Age: 15
Word count: 1054
Summary: Loosing her twin brother James altered Alena's brain chemistry forever. How will she ever move on without the one person who understood her like no other.
,,Alena what happened?"
Natashas voice sounded muffled and far away to Alena. It was like she had gone into some sort of trance.
The 15 year old redhead studied every inch of the person she knew best in the whole world.
His lifeless face still held the slight smirk he shot Alena, mere seconds before he plummeted to his death.
,,Мне очень жаль, мне очень жаль, О Боже, Джеймс (I'm so sorry, so so sorry, oh god, James)"
She sobbed, her hair hiding her face so all anyone else could hear were her muttered sobs.
Natasha held her daughter, all while staring at her only son, her daughter's twin.
,,It's all my fault, Mama, it's my fault he's dead"
Alena cried, her whole body shaking while she held on to her mother as if her life depended on it.
,,Shh, детка свет, это не твоя вина
(Baby light, it's not your fault)"
Tasha tried comforting the 15 year old girl, her own voice crumbling. The longer she looked at her son's lifeless body, the harder it became for her to be strong.
,,He- I- we never should've gone, he should've just stayed home"
Alena rambled on, her words interrupted by sobs. All this was pure hell.
,,It should've been me, Mama, it should've been me"
That's when all alarms went off in Natashas head.
,,No, don't say that. It shouldn't have been either of you"
She declared, cupping her only daughters face. God; the resemblance to James was painful.
Alena sniffed, her vision blurry. All she could make out were her mothers bright emerald eyes.
Nat brought her into a tight hug, focusing hard on keeping up the strong facade. Although she just lost her son, she couldn't help but feel relieved to have at least one of her children left.
,,Get to the jet. Я позову папу, и мы пойдем домой (I'm gonna get dad and we'll go home)"
She suggested, wiping the 15 year olds tears. Looking into her daughter's eyes, Tasha pressed her lips together to suppress the tears dwelling up.
The younger redhead nodded, but then her gaze wandered to her brother's dead body again.
,,We can't leave him here. Not like this"
Alena sniffled, her eyes still glossy. She had to avert her gaze to something else, because the mere sight of her twin's lifeless form hurt so bad, she couldnt even describe it.
Natasha nodded, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her daughter's ear.
,,Иди, мы закончим через секунду (Go, we'll finish up in a second)"
She whispered, trying to make this easier than it was. Natasha didn’t want to loose her other child as well today.
Alena looked at her, sniffling before getting up. She knew that this was the right thing to do.
So, she went up into the quinjet, sad, angry, beyond broken. She'd lost the person she shared everything with before they were even born.
....
Alena Romanoff-Rogers got out of the car, her black heels hitting the ground at once.
She slammed the door shut, before fixing the knee-long, black dress she wore with one hand, while clutching the bouquet of flowers tighter with the other.
Today was the day she'd been dreading ever since that day, two weeks ago. James's funeral.
To everyone's surprise she had remained composed, hadn't cried much, hadn't screamed and hadn't grieved at all really.
She just ... wasn't ready.
Natasha took great concern to her daughter's behaviour. If she was honest, she hadn't allowed herself to show emotion much either, but she didn't hold back.
There had been countless nights where she just cried in Steve's arms, missing her only son.
Natasha took hold of Alena's hand, silently expressing her comfort. Silently telling her it was OK to cry.
The young redhead met her mother's gaze, eyes glossy for the first time since James died.
,,Mama, I don't think I can do this"
She whispered, her voice breaking halfway through. This hurt more than she thought it would.
Nat stopped walking, nodding to Steve to go ahead already.
,,I know how hard this is, детка свет (Baby light)"
The older redhead admitted, wiping a stray tear from her daughter's cheek.
Alena swatted her Mom's hand away, just moments before completely breaking down in her arms.
,,You don't understand, Mama, this is my twin. He knew me better than anyone"
She sobbed, her voice muffled by the fabric of Natasha's shirt. All she wanted was to see her brother again, to hold him tight and never let go, to tell him she was sorry for every minor argument they ever had.
Natasha held her kid, blinking away her own tears. She needed to be strong for her, even though she herself felt like shit.
,,It's alright to cry, милая девушка (sweet girl)"
She soothed, cupping Alena's face and kissing her forehead,
,,You're so strong, детка (baby), stronger than anyone I know"
Alena nodded, sniffing and wiping her tears.
,,I miss him"
She admitted, probably for the first time since his death. For some reason, it felt good to admit that. Maybe it was the first step to healing, maybe it brought her comfort, maybe, just maybe she would be OK.
,,Let's put him to rest, моя сильная девочка (my strong girl)"
Natasha whispered, clutching her daughter's hand tight.
Alena knew this would bring her the closure she needed, but right now all it did was hurt. But deep down she knew that her brother had never left her and he never would either.
He would always be right there with her, in her heart.
A/N: Because i promised and so many people wanted the part 2, here you gooo, Alena suffering :,)
Anyways, I'm taking my last Spanish exam for the year in about 6 hours and I am definitely not prepared. But, I did the math and even if this one doesn't go well, I'll still get 11-12 points on my report card (that's around a B+ or a 2+, so still good)
OK, that's it from my part, hope you enjoyed, have a great day/night and stay amazing, Beautiful people <33