☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ:✧⋆.:･ﾟ✧.: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ☾
Naeun's POV,
I arrived at the house Taemin had rented out right after wrapping up my work for the day. Taemin had forwarded the house details as soon as Joonwoon sealed the deal with the rentor. Although we had discussed a few things through calls and texts, we hadn't agreed on much. For now, the only thing we had agreed on was that I wouldn't have to fully settle down at the rented house and it would be temporary.
Entering the house with the passcode Taemin had shared via text, I was sure he and Joonwoon had come and take a look at the house before allowing me to come. Since my plan was just to drop by, I hadn't packed any clothes yet. I wanted to observe the house situation before deciding what to bring and what to leave behind. The house turned out to be bigger than I expected, but I reminded myself that this would only be for a while, though I wasn't sure how Taemin and I would navigate things from here.
As I explored the house, my phone vibrated, displaying Joonwoon's name on the screen. Answering the call, I greeted, "Hey Joonwoon," with a mixture of curiosity and anticipation in my voice.
"Hey there. Taemin asked me to check up on you. Are you currently at the house?" Joonwoon inquired, referring to the rented house.
"Yeah, I'm still looking around. Planning to leave in about half an hour. Haven't brought any clothes with me yet," I replied, my tone reflecting a hint of uncertainty.
"Alright, no rush then! Taemin wanted me to ask if you're planning to bring your clothes today or tomorrow?" Joonwoon's voice was calm and reassuring over the line.
Contemplating for a moment, I glanced around the house. "I think I can start bringing in clothes to the house by tonight so I could settle everything by tomorrow," I decided, feeling a sense of readiness creeping in.
"Okay, then! I will let Taemin know," Joonwoon said.
"Thank you, Joonwoon, for your help," I expressed my gratitude before we both bid our farewells, and he ended the call.
Taking another look around the house, I observed the furnishings that had already been arranged. There wasn't much for me to do, considering I wouldn't be staying here for too long. Still, the idea of making the space feel more like home lingered in my mind, prompting thoughts of potential decorations and personal touches.
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃
After packing both Yongrae's and my belongings from my house, I returned to the rented house, deciding to spend the night there. A part of me couldn't shake the feeling that Taemin would find any excuse to visit. Despite my reluctance to admit it, the idea of not being alone was oddly comforting, though I would never admit that aloud in front of him.
I busied myself with arranging my clothes in the wardrobe. Each hanger clicked softly against the metal rod as I hung up my clothes, organizing them meticulously by color. It felt strangely therapeutic, the rhythmic motion of folding and hanging helping to ease the lingering tension from the day.
Moving on to my belongings, I carefully placed them in the drawers and on the shelves, each item finding its own niche within the space. With each fold and placement, a sense of accomplishment washed over me, mingling with the exhaustion that had settled deep into my bones. Finally, as I settled onto the bed, surrounded by the familiar sight of my belongings now adorning the room, a soft smile graced my lips. It wasn't much, but it was a start.
As I glanced at my phone, Taemin's message caught my eye, pulling me back to the present moment. "Are you free now?" his words read, sparking a curious anticipation within me.
"Just had a moment to catch my breath. What's up?" I replied, my fingers hovering over the screen as I waited for his response.
"Have you had your dinner?" his message read.
"Not yet," I responded simply, expecting his usual follow-up question.
His message appeared on the screen, catching me off guard with its unexpectedness, causing my heart to skip a beat. "I'm on my way," he wrote, and suddenly, the exhaustion of the day seemed to lift, replaced by a flutter of excitement and anticipation that I shouldn't be feeling.
A surge of conflicting emotions washed over me as I absorbed his words. Despite the flutter of excitement that stirred within me at the prospect of Taemin's visit, there was also a sense of unease, a reluctance to acknowledge the depth of what I was feeling.
With each passing second, the anticipation grew, mingling with a subtle sense of denial that whispered in the back of my mind. It was as if I were caught in a tug-of-war between the thrill of his impending arrival and the desire to resist the undeniable pull of my emotions. Yet, despite my attempts to quell the rising tide of anticipation, I couldn't deny the subtle warmth that spread through me at the thought of seeing him.
I quickly stood from the bed, the anticipation driving me to action. After taking a refreshing shower and changing into fresh clothes, I stepped out of the room, expecting to hear the doorbell any moment. However, as I turned the corner, lost in my thoughts, I bumped into something unexpectedly, causing us both to startle.
"Taemin! You scared me," I exclaimed, a mixture of surprise and amusement in my voice. Despite the initial shock, a smile crept onto my face at the sight of him, the warmth of his presence melting away any lingering unease.
"Sorry! I called you, but you didn't answer me. I was scared to wait for too long in the hallway," Taemin explained, his voice tinged with a hint of relief. I could sense him feeling uneasy at being seen by others while waiting.
"I was taking a shower just now. Didn't know you would arrive this fast," I said as I made my way to the living room, feeling more at ease in his company. "Where's Joonwoon?" I inquired, curious about his whereabouts.
"He said he has better things to deal with," Taemin shrugged nonchalantly. "I brought chicken, by the way!" he added, lifting the food from the table and showing it off with a playful grin.
"Hm? But we're not drinking, right?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I glanced at him. We both knew that chicken and beer made the perfect pair. He shook his head, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I bought soft drinks for us instead."
"Cool! Because you're driving," I remarked, nodding in approval.
"Oh? Did you worry about me just now?" he asked cheekily, a teasing lilt to his voice. "No. Stop dreaming," I replied firmly, avoiding his gaze.
"But I did buy some if you feel like having them. I also picked up a few fruits and groceries because I know the house is pretty empty when it comes to food," Taemin added, his tone softening as he shifted his attention to the bags of groceries.
"I was thinking of going to the store tomorrow to grab groceries, but there's no rush," I remarked casually, my voice tinged with a sense of relaxation as I considered my plans for the next day.
As Taemin began to unwrap the food and set it out on the table, I nodded in agreement. "Let me grab some glasses," I offered, making my way to the kitchen with the intention of fetching glasses for our drinks.
As I searched through the cabinets, a sense of frustration began to creep in. Despite my efforts, I couldn't find any glasses or cups. "Can you find them?" Taemin's question pulled me from my thoughts.
With each empty cabinet I encountered, my frustration grew. "Still looking," I called out from the kitchen, my voice tinged with exasperation.
Taemin joined me, his presence offering a sense of camaraderie in our shared struggle. "I can't find them. I don't think they have any," I admitted, a note of defeat creeping into my voice.
"I checked that day. They have it," Taemin said, trying to reassure me. "Then why can't I find it?" I added, my patience wearing thin.
Taemin's light-hearted response eased some of the tension. "Why are you getting mad when it's you who can't find it?" he said, his chuckle filling the air.
As I opened the cabinet door above, I spotted the glasses stored out of reach. Despite my efforts to retrieve them myself, Taemin leaned in to help. His presence close behind me sent a jolt of awareness through me, the warmth of his breath on the back of my neck causing shivers to run down my spine. Our fingers brushed momentarily as he reached past me.
For a moment, time seemed to stand still as we lingered in that intimate proximity, the air thick with unspoken tension. When Taemin retrieved the glasses and handed them to me, our eyes met briefly, a silent exchange passing between us. I quickly looked away, thanking him for the glasses and hurrying to the table, eager to break the palpable tension that hung in the air.
Outside, the noise of the bustling city seemed to grow louder, the sounds of cars honking and people talking filtering in through the window. I did my best to distract myself from the awkwardness of the moment. "Let's eat!" I exclaimed, taking a seat at the table and motioning for Taemin to join me.
Taemin sat across from me, his expression carefully neutral as he helped with the plates. "Let's eat," he echoed, his tone mirroring mine as we both attempted to move past the awkwardness of the moment and enjoy our meal together.
In an attempt to shake off the lingering tension, I reached for a beer, hoping it would help ease the unease I felt. Popping open the can, I took a long sip, only to be met with Taemin's amused gaze. "I'm not driving," I quipped defensively.
He shrugged, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "Sure, you're not driving," he teased, his hand reaching for another can of beer which he promptly opened and took a swig from.
His nonchalant attitude caught me off guard, and I couldn't help but bulge my eyes in disbelief. "Taemin, you're driving," I insisted, my concern evident in my tone. "I know. It's just one can of beer. I can handle it," he reassured, though his words did little to ease my worries.
As time passed by, we were able to finish the food. I tried to break the silence as thoughts started to creep into my mind. Whatever Mrs. Shen said to me began to weigh on me, especially now that we finally had the time to talk. I began, "Mrs. Shen told me about it already."
Taemin furrowed his brows, clearly puzzled. "What is this about?"
"Mrs. Shen told me your parents helped with the job I got. When she mentioned it, I had no idea what happened back then. Most probably because it was initially supposed to be kept a secret but..." I trailed off, uncertainty clouding my words. "I don't know. Mrs. Shen probably thought it wasn't fair for me to not know about this."
Taemin seemed taken aback, taking a sip from his beer before responding, "It should have been kept as a secret." He let out a long, heavy sigh. "I told my parents that I got us into trouble. So, that's the only thing I could think of, especially since you were so insistent on keeping Yongrae." He explained.
"But you—" I began to argue, but Taemin cut me off. "That was the only option I saw. The least I could do. I couldn't just back off from the group lineup, but that doesn't mean I didn't worry about you. I just thought cutting off contact was the best way for both of us."
"But now I realize that wasn't the best way, especially considering where we are now. I regret it a lot," Taemin admitted with a somber tone.
"So, you've known Mrs. Shen for a long time?" I inquired.
Taemin nodded. "Through my parents, yes. But I'm not close to her. She didn't reveal any news about you, nor did my parents," he added.
"Fine. If you really cared about me during those times, what about Yooa?" I blurted out, feeling the effects of the beer as random words tumbled from my lips.
Taemin chuckled at my sudden outburst. "That absolutely didn't happen. Yooa was just a junior of mine," he reassured, injecting a hint of humor into his response. "And how about Jihoon?" He pressed on.
"He's just a friend. Like a brother," I affirmed.
"See?" Taemin quipped, a playful glint in his eyes.
"At least we don't have a—" I paused, the realization dawning on me before I could finish my sentence. We both shared a rumor about dating, a fact that hung between us, unspoken yet understood.
He chuckled, breaking the tension. "See? Not all news is accurate, and not everyone who's rumored to have dated actually has."
"You've asked your question. Now let me ask mine," Taemin said, his tone turning serious. I nodded, signaling my readiness for whatever he had on his mind.
"Why are you afraid of letting Yongrae know I'm his dad?" Taemin's question caught me off guard, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions within me.
I took a sip from the can of beer, the cool liquid offering a brief respite from the intensity of our conversation. "Because the dreams I had always portrayed me hating him. But deep down, I know I could never hate him," I admitted, my voice tinged with vulnerability.
"Why refer to 'him' when the person you're talking about is right in front of you?" Taemin questioned, his gaze searching mine for answers.
"The 'him' I speak of isn't the one standing here now. That was years ago. The person you loved then is not who I am anymore. We've both changed, Taemin," I explained, my words heavy with the weight of our shared history.
Taemin took another sip from his beer, his expression thoughtful. "But I still care about you. I still keep your picture in my wallet, and the places we visited together still remind me of you," he confessed, his words stirring up a mixture of emotions within me.
"Of course, there are lingering feelings. We didn't date for just a day or a month. It was years," I reasoned, attempting to make sense of the complex emotions swirling between us.
"Then?" Taemin's question hung in the air, heavy with anticipation.
"The situation forced us to change, Taemin. We have different priorities now. We're not the same people we were years ago," I reminded him, the weight of my words settling over us like a shroud of truth. We are not who we are years ago, indeed.
"Then, we can change for the better," Taemin reasoned, his voice soft yet determined. His optimism clashed with my own uncertainty, leaving me torn between hope and unease.
I looked at him, uncertainty clouding my features as I struggled to find the right words. Could we really change for the better? Was it possible to reclaim what we once had?
"But I'm happy where I am now," I reasoned, though the conviction in my voice wavered. Taemin's gaze bore into mine, searching for the truth beneath my words.
"Are you?" he pressed, his tone gentle yet insistent. His question pierced through my defenses, forcing me to confront the truth of my own feelings.
"Because I'm not, Naeun," Taemin confessed, his vulnerability mirrored in the depths of his gaze.
I hesitated, grappling with the conflicting emotions swirling within me. He added, "Yes, I'm more than happy to have Yongrae here. I'm grateful for the time I get to spend with him. But do I wish for better things? Absolutely," He admitted, the words heavy with longing and uncertainty.
"I don't mind even if it's not easy. Nothing is easy, anyways. But for us to go through this, only for both of you to end up hurting in the end, I can't bear to see that, Naeun," Taemin confessed, his voice tinged with a mixture of determination and apprehension.
"Then don't. We don't have to go through this," I replied, my voice soft yet resolute. The thought of enduring more pain and heartache was unbearable, and I couldn't bear to see any of us suffer any further.
"Even if I could turn back time, I would never undo us. If anything, you were the one who kept me alive years ago, Naeun. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you," Taemin confessed, his words heavy with emotion and sincerity, hanging in the air like an unspoken promise.
His confession stirred something deep within me, a bittersweet reminder of the bond we shared and the impact we had on each other's lives. And I would not be here too if it's not because of you. But my pride holds me back from admitting it.
"Then, what do you want me to do? I am barely figuring out how I should handle things from here," I admitted, surrendering to the weight of uncertainty. Unbeknownst to me, tears began to well up, betraying the fragile facade I had been trying to maintain. "I am barely holding everything in, Taemin."
Taemin's expression softened with concern, his sober demeanor a stark contrast to his usual self. "Naeun, come here," he said gently, enveloping me in a comforting hug. Despite my resistance, his embrace broke through the walls of my vulnerability, offering a solace I didn't know I needed. As much as I longed for the moment to end, there was a part of me that wished it could last forever.
+