Lowkey keep forgetting about you guys here.
Sha, complete book currently available on both Okadabooks and Selar.
14TH SEPTEMBER, 2015.
THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU.
The date displayed itself across the screen, in a typed format and animation in bold on a black screen. It then changed, and a familiar face came into view. It was young Aahil, from back in secondary school. The uniform and background gave it away, not to mention the video quality.
It wasn't bad, just nothing compared to the quality of the camera in 2023 obviously.
He seemed annoyed in the video, it was obvious from the face he was pulling as the camera was held in his direction. At first, Amina couldn't figure out what was going on, till a familiar voice came from behind the camera.
"Introduce yourself." It was Benazir's voice; Amina couldn't miss it ever. She could recognize it even in her sleep.
The young Aahil, of nineteen years, glared at her—and judging from how its directed, she's the one holding the camera to his face. "I don't want to."
"Come on, help your little sister with her vlog."
"I don't want to." He repeated the exact same words from earlier, his face holding no ounce of excitement whatsoever. It seemed he was forced to be there, and would take the chance to be anywhere but if he could. "It's stupid."
The sound of her sigh came, and Amina could only imagine her pulling up one of her infamous sad faces at him. "Vlogs aren't stupid! Believe me, you'll look at this in a few years and appreciate being on it when I become a famous vlogger on Youtube."
"Isn't that every teenage girl's dream?" He quirked a brow. "You'll quit, believe me. You all do." Amina wasn't sure what happened afterwards, or what look Benazir pulled to guilt trip him into accepting what she wanted. But, he shook his head, his voice came yet again. "Okay, okay. I'll talk. Just stop with the face."
"Yay! Now, let's start again. Introduce yourself."
"Hello," He started stiffly, making Amina chuckle at the look he was pulling. She would be surprised if he doesn't say something to ruin it—he was more than capable of doing just that. "My name is Aahil Tafida and just to be clear, I was forced into doing this. Just, for your information." Yup, there it is. "Welcome to Benazir's shitty vlog, don't forget to subscribe, like, and comment. At least, before she quits." That sounds more like the Aahil Amina knew.
Benazir's huff came instantly. "You're an asshole." She stated, her voice seemingly not holding any ounce of amusement whatsoever. Seemed he had gotten on her bad side. "You know what, forget it. You'll ruin it for me anyway." She dropped the camera on the table.
Though it wasn't in a good angle like it was earlier on, his face was still visible. She could see his lips slanting upwards as he laughed over Benazir's sulking face. It was clear he enjoyed annoying her, might just be the reason he did just that.
She didn't stay angry for long though, because he gave her a few chocolate bars and that was the end of her anger. It was as if it didn't even happen. Amina was starting to think there was nothing important there, and that perhaps, she shouldn't have bothered herself watching it.
Her hand made a move to close the video and do something else when something caught her attention. There was a sudden change in their expressions, his especially as his gaze settled on seemingly someone, or something. His expression was hard to read, but it didn't take a genius to tell he was captivated for a second.
"Who is that?" He found himself asking, the question directed to the only other person that seemed to be with him at the moment.
Benazir must've seem whomever captured his attention because she hummed, "A newcomer in our class." She answered dismissively. "We're seatmates, she's nice."
"You know her?" He slanted his gaze in the direction of Benazir, whom wasn't visible due to the angle of the camera. Her voice could be heard clearly though.
"Of course." She confirmed. "I literally just said we're seatmates. Her name's Amina Ibrahim. A transfer student from another state. Heard she just moved here."
He didn't answer, he simply hummed then looked away, setting his gaze anywhere else. However, not even a second later, he looked in the direction he saw her again, his lips slanting into a small smile before the first part of the video came to an end, with a caption disappearing along with the video. 'I may nor may not had starting having a crush on you then.'
A new text came onto the black screen, in the same animation as earlier.
17th SEPTEMBER, 2015.
THE FIRST TIME WE SPOKE.
This time around, the video didn't contain any conversation. Rather, it simply showed her and Benazir sitting in their classroom. Judging from their positions, and the way they chatted away. It was lunchbreak.
Eventually, the video focused on just her. He must've zoomed it to cut out Benazir, leaving just her. As if knowing what was going on, she turned around, her gaze falling on him only for her to instantly glare at him, her lips slanted into a deep frown.
It was just after they'd spoken for the first time, and with him being, Aahil, he decided to make fun of her short stature to the point of annoying her, before he walked away. Not before sneaking that video though it seemed.
Amina couldn't remember the day clearly, but she could remember some parts of it. She was hoping the so called cousin of Benazir would be as nice as the girl was, only for her to see the exact opposite.
She picked up in instant dislike towards him then.
That video ended, and was followed by a few more sneak shots of her back then. There was none that was creepy, just random moments she happened to spend with him having being close to Benazir. They weren't in the same set, he was in his final year and they were only in ss1 then. Still, Benazir was pretty popular back then and got along with his set so they often were around them.
And every single chance they met, he used every second of it to pick on her in particular. He never misses a chance of it. Who would've thought he ended up documenting some of the moments? Their school didn't allow phones to be used, but they made exceptions for cameras as they encouraged students to have something to keep memories of their days. So, they used cameras back then to keep moments.
Truth be told, she has some that he was involved in as well, and was aware that he recorded some of them since she was aware then—she just chose to ignore it because she believed with the way he was treating her, he would just delete it afterwards. At one point, she even convinced herself he was doing it for Benazir to get the clips she wanted for her vlogs since he later on seemed to be supportive of it.
He was right though. She did eventually drop it just like that because she lost interest in it anymore.
There were a few scenes though that had Amina baffled for instance, like the one where she trekked back home, and weirdly enough, he was there as well. From the video, it showed she had earpiece plugged in her ears, while she typed away something on her phone giving little care to her environment.
While he was a reasonable distance away. To think their houses weren't even on the same path. It didn't take a genius to know what he was doing then.
By the time those videos came to an end, it followed with a caption as well.
'Truth be told, Benazir had most of these videos, I just retrieved it from her later on. We lost contact after I'd graduated, but I still hear of you from Benazir up till you graduated as well, and then you went off the grid.
I thought that was the end of it. I had other things to focus on, I had to focus on my work so I dismissed it as a childish crush and left it all behind as well.
But then, years down the line, you came into my life again unexpectedly, just when I needed someone.'
23rd FEBRUARY, 2023.
THE DAY YOU CAME BACK INTO MY LIFE.
This time around, what came into sight was a memory that was etched in Amina's mind, just not in the exact moment that was showcased. It was a video of him, seated in the exact position he was beside her on that flight to Manchester.
Now, looking at, she couldn't see much of a difference from him in 8 years except given the fact that he seemed more mature, and he became more good looking as well. How did she miss him?
Oh, yeah. The facemask.
The video showed him reaching his hand out to take off the facemask, to display his face that sported a small smile. The hat from that day still covered the upper side of his face, but his features were still visible nonetheless.
"Guess who I ran into?" He whispered, keeping his voice down but enough to be heard in the video. He then tilted the phone beside him, to show her sleeping figure all curled up in her chair.
Judging from the computer that was in front of her, now turned off and the airpods resting on top of it, it was from when she dozed off after attempting to 'be productive and write'.
But, it wasn't just that which stunned her. Rather, it was the rolling blanket that was draped to cover her. She may not have a recollection of when she fell asleep, but she was a hundred and one percent certain she didn't cover herself.
And if she didn't...then it could only be one other person.
Amina blinked a couple of times, her lips parting open as she stared at the video—her heart racing. If she felt touched by the videos she saw of back then, which she had no idea existed by the way, then she was close to bawling her eyes out because of those that followed.
He shifted the camera back to himself, which was followed by his voice as he spoke. "She couldn't remember me by the looks of it." He nodded to himself, tsking slightly. "Makes sense. It's been years but then again, the little fool has always been one with a short memory."
A slight chuckle escaped Amina's slightly parted lips. 'Little fool'. How she hated that name back then. It was the one name he addressed her with throughout the year she'd known him back in the days. She'd honestly forgotten of it, till they met again and he occasionally used it.
She'd always found it annoying, because it is.
And yet at that moment, to simply hear the name, it made her heart swell.
He tilted his head to spare her another glance, before he smiled and turned to the camera again. "Can I tell you a secret?" He leaned towards the camera again, muttering in a very low voice. "She's still as cute as before. She gets easily angry as well so...good to know she's still the same. I annoyed her, and her angry face was priceless." That statement, it showed he was well aware of what he did.
He did it intentionally. He annoyed her on purpose.
Stupid man.
Leaning back in his seat, he kept shut for a few seconds, as if thinking of something before his voice came yet again. "She'd probably be even more annoyed when she finds out I annoy her on purpose, right?" He seemed genuinely curious, before he kissed his teeth and waved it off. "Well, whatever will happen, I'm glad to have met her again." As if to prove his point, he tilted the camera so her sleepy face, and his smiling face was in sight. He then waved at the camera. "It's nice meeting you again, my little fool."
Underneath it, a caption, just like earlier displayed itself. Only this time, it was a single statement. One that to Amina held a lot more value than the others.
'It's the same day I felt the wounds deep in my heart start to heal without even realizing it.'
That part of the video ended, before another part instantly played.
This time around, it started just like the other times with a typing format of introduction as well.
THE FOLLOWING EVENTS AFTERWARDS...
It started from the day she asked him to take her out for dinner after exhausting all the money she has. She was walking ahead, enthusiastically without knowing what was to unfold while he strolled behind her. She could hear her voice as she went ahead, ranting about everything and nothing.
He on the other hand only hummed, sounding as though he had no interest in her conversation whatsoever. However, he switched the camera to a selfie form, where he pulled a look that questioned what the hell she was ranting about exactly with an amused smile.
When she seemed to turn around to glance at him, the smile instantly disappeared while he pulled up his poker face, yet again humming dismissively.
The video that followed was that of him being in the hospital, and her typing away on her phone while she worked. It wasn't long, for it lasted a few seconds of it being on her then he switched it to himself, seated on the hospital bed while he made the peace sign before he suddenly frowned. The caption of the video then being 'When you realize she's this nice to other guys as well'.
When the hell did he even record that? She couldn't remember. All she could recall was him being a coward afterwards. He couldn't have possibly acted that way because he was jealous, right?
No, it couldn't be.
From then on, the videos that followed were totally unexpected. From that of their trip to Jeju, he took a video of her interacting with the girls during the barbecue. There was even one from their late night ramen. That, she could vividly remember when he snapped it.
The only difference being, she thought he was taking pictures of the food then. Who would've thought he made a video of her then? The man even dared to add a caption then, it being, 'When she looks so good in your stuff. Take the jacket, beanie, and my heart as well, shortcake. It's yours to keep anyway'.
Aside from wondering how the hell he managed to come up with those captions, Amina couldn't help but notice they were all in snapchat formats. He couldn't have sent those snaps to other people, right? If so, then she's afraid Aahil has ruined her reputation of ever being with someone he knows.
Speaking of which, could that be why the guys kept addressing her as Mrs. Tafida? Did they already know before she did?
That particular video in particular was followed by that of being on the plane yet again—it was their flight back from Jeju to Seoul. Despite it being only an hour flight, Amina had no idea when she began to doze off. And she certainly had no idea how she ended up leaning her head against his shoulder.
Honestly, if it wasn't that obvious in the video, she would've denied it to the ends of the earth. But, there she was, all caught up in the embrace of sleep with her head against his shoulder. One of her ears still had one of her Airpods in it, while the other was in his ear. She remembers being the reason behind that.
'So, we're destined.' He captioned it. 'When you find inner peace in human form.'
What followed afterwards were a few videos of her during the past few weeks, during the photoshoots. It was mostly her interacting with the crew, and a few of her with the guys as well. There was only one of the two of them, and she was aware when it was taken.
In actuality, she was the one that took that one. It was after they'd wrapped up the whole photoshoot, and out of excitement of pulling off such a task, she agreed to take his phone and record a video of the two of them still in their fits before they changed out of it.
They were both smiling at the camera, the first of all the videos actually. She hates to admit it, but they looked happy—because they were genuinely happy then.
What she has no idea how it made it to the video though was the caption. She should've known he would add just that.
'Just snapped our 'How I Met Your Mother' pics to show the kids. Beware, there will be many more to follow In shaa Allah.' This time around, he even added a red heart to it.
That came to an end with a blank screen. And, it remained that way for a few seconds. Just when Amina decided it had come to an end, the last part played.
THE MESSAGE.
The words displayed itself across the screen in a typewriter format as well—followed by the sound as well. With its disappearance, a sit down video of him played. Judging from his environment, she could only guess it's his apartment.
His face sported a small, seemingly nervous smile. He rubbed his hands together, "Okay...how do I start this?" He mumbled to himself, blowing out a small breath.
Amina chuckled. Who would've thought she'd see the day Aahil Tafida gets nervous?
He cleared his throat, pulling his chair closer to the camera before his voice came yet again. "You know what? Screw it. If I mess this up again, I'm sending it like that." He suspired, "This is my nth take on this by the way, but it's my first time doing it also so...don't laugh at me." He narrowed his eyes, almost as if he could see her through the camera.
She could only find herself chuckling at the look he pulled. It eventually died as his voice reached her ears, after he seemed to have composed himself.
"I...uhm..." He rubbed the nape of his neck, before dropping his hand by his side. "I wanted to confess." He admitted, his gaze staring right at the camera—right into her eyes. "I wanted to tell you in person. But, I was scared." His walls seemed to be down at the moment, for she could feel the vulnerability in his tone.
Her heart hammered behind her ribcage upon hearing the word 'confess'. She could feel her breath hitch, the sound of her heartbeat reaching her ears repeatedly.
He continued. "I wanted to tell you after the shoot wraps up, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull it off. So, by the time you're watching this, if I'm not by your side, that could only mean one thing." He paused, his voice dropping. "I'm gone."
If she thought her heart stopped before, then she was sure she was a dead person at that moment the minute that statement reached her ears. Gone? What does he mean gone?
He didn't seem that enthusiastic either. For the first time, she saw what a sad Aahil looks like. She could see the sadness in his eyes, swirling with bits of regret.
"—I fear if I do confess to you, then I wouldn't be able to let you go. Yet again, for the second time in my life, I'm leaving you again—only this time, it's harder than the last."
Though Amina couldn't wrap her head around his words registering in her mind, her eyes had already started to become glossy, which she furiously blinked to hold back—unwilling to let them out.
"—I wanted to quit my job, I thought I no longer needed it. I thought the next time I go back to Manchester; it'll be to finalize it all. But, I realize that would be me giving up something I love easily. I would never want to be the type of person that gives up something, or someone, he loves easily. However, at this moment, I find myself unworthy of being by your side."
What nonsense? Amina wanted to ask. She wanted to see him right in front of her eyes, so she could ask what nonsense he was blabbing about because she can't accept this...whatever it is.
The tears she was trying to hold easily cascaded down her face like waterfalls, her breaths short, and a bit hitched. She tried to hold them back, but it was difficult when her heart was hurting.
It ached even more when his voice came again, registering in her mind.
"—I promise, I'll become a better man and return to you. I'll become someone deserving of you. I'll become a better person, and set my life straight, for you." Become a better person? Amina wanted to scream it to his face that she doesn't need him to become better, she likes him just the way he is. There was no need for whatever he was up to.
He looked down in the video for a brief second, the words seemingly hard for him to utter as well. He sniffed, though there were no tears. His eyes were a light shade of red though, but he still held up a smile as he met her gaze again. "—I dare not confess to you like this, it wouldn't be fair to you. I'll do that when I stand in front of you again. This isn't goodbye, I dare not say the word. But, till I return, I wish you nothing but happiness. I hope you only get the best things life has to offer. I hope you smile more, and you stay safe and out of trouble." His smile widened slightly, though his eyes were glossy as well. "Till we meet again, my little fool. Be sure to remember me though. And you don't, I'll remind you."
The video came to a complete end then, with Amina being a mental wreck. The tears were simply cascading down her face slowly. She took a deep breath, blinking back her tears. She remained seated in her position for a few seconds, unable to react. It was like her mind was paused, and she couldn't think of anything else rather than his words.
However, only a minute afterwards, she pushed her chair back with a loud screech and fetched her phone—heading out immediately.
The hell is he going to leave. She refuse to accept that.