❗️Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder, Anxiety
Nick's POV
I hear the front doorbell ring for Charlie's apartment and I look over at him. "I will get it, you just stay here." I say to Charlie who smiles at me. I kiss his forehead softly before jogging to the front door. I take the food from the delivery driver, handing him a tip for shutting the door. I go into their kitchen and place the food on separate dishes. I hold both plates in my hands and look at Charlie's. I try to calm my nerves so I place the plates on the counter before running my hand through my hair. I take a breath, trying to process what Charlie just told me.
Is this a normal thing for Charlie. Does he not eat very often or is this a one time thing? Like was he just so nervous about us all meeting his parents or is there more to this? I just want to help him but I don't know what to do to help though. Maybe I can ask him? What if he just pushes me away instead or I make it worse?
I shake my hands nervously and then take a long deep breath before grabbing the plates to walk back to Charlie's room. He sits up a little as I walk through the doorway, a smile growing across his face when he sees me. This causes me to smile back. I hand him the plates before I walk back to shut his bedroom door. "Here you go." He says, handing me a plate "Thank you." I say and sit down next to him. I wait for him to start eating, nerves running through my body. He takes a few bites so I decide to start eating. We eat without talking, just the background noise from a YouTube video we put on his TV. He finishes most of his food on his plate which makes me smile brightly. I take the last bite of my food before standing up. "Can I take that?" I ask, my hand outstretched. He places the plate in my hand and I walk back to the kitchen, placing the dishes in the sink.
Right when I walk into Charlie's room, I hear the front door open. I quickly shut the door and press my back to the wood, looking over to Charlie with wide eyes. I feel my heart start to beat faster and my hands start to get sweaty. "It's probably just Isaac. We usually come back at this time from the Chat." He says, trying to calm me down. I try to step away from the door but I feel like I am glued in place.
What if Isaac sees us here and tells someone? What if he tells someone and Charlie and I get found out? I don't know my sexuality for sure... I am not ready to come out yet as anything. I just need more time.
"Hey it's okay." Charlie breaks me from my panicked trance, his hand resting on my bicep. "Ch-Charlie, you are n-not sup-posed to be up." I say shakily. He looks at me for a second before pulling me into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around my shoulders. I close my eyes as I feel his one hand move to the back of my head his fingers running through my hair calmingly. I wrap my arms below his shoulders, my hands running up his back to his shoulder blades. We stay like this for a few moments before he leans back. I open my eyes to see him smiling softly at me which causes me to smile too. He moves his one hand to my cheek and I rest against his touch. "It's okay, Nick. I promise." He reassures me.
He takes my hand and walks me to his bed. We climb in and under the covers, his head resting on my chest. His hand rubs across my chest slowly, calmingly, as we sit there for a few minutes. "Feeling better, Nick?" He asks. I look down at him before kissing his forehead. "Uh, I feel a little better. Yeah." I answer, smiling a little. He looks at me for a second before sitting up, resting on his one elbow to look down at me. "Are you still nervous about Isaac?" His face filling with concern. I just shake my head and place my hands over my eyes, letting out an unintentionally sigh.
"Sorry." I mumble. "I am sorry for being so confused and nervous about... about us." He places a hand on my cheek, his thumb rubbing across my cheekbone. "We agreed we'd go with whatever pace makes you comfortable. I can go distract Isaac if you want to sneak out?" He suggests which makes me chuckle. "That would be more suspicious, Charlie." We giggle together. I lift my arm to behind his shoulder, pulling him down to lay on my chest again. I grab the remote and turn the YouTube clip back on.
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"Nick. It's late." I open my eyes slowly to see Charlie looking down at me. I rub my eyes, a yawn escaping. "Did we fall asleep?" I ask. He looks out his one window before looking back at me. "I think so." He giggles. I grab my phone from my pocket. I look and see a few messages from Otis saying I missed rugby practice. Sai messaged too asking if I was at the library studying. That was a few hours ago... I laugh to myself. "What?" Charlie asks. I look up at him.
His eyes are softened a little like he's still tired. The small amount of light coming in through his window are reflecting in his blue eyes. He so breathtaking, I can't believe it. He has a few curls out of place so I raise my hand to his face to fluff them back up. He blushes, looking away to hide this. I smile and move my hand to cup the side of his face, my thumb resting on his cheekbone. My fingers wrap into the curls on the back of his head as I pull him down to me, our lips crashing.
I smile against his lips before I move my other hand to Charlie's waist. I feel his hand slip to the side of my head, his fingers running through my hair. I quickly sit up, my lips never leaving his. I pull away slightly so I can rest my back against the wall behind the pillows before I lightly Charlie across my hips. He sits completely in my lap before we start to make-out again. After a while I can't help but chuckle, causing him to pull back. "What are you laughing at?" He asks, giggling a little. "I am just really happy. This makes me really happy." I say, my voice getting softer as my face flushes more. He kisses my cheek, pulling away he has a huge smile on his lips.
We make out more, both of us starting to get out of breath before my hand accidentally brushing against the bare skin of his lower back. A small gasp escapes from his lips before he pulls away. His eyes fill with a look of concern and maybe even embarrassment. He climbs off my lap to sit on the edge of the bed, his hands moving to his forearms. One of his nervous habits.
I move to sit next to him, my leg pressing against his. "I am really sorry." I whisper. I go to reach for his hand but I second guess myself. Instead I pull my arms against my chest, my index finger finding the skin just under my sleeve. I start to trace small circles before Charlie takes my tracing hand. "No, I am sorry. I just uh- I just got nervous, I guess." His tone full of embarrassment. I look from our intertwined hands before looking up into his eyes. "I thought we agreed on banning the 's' word, Char." I whisper. He looks at my eyes and then to my lips before giggling.
"I kind of want to say it." He jokes. "Don't" I say and then laugh. We both laugh a little before we look at each other. "It's getting late, you're right." I say, getting us back on the original topic. He looks at me again, his eyes starting to fill with sadness. "I should get going, I guess." I say and look at my hands. There is a long silence so I decide to stand up. When I begin to take a step towards my shoes at his bedroom door, he grabs onto my forearm. When I turn around, he slides his hand into mine. He looks at our hands before looking up at me. "You could spend the night if you want?"
A smile creeps onto my lips and I can't hold back my excitement. I let go of his hand and quickly wrap my arms around his shoulders, causing us to fall onto the bed with the force. "Oooh. I sleepover on a school night." I say jokingly as I am now on top of him which causes his cheeks to get even redder. I kiss his lips softly but quickly. "You are so cute when you blush, Char." I whisper. He looks up at me before he brings his hand on the nape of his neck, pulling me down to his lips with such passionate I can't help but have a small happy gasp escape. I pull back due to embarrassment but he just pulls me right back.
We make out for a few moments before I roll him on top of me while I lay flatly on the bed. We stay like this for what feels like forever until he stops kissing first. "Since it's a school night, we need to get to bed." He says, continuing the joke while he tries to catch his breath. I brush some curls that are hovering over his eyes. "Okay." I whisper. We look into each other's eyes before he climbs off me. Before I move, I close my eyes as I think about our perfect little night, trying to savor every minute we shared. "Nick."
I sit up quickly to see Charlie holding the jumper I gave him. "You can wear this if you want to sleep in." I smile and nod my head. I stand up and take the jumper in my hands. Charlie looks a little anxious before he bends to one of his drawers. "I will get changed in the bathroom, you can get changed in here." He says before quickly hurrying to the bathroom. I take my t-shirt off and slip my jumper over my shoulders. I look down at my sweatpants and back up again. I am going to sweat in this.
I quickly take off the sweatpants, leaving me in my boxers and jumper. I am still going to be too hot.
I take off the jumper with my t-shirt and accidentally drop them on the floor. When I stand back up, I see Charlie staring at me from the doorway of the bathroom. He quickly looks away and I can see he is about to apologize but I just laugh. "I am going to be too hot in all this Charlie. I am not sleeping in your bed with a jumper and pants." I try to lighten the mood from his obvious embarrassment. He smiles before walking over to me. He kisses my cheek softly, placing his hand on his bicep. "Who said we were sharing my bed. I thought you'd sleep on the floor with some extra pillows." He says with an almost straight face but he quickly fades once I start laughing. He giggles before wrapping his arms around me. I kiss his temple and rest my cheek against the side of his head. "I really need to go to bed." He says into my shoulder.
I over dramatically sigh before letting him go. "Fine, fine. I guess we can go to bed." I climb in first and get under his blanket. He turns the light off before jumping in as well. We kind of awkwardly try and figure out how to sleep together until he takes charge and turns onto his side, pulling his arm across his waist for me to hold on. We lay like this for a few minutes. "I kind of like being the big spoon." I whisper in his ear and I feel him laugh. "Go to bed Nick." He says while he laughs a little. I close my eyes and pull him closer to me before closing my eyes to fall asleep.