Plot: Stolas passes away after him and Blitzø being married for years. Months after the funeral, a lonely Blitzø meets up with Verosika by chance
⚠️TW: Character death, thoughts of suicide, mentions of attempted suicide⚠️
Requested By: GoJrider
~☆~
"We're going to be friends forever, right?"
"Forever and always."
"You're going to love me forever, right?"
"Forever and always."
"We're going to be together forever, right?"
"Forever and always, right Stolas?" Blitzø said as he looked down at the headstone. Stolas was buried a couple days ago, and Blitzø hadn't left his side since then. Loona and Octavia understood, so they decided to just leave him be, unless of course he stayed out there for weeks on end, but it was only one day so far.
"You said forever, damnit! Why the fuck did you have to go and get yourself killed?!" He yelled, punching the ground. He was angry, though that quickly faded into pure grief as the tears flowed from his eyes. "Why didn't you call me when they left you there? I could've saved you...I could've-" he was cut off by a sob escaping his throat. He tucked his knees to his chest and buried his face in his arms.
Stolas had been kidnapped a few days before he was found beaten and bloody in the middle of nowhere. Of course, Blitzø had been the one who found him, and the first one to see that there was no chance of him coming back alive, despite the fact that Blitzø tried. He was dead when they found him, and when they got back, Fizzarolli was the one to bring Blitzø back from the delusion that Stolas would come back to him.
Blitzø seemed like he would never stop crying, even though everyone was trying to help him get through this. They left him alone for a few days, but when Fizz found out, he didn't leave Blitzø's side. He knew what Blitzø was thinking, especially with how badly he wanted to see Stolas again, and he wasn't willing to let Blitzø add another dead body to the list. It was honestly for the best, anyway, seeing as Fizzarolli was the only one who seemed to be able to keep Blitzø somewhat stable and calm.
And now he was here, sobbing again next to the headstone of his departed lover. It still didn't feel real, and he wanted so badly for this all to just be a horrible nightmare. Yeah, that was it. Soon, he would wake up and Stolas would wrap him in his arms and hold him tight while humming his favorite tune. He would give him his skeleton horse plushie and cover them back up with the blanket before lulling him back to sleep. He just wished he knew when he would wake up.
Soon, the rain started. Blitzø didn't care, after all, it was his and Stolas' favorite weather. Was this Stolas' way of telling Blitzø that everything was going to be okay? He didn't know, but it wasn't working.
Fizz stepped out of Asmodeus's car, holding the umbrella above his head. He sighed and walked through the gate and over to his soaked, crying friend.
"I had a feeling you'd be here." Blitzø didn't say anything, just attempting to curl himself up into a smaller ball of misery. Fizz crouched down to Blitzø's level, holding the umbrella over both of them. "I know you don't want to leave him, but I'm sure he wouldn't want you to just sit out here to get sick and die."
Blitzø slowly lifted his head. Fizz was right, that is something Stolas would say. Still, he wasn't fond of the idea of leaving, and he defiantly didn't want to go home to just remember that Stolas wasn't there to greet him. He wasn't sure where else he would want to be other than here.
Fizz could tell exactly what was going on in Blitzø's mind. "Do you wanna come stay with me and Ozzie? You can stay until you're ready to go home."
Home? Home doesn't feel like home anymore. Stolas was his home. Stolas was his life. Without him, Blitzø felt as though he wasn't able to stay anywhere but right here where Stolas was. But he didn't want to upset Fizz, so he just took his friends outstretched hand and allowed him to lead him to the car.
Blitzø shivered when he sat down, scooting himself all the way to the far side to look out the window. Fizz grabbed the towel he brought and wrapped it around his friend. Blitzø didn't react. Fizz sighed and looked at his boyfriend, signaling for him to take them home.
Blitzø didn't say anything or react to anything going on around him. He was just mesmerized by watching the rain droplets race each other as they fell down the window. He was completely zoned, at least until he felt Fizzarolli's hand on his knee.
"Want me to call Loona and get her to bring you some clothes and stuff?" He asked. Blitzø didn't want to argue or anything, so he just nodded without ever breaking his concentration from the window.
~☆~
Blitzø stepped out of the shower, shivering a bit due to the quick transition from warm to cool. Fizz insisted that he took a shower when they got there, and he just complied. It was very out of the ordinary for Blitz to comply so easily. Even if it was something he was going to do anyway, he'd either have some snarky remark or just argue because he always had a problem with doing what he was told. This just made everyone even more concerned.
Fizz knocked on Blitzø's door, slowly opening it to see Blitz just stepping out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.
"I just got your bag from Loona. Go ahead and get changed into some pajamas and follow me. We're gonna get some dinner in you since I assume you haven't eaten since..." he stopped himself quickly. Blitzø still didn't verbally respond, just nodding his head and opening his bag as Fizz left the room. Lucky for him, his pajamas sat on the top of the pile in his bag, so he didn't have to get frustrated digging for what he needed. He quickly paused when he saw what pajamas Loona had packed, they were the ones Stolas got for him for his birthday last year. It wasn't anything special considering that Blitzø didn't particularly like wearing fancy pajamas to bed, it was just a pair of black pajama pants with red skeleton horses on them and a black tank top with a red flannel to match. Even if it wasn't fancy, it was still special to Blitzø. Loona most likely grabbed them because she knew they were his favorite. He sighed, not wanting to bring much attention to its connection to Stolas as he put them on.
He didn't waste any more time in the room, leaving shortly after and walking down the hall with Fizz. It was silent the entire time, neither knew what to say. Fizz didn't want to accidentally say anything that would upset Blitzø, and Blitzø was worried that the second he started speaking he would just burst into tears. He hated crying in front of people, he already felt bad enough for crying in front of his coworkers and daughters. The last think he wanted was to cry in front of Fizz and Asmodeus.
Eventually they made it to the dining room where Asmodeus sat at the table. Fizz smiled and gave a small wave while Blitzø just forced a small smile on his face as he sat next to Fizz.
Fizz was the first to speak after a few minutes of awkward silence. "I told them to just keep it simple. You still like chicken tenders and mac 'n cheese, right?"
Blitzø chuckled a bit, the first genuine laugh that they've seen in a while from him. "You mean my favorite depression meal? Cause the answer is yes."
Fizz gave a smug smile in Ozzie's direction. "See? I told you I know him best."
"Which is surprising since we've only been friends again for about four years," Blitzø said as the other imps came in with their food. "Let me guess, soda too?"
"Yup. And being friends again after all this time means nothing, most of your likes and habits haven't changed," Fizz said.
"Yeah yeah, shut your trap and eat," Blitzø said, which sent them all into silence once more.
~☆~
"So, dessert?" Fizz asked, honestly surprised when Blitzø shook his head.
"Nah, I'm pretty tired. I'm just gonna head to bed. See ya in the morning," Blitzø said, giving one last fake smile before heading to the bedroom. No jokes, no odd comments, just a normal exit. Even Ozzie knew that wasn't a good sign, but it was far too late to comment on it now since he was halfway to his room at that point.
Blitzø maintains his acting until he shut the door, to which he just leans against it and sighs. Maybe it was best to just try and sleep, acting somewhat happy was exhausting. Not to say that he didn't have a good time with Fizz and Ozzie during dinner, because he actually did have some genuine smiles and laughs, but throughout the entirety of it he just couldn't stop thinking about how much fun Stolas would've had too. Hearing his little owl sounding laughs would've been music to his ears.
Blitzø shakes those thoughts from his head and walks over to the bed. Sleep...yeah, sleep will do me some good, he thought.
He opened his bag to look for his toothbrush and toothpaste, when all of a sudden, a familiar item fell out of the bag. He didn't quite see what it was until he looked at the floor, but what he saw absolutely broke him. It was the stuffed skeleton horse Stolas got for him when he was sick a few years ago. It was his favorite thing, and he hated to admit that he slept with it every time he was either upset, sick, or Stolas wasn't around when he went to bed. But now the mere sight of the horse caused tears to pour from his eyes.
He collapsed to the floor and tucked his knees to his chest, sobbing into his arms. Once he felt calm enough to stand, he grabbed what he needed to get ready for bed. When he walked back into the room, he ended up looking back at the stuffed horse, bending down and slowly reaching his hand out to grab it before squeezing it tightly and crawling up onto the bed. He pulled the blankets over him and held the horse close as his eyelids grew heavy.
~☆~
"Are you sure you want to go by yourself? I'm sure Ozzie will let me go with you if you want," Fizz said. Blitzø was planning to go for a walk to clear his head, and he knew Fizz wanted to go with him to make sure he didn't either go back to the graveyard or do something stupid that would result in his death. It took a while for Blitzø to get this far into the conversation with Fizz just so he could make it out the door.
"I'm fine, Fizz, I promise. I'll be back soon. If anything, I'll probably stop at the store and pick up some ice cream or something for Loonie and Via. Don't worry, I'll come back," Blitzø reassured his friend, smiling at him before walking out the door.
Thankfully there weren't many people out today, so it mostly gave Blitzø the alone time he wanted. Maybe going to the store now would be okay. After all, Loonie and Via deserve a treat for dealing with my emotional bullshit, he thought.
As he headed in that direction, he kept his gaze on the ground, not feeling as confident as usual. He would most likely be avoiding eye contact for a while, the ground wasn't so bad anyway. Though his lack of paying attention to people caused him to end up bumping into someone, causing them to fall to the ground. Blitzø immediately turned around to look at them.
"Shit, I'm so-" he stopped as soon as he saw who it was, but defiantly wasn't in the mood to be mean so he just finished his statement. "Sorry, Verosika..." He said, his voice low.
"Blitzo..." she said, anger laced in her voice, at least, until she saw the state her ex was in. She had never seen him like this before, so down, so depressed, so...broken. That was when she noticed his red, puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "Are...you okay?"
He scoffed, "why do you care?"
"Well...you just look down I guess. It's weird and I was just making sure, no need to be an ass about it," she said, crossing her arms.
Blitzø recognized this behavior immediately. She would never directly say that he was worried or anything of the sort. She would deflect and try to make it seem like she meant to be harsh. Still, Blitzø had no clue why she was trying to nose her way into his business, and he wasn't going to just pour out his feelings to his ex.
"Anyway, where's your little owl prince? It's rare when you're not walking with him. What, he finally broke up with you?" She said, intending to be harsh this time but waz taken aback by what she saw.
Pure anguish, it was written all over his face. She recognized the look in his eyes, he was trying to hold back tears. What the hell happened? She thought.
"Just drop it, okay? I'm not in the mood to deal with your shit," he said, beginning to walk off. Verosika didn't back down, following him instead. He noticed her immediately and turned around to glare at her angrily. "What the fuck do you want?!" He yelled, his voice cracking from the sobs he choked back.
"You look like you're about to throw yourself off a bridge, and I'm not gonna be the last one you walk away from before you kill yourself," she said.
Blitzø rolled his eyes. Sure, he's thought about ending it all, and he may have tried one time, but Verosika was the last person he wanted to talk to about this.
"Again, why do you care? You've never cared about me before so just fuck off, Verosika," Blitzø said.
She sighed, "you're right, I haven't cared before, but the last thing I want is for you to just drop dead." Blitzø didn't know how to respond to that, and she knew it. "Look, tell you what, how about we go get some food and some coffee? We don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to, but I at least want to make sure you stay alive."
Blitzø sighed, wiping the tears from his eyes, "fine, but the second you try something funny I'll kick your fucking ass."
Verosika rolled her eyes, "noted."
~☆2
"So, what have you been up to? I haven't heard anything about your bitchiness lately," Blitzø asked, taking a sip of his coffee. He sat at a small table across from Verosika.
"Shut the fuck up, I've been busy. Besides, I haven't heard anything about your business lately either," she mentioned.
Blitzø looked away, though he wasn't exactly looking at her to begin with. "We've closed up for a bit..."
She didn't register his sad tone, "are you and the birdbrain doing something special? You haven't closed down for this long since you and him got married. Every second you two were gone as pretty much all people talked about." She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I don't see why people are so obsessed with you and Sto-" Blitzø immediately snapped.
"Are you just shut up about him?!" He yelled, already feeling the tears brimming to life in his eyes.
He just wanted it to stop, for everyone to just stop talking to him about Stolas for at least a little bit. Why couldn't they just give him time to stop thinking about it for at least a fucking week?! And now they're back at it again, even his ex was talking about him. Was that all Stolas was to them? Just someone to talk about? To gossip about? He supposed that they just didn't see him like he did and wouldn't take time out of their lives to at least get to know that Stolas had feelings too. But then again, Blitzø was the only one who wanted to at the time, which is probably why Stolas became so attached to him in the first place, because he was the first one who cared.
Verosika was taken aback, not really knowing what to do except stare. What was so bad about her mentioning his husband?
"Did you two break up or-" he cut her off again.
"He's fucking dead, Verosika! He's dead, okay?!" He couldn't stop the tears from flowing from his eyes. He stood from his seat and grabbed his stuff, looking at her one final time before storming out. She didn't just stay there; however, she instead grabbed her stuff and chased after him.
"Blitzo!" He paused and turned to her.
"What?! What do you fucking want?!" She could hear how his voice cracked and how he was clearly struggling to not break down.
"I... I'm sorry. I didn't know and I shouldn't have brought it up," she said. Blitzø was taken aback. She was being sincere.
He took a breath in an attempt to calm himself down a bit as he wiped some tears off of his cheeks. "No I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You couldn't have known, so I shouldn't have gotten mad at you for trying to make conversation."
She smiled a bit, pleased that he didn't run off again. "It's okay, I won't bring it up again," she pulled out her phone, "do you still have my number?"
"No, why would I?" He said, looking at her like she's stupid.
She sighed, "gimme your phone." He hesitated, but she insisted. She began to type something in. "Here's my number, call or text me if you want to talk or whatever. You seem pretty upset so..."
He smiled a bit as he took his phone back, "Yeah...thanks." Things were silent for a moment, which was a little awkward, so Blitzø spoke again. "Anyway, I should probably go. And I'm sure you want to get back to whomever you were going to see." He started to walk away.
It took a second for her to register what he had said, but shouted at him when she figured it out. "I wasn't seeing anyone, jackass!"
He smirked at turned his head to look at her. "Whore!" He yelled while flipping her off.
"Bastard!" She yelled as well, doing the same to him and walking in the other direction.
Blitzø pulled out his phone and looked at his new contact, smiling before switching to Loona's contact to call and let her know that he would be a bit late. Hmm, maybe I should call Verosika later.