Recovery
Nia pov
I felt like my body was sinking . Deep in a spell that I couldn't be woken out of . My lungs felt like they were filled with liquid . I couldn't breathe. My ears were thumping . Although all of this sounds terrible I wanted it to be the end . The season finale. I didn't have a interesting life story , I didn't have a happy end either . But I will be ok with that eventually . I stopped fighting so that I could sink deeper but then I heard ...
" please wake up Nia"
The silly voice that started all of this . I heard it in the sinking . It was his fault so why should I come back ? However an overwhelming force in my heart tugged me towards his voice .
" you can't leave without shouting at me princess "
The liquid in my lungs felt lighter each time he spoke . Maybe he was my cure , my knight in shining armour. I wouldn't know unless I went back. So I fought against the sinking . Each time my ears and lungs felt lighter
"There you are , you're almost there ctpeko3a"
I fought and swam up to a blinding white light and warmth on my face . A slow stroking pace of a hand on my face . My vision was a bit blurry but I squinted enough to see deep brown eyes and golden hair . Rosy lips tilted up in one corner
" I knew you could do it стрекоза "
With all my strength that I had left I mustered up a smile . I didn't know that was all it took to send me back into a deep slumber
***
A beeping woke me from my slumber. The crust around my eyes made it difficult to open them but I eventually did . The room I was in was a sterile white . It had no life at all . I'm guessing this is not a hospital. I turned to my left to see head of golden brown hair . His head was resting on my hand . It was such deja vu . And that thought alone caused me to spiral . I pulled away my head from underneath his head . Like he burned me
His head thumped on the mattress and he decided to wake up . Rubbing his eyes and stretching his arms above his head , his eyes found mine and he smiled
" I'm glad I could see your eyes again стрекоза"
That sounded like an interesting word , as I was about to ask . The doctor came in
" glad to see you awake ms Johnson. We'll just discuss your injuries and the treatments that we gave you ok "
I nodded my head
" so you suffered a minor concussion, you might not feel your tongue, we numbed it to remove the minuscule pieces of ceramic , your elbow was dislocated but a bone was also shattered was same goes for your knee caps . Which underwent surgery to align and mend and will be in casts for about 2 months "
The more he spoke the more sick I felt . The memories the torture was rushing through my brain . Burning each part that was spoken of . Awakening the pain I had felt in those moments with a men who claimed to love me
The doctor cleared his throat grasping my attention again
" the ... Um .. the stitches from the labia have been removed but unfortunately you had a miscarriage ms Johnson "
My blood ran cold
" mis...miscarriage?"
" yes ms Johnson the foetus could not live due to the physical damage that was done to your abdomen "
A baby ...
A child...
My baby ...
He killed it
I felt a hand on top of mine
" it's going to be ok стрекоза"
" no it's not Aleksandr " I gravely whispered a lump was forming in my throat . I looked at him in the eye
" it won't ever be Aleksandr , your brother defiled me , dehumanised me , am I supposed to continue living like nothing happened?"
He didn't answer me and looked at his Jean clad knees .
" AM I ? I WAS HAPPY WITH MY FAMILY. I WAS LIVING DESPITE NOT HAVING MUCH WHY DIDN'T LEAVE ME THERE TO DIE ?!"
I ripped out the tube of the drip from my wrist and leaned over the bed and clasped his navy blue sweater in my fists
" I WISH I DIED IN THAT EXPLOSION THEN TO HAVE EVER MET YOU PSYCHOPATHS"
I pounded at his chest hoping he would feel the ache that I will continuously feel for the rest of my life
" KILL ME . IT HURTS TOO MUCH ALEKSANDR . KILL ME .KILL ME "
Suddenly I felt his large arms wrapping around my body and the tears flowed into his chest . My cries filled the room and it was getting harder to breathe
" you have me стрекоза , I'll always be here whether you want me to be , whether you hate me , I'll always be here "
His words did little to soothe the ache but I accepted them . There was nothing else I could do . It wasn't long that headache formed in the centre of my forehead causing me to sleep .
***
In the evening a nurse had come to assist me in taking a shower. She had put me in a wheel chair and wheeled me to the door within the ward . Gently washing my skin
But it wasn't enough
" scrub harder "
She did but it wasn't enough to erase the pain . His scent . The memories .
I yanked the washcloth from her hands and scrubbed until I saw a faint red showing on my skin . Until tiny holes were visible on my skin oozing the red liquid that flowed through my veins
I didn't hear the nurse trying to stop me. I didn't hear her rush out
I wanted him off me
To go away
To erase him
The hot water pounded into the exposed cracks of my skin . The only thing that stopped me was the warmth of arms wrapping around me
"стрекоза stop please "
The weight of everything fell on my shoulders and I slumped into his chest that was wet from him entering the shower
" God if there's anything I'd ask for and be grateful for is that you take me now please " I whispered into his chest . I was only supposed to hear it but then he spoke.
" стрекоза there was no way I'd let that happen . I wouldn't allow the angels to take you away from me unless I'm going with them too "
The ache I feel will last a lifetime . But I'll try to breathe and if I can't I hope Aleksandr will help me
________________________________________
Hi tiggers , it's been really difficult to update on this book because I started a very interesting Turkish series called full moon and I had no motivation to write but I hope I can get back to updating for you guys
What do you think of Aleksandr?
Much love
~N