Anyone who loved Ferrari were still on the high from another historic win by the Hypercar team in Le Mans. Alessandra was one of them, and what was as special as witnessing the win happen in person, was being part of the celebrations in Maranello. She watched the hypercars being driven from her office, chuckling when Mick gave her a wave as he passed by, knowing that she would be watching, and then went to join the rest of the festivities at the Fiorano track, filled with champagne, finger food and endless speeches. One of those speeches were hers, but she just stated how proud she was of the team and how excited she was to see them do their best during the rest of the season and hopefully bring back the Endurance crown back to Maranello too.
She considered the Le Mans win a belated birthday present for her, not having celebrated her birthday because she was so busy working with the team to improve the car, plus be with her father whenever she could, that she had forgotten her birthday. Her friends tried to convince her to do something for her 28th, but she brushed them off, saying that birthdays don't really matter, and that she was too busy to celebrate. They were concerned with that statement, but they knew they shouldn't push her, so they let her be.
She had two priorities at that moment, and they were the team and her father, especially because the latter was entering a difficult stage in his treatment, and it was at that time more than ever that she wished that she could talk to someone about what she's witnessing her father go through. But she knew she couldn't, so she had to put on a brave face whenever she took her dad to appointments, fight back tears when she heard his screams whenever they entered big needles into him, and she would burst into tears when she was alone at home, finding it harder than ever to watch her father go through all that suffering, especially having to do it all alone.
The race weekend in Catalunya went well for the Scuderia, finishing the race with a double podium and a good handful of points for the constructors. She was pleased that they were slowly getting back into rhythm to lead both championships once more, and hope to keep the same momentum at least until the summer break. For the Mercedes side of the paddock, it wasn't the greatest of days for the team, having finished in the middle of the points grab when they had thought that they would have a decent race compared to the last three. For Toto however, he had a small personal win that weekend, and that was that Alessandra was no longer avoiding him or giving him the coldest glares, but instead were civil to each other, keeping the promise she made back in Le Mans after what seems to be angry sex. That's what they called it whenever they thought about it, but they didn't know that they shared the same thoughts for it.
It was time for the Austrian grand prix weekend, a track many loved, a country so beautiful, and it never failed to provide amazing racing. For Toto, it was a special weekend as it was his home grand prix, and he always enjoyed the atmosphere created by the fans that celebrated their love for the sport on his home soil. All he hopes is that the team manages to deliver a solid race as they inched closer to the end of the first half of the season.
It wasn't just Toto that was excited for the Austrian grand prix, but so was Alessandra. It was one of her favourite tracks on the calendar, always reminding her of the good times the team had, and she was looking forward to see what Italian team can do especially with the introduction of a new set of major upgrades. However, as much as Alessandra loved the track, her mind was in a constant whirlwind as she worried about her father, who was still getting more tests done whilst she was in another country. She hated nothing more than not being able to be with him, be a source of support and comfort as he went through the brutality.
It was tough for Alessandra, having to be the one to watch her father go through all the pain and suffering so he could finally be rid of the condition, the same condition that took his brother's life many years ago. She had no choice but to be there with her father, especially with both of her brothers living on each side of the world. It was times like these where she truly wished that her brothers could come back to Italy, so she could at least share the anxiety, the sadness and the pain that comes with taking her father to all his appointments whenever she was back home. She knew that her brothers had their own jobs and families to take care of, but she did feel that it was unfair for her to have to go through all of it alone, and not have anyone to talk to about what's happening in her personal life.
And for some reason, not even the excitement and happiness of being back at one of her favourite tracks could make her forget her problems at home. She tried bottling everything she was feeling from this horrid journey she's going through, but she's come to a point that she didn't know if she could hold it in much longer. She was human, after all, and she had her limits, and she was scared that at any given moment, it would all come out. That was a scary thought for Alessandra, because the last thing she wanted to do was show her vulnerability to the world, she had a strong image to maintain, she couldn't show weakness, especially at this stage in the championship, and her career.
She put the personal problems and endless worries about her father at the back of her mind the moment she scanned her pass at the paddock entrance, flashing her signature smile as she gave a wave to the photographers and stopped for some pictures with fans. She was looking forward to have breakfast and spend some time with the guys before they had to adhere to their media commitments. In all honesty, the last thing she wanted to do was go through media day and answer questions whilst having a smile on her face, but she knew that she had to get them over and done with, and show the world that her team is not backing down from the championship fight.
"Buongiorno!" Alessandra greeted the table filled with her drivers and red bull drivers as she took a seat, "you guys look like you're trying to soak up some sun!"
"It's a gorgeous day out," Max said, "if we did a run around the track shirtless we'd have the best tans before summer even starts!"
"Speak for yourself mate," Carlos scoffed as a goofy smile made its way on his lips, "I have a fabulous tan all year round!"
"We get it, you're blessed with a natural tan," Charles shot back, rolling his eyes, "but some of us have to work for ours!"
"Okay, okay, enough about tanning or you're gonna make me want Summer to come even faster," Alessandra chuckled, shaking her head, "are you guys attending the Wimbledon final in a couple of weeks?"
"I think I am," Daniel answered, "why, are you going to be there this year?!"
"Yeah, the boys and I got invited," Alessandra replied, "these guys have never been to a Wimbledon final, and I am so excited to share my expertise with them!"
"She hopes to bump into Federer," Lewis jumped in, giving his boss a wide smile as she playfully rolled her eyes at him, "don't tell me it's not true, Ale!"
"I am going to watch tennis," she shrugged her shoulders as she sipped on her iced coffee, "if I see Federer, that will be a huge bonus!"
"Just like how it was a huge bonus seeing Patrick Dempsey at Le Mans?" Arthur asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.
"Yes," The Ferrari boss replied nonchalantly, "the main part of that weekend was the race, and meeting Patrick Demspey was a bonus. But anyway, enough of that, if you guys have the opportunity to go see a match at Wimbledon, go. It's the best tennis tournament of the year!"
"What's the possibility of Matteo or Jannik reaching the final?" Charles asked, glancing at her.
"You never no with tennis," she answered, "but hopefully it's a big one. I'll keep an eye out for their matches and will let you know how they're doing."
The group chatted some more over coffee and food, telling each other what they expected from this weekend - obviously without going into too much detail - whilst they asked Alessandra about the Wimbledon tournament. She showed the guys some videos of her favourite matches and explained to them why she, and the majority of the tennis world, loved Wimbledon and thought that it was one of the best tournaments of the whole year.
Chiara made her way towards Alessandra, letting her know that she needed to head to her office to join the call she had with a couple of departments before her media duties, so the team principal bid her friends goodbye as she grabbed her bag and coffee, telling them that she'll see them around the paddock before following heading inside the motor homes. The meetings weren't long, but they were long enough to occupy the free time she had before the press conference, discussing the latest data analysis the team back at home released regarding the new updates, and how these are to facilitate the weaknesses for Austria and Silverstone.
When she was done with her meetings, Alessandra left the motor home and started walking down the paddock with Chiara, the two ladies talking about the events Alessandra was invited to in the next couple of weeks outside of the track, and the team principal was giving her PR manager suggestions on where Chiara and her family could go during summer break.
"Good morning Ms Ferrari," Alessandra stopped on her tracks as the sound of the voice belonging to one Austrian rang in her ears, turning her head around in his direction as she fought the grin that wanted to make its way on her lips at the sight of him outside the Mercedes motor home.
"Morning Mr Wolff," she replied, her body tingling as he walked towards her, her senses reminding her of that night in Le Mans and letting her know how much her body still craves him, "or should I say, Mr home grand prix?"
"Funny," he chuckled, getting to her side as they continued walking down the paddock whilst their PR managers stood a few feet behind them engaged into their own conversation, "Have you been in Austria long?"
"Not since late afternoon yesterday," she answered as she glanced up at him, "what about you?"
"Been here for a couple of days, you know, got time to see my mother and spend time with Ben and Rosa," he said, giving her a gentle smile at the mention of his kids, "and I think the kids are actually attending the race!"
"Oh that's wonderful!" Alessandra beamed, "let me know when they come, yeah? I'd love to say hi, I don't think I've seen them since the tennis match last year."
"Has it actually been that long?" Toto asked, eyes widened slightly in surprise, "I won't lie, that day feels like yesterday. But then again, certain days feel like yesterday."
Alessandra's eyes widened at his last statement, especially when she saw the mischievous look he had on his face, the smirk forming on his lips, confirming what she thought he was referring to, that godforsaken night in Le Mans. She was secretly glad that it was a mutual thing that they were both still thinking about what they did whilst the race was going on, but she still shook her head at him, playfully slapping on his arm which earned her a chuckle from the 6 foot 5 Austrian.
"You're impossible," she mumbled, rolling her eyes at him, "and a big mouth too!"
"I didn't say anything!" He exclaimed, raising his arms up in defence.
"Good," she replied, sending him a wink, which took him by surprise and didn't manage to comment about it as they entered the FIA building. He took quiet breathes as he made his way to the sofa, trying to calm his rapid heart rate which was caused by a harmless gesture by the woman who just sat down next to him and was talking with Andrea Stella.
Nico Rosberg entered the room, taking his seat on the single sofa, and his presence took Alessandra and Toto by surprise as they looked at him with wide eyes. The German world champion chuckled at their reaction as Alessandra got off the sofa and walked towards him, giving him a quick hug.
"I only thought you did pundits and post race interviews," Alessandra commented as she sat back in her seat on the sofa next to Toto, "this is a lovely surprise!"
"I thought I'd take the opportunity to interview my favourite team principal," Nico grinned, "and Toto, of course!"
"After all that we've been through, together!" Toto exclaimed in fake shock and sadness, putting his hand on the centre of his chest, "I'm truly hurt, Rosberg!"
"Is netflix filming this?" Alessandra asked, leaning forward as she looked around, "is that why Toto turned up the dramatics?"
"Hilarious, Alessandra," Toto scoffed, rolling his eyes as he watched Alessandra lean back in the sofa, giving him a goofy grin, "should've gone for comedy!"
"Didn't need to," she shrugged, as one of the producers handed the team principals a microphone, "I get to be a championship winning team principal and annoy you during press conferences, quite the comedy if I say so myself!"
Toto rolled his eyes once more as he crossed his arms over his chest, giving Alessandra an annoyed look whilst he tried to fight the smile that wanted to break on his face. Alessandra, Nico and Andrea were chuckling, but quickly calmed down when the producer announced that it was time to start the press conference.
"Welcome to the 2024 Austrian grand prix team principal press conference," Nico started, "and with us on the hot seat we have Mclaren's Andrea Stella, Ferrari's Alessandra Ferrari, and Mercedes's Toto Wolff. Welcome, it's been quite the race last time we were out in Spain, can you tell us about what you guys think about your team's performance so far?"
"Well, we're improving every week, but unfortunately it's not enough to catch these guys and Red Bull," Andrea started, "there's still a long way to go until the end of the season, and you never know how things can evolve, but realistically speaking, we might have to settle for securing P4, with the hopes that we can maybe get P3 in the constructors!"
"Thank you Andrea," Nico said, "Alessandra?"
"Coming into this season we knew that Mercedes and Red Bull will give us a tight fight, and that's what we've seen so far, so much so that the first place in the constructors and in the driver's championships has changed so many times, and we all got a taste of it," Alessandra explained, "we managed to create a small gap between us and Red Bull in the constructors in Spain, so did Charles against Max, and we hope that at least we can enter summer break leading both championships. And I cannot exclude Mercedes from possibly taking the lead, because they're only a couple of points behind the Bulls, and they've brought quite an impressive package!"
"Toto?"
"Yeah, like Alessandra said the battles' been tight with Ferrari and Red Bull, and we've had good moments, and we've had races where we could have done better or couldn't even keep up with them," Toto started as he answered Nico, "but we've been working hard to improve the car to be able to fight Ferrari and Red Bull and hopefully be the ones that come out victorious."
"Okay, so," Nico said, glancing down at his cards for a second, "are we expecting any upgrades for this race?"
After Andrea answered, Alessandra lifted the mic against her lips and Toto was focused on the Italian, a wave of heat rushing through his body when he watched her stick her tongue out for a second, lick her bottom lip before she started talking.
"Yes, we're bringing a big package to improve the chassis and aero, with the aim to get more potential out of the car," she said, nodding her head slightly, "these upgrades are important, as it will not only determine this race, but it will give a good indication for the last three races."
"We're bringing parts of the package this weekend, basically with the same aim like Ferrari's, " Toto said, "we're optimistic that we can get more performance out of the car, and give the others a big challenge."
"Oh yeah?" Alessandra asked, quirking an eyebrow at the Austrian as she watched the smirk make its way on his face, "I accept your challenge, Torger."
"Challenge accepted indeed," Toto replied, and the two bosses shook each other's hands, their eyes holding an intense and challenging look, their nerves buzzing in determination and desire as their skin tingled from the touch.
Nico asked the three team principals a few more questions before letting the journalists on the floor ask their own questions. A bit over thirty minutes later, the press conference was over, and Alessandra was the first to stand up, with Toto right behind her as she went and gave Nico another hug, telling him that she'll see him around during the weekend before heading next to Chiara. Toto chatted with his former driver for a moment, having a quick catch up whilst every now and then, his eyes went on his arch rival, watching as she talked with Chiara as the PR manager handed her the phone, her eyebrows furrowing in focus as she scrolled through it, and he wondered what made her become so serious as she forcefully put her phone in the pocket, then walked out of the room.
The media day in Austria was probably one of the busiest media days Alessandra's had in a while, and as much as she did not like doing media, she needed a proper distraction more than ever that day, and she was glad media day was of use for that. She had been receiving updates from her father's doctors, telling her what procedures have been done, what the recent tests resulted in and what were the next steps going forward. She felt her heart heavy and stressed accumulated with every message she read, and she was feeling guilty that she couldn't be with her father as he got some of the worst tests done whilst she was away on work.
She was the only one receiving the messages, none of her brothers were invested in their father's medical journey like she was, because she was the one who could be in Italy between races, and she was the one that stood by their father's side when she was home, so there was not really the need for the brothers to get constantly updated. They even refused it when Alessandra asked them, and that was brutal for her, because she had hoped that they could see what's it been like for her, and go through a fraction of what she is enduring with all of this.
After her interviews, Alessandra locked herself up in her office, not bothering to head back to the hotel and quickly jumped on the many meetings she had lined up with the departments of the team she did not manage to speak to earlier in the morning. She read all of the data reports they sent her, understanding their reasonings behind the explanations they gave her during the meetings, and she then explained to them which areas she though needed more improving, but overall she was very pleased with the results being shown back at the factory, knowing how beneficial they will be for the upcoming races.
Alessandra glanced at the top right of her laptop screen, eyes widening when she saw that it was almost 9pm. She let out a sigh, running a hand through her messy hair as she checked her inbox, replying to the last email she had before closing her laptop shut. She got off her chair, raising her arms as she stretched her body, the sounds of her back cracking echoing against the walls of her office as she started packing up her stuff, getting into a state of panic for a moment when she couldn't find her car keys, but then remembered that she gave Mick the keys after telling her that he wanted to leave the track and Charles and Lewis had already left. She sighed once more, her mind feeling all over the place as the distraction created by work was wearing off, and her mind was quick to remind her of what her father was going through back in Maranello.
She grabbed her phone, checking if there were anymore updates from the doctors, even though she knew that he was not getting tests done at that hour, but she did it almost out of habit, a fixation she had that she wanted to know every single detail about what they were doing to her father and what resulted from the tests, even though every messaged received was tearing her apart. She didn't know how long she could last, being strong for her father whilst trying to hide the biggest struggle in her personal life the moment she's in the paddock. She's got one of, if not the most, important job within Ferrari, and that alone brings its own stress, pressure and battles, and she was used to handling that, even when that also felt too much sometimes. But having to worry about her team, whilst worrying about what's happening to her father, she didn't know how much she had left in her to endure it.
She put on her black coat before throwing her bag over her shoulder and locked her office, then gave a quick, but thorough check around the motor home before locking everything up. When she stepped out of the motor home, an icy gush of wind hit her face, and as if that was the last straw to snap in her, because in a split of a second, everything that she was bottling came to surface, all the emotions, the stress, the tiredness, the sadness she's been pushing away just surfaced. It was like this depressive wave pulled her in as she slapped her hand over her mouth when a sob left her lips, tears streaming down her face as she quickly glanced around, then ran behind her team's motorhome, collapsing on the floor as she felt herself crumble with every sob that left her body, releasing every single thing she's been bottling for the past few months.
It was another late night for the Austrian, and he was not really looking forward to the long drive back to the city. Every time he came to Austria for the race, he had considered staying in a hotel near by, but he loved spending time in his apartment in the city, especially because he doesn't get to stay there as often as he would have liked, and he's closer to his children that way, so he's always willing to do the two hour drive back and forth.
He closed his laptop after his last call with his team back in Brackley, the quiet almost deafening as he packed up, knowing very well that he was the last person left in the motorhome, and most probably the last person left in the paddock. He would have loved to have left earlier, but he needed to get through the meetings, make sure that they the team is able to give Ferrari and Red Bull a fight and that the data's on par with what they're expecting.
After putting his jacket on and packing up, he made sure that everything and everywhere was locked up within the motor home, and he was greeted by the fresh, cold air when he stepped out. He was tired, and the yawns slipping from his mouth proved that, checking his phone to see what time it was, and if he had any messages from the kids before starting making his way down the paddock.
As he reached the Ferrari motor home, his pace stopped at the sound of loud sobs echoing through the night. He looked around, wondering where the noise was coming from and who was still in the paddock. He walked closer to the scarlet red motor home, eyeing the small windows to see if someone was still inside, but he ruled that out when he saw that it was pitch black. He glanced at the gap between the motor homes, the bit of light illuminated on the paddock showed a faint silhouette behind the motor home, and Toto walked towards it quietly, not wanting to scare the person that seemed to be going through a tough time.
However, he stopped dead on his track when, behind the motor home, he found Alessandra crouched down, almost in a fetal position, her body shaking with every sob she let out. He was shocked, his heart dropping in the pits of hist stomach at the sight, not expecting to find his rival crying her heart out, especially when she seemed to have been a good mood during the press conference and whenever he spotted her doing an interview in the middle of the paddock.
"Alessandra," he quickly said, dropping his bag on the floor as he gently approached her, "Alessandra, what's wrong?"
The Italian let out a low, muffled groan in the palm of her hands at the sound of Toto's voice, cursing to herself that he also had to be working at the same time she was, and having to be the one to find her in her most vulnerable state, again. She shook her head, turning her body away from him slightly, feeling ashamed that she's become so vulnerable and weak, and he's once again witnessing it.
A shiver ran down her spine when she felt his presence right next to her as he crouched down next to her, his hand on her back, slowly rubbing it as he looked at her with sheer concern.
"Alessandra, please," he said, beg sounding in his voice, "talk to me, tell me what's wrong."
"Leave me alone Toto," she mumbled, her voice hoarse as she shook her head, "please, I cannot have you seeing me like this!"
"You know very well I'm not leaving you here like this," he said, wrapping his arms around her and pulled him in his chest, feeling her shake against his body as the sobs did not subside, "come on, let's get out of here, or you're gonna catch a cold."
Alessandra barely had to make any effort as Toto pulled her on her feet, his arm still holding her right at his side as he guided her out from the back of the motor home. Her vision was blurred by the tears that did not want to stop, and for once, she just gave up on trying to fight her tears and try and be strong, letting her head fall on his shoulder, her arm making its way around his torso to be more steady.
She handed Toto her paddock pass when they arrived at the gates, scanning it for her and held her gently as he helped her get through the gate, scared as if she'd drop and shatter, like she was made of glass. He wrapped his arm around her once more, feeling her body flail against his side as he looked around the parking, only seeing his Mercedes in the parking lot that looked like a ghost town.
"Where's your car, Ale?" He asked, looking down at her, his hand gently rubbing her arm, hoping that she's started to calm down as her sobs seemed to have subsided.
"Mick took the car," she answered, her voice low and cracking mid sentence, not even daring to look up at Toto as she hid her face in his chest, which made his heart shatter, "I was going to get a taxi back to the hotel."
"Okay then," he said, "I'll take you to your hotel." Alessandra nodded her head against his chest, looking up slightly as they made their way towards his car. Toto stopped at the passenger side, opening the door and gently helped Alessandra on the seat, trying to see if she would look at him as he buckled her up, but she wouldn't even dare to make eye contact with him.
He let out a sigh, closing the door and made his way around the car, throwing his bag in the luggage booth, then put her bag, which he's been carrying since he found Alessandra, with his before getting in the driver's seat. He glanced at Alessandra, finding her look outside the window, tears still streaming down her face as she snuggled her hands in the sleeves of her coat. He turned the heat up slightly, hoping that the warmth would make her feel better, whilst trying to wreck his brain over how he could make Alessandra feel better, and why she broke down the way she did, especially knowing how she manages to handle her emotions, especially when she's at work.
"Alright, so," Toto started as he placed his hands on the steering wheel, "which hotel are you staying at?"
Alessandra did not answer Toto's question, her mind barely comprehending his words as she was accumulated by thoughts and visuals of her father, the pain and suffering he's going through, the countless of times she's taken him to the hospital for test since after Japan. She knew that from Austria there was nothing she could do, but read through the messages she received from her doctors, her body almost jumping every time a message comes in, scared to read the update. Seeing the doctors' names on her phone almost made her physically sick, and she knew that if she went back to the hotel where she'd push her friends away saying that she needed to work, in reality she would obsessively reading the texts, and her father's medical reports, like she wanted to torture herself more than she was already being tortured.
"Ale?" Toto's voice was soft as he called out her nickname, sending a rush of warmth through Alessandra's veins, which finally got her to turn her head and look the Austrian in the eyes, the look of concern and worry almost made her burst into tears again, "where are you staying?"
"Am I going to sound silly if I tell you that the last place I want to go is the hotel?" She asked, letting out a nervous chuckle, "I don't think I can handle being alone in my room right now."
"You don't sound silly at all, Ale," he said, giving her a reassuring smile as he placed his hand on her thigh, "you don't need to go back to the hotel, but what about the guys?"
"I'll just tell them that I'm gonna be busy with work and not to disturb me," she shrugged, but then shook her head when she realised what was happening, "you know what? Never mind, take me back to the hotel, you need to rest and not have to worry about me."
"Nope, I'm not taking you back to the hotel, I know just where to take you," he said as he started the car, "you just text them, and maybe let them know that you'll be seeing them at the paddock tomorrow."
"What?" Alessandra asked, looking at him confused, "where are you taking me then?!"
"I'm taking you to Vienna, being away from the track before having to actually be there will do you good," he said, giving her a small smile as he started the drive out of Spielberg, "and it's a bit of a drive back and fourth at this hour, so you'll be spending the night at my place there."
"What?" She exclaimed, eyes widened in surprise, "but what about Ben and Rosa, what will they think if they see me there?"
"They're staying with their mum for the night, so they won't be there," he reassured here, "but, even if they were, I don't think they'd be concerned about it because they adore you!"
"Really?" Alessandra asked, a small smile breaking on Alessandra's face, "do they really?"
"They really do," Toto nodded, also smiling, "they're always talking about you whenever we discuss formula 1, always asking me how you lead the team in ways Ferrari never managed before, or even how you manage to be the best from the rest of us!"
"Just like Luca then," she told him, her heart warming when she saw his smile getting wider at the mention of her nephew, "I may be his favourite aunt and team principal, but the little boy's obsessed with you, always asking for you whenever he's at a race. You should have seen him the night before we went karting!"
"Oh yeah?" Toto asked, chuckling, "what did Luca do?"
"I went to my parents' house to have dinner with them and my brothers after the race," Alessandra started, a wide grin on her face as she looked at the road ahead, watching the trees flash by them, "the boy spent the whole dinner telling my dad how excited he was that you were going to watch him race, which confused the man, so Lorenzo had to explain to him that Luca and Jack are friends, who both wanted to race against each other, and I was also going to be there."
"Luca is such a sweet kid," Toto said between laughs, "and a very talented one too. No wonder he looks up to his aunt so much." Alessandra turned her head towards him once more, giving him a soft smile, which he returned as he placed his hand on her lap.
Alessandra let herself sink in the comfortable passenger seat, taking the hand Toto laid on her lap in hers, whilst grabbing her phone out of her coat pocket with the other hand. She opened her messages, debating on whether she should tell Charles where she's actually going to be, since he's the only person she didn't have to lie to about Toto, but that meant she'd have to give him an explanation, and she couldn't tell Charles what her father was going through. So she opened the team chat, and messaged everyone there to let them know.
Scuderia Campioni 2023!!!!
Alessandra
Ciao ragazzi!
just a quick heads up, I've got some important
stuff to take care of tonight so I'm gonna be
fully on do not disturb mode.
It's the same thing for tomorrow morning
I'll see you guys at the paddock xx
Charles
Copy that, Ale!
Do you need anything whilst you're stuck in your room?
Lewis
I saw some of those sweets you said you like whenever you're in Austria
Want me to get you some?
Alessandra
I'm good guys thanks :)
Rest up, we have an important day tomorrow
That goes for you as well Mick and Arthur!!
Arthur
Yes Ma'am!!
Mick
Always, Ale!
"So," Toto started as Alessandra put her phone under her legs, "do you want to talk about what made you cry like that?"
"I can't," she sighed, turning her head slightly to look at Toto, watching his jaw tense slightly in concentration, followed by his tongue peaking out slightly as he licked his lips, "I can't tell anyone."
"What do you mean, you cannot tell anyone?" Toto asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he spared a quick glance towards the woman sat in the passenger seat, "you know it's bad to go through something tough on your own, we talked about this last year at-"
"At Lake Warfaaz, I know," she said, cutting him off, shaking her head slightly, "if I told you, then we'd have another Lake Warfaaz, but I promised someone that I cannot open my mouth about it, or else it would be carnage if it got out in the media."
"Alessandra, sometimes promises have to be broken if it means your mental health benefits from it," Toto said, "we can have another Lake Warfaaz, you know I won't say a single word about it."
"Why do you want to know?" She asked, her voice sharp which took the Austrian by surprise, "how do you manage to be there when I'm at my worst? You're always there like some sort of knight and shining armour in my rarest, darkest moments. How the hell do you manage to find me in those situations?"
Toto was stunned at Alessandra's tone, barely able to move as he tried to focus on the road ahead, whilst he felt her shift slightly under his hand. He didn't mean to push, but he cared for Alessandra, deeper than he wished to admit, and he had no answer to her question, because he himself doesn't know how he managed to find Alessandra in her low moments, and this was probably the third time it happened, and they've all be coincidental.
An uncomfortable silence hovered over them, and Alessandra knew that it was partly her fault from her harsh tone at the man who's trying to make her feel better. She let out a loud sigh as she ran a hand through her hair roughly in annoyance and sadness, guilty that she's suddenly letting her anger out on him when for the first time this year, he wasn't the reason for all the anger boiling up at her. She wanted to tell him, her mind was begging her to open her heart with him, to trust that he'll keep the biggest secret she's holding, because for some reason, it was him she wanted to confide in.
"I'm sorry," she said, breaking the awkward tension that fell on them, "it's just a tough situation. And as much as I want to talk about it, even create another Lake Warfaaz, I don't know if it's the right thing."
"I'm not going to pressure you into telling me anything Ale," he said, giving her thigh a reassuring squeeze as he turned to look at her with a soft smile for a short moment before looking back at the road, "but remember that your mental health is important, and you shouldn't be suffering because someone made you promise. You'll end up being really hurt in the end."
The rest of the trip was sat in silence, but it was no longer awkward as Toto told Alessandra to choose the music from his phone, letting the music fill the car and have Toto tap his fingers to the beat of the songs that were playing against Alessandra's leg. It was such a harmless gesture, but it was a gesture that made Alessandra feel warm and safe, and she didn't know that's what she needed at that moment.
She let her eyes wander around as Toto drove through Vienna, a city she's never had the chance to properly visit when she was older, as she went with her parents a couple of times when she was a child when they were invited by Niki Lauda. She's got vivid memories which were coming back to her as she looked at the beautiful buildings they passed by, wishing that she had more time in Austria so she could probably visit the city and have her time as a tourist. But she's getting to see more than she thought during her time in Austria, and she would be lying if she said she wasn't glad that she's in Toto's home city, with him.
Tiredness slowly started to accumulate Alessandra as Toto drove through an underground garage, stopping his car a few minutes later after he parked it. All the energy she wasted from crying her heart out over her father was catching up to her, but she was so tired that she couldn't sleep, like her body's become forced to work on autopilot.
She got out of the car, her legs feeling slightly weak as she walked towards the back of the car, about to grab her back as Toto threw his over his shoulder, but Toto grabbed it before she could, earning him a confused look as she watched him also throw her bag on his shoulder before closing the luggage booth.
"You know I can carry my bag, right?" She asked as he locked his car, chuckling when she saw him shrug his shoulders as he tucked the keys in the pocket of his jacket.
"I know," he replied nonchalantly, "now come on, let's head inside, I'm dying to get out of these clothes." She nodded her head in reply as she was about to start walking, but stopped when she felt Toto's hand grab hers, looking down as she watched their fingers intwine with each other, feeling a wave of warmth forcefully rush through her veins, her cheeks heating up when she looked up at him, seeing the small smile he had on his face as he gently tugged her before making their way to the elevator.
Alessandra stood behind Toto when they entered his apartment, gently sliding the sneakers off her feet when she saw him do the same, standing there as he placed the bags on the floor before sliding his team jacket off his body, hanging it on the coat rack. He then went behind Alessandra, slowly placing his hands on the collar of her coat, gently dragging it off her body, feeling his breathe against her neck for a moment before he walked back to the rack, placing her coat next to his. He then took her hand once more, grabbing the bags with his free one as he led her through his apartment.
It was decorated beautifully minimalistic, just like his apartment in Monaco, but the tones were warmer, almost reminding her of her home in Maranello. She let her eyes wander around, taking it all in, smiling slightly at the pictures he had of the kids, from when they were babies till the age they are now. She also got a glimpse of the view he had from the balcony outside his living room, spotting the buildings of the city lit up beautifully.
"Do you want something to eat?" Toto's question brought Alessandra out of her short-lived daydream, looking up at him with a small smile as she shook her head.
"I ate at the office," she answered, "so I'm good."
"Okay," he replied, "well, let's get out of these clothes, yeah?" Alessandra nodded at his suggestion as Toto took her into his bedroom, after briefly showing her the kids' rooms. She stood next to the door as she looked around, the mixture of beige and dark brown merging beautifully together, and made the room feel warm and cosy. As she spotted the glass door behind the curtains which led to another balcony, from the corner of her eye she saw Toto open the ensuite door, switching the bathroom lights on as he walked in for a moment before coming back out and walked into another room, which she assumed was his closet.
"Your home is beautiful," Alessandra said as Toto walked back into the main area of the bedroom, with clothes in his hands, "there's this warmth about it, which I cannot explain."
"I'm glad you like it," he said, a smile making its way on his lips as he walked towards her, "I've got some clothes which you can change into. Do you want to take a shower?"
"If you don't mind?" She asked, giving him a shy smile as she slowly started to feel like she was imposing on him, even though he was the one who invited her to his home in the city.
"Of course," he replied, giving her a crewneck and a pair of sweats, which she knew they would be too big on her, but she didn't care. She was looking forward to wear his clothes again, "let me show you where everything is."
Toto took her in the bathroom after she grabbed her bag from the floor, listening carefully to where everything was, and when she saw that she was good to go, he gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead, which made Alessandra's heart swell up, before walking out of the bathroom, leaving her alone in her thoughts.
She quickly discarded her work clothes from off her body, folding them and putting them in her bag as she stripped naked. She tied her hair up before jumping in the shower, letting the warm water hit her skin as she stood there for a while, trying to control the thoughts and reminders of her father that slowly started to accumulate once more, and as pathetic as she felt that she couldn't be alone because she was scared of crumbling in the middle of Toto's bathroom once more, she quickly washed up and wore the clothes that he gave her, quietly thanking the heavens that she had her spare pair of panties in her work bag.
She grabbed her stuff and made her way back out, finding Toto sat down on the edge of his bed, scrolling through his phone with his change of clothes by his side. He looked up when he heard her put the bag down, a smile forming on his lips at the sight of her in his clothes, a sight he truly craved since the night she stayed over at his apartment in Monaco.
"Would you mind if I stayed out on your balcony?" Alessandra asked as Toto stood up, walking towards her.
"Yeah of course, make yourself at home," he answered, "if you feel like something from the kitchen, just go and grab whatever you want." Alessandra nodded, thanking him as she watched him disappear in the bathroom. She let out a sigh, grabbing her bag and taking out her packet of cigarettes and lighter before making her way out on the balcony. She sat down on one of the chairs, bringing her knees up to under her chin as she lit the cigarette, snuggling her hands into the sleeves of Toto's sweat shirt as much as she could as she inhaled her cigarette, feeling tears swell up in her eyes as her mind couldn't keep quiet with thoughts about her dad.
Toto came out of the shower dressed in similar attire he gave Alessandra, turning in the direction of the balcony door, finding his rival sat down, curled into a ball with a cigarette between her fingers, inhaling on it every so often as she stared out at the view. He wondered if she was thinking about the reason she was crying, and he didn't know how to make her feel better, especially because he didn't know what made her so sad.
He left the room, hurrying to his kitchen, taking out two glasses of wine, and filled them up with some of his favourite white wine, then took them back to his room. He hoped that maybe some wine would make her feel a little better as he slowly opened the balcony door, the sound of him bringing Alessandra's attention.
"Do you mind if I join you?" Toto asked as he got out on the balcony, the cold air hitting him like knives, and he wondered how Alessandra was not even flinching at the cold.
"As if you have to ask," she answered, a giggle escaping his lips as she pointed at the empty chair, "this is your home!" Toto chuckled, taking his seat as he looked at her, handing her a glass of wine, telling her that he hoped that it would make her feel better. "Thanks, and I hope you don't mind me smoking, I just really needed it."
"I don't mind at all, Ale. Don't worry about it," if Toto said this to another person, he would by lying, because he hated cigarettes, and people smoking next to him. But ever since he saw Alessandra smoke, it never bothered him whenever she smoked around him, truth be told he found it attractive on her. "Are you feeling better?"
"A little," she said, shrugging her shoulders slightly as she took a sip of the wine, "I don't know honestly, my mind's still in a havoc state and I just can't seem to control it like I have been."
"I'm not telling you this to push you," he said as he placed his hand on her leg, "but don't forget what I said, if you think talking about it will help you rest easier, then do so. It's your mental health, not anyone else's."
Alessandra nodded as she took another sip of her wine, feeling her mind and body turn into one civil war as she knew that she had to keep it a secret, but a part of her was telling her to tell Toto everything, so she could finally be more at peace knowing she opened up to someone about how she's been feeling the past weeks. She let out a sigh, deciding to follow that part of her which has been begging her to open up for the past weeks, turning her body towards Toto.
"If I tell you, you have to promise me that this is another Lake Warfaaz, because this cannot get out to the media in anyway possible," she started, her voice stern and Toto quickly realised that she was not joking around, "I'm serious! No one apart from you and me can know about this, not even Charles or Lewis, and I swear to god that if you try and give me pity at the paddock, I will mess you up so bad that you won't be recognisable the next race."
"I fully understand Ale, and you have my word," he quickly replied, nodding his head, "and this will be our whatever happens in Vienna stays in Vienna."
"I really should not be telling you, I'm about to break the biggest promise I made to my dad," she breathed, running a shaky hand through her hair, "but a part of me has been begging me to open my heart to you, and I decided to listen to that. Please, no one can no about this."
"You can count on me, no word is coming outside of this apartment or city," he said, scooching his chair closer to hers, "do it at your own pace Ale. I'm right here."
Alessandra nodded her head, taking a deep breathe before taking a good gulp of her wine. She let her eyes wander on the beautiful view of the city, letting her body relax with the lights that were dancing with the wind. She already felt her body relax as she knew that she was getting a bit of weight off her body, and even though she was breaking her father's promise, she knew that it was the right thing for her.
"Did you ever hear about my uncle, Dino?" She started, "Enzo's favourite son?"
"Yeah, I heard stories about him," Toto replied, nodding his head, "he died at a very young age because of an illness, no?"
"Exactly, he had Duchenne Muscular Disorder, which is a disorder that children get and is usually fatal after a few years, which is why Dino died at the age of 24," she said, "because of that, my dad tested for it every year, even until this day, and so did my brothers and I because there was the possibility of one of us inheriting it. Luckily, none of us inherited it."
There was a long pause as Toto watched her chest rise for a long moment as she took a deep breathe in, sucking on her bottom lip as she looked down at her lap, the hand that was holding the wine glass started shaking as she slowly lifted it up to her lips, a short, but sharp gasp left her lips as she took another sip.
"At least that's what we thought until my dad felt himself become physically weak and went to get checked at the hospital," Toto's eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, but he felt his heart slowly shattering in his chest when Alessandra finally looked up at him, her blue eyes filled with tears, "my dad was diagnosed with the same disorder that took his brother, and the doctors have never seen the disorder at his age."
"Oh, Alessandra," Toto sighed, putting his hand on her leg, her breathes becoming shaky as she tried to push down her sobs, "I am so, so sorry."
"I've been tearing myself in two ever since my dad told me, flying back and fourth to Italy between races even during double or triple headers, so I can take my dad to as much appointments as I can, so he wouldn't have to go through it alone," her voice started cracking as tears streamed down her face, "and whenever I'm not there, I receive messages from the doctors with results and updates on my dad's tests and procedures. You can't imagine how much it hurts seeing my dad go from one procedure to the next, not able to cry because I have to be his strong pillar during all that, like he was mine growing up and becoming and engineer."
"And what about your brothers?" He asked, "are they helping you and your dad in any way?"
"Of course not," she scoffed, letting out a loud, sarcastic laugh as she rolled her eyes, "my brothers have their own lives, running their own businesses with their families far, far away, so they can avoid the harsh reality my dad's living and call to check up now and then. I'm the one who's being stretched thin balancing running a team and being with my dad. I'm the one with the doctors' messages on my phone, scared that one of those messages will tell me that they want to talk because there's nothing else they can do."
"And can I ask," Toto started, "how long have you been going through all of this?"
Alessandra let out another long sigh as she took the remaining sips of her wine, putting the empty glass on the small table before wiping the tears that didn't seem to want to stop with the sleeve of Toto's crew neck. "Right when I returned home from the Japanese grand prix."
Toto did the calculations in his mind as he thought how long it's been since the race she just mentioned. He knew that it's been quite a few races, especially when they're only three races away from completing the first half of the season and Japan was at the beginning, but his eyes widened when he concluded that it's been almost three months. His heart broke even more that neither him, who he could comfortably say knows Alessandra well enough to recognise when she's not doing well, and her friends or anyone within the Formula 1 world had a clue that Alessandra's been lifting such heavy weight for three months, and she's been going through one of her worst moments alone.
"Fucking hell," Toto mumbled as he looked at her, finding her looking at him with glossy blue eyes, "I really am sorry, Alessandra."
"There's nothing to be sorry for," she shrugged, "my dad made me promise him because he did not want anyone to know or get it leaked out in the media and create a story that Ferrari's become a rocking ship because one of the most important people in the company is ill. We cannot afford to show no weakness, especially in the aspect of the sport."
"I understand where you're dad's coming from, but know this," he said as he placed his hand on the side of her face, cupping it gently as he wiped the tears from under her eyes, letting her head lay in the palm of his hands as her blue eyes looked up at him, "you've been doing a hell of a job, and knowing how well you're running the team, whilst having to go through all of this, is something remarkable and very few people have the strength to keep on going like you do."
"Please promise me Toto," she said, her eyes pleading at him, "that you won't tell anyone about this, and don't tell me to tell Charles or Mick, because my dad will know. I'll tell them when my dad tells me to, but you cannot tell a soul or show that you know something about me that no one else knows. Please."
"Of course liebling," he said as he leaned closer to her, "I promise that this stays between us."
Alessandra felt her chest lighter as Toto rested his forehead against hers, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the warmth of his skin against hers as she finally felt at peace with herself for the first time in three months. She realised more than ever how much she needed to get it all off her chest, and she never thought that it would be Toto who'd help her through it. But here she was, sat on his balcony, in his hold, and she felt safe, but she knew that he hurt her, and he still hasn't realised that he hurt her because he got everything so wrong, and she wasn't going to forgive him. She wasn't going to cave and forget everything because she let one of the walls that's been hurting her, but she was going to enjoy this for as long as she could, because she needed it, she needed this.
"Do you want to stay here for a while longer?" His voice was soft as he talked to her, opening her eyes and let them wander over his face, enjoying the closeness, "or do you want to go inside and get some sleep?"
"Let's go back inside," she replied, giving him a soft smile as she placed her hand on the side of his face, caressing his cheek, "we need the energy for tomorrow." Toto nodded, standing up as he helped Alessandra up too, who grabbed the cigarettes and her wine glass before making their way back inside.
Toto asked her if she wanted something else, which she politely declined before he left the room to take the empty wine glasses back in the kitchen. She put the cigarettes back in her bag, standing in the middle of the room as she looked around. She wondered if Toto was going to take her in one of the spare bedrooms, or if he wanted her to share a bed. She turned her head when she heard the door open, the Austrian giving her another gentle smile as he walked towards her after closing the door.
She almost let out a loud sigh when he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his his chest, feeling his heart beat hard against her face as she wrapped her arms around his waist. They stayed like that for a moment, in comfortable silence as they listened to each other's breathing, bodies slowly swaying side to side. They then pulled away slightly, but they still kept their arms around each other as they looked at each other, their eyes holding a longing gaze. Alessandra grabbed a fistful of the back of Toto's sweatshirt as she rose on the tip of her toes, placing her lips onto his, taking the Mercedes team by surprise for a moment but quickly let himself melt at the kiss. It wasn't rough, it wasn't fuelled by lust, but it was gentle, and loving, as if it was Alessandra's way of thanking him, and all he could think of at that moment was that he'll help her to battle till the world's end if he meant getting a kiss like that every time.
When she pulled away, she gave him a smile as she stepped back, making her way to the left side of the bed. He watched her sit down as he made his way to the other side of the bed, the two getting under the sheets as he dimmed the lights. He didn't know if Alessandra wanted to be held or if she wanted to keep her distance, but when he felt her slowly moved towards him, he decided to test the waters, wrapping an arm around her waist and gently pulling her in his chest once more, and he knew he did the right thing when he felt her wrap her leg on his, resting her head on his chest as the two fell into a comfortable slumber.
The feeling of warm rays on her face is what stirred Alessandra awake, slowly opening her eyes as she tried not to get blinded by the sun that was seeping through the gap between the curtains. She let out a muffled groan as she turned around, expecting to snuggle back in Toto's chest, but that chest was not there, and neither was the rest of him, when she fully opened her eyes and found his side of the bed empty. She rubbed her eyes as she slowly stood up, her senses starting to come together as she stretched her body whilst the smell of coffee and cooked pumpernickel hit her nostrils.
She went in the bathroom, almost jumping when she saw her reflection in the mirror, barely recognising who was looking back at her. Her eyes were a mixture of black and red, from all the crying and tiredness, her face felt slightly blotched and swollen. She sighed as she threw cold water, hoping that it would wake her up and make her look less like a zombie that's just crawled out of its grave.
She grabbed her reading glasses from her bag, hoping they hide some of the darkness under her eyes as she slowly shuffled out of the room. The smell of the food got stronger as she stood in the long corridor, glancing at her phone every now and then as she walked through the apartment. She looked up from her phone as she entered the kitchen, but stopped right at the entryway when she saw Toto by the stove cooking...and Ben and Rosa sat around the kitchen island.
She froze with eyes wide as she felt embarrassment take over her body. She had endless thoughts crawling through her brain, and for the first time they weren't about her dad, but about how Toto's kids were about to find out their biggest secret. She didn't know how they were going to react, and she was ashamed that if they were about to find out, this is the way they were going to, and she looked like some whore after a one night stand, and that was the last thing she wanted to be pictured as, especially to the two most important people in Toto's life.
Rosa turned her head to the side as she spoke with her older brother, her eyes widening when she saw the Ferrari team principal, dressed in her father's clothes, standing at the entrance of the kitchen with sheer shock. The young Austrian was also surprised to see her dad's arch rival at his apartment, but she had been excited to meet Alessandra during the race, and she was even happier that she got to see her earlier.
"Alessandra!" Rosa exclaimed as she jumped off the stool, quickly getting her father's attention as he watched his daughter run up to the Ferrari team principal, pulling her in a tight hug, which caught both team principals in surprise, "it's so good to see you!"
When Toto woke up, he saw Alessandra sleeping peacefully and beautifully, and he knew that she needed the good rest after everything she told him the night before. So he left her sleeping as he went in the kitchen, deciding to make them breakfast so she'd eat when she woke up. Whilst he was cooking he heard the front door open, and he became internally mortified when he heard his children call his name out. His mind quickly went to the woman sleeping in his bedroom as his children joined him in the kitchen and apologised for coming unannounced but they wanted to have breakfast with him before he went to the track, trying to figure out how he was going to explain to his kids that his rival is at his apartment.
Alessandra was taken out of her shocked state when Rosa hugged her, managing to let out a nervous chuckle as she wrapped her arms around her, looking up at Toto, who also had a nervous smile on his face, shrugging his shoulders as he was confused as she was.
"Hi Rosa," Alessandra replied, glancing down at her, "how are you?"
"I'm good," she replied as she pulled away, "I didn't know you were staying over! Are you hungry? Dad's making breakfast!"
"I,uh," Alessandra was stuttering as Rosa took her hand and dragged her to the kitchen island where her brother was still sat, practically pushing her on the chair between hers and Ben's. She looked at Toto's eldest son, who also gave her a wide smile as he leaned towards her, giving her a quick, but sweet hug, which made Alessandra all the more confused as to why Toto's children were not reacting weird that she was there, "yeah, I'm hungry."
"Alessandra was in the city for work and got stuck here," Toto said when he saw the pleading look Alessandra was giving him, wanting him to help her in that situation, "she knew I was staying in Vienna and asked if I could help her out, so I let her stay for the night." He gave the Italian a discreet wink as he put the plates filled with food in front of her and the kids, then took a seat across from them, "Ben and Rosa came unannounced because they wanted to have breakfast before I headed to the track."
"I'm sorry for crashing your breakfast with your dad," Alessandra said, chuckling slightly even though she still felt a bit uneasy.
"Nonsense!" Rosa beamed, "I don't know if dad told you, but I've been looking forward to see you on Sunday! I had so much fun talking to you last year during the tennis match."
"Oh that's so sweet," Alessandra smiled, "I had so much fun talking to you too that day! And yeah, I told your dad to let me know when you guys would be at the track so I could say hi!"
"So Ben here is about close to finishing his masters," Toto said as he swallowed a piece of pumpernickel and glanced at Alessandra and his kids, "he wants to own a team someday!"
"Ah, just like his dad then," Alessandra said, looking at him with a curious gaze, "but I'm sure you'll do an even better job than him!" The two kids burst out laughing as Toto looked at Alessandra with feign hurt, which made Alessandra feel more at ease at the situation that she was currently in as she laughed along with them.
"I mean yes, that's the dream," Ben said, giving Alessandra a soft smile, "but I'd like to get experience first, see what working within a team entails. And, I also want to be close to the machinery and watch the processes of the cars being made and how the people within the team work."
"Remind me, you're studying sports management, right?" Alessandra asked, angling herself towards the young man to show that she's fully interested.
"Yes, but I'm also minoring in motorsport engineering," he replied, "I want to have the proper knowledge going into working within a team. I don't just want to use my knowledge from what I see."
"Ben's already got good knowledge, he was always one to ask questions about the cars whenever he visited the factory," Toto continued, "I told him that he could work at Mercedes, but he refused!"
"Yeah, because people will know me as your son there," Ben scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"And you want to make a name for yourself, I get that," Alessandra said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I know first hand what it's like to be known for someone else, and making a name for yourself is hard when you stay within the same entity."
"How did you make it work Ale?" Toto was intrigued with the question his son asked, all of the Wolffs' looking at Alessandra with full concentration and curiosity. Even Rosa, who didn't have that much interest in motorsport, but was interested in Alessandra's career, having become someone Rosa looked up too.
"Even though it doesn't seem like it because I work within the family's industry, I did work hard and pushed myself to be better independently." she started, "I never got any special treatment when it came to me working with Ferrari, that was something which I established the moment I knew I wanted to be an engineer, and I had to work extra hard to prove to everyone that I am not just the surname. Obviously the nepotism comments came, and even the sexist comments, but I pushed through those comments and worked night and day, and I guess the results spoke to themselves."
"Your father's part of the upper management in Ferrari, no?" Rosa asked, which Alessandra nodded to, "wouldn't there be a conflict of interest if he voted for you to be the team principal?"
"When it came that my name was in consideration for the team principal role, he didn't vote in it, so he would not be an influence on anyone," she replied, "and I was chosen through a unanimous vote by the rest of the board, who trust me, will not choose someone because of their relations with the family, but because of the years of experience and ways of leading."
"Does your dad interfere with any plans you have for the team?" Ben asks.
"Not really no," she answered, "he does give me advice, which the team and I take into consideration very thoroughly, but until now he's never pushed an idea which I disagree with so I implement it. I know very well which directions I'm headed in, and my dad knows that he cannot influence me, even if he tried."
"That sounds good," Ben nodded, "but still, I don't think I want to start getting experience with my dad's team. Like don't get me wrong, I hope I can reach a fraction of what my dad did all these years, but maybe I'll join Mercedes when I have grown more and gained more knowledge."
"That's understandable," Alessandra smiled, "have you thought about going to Maserati?"
"I did, but that would be another conflict," Ben sighed, "because we know Federica and Matteo, especially now that you and dad are Luna's god daughter."
"Oh you don't have to worry about conflict or favouritsm, especially with Federica," the Italian laugh, "the woman will torment you during interviews and trials to make sure she's hiring the right person, even if you're getting started."
"Is that what she did to you when you started working at Ferrari?" Toto asked, quirking an eyebrow at Alessandra, earning a nod from her.
"Oh yeah, she treated me a whole lot different the moment I stepped foot at the factory as an engineer than when she used to teach me when I was younger," Alessandra answered, "the first thing she told me was I don't care if you're Enzo's granddaughter or god himself, you will prove your worth to belong with our team. And she's one of the few people that truly shaped me as an engineer, because she was on my ass at every mistake."
"I think Maserati would be a good fit for you," Toto said, "Federica's insanely tough, and Matteo's really smart, and they are the combination of the two things you want to continue on, and you can have a good aspect on both the automotive and the sport side of the company."
"I can talk to Federica about it," Alessandra said, "and if you're still working in that sector and you're good at your job, I might be the next one to interview you if you're interested in joining Ferrari!"
"Poaching my son already now are you?" Alessandra chuckled, rolling her eyes slightly as she looked at Toto, the two cocking an eyebrow at each other as their hard and dominant gazes locked.
"Just like you tried poaching me from Ferrari a few times," she shot back, a smirk making its way on her lips, "I always rejected you, but it's harder to reject Ferrari than it is to reject Mercedes."
The children looked at the two team principals, who started retorting back and fourth reasons as to why their team is harder to reject, then looked at each other, stiffling their laughs as they enjoyed the playful bickering between their father and his arch rival outside of the track. They wanted to express the same thought they were sharing, but they knew it was not the right time, especially with their father and Alessandra in the same room, so they decided against it, continuing the lovely breakfast they were having.
Toto was the first one to finish eating, excusing himself to Alessandra and his kids before leaving the kitchen to go get ready for the day. The Austrian let out a loud breathe he didn't know he was holding when he closed the bedroom door behind him, having managed to hide the nerves he had during breakfast, scared that something would slip out in front of his kids which would end up exposing him and Alessandra's situation.
He was mortified when his kids came over, and even more so when Alessandra entered the kitchen, and looked as much mortified as he felt when she saw the two having breakfast with him. He had no idea what Ben and Rosa thought when they saw her, the nerves that accumulated him that moment almost made him sweat. But he then calmed down when he saw how happy the kids were to see here, not even interrogating her with questions as to why she was staying with their dad, especially when they are known arch rivals for the past year and a half, and quickly engaged into conversation with her.
He didn't want to admit it to himself, but seeing Alessandra, dressed in his clothes after waking up in his bed, sat in his kitchen with his children, even amidst the nervousness she felt she was still smiling brightly and conversing with the kids, he couldn't help but wonder if his future would look like that on a daily basis if him and Alessandra were romantically involved. And that thought made him smile, because for him seeing his children happy meant everything to him, and they seemed to be very happy with Alessandra's presence, and even he was happy to have her around in the city he grew up in.
Toto quickly shook those thoughts away, not wanting to let himself get dragged into the a delusional world within an alternate universe and jumped in the shower, washing himself before changing into his usual race weekend attire which consisted of the staple white team button up tucked into black pants. He slid on a pair of Puma sneakers, threw on the long rain jacket and grabbed his bag before making his way back out into the kitchen, which was filled with laughter as he heard Rosa tell Alessandra a story from her days at university.
"So," Toto said as he glanced at his watch after everyone finished eating, before glancing back up at Alessandra, "I think it's time I dropped you off at your hotel."
"You're right!" Alessandra exclaimed as she looked at the time on her phone, "Uh, let me go grab my things." Toto nodded as Alessandra jumped off the stool and rushed into Toto's room, standing in front of the mirror as she analysed herself in the mirror dressed in Toto's clothes. She couldn't help the small smile that broke on her face as she thought how comfortable she felt in his clothes, and enjoyed the sight of them on her almost as much as she enjoyed the sight of him with no clothes.
After quickly arranging her hair, she grabbed her bag and made her way back in the kitchen, finding Toto washing the dishes and the kids nowhere to be seen. She smiled at the Austrian when he heard her walk in, stepping close to him as she tried to grab the dish towel, but he quickly stopped her.
"Come on," she chuckled, "at least let me help with the dishes."
"Nope," he replied, shaking his head as he gave her a grin, "plus, they're all done now. You ready to go?"
"Yeah," she nodded, "where are the kids?"
"They're in the living room," he replied as he put the dish cloth away before throwing his bag over his shoulder, then opened the fridge and took out two water bottles. Alessandra thanked him when he handed her one, and she followed him as they made their way out, but stopped when they got to the living area, where Ben and Rosa were sat on the sofa, looking up when they heard the two, "alright, so Ale and I are heading to the track, Are you guys staying here or going back to your mum's?"
"Yeah, we're gonna stay with mum, but then come here tomorrow," Rosa told her dad before turning to Alessandra with a smile, "it was nice talking to you today!"
"Likewise," Alessandra said as she put her hand on Rosa's shoulder, "wish we weren't in such a hurry to get to the track cause I would have loved to talk to you both some more!"
"We're coming to the track on Sunday," Ben joined in, "maybe we can talk a bit more there?"
"Ben," Toto said, his voice stern as he looked at his kids, "Alessandra's running a team, just like I am, so she's going to be very busy, especially because it's race day!"
"Toto, it's fine," Alessandra said, looking up at Toto with a look that could make him melt into a puddle, but also put him in his place at the same time, something that barely anyone could do to him, but Alessandra could. She then turned to the Wolff kids with a smile, "I'm sure I'll be able to chat with you for a bit on Sunday before the race!"
"Just," Toto jumped in, earning him three raised eyebrows from the people around him, "don't show that Alessandra spent the night here. One whiff of that from the media or other teams, and we'll never hear the end of the rumours they create."
"Of course dad," Rosa chuckled, "now go, you both got work to do!" Alessandra and Toto nodded as he went and gave his children a hug and a kiss on their cheeks. Alessandra then stepped forward, giving the two a hug before her and Toto left the apartment.
Ben and Rosa turned towards each other when the door closed, letting out a loud laugh as they shook their heads at each other.
"When do you think dad will admit that he's head over heels for Alessandra?" Ben asked.
"He needs to admit it to himself first," Rosa shrugged, "but hopefully soon. I love Alessandra and whatever their relationship is, she brings out the best of him."
"She really does," Ben nodded, "but what about their jobs?"
"Yeah, they're each other's biggest rival, and imagine the backlash for Alessandra if the media found out," Rosa sighed, running a hand through her hair, "do you think Alessandra could love dad so much that she'd risk her job?"
"She's the most passionate person I've ever met, so it could go two ways," Ben explained, "or she loves dad so much that she would be willing to risk her job by being with him, or she loves her job and her team so much that she wouldn't be willing to risk anything for it."
"You're right," she said, "I love how we're talking about dad and Alessandra like they're already together but they're hiding it from us!"
"We're creating fantasies," Ben laughed, "but honestly, if I had to pick anyone for my dad, I'd pick Alessandra in a heartbeat!"
"Me too," Rosa smiled, "and honestly I hope it happens, even if it seems impossible."
Alessandra was sat in the passenger seat of Toto's Mercedes once more, both en route to Spielberg to get started on the race action of the Austrian grand prix weekend. She had picked a playlist when they started the drive, which was currently blasting in the car as they sat in comfortable silence, Toto focused on the drive whilst Alessandra was reading some emails she received in the morning from Maranello. Toto could hear Alessandra type on her phone, and he glanced at her a couple of times, finding her focused as she analysed what was on her phone and typing away, knowing that it was work related, but obviously he didn't pry. He did find it amusing, and somewhat admirable, that she's going to be at the track in a couple of hours, able to work in her office, but yet, she was sat in his car working away instead of enjoying the little peaceful time she had left.
The Ferrari team principal tucked her phone back in her bag when she finished reading the emails, knowing that she'll have less to read when she gets back at the track, and she could spend some time with the guys before the practices start, or at least have less emails to go through. She turned her head to the side, glancing at the man who was somewhat of a saving grace for her yesterday, but she wouldn't admit that to him, and she also knew that the guard she let down last night had to come back up, because she couldn't forget how much he hurt her with his words, and she wouldn't be able to forget or move on from the hatred that still brew in her until he realises how wrong he's been and apologises.
"I'm grateful for yesterday, taking care of me and letting me stay at your place for the night," Toto's ears perked up as he listened to Alessandra speak up in the midst of their silence and the music playing, and from her serious tone, he couldn't indicate which way the conversation was heading, "but it's just that. You still hurt me, you still make me want to strangle you sometimes when I know that you're not willing to listen to me explain to you what exactly happened. A part of me still hates you and that won't go away just because I spilled my biggest secret to you."
Toto let out a silent sigh as he ran a hand through his hair, not having thought about the possibility that they would go back to square one and only be civil towards each other. He knew he had hoped for nothing after Le Mans, but he did hope that they'd be more than civil, be how they were last year after she spent the night at his, but once again, he was proven wrong. And hearing her say that she still hates him, it made his heart sting.
He knew he was to blame, but once again, his ego's too big to let him listen to her explain, he still believed that she was in the wrong, and there was nothing that could change his mentality.
"Yeah," Toto replied, nodding his head as he gripped the steering wheel tighter as he tried to calm himself, "a part of me still hates you too."
The rest of the ride was dead silent from the two team principals, both lost in their own thoughts as time suddenly felt slow, and all they wished, especially Alessandra, was to reach the hotel, as she tried to ignore the sting she felt as the last words Toto told her replayed in her head.
Toto slowly pulled up in front of the hotel, which was almost a desert as all the team personnel staying at the hotel had already left to go to the track, which was good for Alessandra. She felt awkward as she turned towards Toto, giving him a tight smile, not knowing which was the right thing to say at that moment.
"Uh, thanks for the ride, and thanks for last night," she said as she unclasped the seatbelt, "I'll see you at the track."
Toto didn't reply, just nodded his head, watching Alessandra's face fall at his reaction for a split second before her confident demeanour returned as she opened the door and jumped out. He watched her rush inside the hotel, letting out a loud and long breathe he felt like he's been holding for ages, seeing her disappear within the hotel before he made his way to the track.