Kezia was actively avoiding Beatrice. She didn't want Bea to see the gash on her cheek. It would confirm Bea's fears, that it's unsafe, that it's wrong. Kez didn't need those beliefs solidified in Bea's mind. She was still holding out hope that Bea would let her guard down, that she'd come running and admit her feelings.
Of course Bea would know about what happened, Ada will have told her by now. But currently she's just got the thought of what happened, seeing Kez would make it real.
Tommy was outraged when he found out what had occurred between Campbell and Kez. He made promises Kez reckoned he'd be unable to keep.
Her family demanded answers as to what transpired that ended up with her getting hit. She told them the truth. The reason she'd been reluctant prior to this moment was because she was with someone, she had to protect their identity. She wasn't with anyone now, and she wouldn't be until she could get over Bea, which wouldn't be for a while. Surprisingly, the family weren't shocked, they weren't mad. It must've been a thought in the back of their subconscious, but they didn't want to broach the topic. They had their questions, Kezia answered them to the best of her ability in order to provide the privacy she'd promised her lovers.
Ada hold told Kez that she and Bea were having a girls night downstairs and that Kez could join them if she wanted to, but she shook her head declining the offer, "I'm uh, I'm going to the pub."
Ada insists, "come on, you never hang out with us anymore, Kez. It'll be like the old times, before everything changed again. You've been distant for the past week or so, do you regret telling me what you told me?"
"I haven't been distant," Kezia rebuttals, "I've been busy, there's a difference."
"Your younger sister and her friend aren't enough anymore now that other people are around? You used to come home from work, and you'd sit with us all night. I guess we don't matter now that Tess is back, now that the boys are back," Ada argues.
"That's not it, you know that's not what this is about," Kezia replies, "there's more clients at the shop, I'm working longer days, I'm fucking tired, Ada."
"Not tired enough if you still hang out with anybody but Bea and I," Ada remarks.
Their argument is disrupted by a knock on their front door, Ada scoffs, "it's probably someone else you'd rather be around."
"Ada, you're being ridiculous, of course I want to be around you, you're my sister for crying out loud," Kezia responds, walking towards the door.
There was an unfamiliar blonde stood at their door, Kez looks down at her, "can I help you?"
"Oh, uh, hello Kezia," the woman stutters with an Irish accent. Kez remembered that accent. This was the woman that lived on Henshaw.
"Why are you here?" Kez asks.
"You left something, I didn't know where you lived," Grace says, "I've started working at the pub, you know, the Garrison. I heard some people talking about you, I think your brothers, and well I overheard this address, so I thought I'd return this."
Grace holds out a tie, and Kez stared down at it, "you came to my house to give me a tie?"
"Well, I wasn't sure if it'd have any sentimental value to you, didn't know whether you'd be looking for it," Grace shrugs, as Kezia takes it from her outstretched palm, "no, no value."
"I haven't seen you at the pub since I started," Grace comments.
"Because I haven't been there," Kezia replies.
Grace glances Kez up and down, "long day at the shop?"
"You know where I work and yet you came to my house?" Kez questions.
"No, I don't know where, you just mentioned a shop, and tools," Grace says, "I don't even know what it is you do at the shop."
"I'm a blacksmith," Kezia states, "what exactly did I tell you that night, Grace?"
"You remember my name?" Grace asks surprised.
"No, I don't remember anything apart from your accent, and where you live," Kezia says, "Bea mentioned that a Grace was meant to start at the pub, I made the assumption that was you."
"Kez, I'm not finished arguing with you, hurry up!" Ada calls from the kitchen.
"I'll let you get back to whatever is happening in there," Grace says bowing her head slightly.
"No- what did I tell you that night? When I was drunk?" Kezia inquires.
"You didn't do a lot of talking, but when you did it was mainly, alcohol and tools," Grace replies, "and me, you've a dirty mouth on you, Kezia."
"Right," Kez nods, "thanks for the tie, I'll-uh, I'll see you whenever I'm at the pub, I guess?"
Before Grace could respond Kezia closes the door in her face, chucking the tie on the cabinet by the front door, she'd take it up with her the next time she went to her room.
"Continue," Kez says to her sister, leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed.
"You said you want to be around me," Ada states, "does that mean it's Bea you have the issue with?"
"I do not have an issue with Bea," Kez responds.
"Then spend some time with us," Ada states, "prove that you don't have an issue with us, that we're not being blown off now you have other options."
"Fine, when is she getting here?" Kezia shrugs. Ada would not let this go. This stupid argument could go on for days until Kez either gave in, or gave her a good enough reason, which she didn't exactly have. Oh Ada, I don't hate you, and I don't have an issue with Bea. In fact I'm in love with her, but she doesn't want to love me back because she's scared, and the cut on my face won't do me any favours on that front.
"After she finishes work," Ada responds with a smile.
"Is she on a close?" Kezia replies.
"No, the new girl, Grace, is closing, Bea should be here in half an hour or so," Ada says, "who was at the door?"
"They got the wrong house," Kezia states.
"You were talking for quite a while," Ada responds.
"It's an old lady, she was looking for her daughter's house, got confused, had to explain where the house was," Kezia replies.
"Oh yeah," Ada hums, obviously not believing Kez, "what house number?"
"Umm, seventy seven?" Kez responds.
"That's Bea's house," Ada states.
"I'm no good with house numbers, Ada," Kez replies.
"It was a hookup, wasn't it?" Ada gasps, and judging by the charmed look on Kez's face she knew she was correct, "oh my god, when?"
"Weeks ago," Kez answers.
"Why was she here?" Ada asks.
"She had to return something," Kezia responds, "now take that look off your face."
"She could be my sister in law," Ada smiles.
"She most definitely will not be your sister in law," Kezia states.
"You're no fun," Ada frowns, "so you're not going to see her again?"
"What I did with her was a mistake, I shouldn't have done it," Kezia says.
"You can't just call things a mistake if you regret it, Kez, you must've had some interest in her at some point during your encounter," Ada states.
"I was drunk and lonely," Kezia responds, "feelings don't always have to be involved, Chakano."
"I suppose," Ada sighs.
Kezia pours herself a glass of whiskey, offering Ada some but she declines.
"Good evening, Shelby's," Bea announces walking into the house.
"There's only two of us here," Ada replies, as Bea steps into the kitchen, her hand going to the pendant resting on her chest as she stares at Kez, who finished her glass of whiskey and was in the midst of pouring herself another.
"Haven't seen you in a while," Bea comments.
"I've been busy," Kezia responds, as Ada hugs her arm, squeezing it tight whilst smiling, "but she's ours for this evening, ain't that right, Kez?"
"Well, lucky us," Beatrice says, releasing the pendant when she notices Kez glance down at her chest where it lay, but Kez's eyes followed her hand, she'd never been looking at the pendant, she'd been looking at Bea's wrist where a bruise had formed.
-
"Alrighty, I need my bed," Ada yawns. It was past one, the boys had all stumbled in, said hello, and then stumbled to bed.
"Night," Kezia laughs, as Ada wraps her arms around her older sister from behind, swaying them side to side.
"Where's my goodnight, eh? Clear preferences are being shown here, Ada," Beatrice says, and Ada leans across the table, kissing Bea's cheek, "night, sleep well, BeaBea."
"BeaBea? That's new," she smiles, as Ada waves disappearing upstairs.
"I should head off aswell," Bea states, raising from her chair, Kez swills the drink in its glass, hesitating in taking another sip instead placing it down on the table, "no."
"No?" Bea repeats, a smug look on her face as Kez raises to her feet, walking towards her, "you heard me," Kez states, backing Bea against the wall.
"Why, 'no'?" Bea queries, looking up at Kezia, who had softly taken hold of her hand, pulling down the sleeve, glancing at the bruise and then back to Bea, "you're not leaving until I get a name."
"Nothing happened," Bea states.
Kez stares down at her, "I don't believe you."
"Nothing happened," Bea reinstates.
"Do not lie to me, Beatrice," Kezia says, "someone put their hands on you, and I want to know who. You've just come from work, you know everyone that goes in and out of that pub, so give me a fucking name."
Beatrice was breathing heavily, and by the smirk that had worked its way onto Kez's face, she knew why. This is the exact place where they'd first kissed. Bea's back against the wall, and their bodies pressed together.
"Come on, Bea, love," Kez whispers, her lips next to Bea's ear, the hand she'd been caressing was now pinned to the wall above Beatrice's head, her other hand was resting on Bea's hip, "just give me a name, tell me what happened, I'm being patient."
"Now who's being cruel," Bea murmurs beneath her breath, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, Kez's lips were almost touching her neck.
"This isn't fair and you know it," Bea protests.
"Who are you protecting, darling? Why are you protecting them?" Kez inquires.
"It was one of the Cawley brothers, I don't know which one, he said I was pretty for a black," Bea blurts out. Kezia knew exactly what she was doing, this was fucking torture, her being so close but giving Bea nothing.
Kezia softly presses a kiss to the underside of Beatrice's jaw, "that's my good girl," she whispers, stepping back, releasing Bea.
"Fuck you, seriously, fuck you," Bea says, "don't you walk away from me now, Kez."
To both of their surprise, Bea grabs Kez's tie, pulling her down and slamming their lips together as she turns them so Kez was now the one backed against the wall. Their lips moved against each others in a way that only past lovers could. They were in sync. They knew what the other liked. Gradually, Kez's hands moved from Bea's waist, trailing up her back until they were nestled in her hair. Bea's hands dropped Kez's tie, her hands clenching around the material of Kezia's shirt so she could untuck it from her trousers, before sliding her hands under her shirt, tracing the muscled outline of Kez's torso.
Kezia was scolding herself. She'd told herself she wouldn't give in. She'd promised she wouldn't give in until Beatrice had confessed, but there was not a fucking chance in the world that she was about to stop this. Her lips left Bea's, she used the grip she had on Bea's hair to tilt her head back so she could brush her lips against her neck. It was becoming more passionate, Bea was hers. They both knew it, especially with the way Bea was responding to Kez trailing an array of kisses down her throat.
"We can go back to mine," Bea pleads, "come back to mine."
"To do what?" Kez teases.
"Well it involves you on your knees and me naked," Bea whispers, "you going to turn that down?"
"Never," Kezia responds.
"Great, let's go," Bea says, taking hold of Kez's tie again, leading her through the house, "my keys are on the...cabinet."
Bea hesitates, and instead of picking her keys up, she lifts the tie that was placed there.
"You were wearing this that day," Bea states, noticing lipstick stains on the tie, "you've seen the woman since, how did this get here, Kez? Did she come here? Did you go to her house?"
How could this suddenly go so wrong again? Kez thinks, as Beatrice steps away from her, looking up expectantly.
"She knew who I was, overheard where I lived," Kezia explains, "nothing happened, she gave me the tie, told me what we spoke about that night, then she left."
"Why did you want to know what you spoke about?" Bea asks.
"I was drunk, Bea," Kez states, "I needed to know that I hadn't mentioned you."
"You needed to know you hadn't outed me," Bea whispers and Kez nods, "I didn't mention you. Apparently I spoke about my tools quite a lot though."
"You're always talking about your tools," Bea laughs.
"Not always," Kez responds, raising her hand to rest on Bea's cheek, "I promise you, I didn't go searching for her, and nothing else happened."
"But you know who she is now," Bea states, "you didn't know before, and now you do, you can answer my questions properly."
"Bea," Kezia whispers softly, "it's unfair to other people that you exist. Nobody even comes close to being able to compare. You have the arms I want to be embraced in; the eyes I want to get lost in; the smile I can never resist; the voice I want to listen to for hours. I tried to stop myself from falling in love with you, but I just couldn't stop myself. My heart is so full of you I can hardly call it my own. I didn't want to fall in love, but at some point, I don't know when, you looked at me and I knew I was a goner."
"Holy shit," Bea gasps, eyes wide and filled with tears as she stares up at Kezia, "I've been awful to you. I shouldn't have- fuck Kez, I'm sorry."
"What?" Kez asks.
"You were right," Bea nods, "you shouldn't do this to yourself, and I- today, I wasn't even thinking. I shouldn't have put you in this position."
"Bea, it's okay," Kez states, "it's okay if you can't say it. I know you do. That's enough for me. I can live with knowing and not hearing."
"You shouldn't have to settle for that, Kez," Bea says, "you should be in love with someone who can at the very least be comfortable enough within themselves to say it back."
"It doesn't matter to me," Kezia replies, "not anymore."
"Well it matters to me," Beatrice states, "I can't do this to you, Kez."
"Because you love me," Kezia says, "whatever you're about to do thinking you'll make it better, please don't."
"I can't look you in the eyes knowing what I'm doing to you," Bea responds.
"You're not doing anything to me," Kezia replies.
"I know it's important for you to hear it, no matter how much you're trying to convince yourself otherwise, you deserve to hear what you'd like to hear, Kez," Beatrice says, "you'll just grow to resent me if this continues and I don't...I don't know if I'll ever be that comfortable with myself. The coppers found out about you and look what they did. That doesn't put me any more at ease."
"Do you hate yourself for loving me? Do you hate me for making you feel this way?" Kezia questions.
"It's not just about you," Bea says, "it's the way I was raised, Kez, I wish I didn't think this way about myself but with the way my parents instilled it in me, I can't stop myself.... I could never hate you though. Not for this."
"But it is about me. I'm the one who changed it all. It's been men all your life, you'd never been with a woman before me," Kez states, "whether I see you or I don't, won't change how I feel, and I'd much rather feel how I feel with you, rather than by myself. You don't have to admit anything. I won't ask it of you, just don't walk away, that's all I'm asking, you never have to say how you feel if it means you stay."
"I shouldn't have made you feel bad about sleeping with someone else," Bea says, "I don't deserve your loyalty."
"Bea, don't do this," Kez pleads, watching a tear slip from Bea's eye, "I have to. It's unfair to you. It's got to be over, Kez. You don't have to wait for me to be ready, because I might never be ready. I'm so sorry, Kez. It's the second time I've done this to you. It's cruel, and the guilt I feel would be enough to sink me further than the bottom of the Atlantic. It has to be over, we both know that. You knew that before and I should have listened."
"This won't solve anything," Kez argues, "this doesn't have to happen."
"I'm sorry, Kez," Bea replies, "good night. I'll see you around."
"I don't love you, I'm not in love with you," Kezia says, "there. The situation is fixed."
"You're cute, but that's not how this works," Bea smiles sadly, picking her keys up, and walking out of the door.
Kezia felt like she couldn't breathe. She'd lost Bea again. Kez wasn't used to crying, she didn't like it. But she couldn't stop the tears that escaped, that streamed down her cheeks as she stares at the door, clutching her chest. Her heart physically hurt. She couldn't breathe. She felt dizzy, she stumbled backwards until she was sat on the stairs, eyes still locked on the door.