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"I can't breathe"
- Charlotte Wells
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"SO I'M TEACHING YOU TO READ," Charlotte began, shoveling straw alongside Jerry. "And in return, you want to teach me French."
"Oui," Jerry replied.
Charlotte ever so slightly smiled, glancing out the window of the barn, watching as the carriage containing the Barry's and Anne moved out of Green Gables, becoming a spot in the distance.
"Do you believe the boarders about the gold?"
Charlotte turned towards Jerry, shaking her head. "No. I don't trust those men at all."
"There's something about them that just make me feel funny." Jerry shivered, shrugging his shoulders.
Charlotte clenched her jaw. She still hadn't told anyone she knew that Nate and Mr. Dunlop were the thieves that robbed them. She didn't know how, and she figured if Jerry didn't remember, why make him relive that memory?
"I'm going to go see if Marilla needs my help with anything," Charlotte mumbled, throwing her rake to the side and climbing out of the barn before Jerry could say anything. Her hand ran through her hair, tugging slightly at her scalp as she dropped it to sway at her hip.
She needed her notebook, she needed to get the stressful feeling brewing in her chest spilled on her papers before she snapped.
Her breathing was uneven as she rushed up the stairs, stopping as soon as she swung the door to her and Anne's bedroom open. The stress inside her was instantly replaced with anger as she saw Nate pulling out a crumpled piece of paper from under the bed, her eyes scanning the drawers that were yanked open and clearly searched through.
"Loose your pack of cigarettes?"
Nate straightened his posture instantly, scanning her over and throwing the sheet of paper to the side. "Ah, Charlotte."
"What the hell do you think your doing in here?" she snapped. Her notebook wasn't close enough for her to snap at, but Nate was, so he would have to do. "Get out or-"
"Or you'll tell Marilla I beat you and that French boy's asses?" Nate scowled, stepping closer towards her. "If you were going to tell anyone, you would have by now."
Charlotte glared up at him. "Maybe I was enjoying the blackmail."
"Or maybe, you knew nobody would believe you," Nate sneered. "Because why would they. You have no proof, your reckless and disobedient. And best of all, you're not family, or even considered it."
Tears of anger welled up in the girls eyes, rage like she had never felt before filling her from head to toe. Her chest rose and fell shakily, her breaths rapid and uneven.
She stared into space, tears threatening to fall as Nate looked over her head, towards Marilla behind them.
Charlotte shoved past the man, slamming her bedroom door behind her. Hatred hot and ugly roared through her, tears spilling in shimmering streaks down her olive skin. Charlotte couldn't hold in inside her anymore. A grunt left her throat as she picked up the closest thing to her, thrusting it against the wall. Anne's inkpot shattered against the wall, glass and black liquid spilling over the wood, over the floor. A corner of the room stained with the rage Charlotte felt in that moment, stained a deep blue.
She turned around as Marilla opened the door seconds later, her eyes widely scanning the scene. "Dear God, what happened here."
"Nothing," Charlotte snapped, sitting on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands.
"Charlo-"
"Go away."
"Did Nate say something-"
"Everybody says something!" Charlotte snapped, standing up quickly from the bed, her face flushed pink from the hot feeling running through her head. Ugly tears streamed down her cheeks, her hair messy and eyes puffy. "Everybody always says something and they're always right. It's always, 'Charlotte why are you so inconsiderate' or 'Charlotte is nothing but a mean girl' or 'Charlotte doesn't even belong to anyone on this island' and it's never 'oh I wonder why Charlotte acts the way she does'."
"Child, why are you yelling at-"
"Because nobody on this damn island listens to me unless I'm screaming in their face!" Charlotte shrieked, all the things she wanted to shout at everyone in Avonlea spilling out of her mouth in that moment. "Nobody even wants me here. My parents didn't want me so they threw me away like I was a rag. And the only person I actually felt something for is gone and I can't find my notebook or the poem I'm working on so I'm just drowning in this feeling and I can't-"
Charlotte grabbed her chest, her words becoming a low croak as she struggled to form the words she wanted to say. Her fist moved to grip her chest as she choked on her own fury. "I can't breathe."
Marilla stepped towards the girl. "Slow breaths in okay?"
Charlotte did as instructed, looking up with her tear-filled eyes. "I hate them here. They... they were the ones that assault Jerry and I in Charlottetown and robbed us. Marilla I'm sorry I'm so difficult I'm sorry..."
Marilla leaned forward, wrapping her arms around the girl and holding her, rubbing the back of the brunette's head as she cried into her blouse, her shoulders shaking as she unraveled herself in Marilla's arm, showing the side of her nobody else ever saw.
—
Charlotte sat on the straw, watching as Matthew and Jerry raked it into barrels, every so often she called out words for Jerry to attempt to spell.
"You've worked hard, Jerry," Matthew nodded. "So just go on home to your family."
Jerry glanced over towards Charlotte. "H-O-M-E?"
"Correct," she nodded. "I'll walk you."
The two began to leave the barn, turning as Matthew cleared his throat. "Just so you know, the boarders they'll be moving along."
The teenagers exchanged looks, both struggling to hide the smiles of relief stretching across both their faces.
—
"Do you wanna read this out loud?" Charlotte pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket, handing it to the boy beside her.
Jerry took it, scanning over the single sentence written on the page. "The mouse cr... craw- what does that say?"
Charlotte looked over at the word. "Crawled."
"The mouse crawled into the mouse... mousetrap?"
Charlotte grinned up at him. "You're getting better."
"It's fun, reading," Jerry replied, folding the paper into his pocket.
Charlotte opened her mouth to speak, hearing rustling in the leaves behind her. Her eyes widened, the figures of Nate and Mr. Dunlop running towards the two from the trees. Jerry turned to follow her vision as he took a step forward, his boot catching on a root in the ground causing him to tumble over.
Nate stood over him, glaring at Charlotte.
Jerry widened his eyes in realization. "It was you."
He crawled up from the ground, Charlotte watching as he lunged at Nate. The older man grabbed his collar, knocking him out with a single punch.
Charlotte scanned her surroundings for anything she could use as a weapon. She didn't get a chance to look before Nate had grabbed her by the scruff of her neck, throwing her to the ground at an angle her skull hit the hard dirt below her.
Dizziness washed over her as she looked up at the sky, her breathing slow and steady. As her eyes glazed over, her breaths became slower, she had one thought in her head. And she didn't even know why it was there in those moments. The thought taunted her, alongside the stars. The thought of: I wonder if Gilbert is looking at the stars like I am?
Her head melted into the dirt, and she was gone to the world.
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2/01/2023
Stop your crying, baby, it'll be alright