I admit that sometimes my ideas are bad.
It doesn't happen often, but I think telling Jungwon to seduce Jay was definitely one of my worst.
We spent most of today making the last part of our journey to Daeyi, and Jungwon stayed by the gangster's side the entire time.
I rode on my zebra a little way behind, but my gaze was hawklike as I watched them together.
I also felt shaken up after last night's attack, but Jungwon and I discussed it with our troupe, and we didn't want to let it stop us from performing tonight.
Even still, it's Blessed-Cursed's fault it happened, so I like the leaders even less now than I did before.
Jay might have helped me in the ambush, but if he hadn't hijacked our troupe in the first place we wouldn't have been attacked at all.
Niki sensed my mood and spent his afternoon travelling beside me, making attempts to cheer me up with compliments and terrible jokes.
I let him try, and if I'm honest it worked a bit, but half of my focus was up ahead on Jungwon.
I noted the way my friend smiled and laughed when Jay spoke.
This is bad.
It was my stupid idea that he should get close to the leader to manipulate him, but either Jungwon is a better actor than I thought, or he actually likes him.
Which would be disastrous.
Terrible.
Catastrophic.
Nauseating.
I ran out of words in my head, but the horror must have been obvious on my face because Niki started laughing at me.
Though he finds everything I do amusing anyway.
He's not mocking me, if anything his laughter is affectionate, and it's kind of adorable. I'm not sure what I did, but for some reason he seems to like me.
He's not the only one - our circus is quite famous so I have more than a few fans out there. Niki can join the club.
We made a stop just before entering the city, and I caught him pouting when I left his side.
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, but I hid my smile as I walked away.
I then had to peel Jungwon from Jay to get ourselves ready for the evening.
I decided it wasn't the right time to mention my concerns, but I stayed with him to keep them apart as we entered the city.
Once inside we split off from Blessed-Cursed, and I was momentarily relieved, until I realised Jay was staying with us, along with a small unit.
He finished speaking to Heeseung and Sunghoon and immediately returned, gaze scanning over our parade in search of Jungwon.
I rolled my eyes.
"Come on." I said to my friend, urging us to head off, leaving Jay at the back.
I hope that Jake will be ok, the other Blessed-Cursed leaders took him with them, and Niki too.
I'm deep in thought, wondering why I feel disappointed by the fact that he didn't stay with us, when we finally arrive at the park we'll be performing in.
It's already dark but luckily we only need to set up the main tent for tonight's show.
Our hosts are paying for us to stay at a hotel afterwards. The small luxury is why this is one of my favourite places to visit when we go on tour.
We get to work setting up, and it doesn't take long for everything to be ready, so we have some time for a break before the gates open to the audience.
It's actually been helpful having the Blessed-Cursed members with us, just for the extra set of hands. And for violent gangsters, they actually seem to be having fun.
As far as our troupe know, they're an undercover unit of soldiers. They haven't interacted much, but I've overheard the gossip about what their mission might be. As well as the rumour that Jungwon is dating Jay, which I've denied to anyone who says it.
Whilst we take a rest, I go to sit with one of my friends; a stage hand called Daniel.
We catch up and share some snacks, but then Jay walks past and Daniel sighs, gazing at him dreamily.
"Wow he's so handsome... you said he's not dating Jungwon right? So could you maybe introduce me?"
I try not to roll my eyes again.
Jay is hot I'll give him that, somehow even in the sparkly circus costume he still looks menacing, dark eyeliner accentuating the black of his eyes.
It's a shame he's a raging psycho.
Obviously I can't tell Daniel that, because the Blessed-Cursed leader might actually kill him if he knew.
Besides, Jay really is completely obsessed with Jungwon.
I'm about to tell Daniel not to bother with him, but then I have a thought.
Jungwon absolutely cannot fall for Jay, it'll only end in tragedy and it would be all my fault for encouraging it.
So maybe this the perfect opportunity to put him off.
I turn to Daniel with a smile.
Barely a minute later, I'm dragging him over to Jay, and I'm introducing them.
"Jay! Hey bestie, I just wanted to say you look great today, this is such a cute look for you." I start, like we've been friends for years.
The Blessed-Cursed leader stares at me as if afraid for his life.
I grin even wider and pull Daniel forward more.
"Also, I know you were saying yesterday you'd love to learn more about how the circus runs, so I thought you should meet my friend Daniel; he can tell you all about it." I say enthusiastically.
Jay is frowning in complete and total dumbfounded confusion, I think he might be malfunctioning because his eye twitches.
I bet he doesn't even remember who I am, which only makes it funnier.
He opens his mouth, but I don't give him time to question anything.
"Ok have fun guys!" I say brightly, twirling around and striding away.
I know I can count on Daniel to flirt hard, so now I just need to find Jungwon.
As if summoned by my brain, he appears, entering the main tent and heading my way.
"Sun do you know where-" He starts, but breaks off and stops walking when his eyes settle on the scene behind me.
I glance back over my shoulder and see that Daniel is holding Jay's bandaged arm tenderly in his hands and making a fuss of him.
The Blessed-Cursed leader still looks traumatised, standing frozen in place.
Daniel smiles at him, and even from here it's clear that he's laying the charm on thick.
I glance at Jungwon, his eyebrows are furrowed and he's glaring.
"Hey." I say, snapping my fingers in front of my friend's face to draw his attention back to me.
"Hm? Oh sorry. I uh... I was just wondering if you know where the streamer cannons are? We can't find them." He asks, but his deep brown eyes keep flickering to the pair behind my back.
Then a giggle sounds from Daniel, and I turn around to see that Jay's whole demeanour has changed. He's smirking as he takes the lid off a pen with his teeth, then offers it to Daniel to write on his wrapped up wrist.
I raise my eyebrows.
Perfect.
This is exactly what I'd hoped for, surely seeing Jay flirting with someone else will bring Jungwon to his senses.
I turn back expecting to see disgust on Jungwon's face, or maybe even relief?
But I'm so wrong.
He's fuming, and I actually take a step back from him subconsciously.
I swivel my gaze round again, to where Daniel has the pen tip pressed on the bandage to start drawing on Jay.
But Jungwon's voice interrupts them.
"Ok break's over."
Daniel looks up at Jungwon in surprise, but Jay just continues smiling in amusement.
"Daniel go help Sunoo with the animals please." Jungwon bites out.
It's not a request, it's an order, and Daniel senses the stern tone and immediately hands the pen back to Jay before coming over to me.
If he had a tail, it would be between his legs right now as he shies away from the dagger eyes Jungwon is giving him.
Now Jay is looking at me, and his expression is one of evil triumph.
He knows what I was trying to do.
And that I failed miserably.
Maybe I should stop having ideas, they keep backfiring on me.
I leave, but later I'll tell Jungwon that this was my scheme, and I'll scold him for being mean to Daniel.
But we don't have time for that right now, I check on our animals to make sure they're all doing well and are prepared for the show, and as I do I hear the bustle of the excited crowds entering the park. They're milling between the stalls outside and making their way to their seats in the main tent.
The tiger nuzzles my hand where I stand with her waiting for our cue to enter, and I smile softly and give her all the attention she wants until it's our turn to go out there.
None of the other performers dare to come close to the wilder animals in our menagerie, but the creatures trust me completely, and I adore them.
As always, the show goes down flawlessly. The audience gasp and laugh and roar throughout the night, and it fills me with exhilaration.
Jungwon steps out for the grand finale, and as I ride in on the back of Hercules, I spot Jay watching Jungwon from the sidelines. I make sure to stop right in the way of his view.
I hope he knows that I will set this lion on him if he ever does anything to my friend.
The routine begins - I blindfold Jungwon and he unleashes bullets from his pistols into the heart of every target set.
I throw the apple up high and his shot pierces it right through the core, but when he catches it and the crowd goes insane, he hesitates.
Usually he would hold it up and bask in their applause, or he might take a bite, but this time he just makes a single bow, turns and heads off.
Before he disappears though, I see him throw the apple to Jay.
The lights go down, the audience leave, and we busy ourselves with closing up for the night.
There's going to be an after party at the hotel, and I'm excited for it. I could do with loosening up a little.
When we get there there's no delay in getting things going, there's an open bar, and the space quickly fills with people.
I let myself have fun, dancing with some of my friends and helping myself to a couple of fruity cocktails.
I can't find Jungwon, and I'm looking for him and questioning if he might have gone to bed already when I come face to face with the last person I want to see.
Jay doesn't bother greeting me.
"Have you seen Jungwon?" He asks.
"Nope." I say bluntly, turning to go and be anywhere else, but he speaks again.
"What room number is he staying in?"
I scoff. "What makes you think I would tell you?"
His mouth turns up almost imperceptibly in amusement.
"You really don't like me very much do you?"
I won't tell him he's wrong, so I decide to tell the truth.
"I don't like the way you look at my friend."
He tilts his head. "Are you in love with him?"
I fold my arms.
"No. But I think you are."
He doesn't react, his face stays perfectly devoid of expression.
But he doesn't deny it, and my blood runs cold as I try to fathom how that could possibly have happened.
"And if you are, there's no way that you just fell for him over the last few days..." I muse out loud, and the gangster stays silent.
Then suddenly I understand.
"Which means... you've been watching him for a while." I conclude.
He claps.
"How perceptive."
My mind whirls.
"It was no coincidence you chose this circus for cover was it? You're here for Jungwon."
He smiles. "Maybe."
I steel myself, trying to stand taller to look imposing.
"I'm not scared of you, but I know what you are, and I won't let you drag him into your life."
He laughs.
"I think it's a little late for that, don't you?"
Now I have nothing to say in response, so we just scowl at each other.
"See you tomorrow, bestie." He says sarcastically, mimicking the way I addressed him earlier.
Then he walks away.
I briefly consider how satisfying it would be to throw my cup at the back of his head, but I think better of it.
Maybe it is too late, Jungwon and I are both already in deep with Blessed-Cursed.
Jungwon told me about the deal he struck. We're helping them to get in and out of the city, and in exchange we'll get a cut of whatever we'd like from the treasury.
I understand why he made that bargain.
I know better than anyone the constant feeling of wanting more that comes from growing up with nothing.
It's not that we don't make good money from the circus, but it's only just enough. All it would take is a couple of bad seasons and we would be in trouble.
So yes, I'm not ashamed to say it would be nice to be rich, to be able to eat until I'm so full that the nightmares about my starving 11 year old self can never haunt me again.
It's risky, if we get caught robbing the treasury we'll definitely die.
But I believe Blessed-Cursed are smarter than that, so we'll put everything on the line.
My thoughts drift to Niki.
I couldn't believe he was one of them, I saw him get shot with my own eyes but when I went to see if he was ok it was like nothing had happened.
It turned out Sunghoon shot a rubber pellet at his leg, where a bloodbag was hidden beneath his clothes.
I didn't understand why the son of a duchess would ever go against the king, but then he explained everything.
He's doing this for his mother, and to try and stop a tyrant. I admire that, and so on top of my own selfish reasons, I'll also help Blessed-Cursed for him.
I'm not in the mood to party anymore, so I make my way up to my room.
After tomorrow, I can throw the biggest party our troupe have ever had.
I wash, and then starfish spread in the fluffy bed, drifting off to dream of a carefree life with my circus troupe, my animals, and my best friend.
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It took me a while to work out what I wanted to do with this chapter, but I think I like how it turned out and I hope you did too x
Also I can't believe this story hit #1 for HeeJakeHoon! Thank you so much for reading 🖤
Jake POV next, strap yourselves in because it's about to get wild 😅