"Tighter Craig" he groans and I roll my eyes, pulling the string of his corset. I'm surprised I can even get it this tight on his body, but it works. The tighter I pull it, the more I feel like he's gonna suddenly collapse, but he takes it in just fine.
"Perfect" Cartman smiles, and I tie the ribbon. Sure I think this is a little too excessive, but he's really committed to the role and well, that's a good thing.
It's the next day and we've only just started getting dressed up as soon as the clock hit 7pm. Today is the day, I repeat it to myself because I can't believe it.
We're going through with the plan, infiltrating the church and finding out the when.
Sure it's not what I expected, but it's better than doing nothing. I sit there in the meanwhile, staring at the wig, I can't even begin to imagine how to put this thing on. So I wait for Cartman to do it, in the meanwhile, I watch him smother his lips and pucker them up with red lipstick.
He's a natural, literally.
"Pucker up Craig," he finishes off with his lipstick and turns around to face me. I'm confused. I don't know what to do so I just frown, "darling I said pucker up, not whatever the fuck that is" he rolls his eyes and I feel a little bit annoyed.
"Pucker up?" I point an index finger to my lips and he nods.
"Yes for Fucksake your lips" he cuffs my face roughly and I grunt, letting him roughly handle my face with all his beauty makeup. Smothering the disgustingly creamy stick on my lips, it feels like butter, but weirder.
Once he's done with the lipstick he grabs a brush and a blush palette, I put my hand on his wrist and stop him there. "Listen, that's not necessary, the disguise is fine with just this butt-"
"Lipstick" he corrects me and I roll my eyes, "yeah lipstick."
"listen Craig, you want me to be brutally honest?" He sighs and I can tell that he's annoyed by my lack of knowledge. "If I say yes will it hurt?"
He nods and I lower my head. Yeah course. Hit me with it...
"Not only are you not passing as a woman, but the overall justification of your face, gives it away." His words hit me in the heart and I lean back, "not only that but who the hell do you want to fool with no makeup? You could fool a blind man, but you're definitely not fooling me" he hits me again and I go stone cold.
ouch.
"I get it, I get it" I muffle before he's able to continue, he smiles and I sigh. If this is what I gotta do, I'll do it. God tells me that Tweek would've been laughing his ass off at me. And I don't blame him.
The next minute is excruciating, I feel like he's suffocating me in this pinkish powder, roughly tapping it over and over on my face. It feels icky, like having some sorta mask over your face. But when I think he's over he pulls out this medieval clamping torture device.
"No"
"Craig, don't be stubborn, it doesn't hurt."
"No, skip the lashes Cartman."
"Just, stay still" he warns me for one last time and I try to move away but he pulls my face in closer. The metal thing comes closer to my eyes and I'm terrified, he tries to pry my eyes open but I feel like screaming. My body freezes as he clamps down, I'm scared of losing my eye.
But I don't, the next thing he does is coat them with mascara and I'm done. When he's done clamping both lashes, I finally get a chance to breathe.
"Outfits now," he pulls out a corset and I shake my head, no no no, I look up at the clock and frown. Times ticking, I don't have time to complain. I lift up my hands and embrace for the worst.
"Just do it"
"Dumbass you have to put on the nun outfit first" he hands me the bag and I groan. Kill me.
...
I hate wearing this thing, I can tell that it's from a Halloween costume store. Obviously it's a bit sexualized, black leggings, leg slit. open neck. tight on my arms and legs, but as much as I want to say that I hate it. When I look at myself in the mirror, I think to myself; shiiit I'd look hot as a woman. The makeup is done flawlessly and so is the outfit. Maybe just a little too good. The corset is a little loose but I'm not going to tighten it anymore, if running is what we gotta do, I'm not gonna make it if it's as tight as cartmans. Unlike him, I'm willing to fucking run if I have to.
When I walk out the bathroom Cartman applauds me and I feel a little pride in the way I walk.
"Ready Cartman?" I smile, and Cartman flicks his wig, "It's Erica to you," he grins and tosses me a pair of heels. I wince from the sight of these things but I still put them on.
"Put them on and we'll be off Tricia," he snickered, hitting every pose with his heels. I want to laugh but I gotta take this seriously. But I can't even take myself seriously when I'm dressed up as a woman. Tricia huh? I like that.
We both look like nuns and we're ready to go, it's 9pm. The perfect time. Now it's now or never. Getting that key information is valuable for tonight.
Cartman heads over to the car and turns on the engine. I struggle to walk in these heels but I catch rhythm with my steps by the 6th step. He starts driving, the streets are quiet and the moon shines above the cold upturned sky. When I think everything is going as planned, sirens turn off behind us, and Cartman pulls over.
"We're fucking screwed, it's over, what if they find out, why are we being stopped?" I struggle to catch balance with what I'm saying but Cartman rolls his eyes and gestures that I hand him something.
"Hand me a lollipop"
"A lollipop?" I look at him confused, as he watches them walk out of their car and approach.
"Just give me the fucking lollipop beside you!"
I don't think twice before handing him the lollipop, he pulls it out of the package and sticks it in his mouth. He's a natural, if I didn't know it was Cartman I would've mistaken him for a woman. When the police officer pulls around our window Cartman's whole attitude has changed. He rolls down the window and flashes the top of his falsely fitted boobs, while sucking on the lollipop.
"Well, hello there gorgeous," the officer snickers and Cartman flatters him by flapping his lashes. It works, don't ask me how the fuck it's working. But it works.
"What's the problem officer?" He smiles and the guy loses his train of thought, "just drive safe, there's someone on the loose so I wouldn't want you nice lads getting caught in the mess"
Cartman twirls his hair and gasps, nodding with stupidity as the man falls for her flashy smile. "Course officer, we wouldn't" he keeps playing along, but the officer catches a glance of me and stares into my eyes. I stay still, maybe even a little too still, I'm not smiling because I feel a little freaked out. Cartman nudges me and I fall right back into reality, I smile back and the officer stops looking at me.
"Very well then, fair trip ladies!" He walks off, and when he's in his car, Cartman takes a deep breath in and sighs.
"Holy shit, that was close" I gasped, and Cartman rolled his eyes, "yeah not shit, if it hadn't been for your ass cheek expression" he sighed and I audibly opened my mouth. "you little sh-" I bark back but Cartman accelerates, and I grab on tightly to the handle above us.
god
.
.
.
"stop fucking moving will you?" He grunts and I raise my brows in disbelief. We made it just in time, just in time for him to park his car slightly away. Now I have a feeling that where Tweek's hiding, isn't just any place obviously. They've got him hidden in the basement, so we decide to take the back entrance of the church. I'm a little surprised though, I wasn't aware that Cartman knew every cranny and inch of the church, even its most hidden areas.
But we make our way inside through a small entrance, a crack in one of the windows. It's rough at first, but we fall in just perfectly. We need to blend in, we're special nuns. Nuns who have the special power to walk down here. That's us.
"Never again" I sigh and he nods in agreement, from now on, we choose that here's our meeting up spot. This is where we meet up if anything happens. The next step is to split paths, I take the path on the left and he takes the path on the right. The only mission is to find out when, nothing else.
It's an easy and concise plan.
The dramatic planning will be done when we find out the day he's about to be executed.
"Goodluck Erica" I play along and he smiles, walking his own path. The area I'm in is lightly refined, freaky but it works. It's obvious that it's meant to be secretive, but the more I make my way down, the more I feel farther away from the safe zone.
terrifying.
Just when I think I've been caught, a few nuns pass by me and praise me, I exhale and deeply grab back at my balance. There's nothing to worry about Craig. I'll be just fine.
My heels are loud, and I find that a little annoying, but I can't do anything about it. The hollow entrances feel like they never end, but when I feel like I've reached a checkpoint, possibly a key. My body goes cold.
What the fuck is Kenny doing down here.
carefully I hide behind a wall, trying to breath in slowly. Kenny's here, Kenny's fucking here. But he won't recognize me right? I look way different, it's impossi-
"hey gorgeous, I haven't seen you around" Kenny's subtle voice gives me chills, he's fucking talking to me. I smile and substitute my "fuck you, small dick, bitch face, ugly motherfucker" with girly giggles and coquette flatter.
"Yeah, I'm new around here" I smile, and pitch my voice, he raises his brow and then calmly laughs. "You sound nervous, are you nervous?"
"No, not at all" I chuckle, trying to hold back my fist. But he's persistent, and it's fucking pissing me off. He walks in closer to me and I get confused. My shoulders hit the wall and he puts a hand beside my head.
"Do I make you nervous?"
"haha" I smile and close my eyes. No you fucking bitch, you're making my blood fucking boil and I want to kick you in the small ass balls.
I'm surprised he hasn't even realized that it's me yet. Cartman did an incredible job after all.
"Indulge me a little will you?" He teased, but he doesn't do anything more than just cage me in.
I want to verbally puke, but I keep still and play along. I know that Kenny is close with Mr Mackey, and that he knows where Tweek is probably hiding.
"Tricia" I giggle, and Kenny falls for my stupidly falsified laughter. "Well then Tricia, you gotta be one of the prettiest girls that I've ever laid my eyes on" he flatters me more, and grabs my other hand, pressing it up to his lips. I want to punch him. Actually I've never wanted to punch a man more in my life than now.
but I hold it in.
Ask him, do something.
Craig.
"Mm sugar plum, I've heard of you from around" I bring my hands up to his chest and he raises his brow. No this is not a fucking invitation so don't fucking look at me like that.
"Yeah?" He falls deeper into my flattery, and I go along.
"Mhm, like you captured a malicious demon" I snicker, but deeply I want to gag.
"Well it wasn't me but I mean-" he snickers and I stop his words with my index finger, "I want to see, come on" I pout and he gulps.
"Wow that's a bit too quick isn't it-" he snickers and puts his hand on his buckle, my brow twitches and I realize that he's taken me wrongly. I grab his wrist tightly and he's surprised by my strength. I smile and accidentally let go of the pitch in my voice, it goes deep for a second but then I grasp the whiny pitch again just in time. "No, I mean the demon, sugar"
"Oh, oh, right, if you insist" he laughs and pulls me off with him.
that...was fucking close.
I follow his lead and he leads me through another checkpoint. When I think we've made it, he pulls me into a room and turns on the lights. "Haha-what's the problem?" I smile and he raises his brow.
"I mean, don't get me wrong Angel" he grins and grabs on tightly to my wrist. I'm not scared of this punk, because I know that the second he touches my body, my knees aimed straight to his chin. "I'm a little curious, as to how you know," he sighs.
He leans in closer to my ear, and I frown. "That we have demons down here." He goes serious and my posture breaks.
he's caught on to me, but he doesn't know that it's me yet. I'm busted, if what he's saying is true. Then it means that not just anybody knows about Tweek. And I'm no exception. I'm a threat to the secret, and he's caught on to me.
"Why so tense princess?" He sighs and shakes his head in disbelief, "how about this, I'll keep it a secret yeah? if you kiss me-"
"Shut the fuck up you motherfucker, ugly looking as bitch" my voice gets deeper and he takes a step back. I've frightened him, "what the fuck" he frowns and looks up at my face.
"You sound like-"
"Craig you mother fucker!" I grab onto his shoulders and run my knee into his crotch, he wheezes and stumbles back. Holding at the pain in his crotch. "Fuck what!? Craig!?" He gasps and I take the annoyingly uncomfortable heels off my feet.
"listen, I'll be gentle with you Kenny" I hold on tightly to the heel and kneel down to his face, where he lays down in pain. "What are you doing you idiot" he groaned and I raised my heel. He winced and I shrugged, "I'll tell you, just calm down," he sighed.
"Just keep heading down, take a left and you'll find him, listen Craig I don't know why you're doing this but-"
"What I do is none of your business Kenny, so stay out of my way." I finish the conversation off cold.
And make my way over to the door, "oh and, Kenny show a woman some respect, will you?" I smiled and slammed the door shut. I know it's not a good idea that I've left him inside there, but I don't have any other choice. I can't lock the door from the outside, so hoping that he'll stay in pain is my only hope... carefully I walk through every corner, until I reach the last floor. Of course I realized that he had lied to me, so entering a few rooms was a must.
By the time I made it around the corner and opened the door, my body went cold.
"Tweek, it's me" I ran over to the cage and Tweeks eyes suddenly widened. "Craig!?"
"I hope you didn't miss me too much," I snicker, while searching every table for a key. Where is it, where the fuck is it.
"Ha-haha" he laughs and I turn around a little confused, but it doesn't take me a minute to realize that he's laughing at me, and my stupidly done attire. "Jesus Craig" he wipes his tears from his laugh, "of course I missed you."
And I missed you more.
I'll get you out of here.
...
"Have you searched the top cabinet?" Tweek spoke, trying to help me by guiding me around the room, I wonder how long he's been in here to have a clear view of the materials around him. "Nothing" I say, and search the other cabinets beside that.
Originally the plan was to find out when, but I've become too desperate to just leave. I can't leave him, even though that's not the plan.
I just can't, I need to get him out of here today.