1.
I never deserve the things I need
I was meant to live my life alone
Nothing's ever good enough
(On My Honor-Tired)
The alarm was ringing, annoying. Carina woke up and turned it off. She rubbed her eyes and snorted. All she wanted was to stay in bed and keep sleeping but of course she couldn't. Next to her, Maya was still asleep, snoring softly. Carina could do nothing but smile at that sight. After all they went through, seeing her wife there, in their bed, always made her cry happy tears. Their love had been stronger than everything and they were still there, together, despite everything and everyone.
"Ti amo." Carina whispered, sweetly kissing Maya's hair. She got up and headed to the bathroom, then prepared herself some coffee and had breakfast. Once finished she got dressed and collected her own stuff, ready to leave the house and go to work.
"You didn't wake me up." Maya mumbled, her eyes still shut despite her being up. Carina smiled and stepped forward to her.
"That's because you need to sleep. You had a pretty intense shift yesterday, you deserve to rest."
"Mmh-mmh." Maya just replied, without opening her eyes. Carina chuckled and gently kissed her.
"Ti amo." she whispered. "See you later." she waved her goodbye.
"'later." Maya mumbled, going back to bed. Carina giggled and left the apartment, not really wanting to. She got in her car and took her wallet out of her purse. She opened it and let out a sigh, an old photograph in her hand. It pictured Andrea and her, happily building a sand castle on the beach. She remembered that summer so well. They had spent the whole time at their grandparents' beach house. Their grandpa who kept buying them ice cream, their grandma cooking all the time and teaching them her recipes, her brother playing with her, all those memories hit her all of a sudden, so painful and healing at the same time. She felt a tear rolling down her cheek and wiped it with the back of her hand. She put the photograph back in the wallet and started the car. She missed Andrea so much, everyday. Also, she hated leaving Maya, especially when the blonde had a free day. Things between them were going much better now, but they were still adjusting to that new phase of their life. Moreover, they had discussed about their desire of having a baby and in the end they had come to the conclusion that wasn't the right time. They had just gone back to normal and they needed to be careful. And that awareness hurt so much. Her phone ringing forced her to awaken from her thoughts.
"Bailey, hey."
"DeLuca, hi. Listen, are you at the hospital?" Bailey asked.
"Not yet, but I'm on my way. I'll be there in ten."
"Okay, great. Please, can you come to my office before starting your shift? I have something to discuss with you.". Carina frowned, a bit alarmed.
"Is everything okay? I mean, did I do anything wrong?" she questioned, anxious.
"It's nothing serious, don't worry. It's about the clinic, they sent me some data about the affluence and I'd love you to see them, so that we can help those women in a better way." Miranda explained. Carina breathed in relief.
"That's great, really. See you later.". She kept driving, until she finally arrived at Grey's Sloan. She parked the car and got out of it, headed to the entrance of the hospital. She was about to cross the threshold, when someone bumped her and all of a sudden she found herself on the ground. She raised her gaze. In front of her there was a girl who should have been about sixteen years old, with black hair and two incredibly blue eyes that were nervously staring at her. Next to her there was an old blue skateboard, quite battered.
"I'm... I'm sorry." she apologized. "I was on my skateboard and I didn't see you, I..."
"It's okay." Carina reassured her. "Are you hurt? The asphalt isn't exactly the most comfortable place to fall on.". The girl faked a smile and shook her head in no.
"I'm fine." she said. Carina helped her stand up and decided to check on her anyway, inviting her to sit down on a bench near the entrance of the hospital.
"I told you I'm fine."
"Yeah, but I'm a doctor and I just want to be sure that everything is truly okay." Carina told her. "Here, your right elbow is a bit scraped. If you want we can go inside and I can clean and disinfect it."
"Go inside... The hospital?" the girl asked, tense. "Thanks for the offer, but it seems nothing serious and I have to go, so..."
"Are you sure? If it's because you fear I can call your parents, I promise you I won't.". The girl jerked, but tried to hide it. She looked at the woman, not really knowing what to do. She knew that her elbow wasn't seriously wounded, but at the same time she was aware of the fact that not disinfecting it could lead to worse problems.
"I... Okay." she gave in, finally. Carina smiled at her and beckoned her to follow her inside. They walked through a long corridor for a while, until the doctor gestured her to enter in a small room and sit down. The girl nervously watched the older woman collecting some disinfectant, gauzes and bandages, bouncing her leg up and down. Carina seemed to notice her state of distress and gently laid a hand on her knee, to help her calm down.
"Hey, keep calm. I won't hurt you." Carina reassured her. "What's your name?". The girl looked at her, clearly not knowing if answering or not.
"I... You can call me K." the girl said, finally. The doctor wondered what her name could ever be, aware that probably she didn't trust her enough to give it to her. Also, Carina had noticed how scared the girl was at the thought that she could call her parents. It was very early in the morning and there were no high schools near the hospital, so perhaps she was ditching school. Or maybe she had run away from home and in that case the ob-gyn would have had to call the police.
"Nice to meet you, K. I'm Carina." the doctor introduced herself.
"It's a pleasure." the girl said. "You have a strange accent, has anyone told you that?". Carina giggled, while pouring some disinfectant on the gauze.
"Yeah, a lot of people. I come from Italy." she explained. "Okay tesoro, can you pull up your sleeve?". K did as told, hesitantly. As Carina passed the gauze on her elbow, she hissed, in pain.
"I'm done, I swear you." the woman told her, tenderly looking at her. She had noticed several bruises on her arm and she was a bit concerned about them. However, she decided to act like she hadn't see anything, not to scare the girl. She took the bandage and put it on the elbow, with gentleness. She then squeezed K's shoulder and gave her another smile.
"All done." she said.
"Thank you." the girl muttered.
"It was a pleasure." Carina reassured her, once again. "Do you need anything? Maybe a bottle of water?"
"I..." K tried to answer, but she was too nervous to do it.
"There is a vending machine at the beginning of the corridor, I'll be back in a while. Stay here.". K tried to stop her, in vain. In a matter of seconds Carina stepped outside the room, leaving her alone. She looked around, full of anxiety. She waved a hand through her hair, sobbing desperately. She couldn't stay there, at all. That doctor was so kind, too kind for her to bother with her shitty life. Because yes, at that point she was sure Carina had seen the bruises on her arm and she knew too well what would have happened. And maybe the doctor thought she could help her, but truth was that no one could. That was the reason why she needed to leave that place as soon as possible. With some luck she would have even managed to find a safe place to spend the rest of the day at.
"I'm sorry, Carina." she mumbled, tears in her eyes. And then, she ran away.
________________
"Here you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!" Miranda started, finding Carina at a vending machine buying some water
"Miranda, I'm sorry. I... I was in time, but I had a small accident outside the hospital.". Bailey widened her eyes, a bit worried now.
"What happened? Are you okay?" she asked, concerned. Carina nodded, then leaned against the wall.
"Yes, I'm fine. A girl bumped me and fell on the ground, scraping her elbow. I decided to disinfect it, just in case." she told the surgeon.
"Wait, you used medical supplies that belonged to the hospital to secretly treat a girl that wasn't even a real patient?"
"That elbow was just scraped, Miranda. And I only used a bit of disinfectant and a bandage. Meredith and Schmitt used to steal medical supplies she then used to cure people outside the hospital.". Bailey chuckled, thinking back to when Meredith had been condemned to community service and had practically started a clandestine clinic. "And for the record, she did the right thing."
"I know." Miranda agreed. Carina glanced at her office, then turned again to the chief of surgeon.
"Listen, she is in that room now and seems very distressed and nervous. I think... I think she may have run away from an abusive situation, I saw some bruises on her arm. So, if it's not a problem, we can talk about the clinic another time, I'd rather check on her."
"It's okay. I can come with you though, just to understand if everything is alright.". The two doctors headed to the room where Carina had left K. However, when they entered it, they froze. The girl wasn't there.
"Bailey, I... Dio, sono un'idiota!"
"I can call security. She is a minor, after all." Miranda said. When she didn't hear Carina responding, she frowned. She turned around and saw the Italian standing still, her eyes full of tears.
"DeLuca, I'm not mad, she wasn't even..."
"It's not that." the Italian said. "It's the wallet." she stated. "She stole my wallet.".
Ti amo: I love you
Tesoro: sweetheart
Dio, sono un'idiota: God, I'm an idiot
Author's note
Hello! This is my first story in this fandom.
I'm actually posting it on AO3 too and I will try to update every Wednesday.
Thank you for reading, I hope you like it!