Other than an odd morning with my sister and Greyson, I am having a good and jolly day. Thanksgiving is going better than I thought it would as we all join the table including Peppa. It's her first thanksgiving not at home but because of work she couldn't leave for New York.
New York. It's been almost a year but I can't say I don't miss it. I don't miss home but I do miss the city . There was this truck ran by an old guy named Earl, he sold the best subs ever and I can't even find that in Miami. With my standard of living now, I doubt these people even know what subs are.
After dinner we all start cleaning up and bonding, up, I approach Peppa disturbing hers and Kane's conversation.
"Hey, can I borrow her?" I ask as soon as I lean on the kitchen sink. He nods wordlessly leaves us alone. I have been dying to talk to her all night.
"What's up?"
"I saw your boss when I was running an errand and he is stuck with two little girls." I expected her to find it as funny as I am finding it but she just shrugs in response.
"Oh? He did mention his nieces were visiting which is why I'm so needed at work. He should just make me the his PA since his actual PA never does anything." She says drying her hands with a towel. I can see the annoyance in her voice, and honestly, I understand it's annoying.
"Well that doesn't seem fair. He shouldn't exactly be putting that burden on you." I agree.
"Well, unlike you Fiona, some of us don't easily charm the hot guy enough to make demands especially since my pay comes from him." She says with a bit of attitude. I didn't expect that to feel like a jab but it does and I don't know why so I just changed the topic. I don't like backhanded comments which is why I think it's best to move on.
"On other news, Lola seems to have a boyfriend."
"Oh my God Fiona anything but that." She quickly says lifting her hand up at me.
"Excuse me?"
"I don't want to hear about your brat of a sister." She says about to leave the kitchen but I stop her and pulled her back so she faces me. I don't think she even heard herself right.
"You don't have the right to call my sister that." I say in defense but she dismisses me by rolling her eyes.
"Fiona, if you want to be gullible enough to let her in your life then don't include me." She says before she turns around again and leaves.
"What is wrong with you? You're being.." -I pause trying to find the right words to describe her very uncalled behavior recently- "Mean."
"Mean? I'm not being mean when I'm looking out for you! For my friend!" This time she shouts, warning the attention of the people around us but I don't care since I am more concerned with her behavior.
"Who said I need you to looking out for me! I am a grown woman Peppa." Jasmine shows up and comes to my side and whispers lowly so the three of us could hear and not the new audience that is already around us.
"And the only thing grown you've ever done was learning to take care of your own child." Snaps Peppa.
"I don't need your judgement in my life, I don't need all of this." I am done with this argument, it's better if we drop it before it escalates which is why I attempt to leave
"Can you guys like tomorrow and in private. It's thanksgiving remember?" She says getting in between us but neither of us bat an eye at her as we glare at each other. Peppa ignores her as she argues with a louder voice.
"Clearly you do because you just forgive people with no consequences when they are obviously playing you! Maybe you're not exactly gullible you're just purely-" She stops before could finish her sentence.
"Stupid? I believe stupid is the word you're looking for." I replies. "Maybe I am stupid but I don't get how I can't forgive my sister who's literally in her death bed but I can forgive you for kissing my boyfriend."
Silence.
There is a sudden painfully loud silence in the room and from my side I know that was unnecessary or maybe it was, I don't know but it was wrong for me to bring it up after I said I was okay with it. At the same time, she can't just say all of those things because it's hypocritical.
"Well, I'm not the one seducing my boss!" She snaps in filling in the silence, this makes everyone look at me.
"Sed- you know very well Greyson came up to me! What the hell are you on about?" Why the hell would she brings this up? She knows it's not true and yet she's planting this seed in everyone in this room. People I consider to be my in laws.
"Oh please, if that's the case then does Kevin know that?" My eyes turn to meet Kevin's and I could see the hurt in his eyes. I couldn't tell him about Greyson for various reasons but right now all of that feels irrelevant and useless. "Fiona is always so innocent. Fiona never does anything wrong when the last time I checked, you got with him because he was a rich guy. We kissed and you said you were okay with it how come it's not anymore?!"
"Yeah I'll just set this one out." Jasmine mumbles before she leaves us be again.
"You know me more than anyone in this room but the things you just said are worse than anything anyone could have. I hope getting all of that out makes you feel better, Peppa." I say fixing my hair as I ready myself to leave. "And you're right, I should stop being so forgiving."
And with that I head upstairs, to my situated room as I went to fetch my son so we can go back home. My mind couldn't register what exactly had just happened. From what went from a good night to a nightmare, why would Peppa say all those things? Did she really mean all of them? Why couldn't it be someone else because there is no one I love more than I love Peppa. She's my best friend. Or was? I don't even know anymore.
Instead of taking Storm and leaving, I found him asleep earning me a chance to breakdown so I did. Just like I used to as a child, I was silently screaming as I wanted to rid myself of this skin. I cry until my cries are merely sniffles. Why is this happening? Everything in my life was perfect and whenever everything in my life is looking up, I always suffer a major setback.
"I'm sorry." I hear a voice say behind me but I don't pay attention to him as my eyes stay on a sleeping Storm.
I have cried enough and I have cried many times but I never thought I wouldn't even have someone to cry to. Peppa was right, she is right. I am not woman enough to even call myself the mother my son deserves. I don't deserve this life, my son doesn't deserve me he deserves so much better than me and if it were up to me I could give him that.
"If there was a way I could give him more than.. me. I would." I say, feeling the tears coming back again.
"There's nothing more that your son needs than you, Fiona. There is nothing else that could ever be better than you." He says, I could feel him getting closer from his voice.
I feel arms wrap around me and only now do I realize he had never been so close to me but here he is, embracing me. We stay in that position for a while until someone clears their throat making us separate to see who it is.
Through teary eyes I see Kevin standing near the door with his arms crossed, his eyes are on me and they are holding an emotion I couldn't quite understand but I know very well the look of disappointment when I see one and he is very disappointed in me.
"Tell me when you need me, okay?" Kane says before he leaves us alone.
The silence in the room is pretty loud and more depressing than it already is. I hate silence, I hate the silent treatment but I know pissed Kevin loves it and he knows how much it tortures me.
"I know you have a lecture in store for me but I don't need that at all right now because I know." I say. "I embarrassed you in front of your family, I'm sorry."
"I got a call this morning on the house phone." He starts to say, not bothering to comment on my words. "Seems you gave quite the presentation to John Hilton." My eyes immediately light up at the mention of my hopefully, possible boss's name.
"What did he say?"
"That you better have your desk ready by this Monday." He says. My grin was already wide I suddenly felt the need to hug someone, my demise already forgotten after the new news. Amazing news that is.
I got a job. I have a freaking job and I am going to work! I have a job, oh no I have a job at John Hilton's company. Kevin does not look as happy as my boyfriend should be that I finally have a job after working very hard to get it.
"And you're not happy." My voice lowers when I say this, feeling the hurt from the fact that he doesn't even the least feel excited.
"Do you realize that John Hilton has a relationship with Greyson?" Oh great, thank you Peppa. Thank you so much!
"Oh my god, here we go." I mumble to myself when he says this. I already expected a lecture but not to be chastised for getting a job I worked so hard for.
"I've met John, Fiona and I know the man trusts people closest to him way too much not to take a recommendation from Greyson." He says. So what he really thinks I'm so dense I can't find a job without someone helping me?
"So you came here just to tell me that I can't get a job by myself, I need some guy to do me a favor? You don't believe I could do it on my own?" The anger in him is very visible and it hurts that he's thinking so lowly of me, just like everyone there. Just like every guy out there is.
"Fiona let's be more realistic here, you're still fresh out of college how can your first interview go so well if it didn't have some sort of influence? This is not about belief, okay? This is about you using your head right now." I don't know if he heard himself or I am the one who is overreacting but I believe I heard him say the same thing Peppa did.
"You know maybe you're right, I get it. I'm an idiot-"
"That's not what I said Fiona-"
"Yes it is. Yes it is, Kevin."
I start packing up Storm's stuff back into his baby bag as I ready for us to go home. I have always been seen as an idiot and I have always fought that my entire life despite the fact that I had to go home and I had to endure being called an imbecile for 17 years that it became an insecurity whenever someone questions my intelligence, it became a trigger and tonight, even with my shitty life I've never had a more horrible thanksgiving.
"You know most of the reason I wanted a job was so you're proud of me beyond just being the mother of your child. I've always-" I felt my voice breaking in between my sentences. "It doesn't matter. I'm gonna go home, I'll see you there."
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Hey little bookworms, hope you're liking the book so far!