He sat in his own room, eating a meatless soup and trying not to whine about it, while Jiang YanLi sorted through his clothes. "You need something that says 'powerful cultivator' while at the same time says 'not healthy enough to be challenged to a duel'," she muttered. "Why are your robes all practical? Don't you have anything... just for looking pretty?"
Wei WuXian swallowed his current mouthful. "I'm the head disciple of a sect. I'm supposed to be practical, not just pretty. What about those gauzy ones I wore to your pre-wedding banquet? Those sleeves are definitely not practical."
"Yes!" She brightened. "That's perfect. You looked very handsome in them, XianXian. They got you three marriage offers that night. I was expecting more, honestly.... Three is practically insulting given how handsome you looked."
"What?" He choked on his next mouthful.
"Don't worry. A'Cheng read through the offers and declined them all on your behalf. Not to say the offers weren't good, because they were. For the sect, they were very good. It's just that the women were not a good fit for you. You need a partner who is strong enough to stand up to your excessiveness."
"I don't have excessivenesses," he grumbled.
"And..." Jiang YanLi pulled out the gauzy sleeved outfit, "And you need someone who adores you, of course. And be willing to be a parent to all the strays you're going to collect."
"Strays?"
"Yes." She mock frowned at him. "Did you think you could hide that you coerced Wen Yuan into being enamored with you from us? His first sentence each morning is a request to visit XianGege. He asks, constantly, why am I to be called LiAyi if we're about the same age and you are to be called XianGege. Why aren't I LiJiejie or you XianShushu?"
Wei WuXian giggled. "All I did was play with a butterfly with him." He put on his most innocent face. "Why are you LiAyi? You're not old enough to be an Ayi."
"I'm a mother. So I'm Ayi. You're only three; he should call you Didi," she retorted. "Wear this tonight. A'Cheng says to stay silent as much as possible. Try to look like someone recovering. Lan WangJi has been instructed to Silence you if necessary." She sighed and fiddled with one of the sleeves. "A'Xuan says he and his mother have a plan to deal with Jin GuangShan once and for all. They won't tell me what they're planning.... It worries me."
"You discussing my marriage worries me," he retorted. "Can't I just marry someone I like without," he fluttered his chopsticks holding hand around, "all that arranged marriage, political mess?"
"All marriages are political, A'Xian," Jiang Yanli smiled sadly. "Unless you have no family, no obligations to the people around you.... Even the fishmonger's marriage is political. He needs a wife who understands how he makes a living. A wife whose family repairs boats is probably a better match than the daughter of a candy maker. I have my eyes on several candidates who would be good for you as well as YunmengJiang. Hopefully, you will like one of them."
"Hopefully no one loses a hand tonight!" He quipped with an idiotic grin, trying to escape more talks of matrimony.
"Not funny," she snorted. "I will see you in a sichen, XianXian. Remember: speak as little as possible."
He snorted himself as she let herself out of the room. "Speak as little as possible? Impossible. What else is a mouth good for except for talking?" Despite being alone, he colored thinking of what else his mouth had been doing earlier that day.
Mouths, as it turned out, were quite good for things other than talking. Lan Zhan's mouth was really, extremely good at things other than talking. Which made him start to wonder.... If Lan Zhan's mouth felt that good on his face, mouth, hand, and so on.... Where else would it feel really good?
He had enough time to play that fantasy out to its natural conclusion before washing up and dressing in his extremely impractical robes.
Lotus Hall was filled with gossiping people when he edged his way into it. "Wei Xiong," Nie HusiSang grabbed his arm and dragged him into an almost secluded corner. "I heard the most fabulous news. You did it? You really healed your Core?"
Wei WuXian was confused as to why his friend would say 'healed' instead of some version of 'regained', but he played along. "Yes. It was a grueling few days, but... my Core is functioning again."
"Excellent. I suppose you didn't hear the news?" Nie HuaiSang was practically bristling with eagerness. "Su MinShan died yesterday. The official statement from Moling is that he committed suicide. Oddly enough, he died from stab wounds to the back." He smirked. "It's not completely impossible to neatly stab yourself in the kidneys a few times and then dispose of the weapon before you die without leaving a bloody trail to the weapon's hiding place. Challenging, but not impossible. In unrelated news, Jin GuangYao has disappeared from Koi Tower. I hope he stays disappeared."
Wei WuXian nodded his agreement. "You're a good friend, Nie Xiong." It didn't really matter if Su MinShan was murdered by Jin GuangYao or someone else. Dead was dead. Apparently his clan didn't care enough to avenge him, either. Or they knew exactly who the killer was, and didn't want to set him off on a rampage.
The other man fluttered his fan in embarrassment. "Me? What did I do? I didn't do anything."
Wei WuXian's casual, "Of course not," trailed off as his gaze locked on Lan WangJi. The older man was dressed in stark white, standing tall and strong and so handsome next to his older brother. Zhiji. His feet led him over to the pair without his conscious consent. "Lan ZongZhu, Lan ErGongzi," he bowed.
Lan XiChen smiled as he returned the bow. "It's good to see you looking so much better than the last time we met. I am pleased to know that GusuLan played a part, however small, in assisting your healing." He nodded knowingly at Suibian, gripped lightly in Wei WuXian's right hand.
"Thank you," Wei WuXian bowed again. "It's good to once again be able to carry Suibian. I look forward to the day when I have recovered sufficiently for us to have a friendly match."
"I look forward to that as well," the sect leader smiled. "Until that day, I offer my brother as a training partner. I know he missed sparring with you."
"I'm afraid I'm not going to be capable of giving Lan ErGongzi a decent match for some time." He let his eyes slide from the sect leader to the brother.
The brother... whose white outer robe had embroidered clouds sewn on in a pale, almost white, purple thread and was held together at the waist with a sash. A chiffon sash. An almost white purple sash. We match, Wei WuXian's brain stated, far too calmly. He's wearing the same color as me. My outer robes are made of the same material as his sash.
"Do you like WangJi's outfit?" Lan XiChen smiled. "Jin XiaoFuren gifted it to him as a thank you for his assistance in healing your Core."
"They're very nice," Wei WuXian spoke almost mechanically, his brain now screaming, He's wearing the same color as me!
He somehow found his way to his seat. And he must have eaten, as there were empty bowls on his table. He had no recollection of any of it. There had to have been toasts; in fact, one of the lesser clan leaders was making a toast (boast?) that somehow involved Jiang Cheng but was really just praising the speaker. Wei WuXian had no memory of drinking to any of the others. He wasn't even the slightest bit intoxicated. He politely raised his cup and drank it down once the boaster stopped talking, only to realize his 'wine' was water. Explains why I'm not drunk at least. He stole a quick glance at Lan WangJi who was overtly looking back over his own water cup. Not shy at all, are you? Lan Zhan's lips pursed slightly, and released. He just kissed me. In public. For everyone to see. Lan Zhan! His internal screaming would have startled the whole room if it was allowed to be audible.
"Enough!" Jin GuangShan yelled as yet another clan leader rose to his feet. "We've come here for two things. Jiang ZongZhu: where is the Yin Tiger Seal and what really happened to Wei WuXian."
After a sharp glare at his head disciple sitting next to him, Jiang WanYin shrugged carelessly. "As stated previously, the Yin Tiger Seal is a YunmengJiang artifact and not subject to the LanlingJin. Any punishments regarding Wei WuXian's potential lies regarding this item are internal to YunmengJiang and not subject to the LanlingJin. As for my Head Disciple? Wen Daifu has been treating him for over a year and just recently developed a method that has finally healed his damaged Core."
"Damaged Core?" A new voice hmmphed. "The way I heard it, he cut it out of himself and gave it to you!"
"You heard it wrong." Jiang WanYin's voice was resolute.
Another voice from the crowd yelled, "I heard it, too, Shandu ShengShou."
Nie HuaiSang fluttered his fan. "I absolutely adore how rumors get started. I suppose the story goes something like...." He paused dramatically and sighed deeply. "Set the stage! See the helpless Jiang WanYin, recently captured and condemned to death by the vicious Wen Chao upon the fall of Lotus Pier." One hand rose elegantly, pointing to an imaginary hero up near the ceiling. "See his shige, Wei WuXian, desperate to save his new sect leader!" The other hand rose, pointing to another section of the ceiling. "The young Head Disciple invades the Wen camp, evading all who mean to capture and execute him! He finds the young sect leader... in a dank dungeon... bound, gagged, and tortured to the point of having his Core melted by the Core Melting Hand! The Head Disciple is wise and powerful and sneaky beyond his years and steals his sect leader out from under the nose of the evil Wen! He takes his shidi to the best doctors in the jianghe, asking that they remove his Core and implant it into Sandu ShengShou. One by one, they reject him. 'One's golden Core is sacrosanct. One cannot simply excise it and implant it into another person. The Core will die along with the donor!' they cry." He looked around the Hall at his captive audience. "Finally, on a cold, windy, rainy night, they encounter a hedge wizard who says, 'what the Hell? It's your death, not mine. Make sure you've settled your debts first and I'll do it.' Wei WuXian is too poor to be able to pay back his debts, so he wills them to his sect leader to pay off and pulls apart his robes, baring his lower dantian to the wizard. 'Do it!' he commands."
"Why does it have to be a cold, windy, and rainy night?" Jiang Cheng interrupted. "Why can't we meet the hedge wizard on a pleasant and sunny day? Also... Lotus Pier's dungeons are not 'dank'; they're above ground and actually quite a pleasant place to play in."
"Stories about hedge wizards always have the heroes meeting them in unpleasant weather. It's necessary to set the tone."
"What debts did Wei WuXian have?" Jiang YanLi questioned. "My father paid him well for his services and no one in the town has ever had an issue with my shidi not paying for goods or food. All bills submitted to our treasurer were promptly paid."
"Fine!" Nie HuaiSang snapped. "Wei WuXian had no debts to will to Jiang WanYin. But they still met the wizard on a cold, rainy, day. Does that make the story more enjoyable?"
"Yes, thank you," Jiang WanYin nodded his thanks. "Much more realistic. What responsible hedge wizard is going to open his doors to strangers on a rainy night? It's practically a guarantee they're going to kill him."
"As I was saying before I was interrupted.... Wei WuXian pulls apart his robes, baring his lower dantian to the wizard. 'Do it!' he commands. The wizard pulls out a musty piece of leather and says, 'Bite on this. It's going to hurt!'."
"There's no way I'm putting some stranger's musty leather into my mouth before getting cut open," Wei WuXian shivered in disgust. "I'll bite my own belt, thank you. At least I know where my belt has been."
Nie HuaiSang's glare should have set his friend on fire. "'No!' Young Wei WuXian exclaims, removes his belt, and shoves that into his mouth just as the wizard pulls out a knife." Here, Nie HuaiSang modeled the absurdly large size of the knife about to gut his hero.
"No healer worth the name is going to do surgery with that thing," Wen Qing called out, disgusted. "Especially not in the lower dantian. Your wizard would use a knife with a handle that fits comfortably in the hand and a small blade."
Nie HuiaSang pouted. "The story is much better with a huge blade. Makes it more dramatic." He pouted even more. "Perhaps I should make you the hedge wizard," he threatened.
"Not while using such a blade," she retorted. "Besides... you already had your heroes ask the best doctors in the jianghe and we all turned them down. So, I can't be your hedge wizard." The room erupted in laughter.
The storyteller was undeterred. "With a grunt, the wizard slashes Wei WuXian's belly open."
"Lower dantian," Wen Qing reminds him. "He should have them strip their robes off entirely; cutting open a person with such a large knife gets very bloody very quickly."
"In the meantime," he speaks loudly over the newest interruption, "Jiang WanYin has also opened his robes and has his own belt shoved into his mouth. His sense of superiority tells him that he is entitled to his Head Disciple's Core."
"I would never think that," Jiang WanYin roared. "You make me unconscious! Do you hear me? Wei WuXian is beset by a sense of duty, knocks me out, and demands the wizard perform the transplant even though I strenuously objected!"
"Who's telling this story? Me or you?" Nie HuaiSang snapped.
"Tell it the right way!" Jiang WanYin roared as Lan XiChen stood up.
"As amusing as this story is to hear, and it really does do the rumors justice, Nie Gongzi, I applaud your skills.... We need to return to the topic at hand. Wei Gongzi was a guest in Cloud Recesses for several months. My healers worked with him to regain his physical health and repair his meridians. I was kept abreast of all interactions; not once did my healers mention that Wei Gongzi's Core was missing. Only that it was damaged by his use of yin energy during the war."
Wei WuXian hoped his burst of laughter was covered by his attempt to pretend it was a cough. Lies, Lan ZongZhu? I thought lying was against the Lan Rules? Or did the only one who examined me really not notice my Core was missing? After all, even Xu Daifu had thought it was suppressed by yin energy and not gone. Was the shear volume of yin energy coursing through my body enough to keep them from noticing?"
Enough of this farce," Jin GuangShan snarled. "Wei WuXian! Prove you have a Core!"
Dear readers.
For those of you in the United States, I hope you have a happy and safe Thanksgiving tomorrow.
I honestly had so much fun writing NHS's story. I made myself laugh over and over as I wrote it and as I edited it. If you laughed, too, please, please, please let me know in the comments. If you didn't laugh, please pretend you did and lie so well I can't tell the difference.
I might post later this week. It depends on how much time I get to myself. Definitely Monday for sure.
Thank you for reading and kudos and commenting.<br />
- Aitch.