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credit to : uoru1_juju on twitter
FEW HOURS LATER.
You stepped out of the shower, fresh and all clean. You took extra care getting ready for Choso, hoping that this time, things would be different. The past few days had been a whirlwind of emotions, and you wished that things are going to be finally fine between you. You heart pounded with anticipation.
You made your way to the living room, the scent of Choso's cigarette smoke wafting in from the balcony. You saw him standing there, his back to you, and a cloud of smoke around him. You wanted to run to him, wrap your arms around him and tell him how much he was handsome.
But when Choso turned to see you, his expression was far from what you expected.
His eyes narrowed as he noticed you.
He gestured angrily towards the plane tickets, in his hand. You completely forgot about these.
"I found these, he scoffed, You were planning to leave without even telling me?"
– Choso, it's not what you think. I got those tickets before we... before we found our way back to each other, you tried to explain, guilty."
His frowned even more, and he took a long drag from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke slowly.
"So, what? You still had one foot out the door, ready to run the moment things got difficult?, he retorted.
– No, it's not like that!, you protested. I planned this trip before, when I thought... It was over, your voice was rising in desperation."
Choso shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping him. You looked at him as he quickly stubbed out his cigarette.
You came closer, hesitantly and tried to touch him but he rejected your hand. Eyes wide, you tried to keep your calm.
"I am fed up. I am fucking fool to love a girl like you..., he let out, desperate.
– Are you serious ?, you said, hurt."
At the same time, his phone started to buzz. He ignored it but it kept buzzing and ringing.
"I have nothing to do in New York anymore, it's normal for me to go back to my family, you admitted.
– Your family ?, he scoffed with a bitter smile."
For a moment he stopped talking and you looked at him, waiting for his next move but instead, he took his phone out of his pocket to answer his texts.
"We are having a discussion and you look at your phone ?, you exclaimed."
He ignored you and continued to text.
"Who are you talking to, Choso ?, you asked again."
Choso didn't even looked at you, it's like you were not here.
You knew it wasn't good to do that but snatched his phone out of his hand. You eyes widened when you saw he was actually texting Yuki.
"What are you doing ?, he said a little too calm."
Him being calm while you were boiling inside, made you even more angry. You were reading the texts while Choso tried to get his phone back. You were fuming.
"When are you coming ? I am waiting for you ? Did you talk with her ?, you read the messages out loud."
Your hands trembled as you read the messages, the words slicing through your heart like shards of glass. The room seemed to close in around you, the air growing thick.
"I can't believe you, Choso, you choked out. "
He stopped to try to get his phone back and finally looked at you, his eyes avoiding yours.
"It's not what you think, he sighed.
– Not what I think? You're texting her, Choso. While we're in the middle of this conversation. What am I supposed to believe?"
Your words were sharp, your heart breaking with each syllable.
Choso sighed again, running a hand through his hair.
"That's not the point !, he raised his voice. Stop acting like I am cheating ! While you were still hanging out with your stupid lawyer, making me feel like a total looser she was here to comfort me !
– Then why you are here with me ?! Go meet her ! I bet she is ready to comfort you again!, you shouted and threw his phone at the ground.
– Comforting as a friend !, he shouted back. Why are you acting like I'm the biggest asshole in the world ? I would never cheat on you !
– Who talked about cheating ?
– Your face says it all ! I know you are already making up stupid scenarios in your head right now !, he argued.
– We were in the middle of a—
– I don't care ! That's nothing compared to what you were planning to do !, Choso fumed, on edge. I can't do this anymore. Go found your daddy, the same one who wanted us to end our relationship. I don't need you, he tried to provoke and hurt you with his words.
– Don't say that, you frowned.
– What do we have, Y/N?, he asked out of nowhere. Constant misunderstandings, heartbreaks... miscommunication !
– But I don't want to end what we have, you interrupted him with a breaking voice.
– Neither I but it's not normal that I've reached a stage where I want to hurt you just to get your attention."
You widened your eyes, speechless. You didn't know what to say, you just nodded and looked at the ground.
"Are you giving up on us ?, you muttered."
Choso's frustration boiled over, his voice sharp and biting.
"Giving up? You think this is about giving up ?, he laughed bitterly. I've been fighting for us, Y/N. But it seems like every step forward we take, there's something pulling us back. I'm tired of this constant struggle. I can't be with someone who's unsure about us, who keeps running away when things become difficult !"
Tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to find the right words, but they caught in your throat. Choso's words were like a knife, cutting deep into your heart. His anger was justified, true but it hurt nonetheless.
He turned away from you, grabbing his jacket and heading towards the door.
"I need some time to clear my head, he said, his voice strained. I can't talk to you like this."
As he left, the door slammed shut, leaving you alone in the unbearable silence of the apartment. Your chest tightened. The weight of the situation pressed down on you.
Your tears were falling without you noticing them and took a moment to clear your messy thoughts.
Is it how things are going to end ?
Just like that ? Just for a misunderstanding ?
After all those years of waiting to meet him again, you just couldn't let that happen.
The weight of the situation bore down on your chest like a thousand-pound stone, making it difficult to breathe. The room started to spin, and the walls closed in.
All alone in your hotel room, the air felt suffocating, and your heart raced in your chest as if trying to escape the pain.
The room blurred around you, and your breaths came in shallow gasps. Each breath felt like trying to inhale through a straw, leaving you lightheaded and terrified.
In the midst of your panic, you heard the door creak open, but you were too consumed by fear to register the sound properly.
Choso stood there, his eyes widening in shock as he took in your state. Without a word, he rushed in, kneeling beside you. His hands were gentle as he cupped your face, his touch warm and reassuring.
"Y/N, look at me, he said softly, his voice a soothing balm in the chaos of your mind. Focus on my voice. You're safe. I'm here with you."
You tried to obey, your eyes meeting his. His gaze was filled with worry and guilt, as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Slowly, his words began to pierce through the fog of panic.
"That's it, he encouraged, his thumbs wiping away your tears. Inhale with me, okay? We'll breathe together."
His breathing was slow and steady, and you tried to match it, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest. Gradually, your breaths synced with his, the rhythm steadying your heartbeat.
Choso pulled you in for a tight hug, his warmth and his scent wrapped around you and it felt like you were being sheltered by his care.
"I am so sorry..., he said while stroking your hair with all the care of the world. It's just you and me... only you my girl, only you, he whispered softly."
*
DON'T HATE ME PLEASE I NEEDED SOME ANGST AND TOXICITY 💀