(Santana's POV)
"...Did we have sex?"
I have just opened my eyes, the room is spinning and I am pretty sure I am about 5 seconds from throwing up. I think I might still be drunk. We weren't even that bad when we left the bars last night, it was when we got back to Britt's apartment, things got all deep and emotional and we just kept drinking. "I-" I finally open my mouth but instantly have to throw my hand in front of my mouth and run to Brittany's bathroom to ungraciously spew up the cocktail of wine and liquor I consumed less than 12 hours ago.
I swill my face and my mouth out, once I feel like my head is back in the room I become very aware that I am stark bullock naked! I frantically look around for something to cover my modesty with and thankfully Britt has fresh towels on the radiator. I wrap myself up and walk back out into the bedroom, where Britt looks like she is going through it herself. "I am so sorry. I had to puke." I apologise for my sudden exit. Britt is wrapped tightly in the bedsheets, she wraps them around herself a little tighter when she see me walks in. "Why are we naked?" she asks me. "Did we have sex?" she adds again.
"No Britt, we didn't have sex." I say. I might have been off my face on liquor but I know for a fact I didn't have sex with my best friend. "Then why are we naked in bed together?" she asks, not able to piece last nights events together in a coherent timeline to make sense of it all. "We were just that wasted that we couldn't be bothered to put our pyjamas on." I shrug, joining her back on the bed. She shifts away slightly, clearly embarrassed that we are naked and sober now. "But how did we get to that point?" she cries. "We just drank a fuck tonne, nothing else to say." I giggle. "You kept tickling me, so much I couldn't breath and then you kissed me-"
Britt gets up in a flash, sheets still in tact around her as she takes her turn to go and throw up. Several minutes later she reappears, looking as white as a ghost. "Wow, don't think someone kissing me has ever had that affect before." I chuckle lightly. "I am so sorry." she says, her voice strained. "For what? The kiss!? Don't worry about it, we were drunk." I say. It really isn't a big deal, I just hope Brittany doesn't make it one. "What happened after I kissed you?" she asks covering her eyes. "Wow, do you really not remember?" I ask, surprised at how much recollection she is missing. "I really don't." she says shaking her head. "Britt, seriously don't sweat it. In fact it was barely a kiss, it was over within one second, you got off me, insisted we did shots and the rest is history." I rub her shoulder trying to consolidate her, she looks mortified.
"I am never ever drinking again." she cries out, falling back on the bed. "I had a really great night though, it was so good to go out just the two of us. And you picked up plenty of girls numbers, all pretty ones too, I am so proud of you....Britt?...Britt?" I turn around and see Britt has passed out, fell back asleep. "Brittany!" I raise my voice a little louder, but no luck. She doesn't wake. I get up, take a quick shower and dress myself back into my outfit from the night before and order myself an Uber home.
---
(Brittany's POV)
It's two in the afternoon and I have only just reawaken. Santana must have left hours ago, I must have passed out on her. I cannot believe I kissed her, I cannot believe we woke up naked in the same bed!!! I can't stop thinking about it all. Santana said it was barely a kiss, but to me it was everything. Even if it was just one second, in that second I felt all the magic in the world yet again. I just crave her lips on mine.
What the fuck am I going to do!? Santana is dating Gia and she has shown absolutely zero indication that anything is there on her end. And why would there be? She tells me countlessly I am her best friend. This whole situation is depressing and I just can't think straight. Maybe I should go away for a while? Some retreat in the remotest part of the world? But then what good will that do? Nothing, I will still want Santana when I return. I have to talk to someone about this...I pick up my phone and call Quinn.
---
"Wow, you look like shit!" Quinn laughs as she sees me vegetating on my couch in front of the TV. "I feel like it." I whine, still feeling sorry for myself. "Here's your Taco Bell." Quinn hands me the biggest bag of food you have seen, I asked her to pick me up some food to help aid this monster hangover. "Thank you" I say, my mouth full of fries. "So what did you want to talk about?" she asks, slumming herself next to me, helping herself to a few of the fries. "Santana" I say exhaling hard. "We woke up naked together." I say, Quinn's eyes almost popping out of their sockets. "WHAT!" she shrieks, making me wince as her voice pings all around my heavy head. "Q please, a little quieter." I whisper. "Sorry, what!?" she says in a shouty whisper back to me.
"We went out to some bars, she helped me talk to girls, get their number. We came back to mine, drank more, kissed her again, then everything after that is a blur, cut to this morning and I wake up and she is passed out next to me with no clothes on!" I say in one big breath. "Woah woah woah, what do you mean kissed her again!?" Quinn asks frantically. "You have kissed her before?" she asks, her mouth agape. "Yeah..but it wasn't really anything, she was doing it as a favour." I explain. "A favour?" she says smirking. "Yes! she walked in when that Blair was still in my bed, I had to explain everything. I told her I didn't feel anything kissing or having sex with Blair and Santana said it was because it was a stranger, no emotional connection and that I should kiss someone who I care about, so she volunteered."
"...And?" Quinn asks, eager to know the outcome. "It was fucking magical." I sigh. "This is hurting my brain." Q says, rubbing her temples to each the pressure from information overload. "Tell me about it." I say, chowing down on my pulled pork tacos. "Does she know you feel like that?" Quinn asks, now looking sorry for me in my current dilemma. "How could I tell her Q? She is dating Gia." I say, my voice cracking. "Oh B..." Quinn rubs my arm, in an attempt to soothe me. "My mind is in more of a mess than it was before I told anyone I thought I might like girls."
"So what are you going to do?" Quinn asks me. "I have no fucking idea, I did think about leaving town for a while." I say, putting the feelers out to Quinn. "I don't think that would solve anything." she tells me. I already knew this, but deep down I was hoping that she would tell me she thinks it was the best idea ever. "I really think you should tell her how you feel." Quinn suggests. "Quinn-" I go to speak but Quinn goes into Mom mode and stops me. "Listen, she is dating Gia. You're best to tell her now before she goes in too deep. It wouldn't be fair to yourself, watching that relationship progress, which I think it will. You'll want her more, yearn for her more, it'll be torture. But also, it wouldn't be fair on Santana. And you know that." I hate it when I know Quinn is right. "I do think I am going to get away for a few days. I have to clear my head Quinn, if I am going to talk to Santana I need to know exactly what I am going to say, right down to the last word."
"If that's what you want to do." She says with a small smile. "Wanna watch some trash TV with me?" I smile, wanting to now completely come off the subject. "Sure" she smiles, she grabs us a blanket and throws it over us as we share the bag full of food and watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
----
I am five days into what was meant to be a three day get away. As soon as Quinn left on Sunday I booked myself an Air BnB on Lake Tahoe, booked a last minute flight and was on my way to Reno the next morning. There is barely cell signal here, I have to go to the reception area to access the wifi, but it has been a real blessing. But I am not ready to go home, I am not ready to talk to Santana. Tonight is Friday Night Dinner, I have never missed one in the entire time I have been in New York and I am devastated that this will be the first one I miss.
I head to the reception area to check on my messages. I expect to be bombarded on the group chat with messages and from Quinn. I grab myself a coffee from the vending machine and seat myself in one of the several leather chairs in the waiting area. I connect to the wifi and watch as all the messages and emails ping through. I have 400 notifications from the group chat, but I decide to not open it, instead I text Quinn.
'Hey Q' - Me
'You're alive!? Are you on your way back? Friday Night Dinner Remember!' - Q
'Actually...about that' - Me
'NO NO NO, do not tell me you are missing it!!! Britt none of us have missed a single dinner EVER!' - Q
'I know and I swear I am so sorry Q! But I am just not ready to see her, talk to her.' - Me
'I understand B, but you got to face the music at some point!' - Q
'Can you please just tell everyone I am extremely sorry and that my flight was cancelled or something?' - Me
'B, I hate lying to them. Santana is like a bloodhound, she can sniff a lie out from miles away!' - Q
'Please Q...I love you. See you soon.' - Me
'I am not happy about this, but okay. Love you, stay safe' - Q
Quinn is undoubtedly going to make me pay for that when I get home. I turn my cell back off and return to my log cabin. The lake is just a few miles away, I decide to pack my backpack with essentials and go for a hike.
I love the outdoors, the fresh air and all the feelings that come with it. I find myself a nice spot right on the edge of the lake, set out my blanket and sit myself down, looking out at the still lake's crystal blue waters.
Everything starts running through my mind, what happened the last time I saw Santana. The fact I passed out and never got to talk to her, the fact we kissed, we were naked, the fact I think I love her, it's so overwhelming it brings me to the edge of tears. I pull out my journal from my bag and start writing down all of my feelings and everything I love about Santana...
'I love Santana's eyes....'
'I love Santana's mile....'
'I love Santana's laugh....'
'I love how Santana protects and defends me....'
'I love the shape of Santana's lips....'
'Santana makes me happy whenever I am around her...'
'I love how I can truly be myself around Santana....'
'Santana can make me feel like I am the only person in the world....'
'Santana knows me better than I know myself....'
'Santana makes me smile when no one else can....'
'When I kiss Santana I hear...fireworks!....'
I sigh out loud, what if Santana will never like me back? Let alone love me back. The thought of that almost destroys my soul. I know eventually I need to go back to New York and talk to Santana about everything, but what if it ends my friendship? I would rather have Santana as a friend than nothing at all. Through all the years I have known San, I know she doesn't really do relationships, it's sex for her a majority of the time. So when she is dating someone, anyone else is off limits. What if Gia is the one? She seems pretty but what if they do last? How do I live? How do I breathe? How do I move on?
---
(Santana's POV)
"Hey guys! Sorry I am late!" I apologise as I walk into Quinn and Rachel's apartment. "You're good!" Rachel calls out as she gets up to greet me. Blaine and Kurt are already here and so is Mercedes so we are just waiting on Britt. "Wow, I am not the last one to turn up!" I say surprised. "Actually, Britt can't make it..." silence and slight gasps fill the room as everyone hears the news. "Oh my god...did LT die?" Blaine says, his hand over his heart. "No." Quinn shakes her head. "She sick?" Kurt asks. "No." Quinn shakes her head no again. "Then what is it?" I ask. No one has ever missed a Friday Night Dinner, so it has to be something big if they have. "She...her...her flight was cancelled!" Quinn is fumbling over her words, I don't think I believe her. "Oh no!" Mercedes pouts. "Let's eat!" Quinn claps her hands together, summoning everyone to the table, they all seem to buy it...but I don't. Something is definitely up.
---
"So...How's Gia?" Blaine asks me as we tuck into tonights dinner. "She is good, she is unwell at the moment, so she has stayed home." I say, covering my mouth with my hand so no one can see me chewing my food. "Home as in her home? Or your home?" Rachel smirks. "Her home hobbit." I snap. "Things seem to be going really well with you two." Kurt says with an interested smile. "Yeah, I mean its okay. Still early doors right?" I shrug. "Are you sleeping with anyone else though? That is the million dollar question!" Mercedes says. "I am not..." I say smirk, feeling a little smitten. "Wooow" Kurt smiles gleefully. "Should we buy a hat?" he adds. "Get a life Hummel, it's been like two weeks." I roll my eyes at the ridiculous insinuation.
"Can't believe Britt is missing Friday Night Dinner." Mercedes sighs. Quinn has avoided eye contact all night whenever anyone has mentioned Brittany. Something definitely isn't adding up. "I always had a bet on Santana being the first to miss it." Rachel jokes, much to my un-amusement. "And why is that hobbit?" I snap back, less than impressed. "I-I.." she stutters. "She always thought you'd miss it from getting laid." Blaine answers for her. "Wow, I mean I love sex but I would never fob you guys off for anything. You're my best friends." I respond, a little offended at Rachel. "So where exactly is Brittany?" Kurt asks, changing the subject. "Lake Tahoe" Quinn smiles.
I don't know why but I decide to check flights from there to New York, I am not buying the whole flight cancellation story...
---
"Hey Q, want some help?" I stand next to Quinn as she is washing up. "Um no tha-" I grab the plate out of her hand, not giving her any choice. "Well I am helping and you're going to tell me the truth." I say, aggressively wiping the plates dry. "Truth about what?" she says, her voice notably higher pitched. "Don't give me that bullshit, the truth about Brittany." I chide. "I told you, her flight was cancelled." Quinn says, talking very calmly and quietly, to not draw attention. "BULLSHIT!" I shout loudly, realising everyone else has now turned to look at us. We both give false smiles and turn back around. "Bullshit Quinn, I checked the flights. None are cancelled." I say through clenched teeth.
"Maybe they haven't updated?" she shrugs. "Q, don't lie. What's going on?" I ask, my patience wearing extremely thin. "It's not my place to say." she sighs. "So there is something? It's not a cancelled flight?" I press. "Look, Santana. It is not my place to say what may or may not be going on. Just wait until Britt is back and ask her yourself." Quinn is tired of my interrogation, she throws the dish rag at me to finish drying up everything by myself as she rejoins the rest of the group.
---
"Babe, you okay? You seem distracted?" I lay in Gia's bed, her curled against me. What Quinn said to me earlier at dinner keeps playing over and over in my mind. Something is clearly going on and Q seems to know what's up. "Yeah, I'm good." I give a fake smile and pull Gia closer to me. "You sure? You can tell me if something is up." she says as she brushes her fingertips across my bare torso. "I am good, I promise." I say smiling down at her. 'How was Friday Night Dinner?" she asks through a chesty cough, she still isn't feeling 100%. "Yeah it was good." I say staring up at the ceiling, my mind racing at a million miles an hour as to why Britt might have missed it. "Everyone there?" she asks innocently. I really need a distraction, I don't want to think about dinner or Quinn or Brittany anymore.
"I know something that'll make you feel better." I smirk, looking down at Gia. "Nurse Santana?" she asks, raising her brow. I climb on top of Gia, peppering kisses all over her jaw, neck and down to her chest and further south...
---
(Brittany's POV)
(Two days later...)
It's Sunday early morning, I have finally booked myself on a flight back to New York. I am still not entirely sure what I want to say to Santana when I see her. But I have settled on the fact I will invite her over for dinner at my apartment and I will cook. It's in a familiar setting, nothing too formal and hopefully will be a safe space for all conversation. I am sat in Reno airport waiting to board my flight, I decide to shoot Santana a text.
'Hey, you up to much tonight? Fancy dinner at mine?' - Me
'Hello stranger...I can move a few things around. What time should I be there?' - San
'Say 6pm? I'll cook...' - Me
'Perfect. Is everything okay B?...' - San
'Why wouldn't it be?' - Me
'Just asking. I shall see you later, safe flight.' - San
I decide to not reply, I feel like Santana knows something is up, but now is not the time nor place to be getting into that.
---
Almost 7 hours later I land at JFK. I hail a cab, throw my case in the trunk and sit in the back. I have been out with nature for a week. It sort of feels nice to be back in the hustle and bustle of New York, the city that never sleeps. I am happy to be home, mainly because Santana is here. And wherever she is, I am happy. I think I feel confident about my talk with San. All I can be is honest and if she doesn't want to be with me, then that's okay. Her just knowing how I feel about her is enough for me right now. I will still be heartbroken, but at least it will be out there, I won't be living a lie or keeping secrets, I can be free.
Around half an hour later my cab pulls up outside my apartment block, absolute scenes of pandemonium greet me. Fire trucks, police and paramedics all at the base of my building. I quickly pay my cab driver, collect my case and join a small group of people on the sidewalk opposite my building, I recognise a few people who live on the same floor as me, I go over to them to find out what the hell is going on! "Joyce! What the hell happened!" I pant as I race across the road to join my neighbour. "Oh Brittany, there was an awful fire in the penthouse. It's wiped out the top 10 floors." she says, tears in her eyes. "M-My apartment!?" I cry, fearing the worse. "I am sorry Brittany." Joyce says, wrapping an arm around me.
---
"Britt?" I feel the hand of Santana on my shoulder. "What the hell happened?" she asks, looking up at the burning sky scraper. I clearly lost track of time and forgot to let Santana know what happened. "Th-there was a fire, my entire apartment is gone." I almost cry. "Oh my god..." Santana gasps. "Everything?" she asks me and my neighbours. "Let's ask this young man." Joyce says, waving over a young fire fighter. "Can you tell us what's happened? What's the extent of the damage?" My neighbour asks the fireman. "The fire started in the East wing of the penthouse, we think it was an electrical fire. The alarms were faulty, it spread down at least 13 floors, the entire infrastructure is cheap material, it spread like nobodies business. Every apartment on the top 13 floors is basically gone." he says, with a small apologetic smile before running off to join his colleagues in putting out the remainder of the fire. "I can't believe it, my whole life, my apartment. Just gone." I begin to sob. "Shh, shh, you can stay with me." Santana kisses the side of my head as she pulls me into her hold. "I-I can't..." I continue to cry. "I am not asking..." she says, holding onto me tighter.
---
(Santana's POV)
Brittany's whole life has literally gone up in flames. She has lost everything, all she has is the clothes on her back and a case she packed and took with her to Lake Tahoe. "What am I going to do San?" she clings onto the cup of hot cocoa I have just made her. "You are going to stay here, we will get in touch with your insurance people and go from there." I affirm. "San, I can't stay here." Brittany shakes her head. "Where else will you go?" I ask her. "I'll stay in a hotel!" she suggests. "If you think I am allowing that, then you have another thing coming. You are staying here and that's that." I say, crossing my arms over my chest, Brittany simply concedes and nods in agreement.
"Now, you'll have to crash with me tonight and tomorrow I will get the spare room ready for you." I say, sitting next to her on the couch. "What's in there now?" Britt asks me and I smirk a little. "Toys" I smile. "I am guessing not the lego kind?" Britt rolls her eyes. "Absolutely not" I chuckle. "I'll get Gia to come and move them tomorrow to hers and then the room is all yours." I smile. "So I will be staying in your sex room then?" Britt chuckles. "Hardly a sex room B, just have some vibrators and dildos in there." we share a laugh. "Thank you San, I really appreciate it." she smiles appreciatively.
(Brittany's POV)
Santana is my hero, she has literally saved me from being homeless by offering me her spare room. This could potentially complicate things, I have so much I need to discuss with Santana. But I think I need to give it a few days, there is so much that I now need to sort out with my insurance and what not, so for now my feelings and that conversation need to be put on the back foot. "I'll cook us dinner tomorrow night instead, as a thank you for having me." I suggest. "That's so sweet, but I am actually out with Gia tomorrow, so you will have the place to yourself." Santana smiles at me. Urgh, living here temporarily will obviously mean my path will cross with Gia at some point. "Oh okay" I say, trying not to sound too disappointed, but clearly I fail. "Everything okay B?" Santana asks me, frowning slightly. "Yeah of-of course. But I am cooking for you this week to make up for tonight and to say thank you." I affirm.
"It's a date. Now I am going for a bath, make yourself at home." Santana saunters past me, brushing her fingers on my arm. I watch Santana walk off the bathroom, she closes and locks the door behind her, naturally. I let out a heavy sigh, it was so nice of Santana to have me stay with her, but deep down I know it will just end up complicating things too much. I lean against the frame of Santana's bathroom as I hear the sound of her clothes hitting the floor and the water running. Oh Santana, what do I do?
(Authors Note)
A bit of a curveball has come Britt's way, she was all geared up and ready to talk to Santana. Will that still happen? Will things get complicated for Britt now she I staying with Santana? Who knows...
Stay tuned...
xoxo