Kevin and I haven't exactly had a normal conversation since we left Lola. We came back to a very empty house, while it is very unusual for the house to feel so empty, it's actually nice. I mean it's not exactly noisy since there's only three of us in this whole mansion, the void of Storm not being here is noticeable. Jasmine and him will come back later today so we have this place to ourselves.
For hours..
Kevin and I are alone for hours...
"You want to watch something or?" I ask when he comes back downstairs from changing his clothes.
He changed from his workwear to a white T-shirt and grey sweat shorts. His body fits the t-shirt perfectly and so does his short. I haven't seen his legs in a long time and it's mostly because he is not a short wearing person. Honestly, everything on his body is hot but the sweat-shorts are even hotter.
"I haven't slept for over 24 hours but I'm not sleepy." His Marge body plops on the sofa right next to me. "I want to spend time with you, you know since we haven't been this alone in a while." He says pulling me closer to him and gives me a soft kiss.
"I'm not against that." I smile against his lips as I run my hands in his silky soft blonde hair.
We don't say any more words after as his eyes started to rake my face. Scanning every feature as if he can't get enough seeing the same face everyday. He is looking at me so intensely it feels familiar. The look of adoration, the concentration and the hand movement on my body whilst I do the same with my hands still in his hair. I notice his brown eyes are lighter than of a normal person with brown eyes. They have a yellow-ish color and they are glistening, it looks so magical.
He's beautiful, it's like I almost forgot his beauty because of the change of feelings my pregnancy gave me. One minute I hated his existence, the next, it's only his existence I needed. Gosh pregnancy is exhausting.
"I love you." I find myself whispering the words out without thinking. I didn't expect myself to say the words but I did and I mean it. I mean it because they are random and I just felt like I had to tell him.
"I love you too baby." He replies lower than his usual voice that it was almost inaudible. My chest heats and my body turns into mush it's by hearing that. He loves me. He's never said that and I never said it too but now, it feels so really.
Our lips meet each other once more, in soft savored movements but it does not the least feel enough so I pull him closer and he does the same with me. The next thing we know the kiss deepens and now it feels more needing and demanding. His tongue dances with my own, I am tasting every single inch of him and he tastes like a donut he just ate a few moments ago at lunch. Like good a sweet chocolate. I love chocolate, just like I love him.
Pulling each other still doesn't feel enough for me, I want him as close as possible heck, my body is on fire aching for his touch. It's aching for him to cool it down with his magical hands. Which is why I eagerly pull him into me when he pushes my body gently onto the couch. My back meets the soft surface, the kiss never breaking as I wiggle and hold on to him as much as I can.
The feel of something warm and hard against my leg is all my body needs for me to release the needy moan just from the idea that all of that could be inside me right now. I need him inside me, I am fucking horny I swear I start to see stars. A groan escapes him as his lower body starts to rub against my own, his large hands grip my hips to move in syncs with his. We're basically dry humping right now. These clothes need to come off.
My hands move from his hair to his neck, my left hand wastes no time to roam on his chest fisting and tugging onto his Tshirt. He breaks the kiss and moves them to my jaw, his hips never stopping the movement and with the way he's moving them, he's reminding me just how mind-blowing it feels to have him fuck me and I haven't done that in so long.
His neck kisses, gosh I remember them and he's reminding me of how skillfully he can use that tongue of his, just as he is using it right now making me release soft moans from every lick and every suck of my skin. I want him so badly right now. It's minutes before I vocalize that thought.
Which is why my hand tugs and moved lower to his hips, holding the hem of his tshirt and as I am about to pull the thing and rid of it , the doorbell rings urging us to immediately halt.
We are breathing hard as we look at each other again, the list in his eyes is as evident as the one I'm sure my eyes are holding. The doorbell rings again making him grunt and lay his head on my chest. I chuckle at him brushing his hair softly, I know it's pretty frustrating because whoever that is just ruined our moment.
"Go get the door." I say attempting to push off his large body that doesn't even budge. Damn how much does this guy weigh?
"If it's Julien I swear I'm gonna file a restraining order against him for harassment." He mumbles as he heads out of the living room.
As soon as he is out of view, my mind returns from the high of his magical hands and body against mine. A horrifying thought passes my mind as soon as I'm left alone with my silly mind. Holy shit! I almost had sex with him! It hasn't even been a month since I gave birth. I mean I doubt he was gonna let it go further which is why he didn't rip out my clothes like he would before but I was more than willing to. And the worst part is that he was going to see my ugly body.
The thoughts immediately make me take the blanket off of the couch and cover myself with it as if it'll change or hide anything.
"Where is she??! Fiona!" I hear the screams of Peppa making me turn to the entrance to see a raging Peppa looking like she just came back from work.
"Uh.. what's wrong with you?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows.
"Men! Men are what's wrong with me." She doesn't come to me immediately because she makes a trip to the kitchen and comes back with a packet of grapes. "They are all jerks because I'm fresh from college now they act like I have so little experience! Those dicks!" She continues as soon as she returns to plop right next to me. Where I want Kevin to be.
"Is she always like this?" Kevin asks settling next to me, I chuckle shrugging my shoulders.
"She's more mad than she is Peppa." I reply attempting to take a grape out of Peppa's packet. Keyword: attempt. Peppa snatches the grapes away from me looking at me like I'm the crazy one, she just took those out of our fridge.
I notice the ghost smile on Kevin's face at the memory. I remember him asking Peppa about me the same question and she gave him a similar reply.
"I'm right here you know!" She exclaims taking our attention.
"What happened?"
"Men at work look down on me. To make matters worse, Mr Choi won't stop treating me like his PA whenever the PA isn't available because it's his cousin and he has some right to disappear apparently." She starts to explain. My body goes rigid at the mention of Greyson Choi because the last time I checked she told me not to tell him about that. "Now some women think he's flirting with me!"
"Referring to him as Mr Choi will always sound foreign. He's just Greyson." Kevin comments successfully stealing a grape before he disappears to the kitchen also.
My eyes notice something that my mind or my heart put at the back of my head. Far away from the more logical thoughts because it's stupid. It's just grapes.
Wait he knows? She didn't tell me she told him, also when did she tell him? A jolt of pain shoots straight into my chest and suddenly it starts to burn. The burn isn't the same as the one from when I was needing him to take me in our couch. I know that sickening feeling. Jealousy. I feel jealous and I start have doubts about myself. Doubts I've never ever had before in my life. I mean obviously they should still talk like they used to.
"Why don't you just report them?" I continue the conversation.
"She said she can't because then people would think they are actually together or something." Kevin replies first, returning with a packet of chips in his hands.
"You guys talked about this before?"
"Well yeah, he's my second bestie now, sorry." She says playfully. I try to act like it doesn't bother me when I give a gentle smile to her joke. At least I hope it's a joke.
"Oh." Is all I have to say. It's all I can think of at the moment. Or it's just all I can vocalize because I'm thinking about a million things at once.
"So, how are you gonna deal with this situation then?" I decide to continue the conversation and not let my mind wander too much.
I guess I thought I was okay with knowing they just kissed but they said they don't have feelings for each other. I was lying, mostly to myself. Now all of a sudden I'm comparing myself, trying to see if something is wrong with me that my boyfriend kissed my friend. I mean, do I lack something? Or is because I'm a mother that I stopped being attractive enough to be enough for him. Maybe it's because I haven't given him sex for.. almost a year? Yeah, I just have to do better. I'll try to do better.
Of course I'm not gonna start looking at my friend as competition because I have no reason to and that's an insecure mind. But right now, it looks like an insecure mind is exactly what I have. I hurts.
But then again, the situation does make me wonder about myself. Maybe I'm not pretty enough anymore, I do have some eyes bags from the lack of sleep after all. Maybe it's my body, Peppa has a body most people love and mine got completely ruined when I gave birth.
I hate this.
I hate this feeling because I never had it before and now it hurts so much.
Hours pass as the three of us talk as we usually used to. Before we know it, it is almost night time and I have cooking started dinner already. Apparently Peppa had an early day so she left work during lunch because Greyson Choi had to leave the office which means less work for her. It's funny how she is still new to the job and already the CEO has taken an interest in her. I guess her résumé was that good. I don't doubt it though, we used to study together and she knows what she's talking about.
Jasmine enters the kitchen holding a very non sleepy boy in her arms. Her brown hair is a mess but he looks very bright and happy, prior to what we disaster is going on with her.
"Being a mom is fucking hard!" She seethes giving me my baby. He smiles at me.
Oh my goodness I did not know I needed that smile. He looks like he had a blast whereas her aunt didn't. Oh to be a three week old baby surrounded by love and people who constantly want a turn in holding you. Wait, that last part came out wrong.
"Hey, you chose to babysit." I reply leaving the very hot and dangerous parts of the kitchen.
"I'll finish up for you baby." Kevin says giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"I'll finish up for you baby." Jasmine mocks, her imitation of his voice is actually kinda good. "I will go to sleep until I feel refreshed. Maybe even call Aubrey." She continues.
"You need to be in an actual relationship." Peppa comments.
"Nope! I'm good." She says before she leaves the room.
Aubrey is her current "situationship". Apparently, Kevin isn't the only one who doesn't do relationships in this family. I mean at least he does it monogamously unlike Jasmine who can have more than one pleasure partners, simply because she can and she is always traveling. She is bisexual which leaves her with a lot of options.
"I guess I better go." Peppa suddenly says packing up her purse and car keys.
"Wait but I cooked!"
"Sorry, I want to use this day of freedom for a deep sleep. Byeee baby boy." She says kissing Storm in my arms. He responds with a little cute baby laugh. "Byee baby daddy! I'll call you when I get home."
And with that she left. Did she just call him baby daddy? No no I'm just being paranoid it's a stupid nickname.
I definitely space out when he starts speaking however. I find myself leaving and I end up in the living room again. I put on some cartoons to watch with Stormy. At least let me distract myself. This is just insecurity talking, it's nothing.
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Hey little bookworms, hope you're liking the book so far!