-
It was a rainy day—a bad weather day, as Jake would call it. Tonowari and Ronal wouldn't. This weather was perfect for hunting. Neytiri, Neteyam, Kiri, Lo'ak and Tuk wouldn't. In the forest, it was only bad weather if it was storming.
And it wasn't storming. It was a gray day. A bad weather day. It was not raining all the time, even though you could see the rain clouds all day.
Jake felt like it was a day on which you stood up on the wrong foot. Neytiri was confused about what that meant when Jake brought it up for the first time. It was the day Seze died.
Khalo felt weird when he stood up. Like something was missing. Not from him, not a part of him, but like something was just missing.
Neteyam listened to him talk about how he felt. Neteyam tried to understand what Khalo meant.
Khalo appreciated it. He was thankfull for Neteyam beeing there, that he just listened.
Ronal felt empty as she stood up. Like something was missing. A part of her that she doesn't feel anymore. Like the feeling you feel when you think about a feeling you once had.
Tonowari understood. He imagined what happened. He didn't say it, though. He did not want to scare his mate, if it was nothing.
"The Tulkuns called." Ao'nung, Khalo and Tsireya spoke at the same time. Tonowari felt it too.
Ronal didn't. She began to realize. Realize in denial.
She didn't believe it. She didn't want believe it until she saw it.
But she had to see it. See her spirit sister's dead body floating in the water, and she cried. She cried because she saw no solution or explanation. She always had one. For everything. Everything happened for a reason—because the great mother wanted it.
The only ones who didn't do anything because of the great mother were the sky people. Sky people and demonbloods.
Jake would say Avatars. Ronal would say demonbloods.
Ao'nung, Khalo, Tsireya, Neteyam, Kiri, Lo'ak, and Tuk weren't allowed to follow their parents.
"What is happening?" Tuk whispered into Neteyam's chest. She was sitting on his lap, her hands tucked tightly together behind his neck. She didn't know what was going on, neither of them did, but they all felt. Felt the surrounding atmosphere. It scarred them.
"I don't know, Tuk, but it's going to be alright." He whispered back in her ear. He patted her head, knowing it would calm her. He did that since she was born. When baby Tuk cried, Neteyam would pat her head. When baby Kiri cried, Neteyam would pat her head. The only one hwo never like it was Lo'ak. He started to cry even more when Neteyam patted his head.
Khalo sat on his right side, leaning his head on his free shoulder. Lo'ak had his arms around Tsireya waist, whispering calming words in her ear since she was nearing tears. She was confused. She never felt so pushed down. She never experienced this kind of situation.
Ao'nung just sat between Khalo and Tsireya, staring at the ground. He was scarred.
Roxto and Kiri sat across from the others. They didn't touch in any way, but they whispered calming words in each others ears.
"Ao'nung." A voice neared. Ao'nung looked up, seeing Alíka coming his way. "Alíka." He sighed, standing up to wrap his arms around her.
"My spirit sister and her baby have been murdered by the sky people." Ronal cried out.
The clan was gathered around Tonowari and Ronal. Horror in their faces.
Tsireya shot her eyes closed; she didn't want this. None of them wanted it.
Lo'ak stepped closer to Neteyam. Kiri did the same, along with Tuk, who she was carrying. They all hid behind Neteyam. Subconsciously searching for some kind of protection.The did that since they were children.
"This war has come to us!" Tonowari hissed. Neytiri cringed. It was her realization that not even her new home was safe, that this war would not leave her family.
Kiri looked around, disoriented. Scared. The Metkayina let their war cry out. She found it weird. It looked weird. She wanted to be home. Safe. Or at least in war in the place she truly knew.
She stepped closer to Neteyam.
Tonowaris statement was the announciation that they were at war. That they now would fight back.
Khalo looked around. He stood behind Tsireya. He watched as Ao'nung and Roxto cried out. His eyes caught Neteyam's.
Neteyam looked at him, seeing how he was suffering under all of this. He turned his head away. Ashamed. His greatest fear was dragging Khalo into a war, he should not be in.
And he did.
"They don't care about the great balance." Jake tried to calm the situation, but only a few actually listend.
The rest cought it as a sign to start their war cry all over again.
"Listen. Listen to him." Neteyam tried to help. He knew what his father was about to say, or what he was trying to say. He leyes found Khalo again. Khalo didn't know what was going to happen. He was clouless. Helpless. He looked scared. Khalo didn't grow up in war. Lo'ak did. Tsireya didn't. Tuk did. Ao'nung and Roxto didn't. They've never even experienced such a tragic event.
Kiri did. She did grow up in war. She did grow up in a war with the great mother with her. In her. But right now, she wasn't there. She didn't feel the great mother. And it scared her, because she knew that not feeiling her meant, the great mother wasn't able to help.
"The sky people aren't going to listen. This is only the beginning. You've got to tell your Tulkun to leave." Jake kept going. Without succsess.
Neteyam calmed. Not because of what Jake said. Not because of anything. His inner self just calmed. He kept looking at Khalo, who grabbed Tsireya's hand. Neteyam slowly zoned out, brought back by Ronal's voice and Kiris hand grabbing his free one.
"You live among us. And you've learned nothing." She hissed at Jake. The clan broke once again in war cry out.
"I'm scarred." Neteyam heared Kiri whisper in his ear. "Neteyamm I'm scarred." Neteyam didn't know what to do.
"If you fight, if you attack, they will destroy you." Jake shouted over the loudness, trying to get them to listen to him.
"It's going to be okay, Kiri." He turned sideways to her. His eyes still on Khalo.
"Destroy everything you have. Destroy everything you love." Jake continued.
Khalo looked at Neteyam. He caught him staring. But Neteyam didn't seem to care. Khalos gaze wandered down on Neteyam. Only now realizing the thing he was holding. His eyes shot back to his eyes. Khalo realized, they looked a little empty. Too empty. Neteyam looked away.
It was the moment Jake grabbed that something from Neteyam to hold it up, so everybody could look at it. Khalo didn't. He stared at Neteyam.
"You tell the Tulkun, if they're shot by one of these, they're marked for death. Call for me, I'll silence it." Khalo doesn't listen to what Jake says, he only watched Neteyam whispering to Tuk and Kiri.
He watched Lo'ak dissapear, and Neteyam was about to follow him.
"Go." Ronal said. The Mekayina left.
"Neteyam." Khalo called out, following him. "Neteyam." He repeated it louder, as Neteyam didn't react.
Neteyam turned.
"What is it, Khalo?" He said it sharper than he meant to. Regret filled his mind immediately.
"Where are you going?" Khalo asked, stepping closer.
"Lo'ak." Neteyam said shortly, turning to go.
Khalo followed.
"It's not your task to look for him. He's old enough." Khalo holds him back by his arm. He wanted to know what was wrong with Neteyam and why he looked so empty.
"Talk to me, Neteyam. What is wrong?"
"Nothing Khalo."
"Tell me."
"Nothing's wrong."
"Clearly. You never look away from me, why are you now?"
"I'm not."
Neteyam didn't know what he meant. He just knew that something bad was about to happen.
"What are you not telling me?"
Khalo didn't know. He only knew a little about what war truly meant. What war costs.
"Neteyam, talk to me, what is wrong?" Khalo didn't understand. He didn't understand what was happening, why Neteyam didn't say what the problem was, why he looked down, or why he was so weird.
The problem was that Neteyam didn't know himself. He guessed he felt guilt. His family sought Uturu, and now the Metkayina are at war with people who are not supposed to be here.
"I don't know Khalo. I really don't know." He grabbed Khalos hands, as usual, they were cold. Khalo always had cold hands.
"But it's going to be okay. Everything will turn out okay." He repeated what he had already told Kiri. "But I have to go to Lo'ak." Neteyam didn't want to. But he forced his hands out of Khalos and started to leave.
"Neteyam, why won't you talk to me?" Khalo started again. He felt like losing something. Like something that was in his hands and is now slowly slipping away without being able to grab it again.
"Khalo. Lo'ak is probably on his way to Payakan, and if I don't stop him, no one will. Kiri and Tuk are not here, and my parents won't look where he is."
"You can't always protect him, Neteyam, you can't-"
"But I have to." Neteyam cut him off. "Let me go." He demanded.
Khalo didn't realize he had grabbed Neteyam's arm.
"I feel like you're not coming back."
"I will."
He was already walking when Khalo raised his voice again.
"It is not your damn task to always protect him. You need to realize that. He has his own mind and does things without thinking. And you are stupid enough to always cover him. You are always so Lo'ak here, Lo'ak there, you are so caught up with him, that you don't even realize that he probably doesn't even like you. That-" Khalo cut himself off.
Neteyam turned around. Looking at Khalo.
Silence.
The ten meters between them were filled with silence.
Neteyam turned again.
"No, no, Neteyam, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry."
Khalo runned after him.
"Neteyam, I- I'm sorry, please, I just want you to-"
This time, Neteyam cut him off.
"To what Khalo? To stop being stupid enough to look after my brother? To care for him when he doesn't care for me?" His voice was sharp.
"No-"
"Maybe you should ask yourself why your family doesn't look after you. Maybe you're just scared of love because no one has ever shown you it. Not even your fucking parents."
Khalo silenced. His brain slowly comprehended what was just said to him.
And when he did, Neteyam was already gone.