"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
It was late when Harry, Liam and Louis all finished their ice cream. Harry was cuddled into Louis with his head against Louis' chin. He could feel Louis' breath against his hair, warm and comforting. Louis sat with his arms wrapped around the half-sitting half-lying Harry. Liam sat on another couch, sometimes glancing at the pair with awe. He had never seen Louis so happy.
"I should go," Harry stood up, stretching after taking a quick peek at the clock above the TV.
Louis stood up right after, protesting using gibberish. "But, Harry, we, do, to, play, fun ... ugh! Harry, you can't leave! It's late and it's dark!"
Liam shook his head, internally laughing at Louis' failed attempt at trying to find a legitimate reason why Harry should stay. He shoved a little bit of hair to the side when it flopped into his face. He wondered why Louis was trying so hard to get Harry to stay, they were going to see each other tomorrow anyway--probably.
He sighed after listening Louis whine and try a little while longer, "Just stay the night, Harry. Trust me, you won't be a bother."
He wasn't sure if Louis saw it but he did. He saw Harry's eyes flare with a sense of fear and he grew suspicious. But being the kind, soft-hearted boy he was, he let it slide; it was Harry's choice to keep some things a secret. And that was okay.
"I-I don't know," Harry mumbled, almost incoherently, looking to the ground while shuffling his feet.
"Harry, seriously," Louis said, moving closer to Harry, who had distanced himself through these past ten minutes. He wrapped his hand around Harry's back and brought him into his chest. Yes, Harry was taller but if one asked Liam what he thought, he would've said that they looked nothing less than perfect and he felt that he was intruding. It was a sight to behold.
"But, Louis, my mom-"
"Don't worry, just tell her that you're staying here." Louis handed him his phone and Harry hestitantly dialled his mom's number. He asked for permission, often stuttering due to Louis' intense stare. After a few moments of just talking to his mom, he said his last quick words, "I love you too" and handed the phone back to Louis. "She said yes."
The next part can be told in two different perspectives. One, Louis' and the other, Liam's. Now, if you asked Louis, he would say that he just smiled and gave Harry one of the tightest hugs he had ever given. But if you ask Liam, he would say that Louis squealed like a girl and literally pounced on Harry. Once again, different perspectives.
Either way, the outcome was the same, Louis and Harry were hugging as if they would never see each other again. "I'm so glad," Louis whispered in Harry's ear. Harry involuntarily shivered as Louis' hot breath hit his ear.
"Me too," he whispered back.
And the next couple of hours were spent in front of the TV with shameless cuddling and movies. They had gone through The Notebook, Grease and were halfway through Toy Story when Harry let out a yawn.
"Do you want to go to sleep, Haz?" he asked. Harry nodded his head against Louis' chest. Louis eased himself up and helped Harry up too. "Let's go to bed."
They bid goodnight to Liam, who grunted in response, too attached to his movie to care.
Harry had to borrow sleepwear from Louis, who was quite smaller than him, so his pants became capris and his shirt was slightly tighter, though, it didn't bother either of them. For possibily the millionth time that day, Harry found himself tucked away into Louis' chest, snuggling as hard as he could.
It was probably around three in the morning when Louis awoke to loud shouts of "Stop! Please stop!" The vision of Harry tossing and turning frightened Louis. In all his years as a therapist, he had seen so many panic attacks, people hyperventilating and every possible anxiety attack imaginable, but he had never seen anyone look so broken, scared and destroyed as Harry having a nightmare.
Being his first instinct, he wrapped his arms, which had moved to Harry's head to cushion it throughout the night, around him, making sure that Harry wouldn't hurt himself. And then, quietly, he muttered safe words, easing Harry out of his nightmare--or attempting to, at least. Instead, Harry woke up gasping and clutching at anything around him that he could get his hands on. Louis was the closest.
Holding on to Louis, he pulled himself up from the bed, still trying to catch his breath. Tears ran down his cheeks as he closed his eyes and mumbled a few words to himself. Louis quickly got up and ran out of his room to the kitchen to get Harry some water. Handing it to Harry, he helped Harry drink from the glass.
After Harry had finished half of his glass, Louis said, "Are you alright?"
Weakly, Harry pushed Louis on the shoulder, silently demanding to be released from the arm cage that Louis had once again created. "You didn't need to see that." He moved slightly further from Louis who didn't like it one bit.
"Harry, stop. You need me and I'll always be here for you. You can trust me," he spoke the truth as he leaned forward and kissed Harry on his forehead.
"It's not something you need to worry about, Louis," Harry muttered out.
Louis shook his head with such force that Harry was sure it was going to fall off, "Never. It's something I have to worry about because I care for you. I care for you like no other, Harry. And you're never going to get rid of me. Maybe our ... relationship thing won't work out, but we will always remain friends. And if it does, then, I am by your side forever. Either way, I'm here so don't ever feel like you can't tell me anything, because you can tell me the world and I will listen until you utter your last word."
By the end of Louis' unexpected monologue, Harry was crying harder than he was before. His hands had found their way around Louis' neck and his forehead was pressed against Louis'. Green into blue. The most cliché moment in all of history was the most important moment for Louis and Harry.
"Promise?" Harry asked, self-concious.
"Promise," Louis vowed. He kissed Harry on his forehead one last time before helping him fall asleep again. This time, Harry didn't have many nightmares.
Arriving home, Harry spent a little time with his sister and his mom, filling them in on some of the details involving last night, leaving out the ones with Louis and himself specifically. And then, quickly, he went into his room.
Though having showered that morning, he had put on the same clothes that he had worn to Louis' house and felt like he desperately needed a shower. All throughout his shower, he thought about what Louis had told him. Louis, he was Harry's own savior. The one man that Harry could always trust. But he couldn't always rely on Louis. It was time that Harry branched out a bit further, instead of staying all couped up with only a few people to turn to.
And Harry knew the perfect person to get to know again.
Rushing out of the shower eagerly, he rushed to put his clothes on. He ran down the stairs into the living room, grabbed the phone and ran back up to his room. He was surprised that he didn't trip down the stairs.
He quickly dialled Zayn's number, having memorized it previously. It rang about two times before he heard Zayn's voice on the other end, "Hello?"
"H-Hey Zayn," he stuttered, all the sudden confidence gone in an instant.
"Harry? What'cha up to, mate?"
"Nothing, I was just thinking that it's been too long and we should meet up or something," he said.
"Yeah, I totally agree!" Zayn replied enthusiastically.
"Cool, do you want to meet up at the ice cream shop on Mill St.?" Harry asked, hopeful. Nervous, he ran his hand through his hair. He'd done that a lot lately.
"Sure." And then they hung up, each eager to rekindle their friendship.
Harry found himself in Kayla's Cream, the local ice cream store, thirty minutes later. He sat in a booth wringing his hands nervously and occasionally biting his lip. Often, he would pull out his phone to text Louis. When he told Louis that he was going to talk to Zayn again, Louis was beyond proud. And all Harry had been lately recieving from Louis were texts telling him that he was so proud.
Zayn arrived a few minutes later, though it felt like hours to Harry.
"Hey," Zayn chirped, seating himself down.
"Hey," Harry replied, chuckling slightly.
"Okay, so what do you want to order? I'll pay, my treat for you." Zayn flipped through the pages of the menu, slowing down his movements when different treats caught his eyes.
"No, no. I'll pay, no worries. And I think I'll have a banana split. I'm not that original," Harry said, putting his hand on his untouched menu.
"Harry, I'll pay," Zayn insisted.
"No." If Harry was one thing, he was stubborn.
"Fine." Zayn ordered a simple strawberry sundae. Once the waitress arrived and left, Zayn sat patiently, waiting for his best friend to talk.
"Well, I miss you," Harry spit out. "And I feel like I owe you so much. Firstly, the reason that I called you here, I really trust you. And I know you know that. The thing is that before I tell anyone else, I need to tell family and you are family, you know that. So, here it is: I've got a boy-thing. We haven't figured it out yet."
Zayn snickered, "You thought I didn't know? Harry, I've known you for years, I know your body language. I know when you're hiding something or scared or happy or even just bored. I know you and I figured out that you had a boyfriend by the way you were staring all lovey-dovey at your phone."
"Oh." Harry felt stupid. All the times when they were little, Zayn had always known what was going on with Harry, so why did he feel like Zayn wouldn't have known or that he wouldn't accept it?
"Yeah, now, let's get down to business, is he hot?" Zayn leaned over the table, looking Harry dead in the eyes.
"Yes! I'm being honest, yes, he is," Harry chuckled, throwing a napkin in Zayn's face when Zayn started to make kissy faces.
"Oooh, Harry's got a keeper," Zayn cooed, leaning back when the waitress arrived with the ice cream.
And before they knew it, they had gone through second helpings, and laughed their way into Harry's room where they kept talking about all the things they'd missed about each other. Occasionally, a pillow fight would start where Zayn would win since Harry had no heart to hurt his best friend. They said goodbye when it got too late and Harry's mom had reminded them that Harry had school the next day. Harry was used to late nights but Zayn had left politely, telling Harry to sleep.
*
Harry closed his locker, feeling a little less weight on his shoulder than usual. He guessed that the weekend with Zayn, Louis and Liam had paid off and now he wanted to get to know Niall. And he would, soon. He walked through the hallways, expertly skimming past people to the courtyard where he had planned to study for a history test.
A heavy push on the side of his waist lead him to fall onto the ground, clutching the injured side. He had forgotten for a while how it felt to go through school. "Wow, can't get up faggot?" He clenched his teeth as he pulled himself onto his feet, letting his bags stay on the ground. "Is something wrong, pretty fairy? Where's your pretty boy to save you now?"
He was pushed again, but this time he didn't fall. He pushed back.
"Who do you think you are? I'm not a fairy for liking boys. It's natural. And if I wasn't so nice, I would probably tell the world what kind of pictures your phone contains. I'm pretty sure they aren't boobs. Oops, I guess I'm not that nice. So leave me the fuck alone!" Harry yelled.
"Wow, look who grew some balls over the weekend! Guess that fairy boyfriend of yours did you some good after all." Someone from the crowd shouted.
"Leave Louis out of this," Harry said menancingly. They could say shit about him all they wanted; he didn't give a fuck anymore. But if they dragged Louis into this, he would make sure to personally cut their balls off.
He wasn't sure what it was that made him so confident, all of a sudden. But whatever it was, he liked it.
A/N: Sorry for the long wait, hope this made up for it. Alsooo, I updated Euphoria, so go check that out. And while you're at it, read the freeverse larry poem I made!
- Amy & Lyn.