I need to be in love by The Carpenters (Male Cover)
https://youtu.be/kjsDjp0Q3Zw
Xander's POV.
While Cliff went to pick us up some lunch I headed over to the Music Wing. I was surprised to see Nessie was talking to River and Julian in one of the booths.
I wondered what they were talking about. I imagined it would be about the night that River had entrapped Mervyn. I hadn't spoken to him much since then as we didn't want us to be linked to what happened.
Discovering that night that River had gone to great lengths to protect Julian from being fucked by Mervyn had astonished me. Their friendship must be so strong for him to be willing to prevent Julian's sexuality from being made known. The video I saw of Julian on Toad's phone would be very damning if it was ever made public. I just hoped that Toad didn't have any of them backed up elsewhere.
I still wasn't sure if River was actually gay or not. He had only ever inferred he was. I know he had said he wouldn't mind sucking Cliff off but thought that might be just to convince me to help him.
Gay or straight? It really didn't matter as I couldn't believe that someone would do what he had done to protect a friend. I knew they were roommates but it was still a really impressive thing for him to have done.
Julian's secret was one that I would be definitely keeping, along with the secret of every boy that I had seen images of on Toad's phone and in his Dropbox. Even the identities of boys expressing homophobic views that secretly indulged in swallowing another boy's DNA.
By deleting the master file that I still had would ensure that. I just needed Nessie's approval first. It would have to wait so I walked back to meet up with Cliff.
As I entered the main building, boys were running through the corridors.
"There's going to be a fight between the rugby team in the refectory!" I heard one boy yell out to another as they passed each other.
I saw Bradley and Leo enter ahead of me just as I arrived and cautiously walked in and stood to one side by the door.
I saw Cliff take a step towards another boy as if he was threatening him. It was Markus Young. A known associate of Toad's that had enjoyed verbally abusing me whenever the opportunity arose. In one way I hoped Cliff would punch his lights out but in another hoped he didn't as he would be in trouble.
"Markus?" I heard Cliff say as he moved closer to him, eyeballing him. "Tell me this..... What does me being gay have to do with playing rugby? You were happy to have me playing alongside you before there was any talk of my sexuality......, so what's changed?"
"I'm not the only one who won't feel comfortable being in the changing rooms or showers with you queer fucker being around!" Markus answered back.
"You need to grow up. Do you really think I'm going to jump you?" Cliff replied. I was pleased to see that he hadn't lashed out with his fists. "Well! I have news for you.... you are not my type. I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested in anyone else......"
"And we all know who that is don't we?" Markus interrupted him. "Alexander Morgan! Our very own resident fairy. Trevor was right about you two all along. Being roomed with him was so convenient, wasn't it?"
I was just about to make my presence known and challenge Markus when Cliff answered him. "It's up to you Markus.... If you, or anyone else, don't want to play in the same team as me then you'll just have to find another team, won't you?"
What the fuck? Why didn't Cliff say something? How could he let Markus say that without answering.
I stood, dumbfounded, as Bradley waded in with Leo in support.
As Markus passed me he pushed me out of his way. "You fucking rice eating queer!" He hissed and then spat in my face as he left the room.
I wasn't shocked by the verbal abuse. It was the fact that he had spat at me that had stunned me.
"So who is it.....? Who's your boyfriend?" The question distracted me from the mixed emotions that I was desperately trying to contain and understand.
"Does it matter?" Cliff's dismissive answer cut through me like a hot knife through butter. I knew I really loved him and at that moment it mattered to me. I needed to hear him admit, out loud to everyone present, that he really loved me.
Cliff was suddenly standing in front of me. "How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to hear you being honest and owning up to who you really are...., and long enough to know that I was foolish to think that you would ever own up to loving someone like me!" I could feel myself losing control. I felt like bursting into tears as my thoughts were being pulled in all directions. I knew I unequivocally loved him. I needed to be loved, unequivocally, in return. Was it wrong to seek the perfect love in such an imperfect world? Was I being foolish to think that's what I had found?
I turned away to leave the room.
He dropped the sandwiches and snatched at my arm, stopping me from leaving. He pulled me into a hug. "If you want me to come out and publicly say I love you, I will," he said quietly in my ear. "It wasn't my place to out you. If I had known you were there I would have looked to you for your approval first."
I wasn't aware of the crowd that had gathered around us until I heard Leo cough.
Cliff instantly pulled out of our embrace. "Sorry guys.... I could tell Xander was upset by what Markus said."
"Wouldn't you guys be better off making up in your room?" Bradley quietly suggested. "Not sure your secret is a secret anymore."
Cliff looked at me and smiled. It was a smile that answered all my doubts and fears. It was the smile of someone who really loved and understood me. The smile of someone that was prepared to publicly acknowledge that love and was ready to face whatever challenges being in a same sex relationship might bring.
I smiled back.
"Benedict?" Cliff called out as he twisted his head to look at the crowd around him. "You asked me who my boyfriend was earlier. It's Xander. Alexander Morgan. I take it that you don't have a problem with that?"
🍞🥚🥞🍖🍔🍟🍕🍤🥖🧀🥓🍗🌭🥙🍣
During early evening Prep I walked with Cliff as we followed Bradley and Leo down the stairs and outside to the waiting, chauffeur driven, burgundy coloured Range Rover Elite in the car park.
Their suspension had not been rescinded. They were suspended until the new term began after Christmas. Not as severe as permanently being excluded but severe enough to reflect the seriousness of the assault on Toad, Kasper and Fabian.
It was all because they had glued the Gruesome Threesome together in a sexual way, otherwise they would have just been given a detention like us. They seemed happy enough with the decision and had admitted privately to us that they had been a bit excessive with some of their actions, although glueing Kasper's and Fabian's forefingers up their own arses had given them immense satisfaction.
We had heard that Dickie had been invited to resign and the news that a new coach, with international playing experience had already been appointed, had thrilled us all. I was shocked when I learnt that it was a close friend of Cliff's dad and that Cliff's dad had recommended him to Jock when he had dropped us back at school after half term.
From the subsequent telephone call Cliff had with him he explained that Jock was only too happy to be rid of Dickie once he had a suitable replacement.
We all speculated as to how safe Jock's position was as headmaster after his poor handling of the situation regarding Trevor and the compromising images, but that was something we would never really know.
Leo and Bradley had already said their farewells to their friends and I had felt very special when they had asked us both to walk with them to the car.
"I wish you had let me have a quiet word with Markus," Bradley remarked as the chauffeur put his bags in the boot. "He better not spit at you again or else he'll find himself with a couple broken legs next time we have a game."
"He won't do or say anything to me again. I put the wind right up him....."
"Actually Xander's put the wind right up quite a few boys here." Cliff interrupted.
I chuckled. "Yeah! We had Zane remind Markus that I possibly still had compromising images on my computer and wouldn't hesitate in using them."
"You wouldn't, though would you?" Bradley sounded unsure. "That would make you no better than Harrington."
"I thought you were going to delete them, anyway?" Leo added, looking worried.
"The file will be destroyed as soon as Nessie says it's okay to do so. It might be needed if Toad ever makes a legal challenge. The images are in a safe place and no one can access them......, but no one here needs to know that."
"You saying that you have images of Markus in that file?" Leo asked.
"I will not confirm one way or the other if any boy is in that file but I'm quite happy in suggesting that homophobic morons like him might be."
"Don't panic!" Cliff said as he patted Leo on the shoulder. "We'll keep a very low profile until you guys get back. What he means is we get others to suggest that there are images of him even if there's not. It's like accusing him of being guilty by association. Mud sticks doesn't it? Xander knows all about that."
"Shit!" Leo exclaimed, as he play-punched me on the shoulder. "I'm so glad that I'm friends with you."
"Me too!" Bradley added. "My parents and mates back home are going to wonder what the hell's going on when they find out that I'm close friends with an outwardly gay couple at school."
Leo playfully tapped Bradley on the top of the head. "I'm telling you now Bradders....! I'm going to slap any of your mates that accuse me of being your boyfriend."
Bradley pretended to try and kiss him and a mock chase around the car ensued.
"Well you two," Bradley said as he came back and stood in front of us. "See you in a few weeks then? Be good..., and I don't want to learn that there's a little CliffXander on the way...."
".....Or a XanderCliff either?" Leo added teasingly.
Cliff laughed as he held out a fist for Bradley to bump.
"Fuck no!" Bradley swore, as he swiped the fist to one side, pulling him into a bear hug. "You look after each other.... Okay. There's boys looking out of the windows watching us right now so there's no mistaking that we are friends. Heaven help any one of them who dares to give you grief."
As Leo then hugged Cliff. Bradley pulled me into a hug. "I'm proud for everyone to see that you're a friend of mine too."
"I second that." Leo added as he too hugged me. "Shows you how wrong you can be about someone, doesn't it?"
I felt tearful as we waved them goodbye. Both of them were hanging out the back windows of the car, waving madly, as they passed through the school gates.
It was being called a friend that had affected me. I hadn't had a proper friend at school since Ashton. Now I had a boyfriend and was friends with two great guys like Bradley and Leo. I had renewed old friendships with Roland and Jacob and I think that I had made a new friend in River. I felt sure that I would make many more.
As I walked back towards the main entrance with Cliff I gently brushed my hand against his. "I can't wait for it to be Christmas."
Cliff stopped and looked at me. "Neither can I and yes I have thought about everything you said and nothing is out of the question."
"You mean that?"
"Absolutely. I love you Xander and I want to prove it."
"Do you want to spend it with me in Pembroke?" I asked, hoping he would say yes as I knew we would make good use of the privacy that the music studio provided.
"Yes! But we will have to spend time with my parents too. They both said today they were looking forward to seeing us both again."
"Okay. You're on. Roll on Christmas."
As we walked back into the school, I stopped and looked up at the school's motto, situated above the main entrance in big, bold, golden letters. For the first time the words in latin, Amicitias formatur est hodie permanere et usque in sempiternum, actually meant something to me.
Cliff stood beside me. "You're brilliant at Latin.... What does it mean?"
I turned my head to look at him. "Friendships formed today will continue forever."
He gave a wry smile. "Could it though.....? You know...., us....? The way we're feeling now.... Could it be forever?"
I giggled. I know he was being sweet and romantic but a song I liked had just popped into my head.
"What's so funny about that?"
I started to sing it as I moved away from him, as if I was dancing. I spun around, making sweeping gestures with my arms that matched the words.
"Could it be forever
Or is my mind just rambling on
Touched you once, kissed you once
Now I feel like you're mine."
Cliff shook his head and chuckled as he followed me into the vestibule. I continued to sing and dance.
"Well, I feel like you're mine
And seeing your face
I'm not wrong to have these feelings.
Well, I feel like you're mine
Never known a time before
Thats had so many meanings.....
Could it be forever.....?"
"You're crazy......, you know that, don't you?" Cliff said as he stopped me from spinning around.
"Yes! But so are you," I answered breathlessly, "or you wouldn't have embarked on this mad journey with me."
"I didn't have much choice, did I? Even though you built that bleeding monstrosity of a wall, you still had me at hello!"
Author's Note ✍🏽
Music Video mentioned in this chapter:-
Could it be forever by David Cassidy
https://youtu.be/hbtL3c7Cq0g
N.B. Copyright-protected. People in some countries can't watch this video.
Sadly this is the end but thank you for taking the time to read my book.
I hope you liked T's pictures and the music we selected.
M xx ❤️❤️
💘❤️👨🏻🎓The End👨🏽🎓❤️💘