Carter's POV
I didn't know what to think.
I could barely fucking breathe. There he stood. Sean. The perfect mix of Crispin and Dieter. The prodigal son. He found me. My eyes kept flicking back to the front door, if he was here then maybe--
"Why are you here?" Sloan had moved to where he was standing protectively in front of me. His voice was laced with anger and malice, something I wasn't expecting him to have. Especially towards his best friend. But from the looks of it, it doesn't even seem like that is the case anymore.
I slyly tugged Sloan's shirt and our eyes met briefly before snapping back towards Sean. I knew he understood what I needed to ask.
"Are Dieter and Crispin here too?" He asked, a low deep growl sat in the back of his throat as the words left. Sean's eyes went wide and he looked surprised at his friend's tone. I was too.
"What? No. They don't know where I went." He sighed and crossed his arms. "Not like they'd care anyways." That part was low, barely audible. But I heard it. And it left me confused and questioning. As well as Tatty.
"I need to talk with Carter." He moved his eyes from Sloan and he found mine. I had never seen Sean so...soft? I don't even know if that is the right word, but it was the opposite of his hard and cold demeanor. "Carter, I need to talk with you."
My heart raced with uncertainty. One, because being alone with Sean since I beat him to a pulp was nerve-racking. Secondly, I don't talk. He doesn't know that. What would he think if he did? The door swung open and Turner looked and made an exasperated look. Only for a moment before a bundle of dark hair and green eyes rounded the corner and joined us in the kitchen.
Addi.
"Fuck, okay. You guys haven't killed each other yet." She let out a deep breath and relaxed.
Her face was flushed, indicating she ran in there. She must have been waiting in the car. She looked at me and there was sorrow and pain in her eyes. Not towards me but for me. Addi was never a problem, she and I got along but there wasn't any substance in our relationship. Not really.
"Hi, Carter. I'm sorry to barge in, b-b--but I just wanted to see you." She gripped her hands tightly with each other. Almost as if she was restraining herself from something. From me.
Sloan was still stiff, eyes stayed firm on Sean, and he stayed firm on me. Goddess, this was going to be messy. But as we sat in silence and two sets of pleading eyes were facing me I noticed something. I noticed how I felt.
I thought the first time I'd see Sean and Addi again I would be filled with dread and anger. But right now, I wasn't feeling any of that. In fact...I was feeling fine. I was confused about why they were here but other than that, seeing them wasn't a painful experience. Now, my seeing my father was a whole other thing, but Sean and Addi...
And I couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with Sloan. Who am I kidding, I know it was Sloan. He was healing me from the inside out, and I didn't realize it until now.
"Can we talk?" Sean huffed, and I noticed as his fist balled up and he closed his eyes and gritted through his teeth, "Please."
"I don't think--" Sloan went to talk but I put my hand on his arm stopping him. He turned to me and concern etched on his face. I looked at him hoping he'd see what I was trying to say. Goddess, these are the days I wish we could mind link.
I signed a quick it's fine to him and I jumped down off the counter, straightening my clothes. Sloan's eyes were still on me.
'Do you need me?' He signed and I nodded.
'I need you to interpret. I don't feel like writing.' Sloan gave me a firm nod and grabbed my hand. I did, however, notice that both Sean and Addi looked at us confused. But neither spoke up and said anything.
"Turner we're going to have to put the pizza on hold until we are done." Turner just nodded and stood there anxiously biting his lower lip. He walked away leaving us, running upstairs to his room. "Follow me," Sloan spoke, taking the lead, and had us all walk to the living room. Cars were still playing in the background, and I had to hide my laugh at how ridiculous it seemed at that moment.
Addi and Sean sat on the opposite couch. And Sloan and I sat together, not before we paused the TV, saving it for later. We all looked at each other awkwardly waiting for the other to start the conversation. But then Sean finally sighed and started. However, I couldn't help but notice just how tense he was.
"Look I--" He cleared his throat, his gaze on the floor as he continued. "I didn't mean to patronize you, dude. I was just teasing, messing around--" I rolled my eyes at that. "I didn't know you had a punishment for using your lycan strength. Especially something that fucking severe."
"I didn't know either Carter, and frankly, I don't know why you do." Addi chimed in and I nodded, waiting for them to continue. Sloan sat beside me his arms crossed, nothing but anger on his face as he stared at my siblings...well technically my niece and nephew.
"I didn't say that for you to fucking leave either. Everyone is worried about you--" I scoffed and rolled my eyes at that. Not believing it for a second. "Just come back, seriously. If you do I'll leave you alone. I--I'll even try to get pops to let up on the punishment."
Sloan moved closer to me, he rested his hand on my leg almost like he was protecting me. His eyes were glowing a low gold, indicating that Loren was there and present. Tatty however remained quiet. Which worried me.
'You think I only left because of you?' I signed, knowing he couldn't understand. Adding to my frustration. I lightly poked Sloan and I gestured for him to explain to them.
"Carter communicates through sign. And seeing as neither of you know how to sign, I will be interpreting for him." I watched in awe as he spoke. Voice deep and filled with warning, that any wrong move and he would attack. I shouldn't find that so attractive.
"Oh, okay, yeah. No problem." Addi said quickly, and when Sean still hadn't said anything she elbowed him and he nodded in response.
(A.N the rest of this time, Sloan will be speaking for Carter, but it will be written like Carter is talking. If that makes sense. But he's not.)
"He said 'Do you really think that the only reason I left was because of you?" Sloan started and I leaned into him. I needed to ground myself and remind myself I was safe. Sloan was here and I was safe.
"I--I mean yeah, I didn't know it to be anything else," Sean said honestly, but I noticed his face go red, just for a moment.
"Have neither of you noticed how our fathers have treated me? Like I was a fucking thorn in their side? Or were you so wrapped up in yourselves?" I felt anger building but I tried my best to keep it a bay.
"Carter, you're being unfair--" Addi spoke up, a bit of anger on her face, and Seans.
"Unfair? How could you possibly say that? I was constantly told that what I was doing was wrong. Constantly yelled at, ignored, and forgotten, and I'm being unfair?"
"Yes! You are! You think you're the only one with shit with our dads?" Addi yelled and I was frozen in place. She was always the more level-headed one out of us. So seeing her yelling...at me, was strange. "You might not see it Carter, and I'm not saying you don't have your shit to deal with. But we don't exactly have a golden relationship either."
"The only reason, dads even speak to me is because I'm always around. I'm constantly in their face, forcing them to talk to me. But if I'm not there, I don't hear shit. Sean won't say it, but with him, they don't even care if he's gone for hours of the day. Who is he with or where he goes? You say that they ignore you, and yell at you, and yeah that may be true. But when you're not around all we hear about, all they talk about is you. Carter this, and Carter that. They constantly worry over you. Even now that you've been gone for a month, all we hear and all they talk about is you."
"Anytime I try to talk I am dismissed, or Sean. He's been working his ass off to prove he is sorry for what he's done, but they've basically shunned him at this point. And even when I found my mate, just days ago, I told them and I was met with nothing. Not a congratulation, just silence." Tears were streaming down her face at this point. Sean had moved his hand to rest on her back as she cried and continued.
"Only you. You're the only one they give a fuck about. A--and so when you sit here and say all these things about how they ignore you. It's hard to believe it when we see the opposite. When we can feel the opposite...you're the only one they care about."
Silence.
It was thick and heavy as we all sat in Addi's proclamation. I was stunned. My mind reeled over memories, seeing if I missed anything. Seeing if there were signs of whatever Addi had said. I do know Addi was always with our dads, but it didn't occur to me that it was her doing for attention. I do know that Sean was always out, and given more freedom...but now I'm thinking that freedom was a cry for help. To see if anyone would notice.
This brings me back to the dreaded curse Aunt Rena told me about. What if it wasn't just me...but all of us?
I saw the hurt on their faces as I'm sure their minds drew them back to painful memories as well. They wouldn't lie...not about this. This was real and present. The hurt and pain. I needed to talk to Sloan, I needed to mind-link him. I went to the bond that held us and I tried to push on it, get some kind of connection but it wasn't budging.
"I didn't know..." My fingers felt stiff as I signed. It wasn't guilt that I felt, more so an overwhelming sense of awareness. "Do you know anything about a curse?" I asked, their eyes meeting mine, and they held confusion. Fuck, I guess not.
"Curse? What are you talking about?"
"There's apparently a curse that's been placed on our family from our great-grandparents. They made a deal with the goddess, this deal was to make the lineage strong and make our pack the strongest. But there would be a sacrifice. The sacrifice is different for every Romanoff, but apparently, our great-grandparents lost their family. They died or cut ties. Our grandparents couldn't have children. Aunt Dani no longer speaks to pops as much as they used to, that relationship forever changed. And now our parents...they thought the sacrifice was me. The relationship they had with me, but by the looks of it, it's all of us."
Silence fell again. But I continued, no matter how awkward it might be.
"It affects the alpha of the pack the worst, seeing as they run the pack. I don't know if it will affect me in the same way, seeing as I'm not Romanoff blood, but if it does I don't want to find out."
Sean was gritting his teeth so hard, I could hear it where I sat. Addi had fresh tears running down her face again, shock apparent.
"When does this sacrifice manifest itself?" Sean asked and I just shrugged.
"I don't know, no one knows. It just does. Whenever the goddess chooses."
"A--and who told you?" Addi's voice was so unsure, and heavy. Quiet. Opposite of what I've known her to be.
"Rena and Dani. A couple of days ago...along with some other information." I felt my hands get clammy, I felt like I should tell them, that I'm not their brother. that Crispin isn't my father. But I don't.
It seemed wrong. Now after everything they've said.
"Why wouldn't they tell us?" Addi whispered, more to herself. Her eyes focused on her clasped hands in her lap.
"I--I'm sorry, Carter. I didn't know you had shit with dads. I always thought that-- well, I guess it doesn't matter what I thought."
Two words I never thought I'd hear Sean say.
I'm sorry.
They rang in my ears, so loud that it almost hurt. Tatty let out a soft whine, the only indication that he was present. Was this why he was s dick to me? Why our relationship had changed? Had I been so caught up in my mess that I didn't realize the pain my siblings were in? And if I had...would things be different now?
I immediately stopped the thought process. I didn't want to think of what could have been. It happened the way that it did, and because it did, I was able to be right here in the arms of the man that I love.
Fuck.
I love Sloan.
'What an awkward time to come to that realization.' Tatty said, I knew he was trying to lighten my mood and I appreciated him for it.
But he was right. I'm here in the middle of repairing relationships with my family and Sloan is right beside me holding me. Letting me speak, keeping me grounded. Protecting me in a way no one has before. Not only that but he was funny, and a weirdo. The biggest goofball and I loved it. I looked forward to his teasing. He was kind, and always knew what to say. He was a family man before anything else and it leaked out of him in everything he did.
I hadn't realized I was staring at him until he gently squeezed my thigh. My eyes watering and Sloan's face held a worried look.
'Are you okay? Do you want them to leave?' He signed, but I just nodded and turned away.
I loved him.
"What do we do now?" Addi asked, getting my attention back. "I don't want a sacrifice." The agony was in her voice and I felt bad for telling them. Maybe this is why we didn't know. So we didn't deal with the dread of waiting to find out.
"I don't either...which is why I am not going to become alpha of the pack." Sean snapped his eyes to me, his face full of shock, and confusion.
"Are you serious? You're just going to give it up?" I knew what he meant. I had the position that he dreamed of, that he wanted more than anything. He couldn't imagine anyone giving it up.
"I'm not willing to risk losing anything in my life. Not now, not ever." As Sloan spoke the words I hoped that he understood what I was trying to convey. That I meant him. "It's yours if you want it, Sean. But you don't know what you'd be giving up if you take it." He gave me a knowing nod as he leaned back on the couch.
"I don't want it. I just met my mate, she and I--no. No, I don't want to stay there if I'm going to lose that." Addi had a look of determination on her face, I could see her wheels turning in her head about her next steps.
"Congratulations, by the way. I compahni sono un dono della luna. Una rarita che dobbiamo sempre custodire." Sloan spoke, it was rare when he spoke Italian. I think this was his first time since the dinner with him who shall not be named.
"It means, mates are a gift from the goddess, a rarity we must always treasure. More or less." Sloan's cheeks lit up like a Christmas tree and I couldn't help but lean into him more. Truthfully I wanted to sit in his lap.
"This is weird. Seeing you two so...cozy." Sean admitted. Addi quickly elbowed him again, and he glared at her.
"I think what he means is, congratulations to you two. I didn't think we'd see a day where you guys got along but of course, the moon goddess is funny in her ways." I shot Addi a smile once she was done. Sean looked back over to his best friend and I could see that he missed him. Dearly.
"Sloan--" He cleared his throat and continued. "Do you think we could talk? Just you and I?" Sloan looked at me for a moment, almost as if asking my permission. But I could see in his eyes as well, behind all the anger he missed his friend too.
'Go on, tiger. I'll be fine here.' Sloan leaned forward and pressed a kiss on my forehead before turning to Sean.
"Yeah, let's go outside." Sloan stood but before he left he walked to the kitchen, and I was confused for a moment. Until he walked back in with a piece of paper and a pen.
Goddess, I loved him.
They both left, Sean standing behind him. Leaving me and Addi to ourselves. A smile spread on her face as she got up and moved next to me.
"You and Sloan huh? Give me all the deets."
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DOUBLE UPDATE! Thanksgiving surprise!
Longggg chapter guys. But now you have some much-needed insight into their relationship with their dad. The sacrifice doesn't just affect Carter but all their kids. Crispin and Dieter don't know that, of course.
But I had to give Sean some kind of redemption. He's a hardass cause of this crazy thing called family trauma. HAHAHA.
CARTER LOVES SLOAN! I REPEAT, CARTER LOVES SLOAN. But will he tell him is the question...tehehe.
Anyway, let me know your thoughts about it. Would love to hear them!
Make sure you follow me everyone so you can get announcements on when updates are! Many of you comment within the book, and I post at least once a week on my feed when I will update.
Until the next...