**YOUR POV**
I've kept undergoing the new treatment for the last two months just like doctor Russell ordered. December has now just begun and tomorrow would be my next appointment at the hospital where they'd have to make the tests to see if the cancer in my lymph nodes was gone or not.
I haven't really felt a change in how I felt. The treatment was still hard on my body and I mostly felt pretty awful and weak. I still looked the same, pale, skinny and just sick. Everyone could tell.
I was obviously more than worried about tomorrow and couldn't stop thinking about it, sitting at the window in a chair in Harry's study, looking outside and sipping on a cup of hot chocolate.
All I wanted was to be okay and not having to worry about my illness anymore. I wanted to celebrate Christmas that was now only a month away and I wanted to be able to enjoy it which was hard, especially being in Los Ageles instead of our real home in London.
„Sweetie? Are you alright?" I heard Harry's soft voice from behind me and turned around, seeing him leaning against the doorframe.
I nodded as he approached me, made his way around the table and sat on it so he'd face me. „I'm okay...just..." I sighed.
„Worried about tomorrow?"
„Yeah." I nodded again, looking up at him. „I'm scared it's either worse or that nothing's changed."
„I know, I'm worried too. The treatment has been working well though. We just have to think positive." He said so calmly that he made it all seem easier.
I pulled my legs up to my chest and shrugged my shoulders. „I don't know what to think. What I know is that I wanna spend Christmas with you in peace without having to worry about anything that has to do with cancer."
„I understand that, baby. You'll have a beautiful Christmas, because everything's gonna be okay." He assured me again.
„You know..." I turned to look outside the window again. „It's snowing in London." I turned back around to look at Harry.
„You miss home." He tilted his head.
„I do." I nodded. „I wanna go home. I love it here, but it's just not home."
„I'm sorry I can't say when we're able to go home. I miss it too, but I want you to be okay to be able to leave. It's a 12 hour flight after all."
„I know." I sighed again.
„Hey." He stood up and came to press a kiss to my forehead. „Please don't be sad. One step at a time okay?"
„Yeah, okay." I breathed.
„No matter what comes tomorrow, everything will be alright in the end."
I nodded again before he kissed my lips this time.
*
„Harry, I really don't wanna go in." I admitted as we sat in the waiting room the next day after I was done doing all the tests and we were waiting for the results. „I'm so scared. I have the feeling there won't be any good news."
„Don't say that, Y/n. As hard as it is, try to think positive." He slid his hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. „I'm scared too, but you've come so far. Everything is gonna be alright." He said, his voice soft.
I nodded, leaning into his side.
We waited for a while what made everything just worse as I started to overthink more and more the longer we waited.
„Miss Y/l/n?" I eventually got called by a nurse. I looked at Harry who gave me a reassuring nod and I eventually stood up with him following me.
The nurse brought us to doctor Russell who already waited in his office.
He greeted us with a handshake as usual and let us take a seat at his desk. I couldn't tell if he had good or bad news by his face. All I knew was that my heart was racing, that I was scared it would explode and I held to Harry's hand as tight as I could.
„First of all, how are you doing, Y/n?" He asked me.
„I'm alright, I guess...just the chemo side effects."
„I understand. It's not easy handling chemo and everything that comes with it mentally."
I nodded as Harry gently squeezed my hand again.
„Alright, let's get to your results." He grabbed some CT scans from his files. „This is your CT scan from a few months ago when we discovered that the cancer has spread to your lungs. See those black areas?"
Harry and I both nodded as we looked at it.
„This was all cancer." He said before he grabbed the second scan. „This was from your last appointment just after we started with the new treatment and the study. You can see that it's gone down significantly. It was gone in your lungs already and it has gone down in your lymph nodes a little as well, but there was still cancer we had to worry about that was aggressive." He told us, pointing to the scan where it's gone away and it was a huge difference.
„Now, these are today's CT scans." He put the old ones away and placed the new one in front of us. „As you can see here, there are no black spots. The treatment has worked just as I wanted it to."
My heart literally dropped as he said that. „It's- it's gone?" Tears filled my eyes.
„No black spots, that means it's gone? Right?" Harry asked him as well, his voice trembling.
The doctor nodded. „It's gone. Chemo finally destroyed everything. We checked all your organs which are all fine. Your liver looks good and nothing has spread anymore. It seems that after the transplant, we caught it just in time to stop from spreading more."
„Is this really true...? Is-...am I...cancer free?" I asked quietly.
„As you know best yourself, there is always a risk, but yes, you're cancer free. You did it again. You beat it."
I bit my lip hard in disbelief, trying not to lose it in front of him.
„I know after all you went through since February, this is hard to believe, but it's true, believe it. It's been a hard year, but you're gonna live." He said to me.
Harry looked at me with teary eyes and a small smile. „You're gonna live." He repeated, almost whispering it to me and I smiled back, nodding, some tears escaping my eyes.
„I...I don't know what to say...I just- I can't quite believe this." I turned back to the doctor.
„It's okay, try to let it sink in." He said.
„What's gonna happen now?" Harry eventually asked him.
„You're basically free to go. What you have to do now is recover from this. Your body has been through a lot this year and you need to rebuild your immune system now. You have to regain your strength and slowly get back to your life. You probably remember from last time that you'll have to start cancer rehabilitation to recover from everything. It can take up to six months until you've properly returned to normal life, but you'll start to feel stronger soon. Important is that you don't overdo it now and take care of yourself and your body. Take it easy. As usual you'll have to go to your check ups every few months as you know it. Other than that, congratulations, you'll get to ring the bell.
Congratulations, you'll get to ring the bell.
This sentence finally made me break down in tears. I've waited for this for so long and didn't think it would eventually still happen.