Aveline: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can't spend friendship on new clothes
Ezio : ARE YOU-
Arno: Fucking.
Ezio : KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Arno: Fucking.
Ezio : IDIOT!
Desmond: ...What was that?
Arno: Connor banned Ezio from swearing, so I'm helping him out.
Altaïr : Look, Arno, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.
Aveline: *running towards Connor with open arms*
Connor: *moves out of the way*
Aveline: Hey, why'd you move?!
Connor: I thought you were going to attack me.
Aveline: I was going to hug you!
Connor: Why would you hug me?
Aveline: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
Desmond: I'm bored, any suggestions?
Arno: Sleeping is nice.
Desmond: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I'm deciding to ignore it.
Desmond: Made you all playlists!
Desmond: Evie , yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.
Desmond: Arno, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.
Desmond: And Ezio has the ABBA Gold album.
Ezio: *sneaking in through his window*
Connor: *turning in his chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you've been all night?
Ezio: I was with Desmond?
Desmond: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?
Ezio & Aveline in the back of Arno's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!
Connor: We have food at home.
Arno: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*
Ezio & Aveline: YAYYYYYY!
Arno: *orders one black coffee and leaves*
Ezio : You know what I learned from my friendship with Altaïr ?
Arno: There's no such thing as too mean?
Desmond: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?
Connor: Always hold a grudge?
Altaïr : What is your favourite mythical story?
Arno: The Story Of My Will To Live.
Altaïr : I don't think I've heard of that one before.
Connor: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don't make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.
*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.*
Connor: *Minding his own business, looking for tortilla chips.*
Connor: *Finds tortilla chips.*
Ezio , to Desmond: See, he knows what he's here for. He knows what he's doing. Be more like him. Make a decision, Desmond!
Connor: Bye Aveline! Bye Arno! Bye Altaïr ! Bye Desmond! Bye Aveline!
Ezio : You said 'bye Aveline' twice.
Connor: I like Aveline.
Arno: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.
Aveline: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.
Altaïr : My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.
Arno: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.
Desmond: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.
Desmond: I am 39 cheetos tall.
Aveline: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos?
Desmond: Because we're out of doritos.