"We can eat somewhere else?" Jisoo said Friday night when we went to a barbecue restaurant and we saw Lisa, Hyeri, and Bogum having team dinner with at least 15 people.
I wanted to leave. Maybe run, even.
But for a split second, I had eye contact with her. With Lisa.
It was brief... and nothing to her. She didn't freeze like I did, didn't quickly look away like I did. So I decided that it shouldn't affect me either. I got to stop overreacting and just learn to ignore, too.
"I don't mind eating here," I said, going straight to the table for two that the server pointed at.
"Oh, it's Ms. Kim," some employees from their company who were seated near us recognized Jisoo, even bowing a little.
Jisoo just smiled and bowed too.
We tried to keep a light conversation as we ate and drank, but their group was noisy it was a bit hard to hear each other.
"Kim Jisoo! Mind introducing me to your company?" a gentleman from their table went to ours, smiling at me.
"Aren't you married yet Junmyeon?" Jisoo asked, though I heard playfulness in her voice.
"Yah! I don't even have a girlfriend!"
I laughed.
"Of course, you're so shy unless you're a bit drunk like this, you get the courage to talk to women," Jisoo smirked, "Jennie, this is my friend Junmyeon. He was from our company too, transferred to Lisa's."
He looked at me, smiling, "You know Lisa too?"
Smiling awkwardly, I just nodded. "What do you do Junmyeon?"
"I'm a brand manager. I work closely with Lisa, actually. I used to work for Jisoo but she was never around unlike Lisa who's a workaholic," he says the last part in a whisper, though he was just playing around.
Jisoo smacked his arm. "You're badmouthing us! You're even calling Lisa by her name!"
"Being a workaholic is a compliment, actually," he grinned. "And Lisa now prefers us to call her by name."
She must've changed a lot then.
Jisoo must have sensed my discomfort because the topic is around Lisa.
"So, seriously. No girl yet?" Jisoo asks him.
He shook his head, "Been too busy for that. How about you two?"
"Just meeting lots of people but no one's really that interesting yet," Jisoo casually replied.
He nodded and then looked at me, waiting.
"Just got out of a relationship," I honestly answered.
"Stupid dude, honestly," Jisoo blurts. "Now that Jennie's single again I bet it won't take people long to realize and fall in line for my bestfriend!"
Her voice was too loud that some people heard, laughed, and even yelled in support. "Yes girl!" "You're a catch!"
I looked down in embarrassment while these two were laughing.
I don't know how much time has passed but Junmyeon already bid his goodbye after a while to come back to his friends and then eventually leave.
Jisoo was also starting to get drunk while I refused to drink more since I want us to get home safely.
The restaurant became quieter as only the soft music is heard, with people leaving or falling asleep out of drunkness.
I know I shouldn't look over my shoulder and take a glance. I really shouldn't.
"I caught that!" Jisoo giggles her drunk ass off, leaning closer and whispering. "You were staring at your ex."
I did, just to check if she left already. She was still there, talking to Bogum.
"So?"
"You little slut," she giggles still.
I rolled my eyes, "You're drunk. Let's get you home."
It was a struggle because her steps kept faltering, thankfully the female server helped us out.
As we stepped outside the restaurant, a familiar looking man in his 40s rushed to us, "Some things never change, eh?"
My eyes lit up. "Taecyeon!" It's Lisa's driver who's also like a father figure to her in a way.
His warm smile greeted me, "Hello, Jennie. It's been a long time, I'm glad to see you. I'll drive you and Miss Kim home."
I furrowed my brows just as he assisted Jisoo from the other side, letting the server come back inside the restaurant. I thanked her.
"We can just take a cab, Taecyeon. I don't want Lisa to think..."
"Lisa asked me to drive you girls home," he said.
Confusion got to me.
"Sweet Lisa!" Jisoo giggles.
"Are you sure? But-"
"Come on, you know how Lisa is," he smiled kindly. "She just wants you girls to get home safely. I'll pick her up afterwards."
After Jisoo being settled in the backseat, I came to face him, "You still know where Jisoo lives, right?"
He nods.
"Then please bring Jisoo home safely. I'll just take a cab home."
"What? Jennie!" Jisoo whines.
"Chu, I'm not even drunk. I'll just stroll around first and buy something for Mom."
Taecyeon kept insisting but I kept refusing, slowly walking away while bowing at him.
I took a deep breath and stopped just in front of a nearby store, having more time to think about everything. Everything that comes with Lisa. Her, doing all these stuff.
"Jennie."
My thoughts stopped, hearing the voice of that person in my mind. I slowly faced her. Behind me was Lisa, now wearing her thick coat, her nose red from the cold, probably just like I am.
"Taecyeon said you refused," she cleared her throat, "Sorry. I just checked if you're still here."
I was starting to get annoyed.
"Why are you doing all this?" I asked, and I know I am talking about her sending me food and now, wanting her driver to bring me home.
"Do you want me to hail you a cab?" she asks instead.
Andrew would be pissed if he knew my ex is trying to do all these things for me.
"I thought I asked you to stay away."
"I did," she answers seriously but not looking at me, "So I'm not doing things myself."
She raised a hand to get the cab driver's attention, but it drove past us, probably with passenger already.
"Stop doing anything for me."
She nodded, "I will. Just let me do this last one," she said, trying to get another cab but again, it drove past us.
Annoyed, I held her forearm and brought it down, "Stop playing with me."
"I'm not playing with you," she answers quietly, it annoys me. It annoys me more that she's still avoiding my gaze. She let out a deep breath, "I just can't help but worry."
"What are you even worried about!" I snapped, "I can fucking go home alone, safely."
She winced, hearing me curse.
"I know."
"Then you just like to play me. Because you don't even have to do this."
"Jennie..." she looked at me, "It's because I never stopped loving you."
I held my breath upon hearing her say those words as if it's only natural for her to say it.
"There," she whispers, more to herself, her eyes now on the road once more. That's when I realized a cab stopping before us. She looked at me after opening the door. "Get home safely."
I let out a disbelieving, strained laugh, looking away as my face heated up. "You're really unbelievable, you know that? Sending me home right after saying something like that?"
"I shouldn't have said it, I know, but I didn't want you to think I was toying you," she said, worried. Then she sighed, closing the door and signaling for the driver to wait. "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" my eyes grew hot and heavy.
"For burdening you with my feelings right now... For not doing everything to keep you years back. For everything I did that's hurting you until now," she says, quiet but honest, "I'm sorry for making you cry."
I didn't even realize I was crying. I didn't even know why.
"It's... It's because of a lot of things going wrong," I wiped my tears, "I'm not crying because of you. I'm just tired of a lot of things, Lisa."
I kept explaining myself, I hated it. I didn't even cry that much these past few weeks, I just felt numb. Now I feel like all my problems are catching up and I don't know why now, of all days. God.
"Okay," she says, "But I'm here if you ever need someone to listen."
"I just... I'll go home," I avoided her gaze.
"Let's get you home," she says instead.
I looked at her with a frown.
She looked at me sadly, and although she seemed to have hesitation in her eyes, she nodded defeatedly.
I know she's worried but I'm glad she let me be. She just stepped aside and let me enter the cab on my own, not uttering a word.
She just stared.
Sadly.
-
Work is excruciatingly taking my mind off things. It wasn't by choice, this job was actually taking up a lot of my time and I had to coordinate with lots of people. I was slowly starting to get used with my days being jam-packed with meetings. It's very different from before when I was just in a small branch.
I have more people that I manage too.
To say the least, it was exhausting adjusting in this new environment and having to quickly familiarize myself with people, especially my staffs.
I'm just thankful that my team is full of passionate talents. Somi and Sejeong helps me manage the staffs and they both report to me as well. Which is why I've gotten pretty close to them too.
"Jen, don't look yet. Cute guy staring, 2 o'clock..." Sejeong, who's sat beside me, grinned mischievously.
Somi looked behind us excitedly, then frowned, "Ew, Sejeongie. I get that JYP is rich as fuck but have you no shame? He's married and with kids your age!"
I bursted out laughing. She's talking about one of the executives of our company.
"Stupid. 2 o'clock from our side!" she hissed in a semi-whisper.
And then she quickly looked over her shoulder.
It's so embarrassing that even Sejeong looked down on her plate... while I made eye contact with someone familiar.
"Oh, he's staring at Jennie! He likes her," Somi pouted at me, "He likes you."
"He doesn't," I quietly say, "We just know each other."
Jisoo introduced him to me before. I think his name is Junmyeon.
"Oh, oh, oh, he's heading this way!" Sejeong says, pinching my forearm under the table.
I winced. "You guys forget I'm your boss sometimes."
"Stop being so high and mighty, it's lunch break!" Somi looks amused. "Okay girls, act natural. Pretend like we haven't been looking at him creepil-"
"Hey," Junmyeon greets us... or me, specifically. "Jennie, it's nice to see you again. I hope you remember me, I'm-"
"Of course I remember you, Junmyeon."
He beams.
"Sit with us," Somi taps the space beside her, seemingly excited. I'm just glad Junmyeon didn't seem freaked out. Instead, he gladly sat beside her and got to know my friends.
Well, I guess I could really consider these two my friends now. I'm comfortable with them and they just seem to be at ease with me even if they respect me as their boss when it's work time.
Junmyeon is still as bubbly as the first time I met him. My friends were completely swooned over.
Although I kept noticing him glance at me in the middle of their conversation. I'm not really much of a talker, especially to people I'm not too close with, but I laughed a lot while listening to them.
He would smile at me whenever I let out a laugh.
So there's that, my work and friends taking my mind off things. Sometimes when they spot Junmyeon, they would ask him to come over and have lunch with us. I think he's dined with us at least four times for this month.
It's weird because it's like the world has gotten smaller, we would even bump into each other in the elevators sometimes.
"Is that what you're wearing to the party?" Somi asks just as she got out of Sejeong's room.
She changed from her office attire and is now wearing a tube top, short skirt and a black laced stockings with high heels. Sejeong is wearing a short sleeved blouse tucked in a short skirt too, although not revealing as Somi's.
I looked at my own clothes. White long sleeves tucked in my black pencil skirt. "What's wrong with it?" I pouted.
"It's a club!" Sejeong says, "That Junmyeon rented for his birthday. Anyway, it's a club! Your chance to meet a cute guy and bang!"
Somi bursted out laughing while watching my reaction intently, which is a horrified look.
"I don't want to bang a random cute guy!"
"Then bang Junmyeon as his birthday gift," Somi jokes teasingly, winking when I glared at her then rushed towards me, "Let's at least make you bang-ready boss! Sejeong got some outfits here that would look good on you."
"Somi!" I groaned, but even Sejeong was laughing while pushing me too.
"Just try it, I promise we'll get you the perfect fit. No need to bang anyone."
"Unless you want to, of course!" Somi added with a giggle.
-
"Yeah, girl! Slay for me!" Somi shouts, then grins at Sejeong who was busy placing my hand on the wall because I can't pose to save my life, "That's our creation right there."
They did my hair and make up too.
Both of them were so excited, even looking satisfied with the way Junmyeon's jaw dropped when he saw me.
"Happy birthday," I shyly greeted him.
"Thanks. You look really gorgeous, Jennie..." he said breathlessly, then smiled sheepishly at my friends who coughed, "You too, Somi and Sejeong."
"Thanks!" Somi beamed, her eyes roaming the busy club, "Damn, your party is packed. All these your friends?"
"My friends and their friends," he laughs, his eyes back on me, "I reserved you girls a seat on our table."
My cheeks were hot as he guided us to his table, his hand on the small of my back. I felt some eyes on me too.
I froze when I realized that he's guiding me towards where Hyeri and Bogum are. But... no Lisa in sight. I guess that's a good thing.
Bogum and Hyeri didn't bring her up either. They just casually conversed with us, with Junmyeon almost not leaving my side except when some friends call for him from the other tables.
He's been gone for a few minutes when I felt the other ones look up.
"Ms. Manoban!" Somi shrieked.
My breath hitched.
"Oh gosh, it's so nice to finally meet you closely," Sejeong even stood up, wiping her palm on the side of her skirt excitedly. Somi stood up too...
"I'm Somi! We work with Ms. Kim Jisoo."
I heard Lisa laugh while shaking Somi's extended hand, then Sejeong's.
I had no idea these two adores Lisa that much.
"Just call me Lisa."
"I'm Sejeong, and this is our boss, Jennie."
I gulped, bringing my drink back to the table. Lisa looked surprised but gave me a soft smile and a nod.
"Hey..." he also nodded at her friends who seemed to suddenly be smiling mischievously. "Where's the birthday celebrant?"
I just noticed she's holding a bottle of wine, probably her gift. Knowing her, that must be expensive as hell.
"He'll be back, just sit with us," Somi still looked astonished while eyeing her creepily.
"Yeah, please sit down," Sejeong points at Junmyeon's empty spot beside me.
Lisa and I made a brief eye contact... and I only managed to give her a small, shy nod.
She smells ridiculously great... always have been.
She's also dressed more casually... but also ridiculously great.
I feel so ridiculous tonight.
"Okay..." Lisa settles beside me, looking unsure of how to act.
When I realized that the others are easily into their own world again, jamming with the vibe and music, talking to each other and just drinking, I decided to make it less awkward for us and make small talk. "How have you been?" I asked quietly, looking at my drink lamely.
I felt her gaze on me as if surprised and unsure if I was really talking to her so I raised my gaze to meet hers shortly, and a smile that I hope didn't look too awkward.
"Better," she also quietly answers, averting her gaze elsewhere so I chose to focus on my drink too.
I thought she would end our conversation at that.
"You?" she asks a little while later. I almost didn't hear it.
"Also better."
She hums, taking a drink and sipping on it.
"Lis, you made it!" Junmyeon arrives with a huge grin, then frowns, "And you took my seat."
"There's plenty of space here, don't be so dramatic," Hyeri rolls her eyes, moving to give him space.
He pouted, "But I want to sit beside Jen."
"Whipped," Somi coughs, making the others laugh.
Lisa too. She stood up, "Happy birthday," she stood up and gave him the wine she was holding, "Here, have my seat too."
"You're the best," he hugs her, grinning, before he reclaimed his spot beside me.
I forced a smile feeling him inch closer towards me, my gaze meeting Lisa's who's now a few seats across mine.
When she smiled though... it made my smile at ease. Maybe we don't have to be so awkward around each other anymore.