arms to her chest and stomach, visible because of her crop top. There was a ring in her nostril, a piercing in her belly button revealed by her low-set sweatpants, and a great deal of ear piercings. Her shoulder-length brown hair was cut into a shag that fit her perfectly.
Confidence oozed from her. It was a little intimidating, but I also found that she was incredibly attractive.
"Introduce us, Silas," she encouraged, the rest of the group coming up behind her.
Her eyes trailed over us and I could have sworn we held eye contact for a second longer than she did with the others.
"Caio, Mai, Zora, and Naya," he gestured to each of us as he spoke, then finally to the tattooed brunette, "this is Harper. She's also Tristan's sister and lives here as well."
That seemingly never-ending smile was still plastered on her face. "Nice to meet you guys."
After that, we got introduced to the rest of them. I forgot the couple who'd been making out names almost immediately after they'd said them, but I remembered the tall, somewhat lean guy with a buzzcut and a faint stubble, who'd been sitting in the middle, was called Lex. Whether it was short for something or if it was his full name, I wasn't sure.
The one on Lex's other side, Ruby, had gorgeous red hair that cascaded down in waves all the way to her waist. It matched the maroon lipgloss she had on. She was all high cheekbones and sharp features.
The couple were still all over each other, so I pointedly did not look at them.
Tristan told us we could sit anywhere as he went to get drinks. Not knowing where to go, I trailed after Mai, who sat on the remaining armchair. There were two options left, sitting on the couch or the floor. Since there was still space left on the couch, sitting on the floor seemed rude. I wished that I could have at least sat next to Caio, but the only space left was in-between Harper and Zora, so I sat there.
It was a rather spacious open floor plan, allowing them to have a pretty big couch, meaning I at least wasn't pressed against anybody's side. Still, I eyed the end of the couch where Caio was sitting with a longing look. It was the best place since you only had one person next to you and you could lean against the edge of the couch.
I shared a look with Mai, who seemed apologetic for taking the armchair and leaving me in this awkward situation. It was either talk to Zora, a stranger, or sit there quietly. None of the options were appealing.
Mara and Silas had joined Tristan in the kitchen. Since you could see them from the living room, I kept my gaze on them, not knowing what else to do.
"Naya, was it?" Harper asked.
"Huh?"
It had taken me a second to process her words, but when I did, I felt my face flush at my idiotic response. I was definitely sweating too. How do you function around people now again?
She laughed, looking mildly amused at my response. Or lack of, really. Her body was facing me now and I found it daunting to have so much of someone's attention.
"I asked if your name is Naya."
I nodded, then remembered that speaking exists. "Yes, sorry. Yes, it is."
The smile stayed on her face. "You all go to the same school, right?"
"We do, yeah. Are you a senior too?"
"Sure am," she said.
This is okay. I can do this. See? Talking isn't so bad, I told my anxiety, who I imagined would probably flip me off in return and tell me that something could still go wrong at any moment. Well, my anxiety could go fuck itself.
"Is it just you and your brother who live here?"
"It is, yeah. Our parents bought us the apartment back in senior year. We'd moved pretty far from school and instead of making us transfer, they trusted us with this place. Tristan's college is not that far, so he ended up just staying here instead of moving into the dorms."
I hummed in acknowledgment. "How do you know Silas then?"
"We met back in middle school. My brother and I were friends with him throughout those years. We lost contact for a while, though, until we stumbled into each other at the gym back in sophomore year. I introduced him to my new friends and the rest is history," Harper explained.
"You gym?"
"Yeah, I love it. What about you?"
"I don't go to the gym but I love running."
It turned out she shared a similar interest in exercise as I did. The conversation flowed a lot better after that. As I'd suspected, Harper was a very chill, easy-going type of person. Talking to her was relatively effortless. It helped that she listened intently to whatever I had to say as well.
I was deep enough into conversation that I could almost ignore Zora's presence next to me. Almost, that is. Now and then, I'd feel her eyes on me, or her laugh would make me lose my train of thought for a moment.
Half an hour or so after we'd gotten there, someone knocked on the door. Lex and Tristan went to get it. There was a distant murmur of noises before the door was shut and the boys came in holding a great deal of alcohol.
There was a collective cheer from most when they placed the alcohol on the table, including Harper who instantly grabbed a beer. So did Zora. Mai, however, stuck to her water. She'd told me she hadn't drank since Halloween and I was proud of her for it.
"Do you want anything?" Harper asked me, nodding to the table.
I was going to say no, I swore I was going to. But instead of saying no, the words that came out were: "Yeah, sure."
"Is a beer all right?"
"A beer is fine, yeah."
Zora, who must have been paying attention to our exchange, turned her head my way. She furrowed her brows, shooting me a questioning look. I shrugged, removing the beer cap with a bottle opener Harper had handed me. Mai looked at me too, but more so with slight shock rather than with the concern that was prevalent in Zora's eyes.
I was drinking while surrounded by people I trusted, it wasn't that big of a deal. So what if I wanted to drink? Maybe it would help get rid of some of those final nerves that were lingering, even as I'd grown more comfortable.
It didn't take that long for me to start feeling the effects. I had drunk before, but it had been long enough that I forgot how it felt. While I wouldn't say I'd reached a drunk stage, I was starting to get a little tipsy. Everything suddenly seemed more funny than it usually would be. My confidence was climbing and when I noticed Harper had moved closer, touching me in subtle ways that started to feel deliberate fast, I didn't move away. If anything, I leaned into it.
When Harper had excused herself to go to the bathroom, Mai suddenly grabbed my arm and dragged me to the kitchen. Not having expected it, I let myself be pulled along.
"You're flirting!" Mai whisper-yelled, excitement gleaming in her eyes.
I waved a dismissive hand. "What? Noooo."
She scoffed. "You so are!"
I felt sheepish, pushing my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "Okay, maybe a little."
Since the kitchen wasn't secluded from the living room and we weren't that far away from the couch, Mai let out as low of a squeal as she could, beaming like a child on Christmas.
"You should kiss her! Maybe not hookup, though. Losing your virginity while drunk is kind of a shitty way to do it."
I shook my head, abashed. "It's just innocent flirting, if it's even that, I'm not expecting it to lead to something."
Mai smirked, fucking smirked, like the little devil she was. "It always starts as innocent flirting. She's hot, you should go for it. You have some liquid courage in you now as well. If it goes wrong, you don't have to ever see her again, think about that. And hey, if you could kiss me sober, it should be easier when drunk, or tipsy, or whatever you are."
"It's not the same. That was a reckless spur-of-the-moment type of thing. I wasn't thinking straight."
"That's right, you should be thinking gay, not straight. Now get out there, she's coming back!"
She gave me a light push and I narrowed my eyes at her, mouthing 'that was so bad', in reference to her so-called 'joke'. Mai ignored it, pointing to Harper who was back in the living room, then touching her lips. I flipped her off but joined Harper's side again. Soon after, Mai walked past me, sending me a terrible wink on her way.
I'd been back on the couch for less than five minutes when Lex said something to Harper and she turned to talk to him quickly. Zora seized that moment to lean closer to me, her breath fanning against my neck as she whispered into my ear. I couldn't help the shiver that went up my spine when she did. I just about kept my breathing from hitching.
"Can we talk?"
"I don't know if that's a good idea right now."
"I'll be fast, please."
Out of curiosity, I relented, making some excuse to Harper before I followed Zora. She led me to one of the bathrooms. When I shut the door behind us and turned to face Zora, I realized she was standing far too close. This time, my breath did hitch. Zora must have realized our inappropraitely minuscule distance and retreated a step.
"What's going on?" She asked, not judgmentally, but sounding worried. "You hate alcohol."
"I wanted to give it another shot, is that so bad?"
Her face which had been tense, relaxed a little. "I guess not. It's just out of character. You didn't feel pressured to drink, or anything?"
"No, I swear. It's not like I'm looking to get blackout drunk, I just want to be a little tipsy. That's not the end of the world, is it? You're drinking too, aren't you?"
"Well yeah, but-"
"No buts, or you're being a hypocrite."
She bit her lip. "Okay, fine. What about Harper?"
I raised my eyebrows. "What about her?"
Zora looked at me suspiciously, as if she was trying to draw the answer out of me. I was scared that she'd figured out that Harper was flirting with me, and that I was possibly not completely rejecting her. That wasn't how I wanted to come out to Zora. Really, I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to come out to her.
After a few seconds, Zora's face returned to normal. "Nothing, I suppose."
"I'm going back then."
She didn't protest when I left, allowing me to return to where I'd been once again. Harper broke off her conversation with Lex and started talking to me again when I was back. I drank another beer or so, my courage increasing the more alcohol I got in my system. However, I still had some sense of responsibility and decided that would be my last one.
"Would you believe that I used to do cheerleading?" Harper suddenly inquired, an upward tilt to her lips.
I looked her up and down, slowly. "Yeah, I do." Wow, who was this confident person?
"I even won some awards."
"Why'd you quit?"
"Broke my arm. I was out for a while and then when I returned, it just didn't feel the same again. Honestly, I'd just started because my parents wanted me to, anyway."
"Winning awards is impressive, though. You must have been really good."
She shrugged. "I guess I was. The awards are still in my room, you want to see them?"
Before I could second-guess myself, I agreed. She stood up with a smile, loosely grabbing my wrist and leading me to her room. As I followed her, I glanced over my shoulder, making eye contact with Zora, who had to have been watching me already. I couldn't decipher her expression and it unnerved me. She took a sip of the can of beer she was holding and I looked away, trying to pretend like butterflies hadn't erupted in my stomach.
Harper's room was covered in posters all over the grey walls. There was a guitar in the corner and a queen bed in the middle. As I took in all the details while she had her back to me, I spotted a rainbow flag by her nightstand. She showed me to a wooden cabinet with doors of glass, gesturing to the medals and trophies that took up an entire shelf.
"Number one, huh?" I gestured to a specific award.
"I was pretty happy with that competition. Cheer was great sometimes."
"It might not have been your passion, but that didn't stop you from winning, did it?"
She shrugged lazily, hands in her pockets. "I enjoy winning, what can I say?"
"Hmm, I believe you."
My attention was diverted when I noticed something behind her. Eyes widening, I excitedly strode toward it.
"You got a balcony?"
Harper followed my gaze. "Sure do. You want to go out there?"
I nodded eagerly. She opened the door to the balcony and let me go out first. Despite my warm sweater, I shivered, and tried not to imagine how cold she must be in just a cropped top. It was easy to ignore the cold, however, when I saw the spectacular view of the town she had. I placed my hands on the railing and leaned forward, looking down.
"Wow, we're really fucking high up."
"Hmm," she hummed. "It's the top floor, after all."
"Do you go out here a lot?"
When I removed my gaze from the town below, I realized she was right beside me, our arms brushing.
"I do, yeah. Especially in the summer."
Our eyes met. Hers were a shade of light brown, the reflection of the moon glimmering in them. She was beautiful, there was no doubt of it. Anybody could see that, really.
Her eyes flickered to my lips, then back to my eyes, as if looking for consent. Mai's words flashed in my brain. Fuck it. Instead of verbally answering, I cupped her cheek and went for it.
There was hardly any easing into it. Our lips only moved slowly for less than five seconds before Harper increased the tempo, an arm slipping around my waist and pulling me closer. There were goosebumps all over her skin, surely from the cold, so we stumbled back inside, her hands still on me. They went up my sweatshirt, touching the bare skin of my back. Holy shit, they're cold.
It wasn't fireworks or a desperate need to be closer to her, but it was fun. The alcohol played a part in that too. I wouldn't have had the guts to kiss her in the first place without it. She knew exactly where to put her hands and how to move her lips, so it was easy to tell she was experienced.
When it seemed like she was about to take off my sweatshirt, a sense of panic overcame me. I wasn't ready for that, certainly not with a stranger. Before I could voice that out loud, I heard a voice that made the panic ten times worse.
"Oh, shit."
I whirled around, just in time to see a silhouette disappearing behind a closing door.
Fuck, I'd know that voice anywhere.
╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗
Another Saturday, another update!
How do we feel about Naya kissing someone? Yay? Nay?
See you next chapter!
╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝
𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨!
©𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚖. 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚍