So The Rose's publicist came up with the idea of making Rosé and Andrew pretend they're together for damage control.
Now, the public is on their side even more.
And people were actually curious about their music due to this publicity.
"Why are you drunk and alone? It's dangerous..." that damned ex of mine slipped on the chair in front of me just when Jisoo was out on the dance floor dancing alone... or with some blonde guy, whatever.
"How did you know I'm here?" I frowned, trying not to slur the words.
"Jisoo's post," she shrugged. "Hyeri and I happened to be in a bar nearby."
"And where is she?"
"Probably with Jisoo by now."
I narrowed my eyes at her.
"She insisted we meet you guys here, you know..." she said awkwardly, her eyes on my drink, "You drink a lot nowadays?"
"I need it," I said in annoyance. "Now, why are you here?"
"I already said so. Hyeri wanted to be here," she looked away.
I huffed. "You're just an attention-seeking brat."
Even I was surprised that came out of my drunk mouth. I looked at her but she just looked amused.
"Well," she clicked her tongue. "No point in hiding that."
I placed my palm on my forehead, "Lisa, I have a boyfriend whom I love and you're my ex. You're supposed to be far away."
"I just wanted to know you're safe, Jennie," she said sadly, "And maybe, who knows, be friends?"
That's ridiculous. You can't be friends with someone you loved more than yourself yet still managed to break your heart.
But of course I didn't tell her that.
"I don't think so," I shook my head. "I'm not ready for that."
I saw sadness in her eyes as she stared at me. I kept ignoring the way she looks at me ever since I saw her again. She may appear cold and casual but if my guts are right... then she hasn't moved on yet.
"I'll respect that," whispered Lisa, staring straight into my eyes.
I teared up. Oh, God. Why am I tearing up?
I looked away quickly.
Maybe it was the loneliness.
My boyfriend was away and we were having troubles. I want to be selfish so bad... but I love him and supporting him is the least I can do right now.
My days in the office were peaceful as I did not see Lisa the following weeks, not even once.
At one point, I kept ignoring Andrew's apologies whenever their marketing strategy went over the top... being flirty on stage all the time.
I didn't even know what to tell my mother and Hyunsuk so I ignored them a lot too.
Jisoo, on the other hand, became the one I always rant to. She seems to be happy anyways because she get to persuade me to drink. But at least she cares enough to stop me when I've had too much.
"I'm so sorry," Andrew tells me that one time I answered his call.
"For what?"
"It's supposed to be simple for us, not this complicated."
A bitter smile crept on my mouth. "That's always the case, isn't it?"
"It feels like I'm cheating on you even though I'm not," he took a deep breath. "And I miss you. Terribly."
"It's just... small prices to pay for your great dream," I say softly. I can't help but be guilty. "This all will be worth it so just do what makes you happy, okay?"
"I love you so much Jennie," his voice seemed to be lighter, happier.
I smiled, "I love you."
Of course, there are no secrets that time does not reveal. As their fanbase grew, they became more obsessive of his personal life. I had my social media in private but somehow, people managed to circulate a few picture of us together, although we were not exactly touchy in those pics, just side by side and smiling at each other.
Some were outraged, even accusing me of being the thirdparty. That was when I realized how big of a name my boyfriend is becoming.
"I'm so sorry," again, was his introduction.
I firmly closed my eyes, trying to calm myself.
"It's not ending anytime soon, is it?"
"The management wants us to keep quiet. They'll handle this, alright, babe?"
"Did you call me just to make sure I wouldn't explode and accidentally tell everyone the truth?" I was starting to lose my patience.
"Hey, no..." he sounded frustrated, "I'm sorry. But can you please understand? I have a lot to lose at this point. The tour is going really well and they just started booking arenas for our last few shows."
"That's really nice. Maybe in one of those arenas you finally get to kiss her."
"Jennie!"
"I'm just tired, Andrew."
"Wait," his voice became deeper, a monent of silence followed before he spoke again, "Do you think... maybe we can take a break?"
The silence was defeaning with that one.
"I love you, I do..." he says quietly, "But there's just so much going on and I really think I need to focus on this for now, on my dreams."
It felt heavy in the chest, even heavier because I get what he's saying and it's honestly something I might say so myself eventually.
Because it's too complicated and tiring.
"You know I want what's best for you too," I whisper, "Even if I'm not what's best for you."
Moments of heavy breathing.
My tears welled up.
"Fuck, we're really doing this over the phone..." I hear the shaking of his voice, "I want to come back home to you, Jennie, but keeping this relationship going is ruining us both... for now. I'd.. I'd like to think maybe one day, when all these craze settle down, maybe then it could work..."
"It's okay," I sniffed, "Don't promise me anything. I'll hate you forever if you break it."
I threatened that lightingly, making him chuckle sadly.
"Doesn't mean I can't make a promise to myself..." those were his words. I know what he meant by that but I did not held on to those words because it will only hurt me more.
"I swear you have dumb taste in people! I mean, what's wrong with their decisions in life? They have to understand that YOU should be their priority!" Jisoo grunted.
Tonight, I asked Jisoo if we could drink in her place because I didn't want the noise in the clubs. I just wanted to drink a little, maybe just to pour out how I feel... but I felt too tired to speak.
No words were coming out of my mouth. Maybe I've seen it coming. I've been hurting ever since he left, too hurt and sad to the point that now that we officially broke up, I just feel lifeless.
It was Jisoo who did the ranting, anyways.
"That blonde isn't even all that..." she blabbers, talking about Rosé in her drunkness. "What do people see in her?!"
I shook my head, slowly getting up to go to the restroom and pee. I looked at my lifeless eyes in the mirror and felt a little sad seeing that kind of reflection.
Why do things get messed up just when things start to get perfect?
When I went out, Jisoo's phone was on the floor while she's on all fours with her mouth lowered to her phone.
"You piece of shit! You hurt Jennie first so I cursed you first! When I'm done with your loser ass I'll curse him next! He's a fucking piece of trash that good-for-nothing—"
"What are you doing?" I stomped my way to my drunk bestfriend, taking away the phone from her reach... she was too drunk to even snatch it back she just stumbled on the floor, mumbling curses as her eyes became droopy.
I sighed when I confirmed it was Lisa on the phone.
"Jennie?"
I was about to end the call but I heard her call me.
I should just end the call. Get some sleep.
But instead, I lowered myself on the floor while Jisoo started snoring beside me.
"What?" I asked in a soft whisper.
"I know you and Rosé aren't exactly... compatible. But she apologized to me before," she says, slowly, "And I don't think she'll do anything that might ruin another relationship after ours being ruined."
I laughed unbelievably. "You're still siding with her, of course. She's your friend. Oops, sorry. It's colleague, your word."
"I'm not siding with her. I'm confused with that pretend relationship too. But for all it's worth, I don't think he's dumb enough to hurt you intentionally."
"Sure, you know how these things work."
"Does he know why you loathe your father?"
I hugged my knees with one hand and rested my chin on my knee, "You knew and still hurt me. So I figured, why would knowing that change a thing?"
I heard a shuffling on her hand and a deep intake of breath, "So he doesn't know."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm ending this."
"Jennie...." her tone seemed conflicted, making me stop, "Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?"
I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt my eyes become hot, my face all hot. The corner of my eyes became wet with possible tears. But why would I tear up now? I'm too tired for this.
"Just... leave me be."
-
Jendeuk, eat this happily for me!
That was the message on the lunch I found on my desk at work the following work day. She's out on a business trip, surprisingly.
I texted her my thanks, smiling a little because my bestfriend is trying to cheer me up even when she's far away.
It's chicken, of course.
Still, my mind wandered a lot to Andrew. I was distracted in work.
The next day it was vegetable salad and a sandwich.
Dunno what you want so just choose one or both!
"Oh, Jisoo..." I sighed, a smile escaping my lips for the first time that day.
I texted Jisoo my thanks again, which my rude bestfriend just ignored again.
"Hey, how do you know Hyeri?" the blonde girl beside me asked, her name is Kkura. She's always the earliest one out here.
Blinking, I looked at her. "Just a mutual friend, why do you ask?"
"Those are from her right?"
"Uh, no?"
She shrugged, "I thought she was the one who gave you that. She was on her way out when I arrived."
Jisoo doesn't even like her enough to ask that favor....
I got distracted when I saw Andrew's latest post, of him playing the guitar while looking at the crowd, making me smile sadly.
The next day, something prompted me to come to work early. I didn't sit on my cubicle yet and chose to sit somewhere hidden in the back since no one's in our area yet...
My mouth parted when I saw someone quietly approaching my desk.
"Bogum?" I stood up so he could see me.
He stumbled backwards, clutching his chest as if having a heart attack, "Y-Yah... w-why are you there?"
"I should be the one asking why you're here," I said while approaching him. I looked at the paperbag he just put on my desk, then narrowed my eyes at him, "Yesterday it was Hyeri and now it's you?"
He squeezed his eyes shut, "Dammit Hyeri. I asked her to cover for one day, just one! Probably went later than I told her to," he mumbled under his breath, which I could understand... then he smiled awkwardly, "Oh, well. I guess you can easily put two and two together. I told her we'd be found out but, oh, well."
For someone who got busted, he actually seemed happy.
Lisa had the audacity to pretend as if she's Jisoo by calling me Jendeuk. She knows only Jisoo calls me that.
"Get that damn food and stop doing that," I said, anger rising in me. "Tell her to quit playing."
"Lisa isn't—"
"You're not allowed to enter this floor. Do you want to get in trouble?" I asked calmly despite my fists clenching.
His eyes widened, quickly grabbing the paper bag. "Well... okay."
I quickly snatched the note and read it then glared at him as I gave it back. It says take care, always.
"And tell her I don't want to hear from her again."
-
"Jendeuk, aren't you happy I'm back?" Jisoo pouts while I sit on the couch of her office, cross-armed and cross-legged. "I already said I'm sorry when I said nothing, I mean it's making you happy and I got the credits!"
"I'm sorry, okay?" she said after I glared at her again, then sat down in front of me, "So, what did I miss last week? Did she apologize?"
"No."
"Did you yell in her face?"
"No."
"So... it just ended there with Bogum being busted?"
I nodded.
"And have you moved on from Andrew?"
I glared at her again.
She whistled, "One ex is still madly in love with you. Another, you're madly in love with but it's too complicated."
"It doesn't mean Lisa is madly in love with me," I deny, "She just did that because she's concerned."
"Stop defending her!" Jisoo says playfully.
"Jisoo will you ever take me seriously?" I asked in frustration.
She smiled, "I do, Jen. But from what I see, you're not gonna agree with what I think."
"And that is?" I asked, impatient.
"To choose what's simpler," she said meaningfully, and I know by that look she was talking about Andrew being too complicated at this point.
I huffed, "Lisa isn't simple. She was complicated but it doesn't mean things will be easier this time that she—"
"Seems to be desperate to have you back?" she smirked.
"No she isn't! She didn't even reach out after last week."
"Whatever you say, Jendeuk."
I was growing more and more frustrated. "I could always opt to be single and wait for someone else. Why would I have to choose one of my exes?"
"That would work if you've moved on from at least one of them."
"I've moved on from Lisa, that's been ages ago. And I will move on from Andrew."
She looked at me, like, really look at me I began to be conscious.
"What?"
"I woke up, you know..." her face became softer, "That night, after I drunk called Lisa for you. When you ended the call, I heard you cry and curse her again and again."
"That..." my voice faltered, "That was because she hurt me before."
"And you're still hurt. Is that all that's left? Pain?"
"Lunch is almost over," I looked at my wristwatch. "I need to get back to work."
Jisoo let me run away.