Chapter 14
“Bye Zayn.” I waved at him and fixed my carry on, on my shoulder.
“Wait.” He grabbed my hand and spun me back around. “Thanks.” Before I could say anything else, he kissed me. I kissed back and pried his lips from mines, sadly.
“Come visit me, when you have some days off?” he nodded his head, as if that wasn’t a question that needed to be asked.
“No question about i-“
“LAST CALL!” the flight attendant called.
“Bye.” I kissed him again before running off.
“Cathy, nice to see you again.” I smiled at her as I started towards the escalators.
“Wait, wait! Regina wanted me to tell you.” She ran around the desk, her heels clanking all the way to me. “You have another shoot today!” I nearly dropped my bag before I remembered I had my laptop in it, from my recent trip to Zayn’s house in London for his birthday.
“It’s another Victoria’s Secret today. I think it may become a permanent thing, they loved your pictures and your pretty face.” She guided me the opposite way of my office.
“B-But, I can’t be a model.” I stutter. I didn’t sign up to be a model.
“But it doesn’t end there. You also have one for some type of clothing line to do.” She pushed me back outside the building. “This limo will take you to the show after the clothing shoot. Good luck!” she shoved me into the car and slammed the door behind me. I didn’t have a chance to get out before the limo swerved off of the curb.
“No! Wait! I can’t do this!” I tried to get to her but she couldn’t hear me, and in seconds, the limo was drowned in traffic. What do I do? I can’t do this. I didn’t sign up for this, no I didn’t. Just as I started having a panic attack, my phone started ringing. I pulled it out quickly and groaned when I saw hwo was calling. “Hello Harry.”
“Hey babe.” He answered happily, a little too happily. “Our tour is starting this weekend.”
“How nice.” I said, trying to sound interested.
“What’s wrong? You sound scared.” I guess you could say that. My breathing was quickly and slightly there, and I was sweating buckets.
“I have a show today, and another photo shoot.” I said rocking back and forth in my seat.
“Oh babe, calm down. You’ll be great.” He reassured me.
“Thanks for the words of encouragement Harry, but I don’t think I can calm down. I might just have a heart attack right now.” I fanned myself.
“Babe, breathe slowly. You can’t be fear anything. Fear is a mind killer, you must not fear anything. You’re not feared of the show or photo shoot, you are simply feared of making a fool of yourself. But trust me, you’ll be great love.” I wish Harry could be here right now, because I’d hug him to death.
“Harry thank you.” Was all I could manage to say right now.
“Be my girlfriend?” my face fell. I can’t be his girlfriend. I just can’t, with everything going on with me and Zayn I could dare say yes. I don’t want to fall in love with him, and Zayn at the same time. Not that I’m saying I love Zayn or anything.
“Harry.” I mumbled quietly. “I can’t do this right now.”
“Just say yes.” I sighed deeply, I don’t think he’s about to get off this phone until I say yes.
“Ha-“
“Just say it.” He said again.
“Bu-“
“Yes” he cut me off.
“No” I said. He didn’t say anything.
“Why? Do you not like me or something?” he asked, sadness in his tone.
“It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I like somebody else.” I said honestly. “And I don’t want to hurt anybody today, or tomorrow, or any other day.”
“Alright.” I let out a deep grateful breath. “But who is it?” he asked.
“I’d rather you not know who it is Harry.” I said honestly, something I haven’t been for some time. “Harry we can still be friends ok, I just don’t want to hurt anybody.”
“It’s alright Reagan, really.” He hung up without another word. I threw my phone into my bag and my head fell back onto the seat.
“How long until we get there?” I asked the driver.
“About 30 minutes, depends on traffic.” He answered, looking at his gold watch.
“Wake me when we get there.” I laid down, and my eyes fell close slowly.
“Come on, bring in the guy!” my eyes widened when the photographer said that. Wh-what guy? A hot guy walked onto the shoot and smiled at me.
“Hi, I’m Cody.”
“Wrap your arms around each other!” Cody pulled me into his arms, and might I say it was quite uncomfortable being in the arms of somebody I don’t know absolutely anything about except his name. I did the same to him. “Look at each other.” I rolled my eyes before turning to him. “Ok, bring in more guys!” I huffed to myself as more guys piled into the shoot. I probably look like a slut with all these guys. “Reagan, get on one of their backs.” I jumped on a tall musically guy and smiled down at the ground for the shot. “Good Reagan!” I jumped to my feet and stumbled off the scene. After millions of photos and around 30 outfit changes, I really just need to-
“Time to get to the show!” someone yanked my arm down a hall.
Rest, just really need to rest. I grabbed my bags and clothes before being dragged through people, into an elevator, through the lobby, and back into a limo.
“Into your Christmas outfit, let’s go!” I pulled of my recent lingerie outfit and pulled on a small sparkly red Christmas Dress. Someone came and attached candy canes to my back while another person curled my hair. Another person lotioned my legs and I bent down to put my, what seemed like, 12 inch heels on.
“Come on Reagan! You’re just after November!” a girl with a Thankgiving styled outfit walked out on stage. How am I supposed to compete with these girls? They’re amazingly brilliant and I have no experience with walking the runway at all.
“GO GO GO!” I was shoved out and I walked from behind the wall hiding everything going on backstage. I started walking down what seemed like 100 miles long, runway walk until I got to the end. My hair was flying beautiful as I walked back, I heard singing, but just ignored it until none other than Justin Bieber popped up next to me singing. I smiled down at him and turned right, back backstage. “Good job!” I let out a deep breath of air that I held the whole way ‘round. The song ended and Justin Bieber came running backstage.
“Hey you’re amazing.” He held up his hand for a hi five, which I gave him.
“Thanks, I have absolutely no experience.” I kicked off my heels and ran into a small dressing room. I looked at my phone and saw I had a text from Zayn.
From Zayn:
Hey, Harry told me about what’s going on. He also said you rejected him, but you really shouldn’t have. You and I both know our little thing would never work out; you mine as well live a happy life. Don’t put a stopper in your love just for someone else who has a loving girlfriend. I need to be with Perrie, and you need to move on. Be with someone else. So I want you to call Harry and tell him yes, he’s kind of hurt. You shouldn’t like me Reagan, I’m in a relationship and I don’t want to end it just for you. I hope you take my message and do what I say, we will never be.
I set my phone down on the dresser and fell into the makeup seat. My face fell into my hands and I couldn’t stop the tears that flowed from my eyes. I pulled off my white gloves and threw them on the ground. I felt my makeup running and I looked up in the mirror. I looked a mess, I shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t let him get to me. But why does this hurt me so much, I don’t know and I can’t even explain my pain myself. I wiped my tears and smeared my makeup more than ever. I felt my tears hitting my bare chest and my vision became blurred. He was supposed to be my friend. Friends don’t intentially hurt their friends, and unfortunately that’s what I feel he was doing. I got up and ripped my dress off, along with it’s stupid candy canes. I pulled on my clothes and slipped into my shoes. I ran off as quickly as I could, and out the back door of whatever building this was. I started down the cold pavement, towards the first bar I could find.
When I found one, I snuck in without being caught for underage drinking, something I could do well now that I think about it.
Fuck Life.