Personal for Corinne - He finds out you have an eating disorder while he's on tour so he comes home to help you
A/N: I know a lot of people are suffering with this, and please, if you are, please read deeply into Harry's speech. I think it's great for people with eating disorders.
I love you all, and you can get through it.
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"Baby! Dinner's ready!" I heard Harry call from the kitchen.
I slightly closed my eyes, sighing, knowing that I have to try and hide my disgust for food from Harry for another night.
I hated hiding my eating disorder from him, but I had no other choice. He already found out about it months ago, and made me promise to never do something so death threatening to myself ever again. But over time, you begin to hate your image. You see all the models Harry used to be linked to and you couldn't help but think you weren't good enough for him compared to them.
"Corinne? Did you hear me?" Harry called again, making me snap out of my thoughts.
"Y-yeah! I'll be right there!" I called, dreading the fact I have to go through another dinner faking it.
I sighed, slowly making my way down the steps. I would stop for a second every step I took, making the moment of coming face to face with him and food come so much slower. I didn't want him to lose his trust in me, because I know that if he finds out about this nothing will be the same with him again. He won't look at me, talk to me, or treat me the way he does now if he finds out.
Once I finally made my way down the steps, I walked agonisingly slow to the kitchen table, taking a seat right across from Harry.
"I made you your favourite beautiful" Harry smiled brightly, proud that he had spent all his time making it.
My heart instinctively ached. He spent so much time cooking my favourite meal, only for me to throw it right back up. It kills me knowing that he tries so hard to drag me out of the darkness of my past, and it kills me more knowing I'm never going to get there.
"Thank you, Harry" I put on a fake smile, taking a look at all of the calories of each food item.
I slowly took the ravioli, putting only a couple of them on my plate. I slowly brought the ravioli up to my mouth, chewing and consuming the food, feeling more disgusted every swallow I took.
"This is perfect, darling. Thank you" I lied, putting on a small smile.
I spun the fork around my fingers, gulping as I looked at the food before me. I already felt sick to my stomach just looking at it. I couldn't imagine it being chewed and put into my stomach without releasing a gag.
"You broke my promise Corinne, didn't you?" Harry asked softly.
I couldn't answer him. I should have, but I couldn't. I couldn't see the look on his face when he finds out that his girlfriend broke something so strong. I couldn't look at him, because if I did, I would break.
"Didn't you?!" Harry screamed, punching the table with the side of his fist, causing me to flinch against my chair.
I kept my gaze on the food, not daring to seek a single glance at him. I can already see his face scrunched up, his cheeks crimson as his eyes have fires in them. All the anger and all the hurt in his eyes is because of me, and I couldn't bring myself to know that while I looked at him.
"Why are you so fucking stupid?" Harry roared, getting up out of his chair as he started pacing around the room.
"Corinne how could you look at yourself in the mirror and think you aren't good enough? How in the world could you hear your own stomach crave for food and you don't even give it to yourself? How could you see such a beautiful, perfect fucking girl staring back at you in the mirror and actually want to change a single thing about her? Do you realize how fucking twisted that sounds? I had never known someone personally to even think like that, and it fucking terrifies me that it's starting with you!" he yelled.
My face scrunched as I closed my eyes tightly, trying to keep the tears nearly slipping inside. Harry has never yelled at me like that before, and I'm starting to think that he's going to give up on helping me get through this. It scares me knowing that my problem is stronger than what Harry can help me with because I need him. I won't even have a chance of getting through this without him, which I think is something I have to learn from now on.
Harry slowly started to approach me, forcing me to not move a muscle. His tall body crouched to level with me, and I was starting to become scared of what he'll do to me.
"Baby, Corinne, look at me" he whispered, placing fallen hair behind my ear so that he can get a better look at me.
I slowly met gaze with him, meeting his sympathetic eyes. He was looking at me as if he was looking at a two year old. He wasn't looking at me, he was looking at the thought of me.
"You are by far the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. You know exactly how to make my heart beat so much faster than running 15 miles. I see you as something you will never see yourself as, and baby, that scares the hell out of me. It scares me so much that one day what I say to you won't matter a thing anymore. You'll only see what you see and it'll make me, and your family, and everyone you know ask why the hell we couldn't do anything about it. I hate seeing you like this, I hate it. I hate knowing you are basically killing yourself. Gosh Corinne, you're killing yourself and-and thinking about coming home one day to only see skin and bones on you with scars and bruises and blood gushing from your skin. When you're too weak to even lift up your arm, and I have to be the one fighting for you and watching you die. I have to fucking sit there and watch you slowly get weaker and weaker until there's nothing more of you. The thought-the thought physically breaks me. You can't do that. You can't. Because what about me, Corinne? What about me?!".
He suddenly collapses in my arms, holding me as if his life depended on it. I felt several tears seep through my shirt as I buried my face in his hair, crying so uncontrollably that I swore I couldn't breathe.
"I didn't th-I didn't think a-about it that way, Harry. I-I'm so sorry" I barely spoke.
Harry leaned up and nuzzled his face into my neck, peppering sweet kisses along my collar bone.
"One step at a time, baby, and I'll be right there holding your hand. We'll get through this. We get through everything together. We'll make it, I promise" he whispered, saying every word like he truly means it.
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