Logan Holland
Clifton's POV.
It was after midnight when we snuck back into our room. Xander easily replaced the bars in the frame and fixed the holding discs back into position. A little bit of dust, wetted with his finger, hid any tell tale signs that they could be removed. It was most ingenious and whoever had thought of doing it must have been pretty clever.
I lay down on my bed, pleased that I had mentioned my idea for Half Term as Clayton's piss taking had highlighted some flaws in my plan. He made me realise that taking Xander with me to my parents house for a whole week and telling them he was gay and I was his boyfriend was not very clever. Going for a couple of days would be the better option. It had been left that Xander was going to call his grandparents to see if I could go with him there for a few days beforehand. That way I wouldn't have been forced to stay at my home for any length of time after I had dropped my bombshell.
I was glad that I had settled things with Xander too. Being my special friend who is a boy was the best way to go, even though we were likely to be kissing friends.
I slept well that night.
Over the next couple of weeks I could tell Xander was happy as he smiled more and was less moody. We talked a lot. I mean really a lot. The thing was the more we talked the more I liked him and it was hard not to step over the line we had set ourselves.
Working on our music project, whenever we could, helped. It made us focus our minds on something else rather than each other and it was coming along better than I had ever hoped. Xander had done wonders with the arrangement and we hadn't had to seek out any help from Nessie or anyone else like some of the other guys had.
Guys like Niko in particular.
He was always seeking me out wanting my help or advice. Not just when we were in the Music Wing though, as he would often knock on our door, wanting to show me something he had written that didn't sound right. It was so obvious he was flirting with me. Obvious to me and obvious to anyone else, especially Xander.
I recalled Xander's previous warning that Niko was trying to seduce me.
The thing was I sort of liked Niko to look at. He was cute and very attractive, more so than Xander. He was very nicely proportioned, particularly in his rear end. Still not my ideal type but in the past I probably would have succumbed to his seductive advances and have taken him up on his offer to meet me after lights out. As cute and as sexy as he looked, nothing else about him interested me.
There was not the feeling of desire and interest that I felt towards Xander. There was only the feeling that he was dangerous and I couldn't quite put my finger on why.
Rejecting his advances only seemed to make things worse as he doubled his efforts to seduce me.
I wondered if he had somehow sensed I was gay and was trying to entrap me.
I was so relieved that he was still doing his rugby training with the reserves otherwise I would have had him bugging me whilst I was training too and I had enough to contend with, what with Trevor acting weirdly.
Ever since the cup match he had been more amenable when training or playing a game. Despite the fact Kasper and Fabian had been demoted to the Reserves he was less argumentative and confrontational. Some of his arrogance was tempered too and he played more as a team member than before.
It left me feeling uneasy as off the pitch he was still being a bully to other boys, especially Logan. I felt some sympathy for Logan as he just seemed to accept Trevor's bullying.
The more time I spent training with Logan, Chalky, and Dexter, the more I got to know how each of them thought so that the ball passes we made between us were now being preempted.
Dickie was pleased with the results that our close training was generating and it was looking like we would all now be his first choice of players for those positions for the games coming up.
I had to watch myself with Logan as he still pushed all my buttons. I knew that choosing to be celibate at school could cause me to battle with temptations, especially if someone like him ever asked me to meet them after lights out. Not that I thought he was gay or ever expected him to ask me but I was not sure that I could refuse him if he ever did.
Training closely with him was rewarding enough, as his beautiful blue eyes and his engaging smile were heavenly to see. The danger came in the dressing room and showers afterwards. He had a fit body and was well hung and I just had to be content with ogling and fantasising about what any sex with him would be like.
These dangerous fantasies all stemmed from when the rugby practices and games were increased and began to take up much more of my spare time. It began to impact on the time I got to spend with Xander in our hidey hole and making out with him.
I'm sure that's what was feeding my frustration. I realised that I wasn't that good at abstaining from sexual activity and, although my sex drive was not as acute as my brothers, having experienced the odd assignation to going totally without was proving to be more difficult than I had thought. Even hand relief was proving to be not enough.
In a way I wished I hadn't promised not to sleep with Xander until we were in love with each other as I knew he could easily ease my frustrations far better than either of my hands could do. However I was still determined that if and when it happened it would be because we both were ready and knew what we were doing.
I knew that Xander was struggling not to get too carried away when we did find time to make out. If I saw that he was finding it hard to control his emotions I would apply the brakes until he had calmed down. Knowing that I was already falling for him didn't make it easy for me to do that, but I felt it was down to me to be strong and show some restraint, no matter how randy or frustrated I got.
I didn't want to take Xander's innocence whilst he had his fears. I wanted him to willingly give it up to me, knowing exactly what he was doing and that he wasn't just being used. I wanted his first time to be far more meaningful than mine had been. That was my motivation and it more than helped to keep my frustrations in check.
Not only did I have all that to deal with, I had other coursework to finish after the main classes were over for the day. As my brother had always helped me, academically, during Prep time, I was missing his help and guidance. It had been pointed out to me that my Maths homework scores were now slipping. I knew I would fall even further behind and it began to bug me. I found myself not sleeping very well.
My rugby partners noticed a dip in my concentration and form and, after I had explained that I was worried about my drop in my Maths scores, Logan offered to help coach me.
With Logan being the best Maths student in our class, and against my better judgement, I accepted his offer.
Xander's POV.
I had read, many times, all about the symptoms one would feel when being in love. Hasn't everyone Googled them at some point in their lives?
I thought I had been in love with Ashton but my feelings towards Cliff were far way beyond that.
I knew it was love before even Googling it again.
It was the butterflies in the stomach, the constant desire to want to be near him.
To touch him.
To kiss him.
It's so hard when you first like someone, the feelings get so intense and there's a sense of enthrallment that's so difficult to describe. It's difficult to work out if it's just an infatuation or you're actually falling in love for real.
They say when you're in love, you're genuinely a happier person, it's like you're on a natural high.
They say the one you love is always in the back of your mind. You think of them constantly, even have dreams about them. It's like a craving that won't let up.
They say you become more affectionate towards them, whether it's simply holding hands or turning your cuddling into an intense make out session.
I was doing all of the above yet I was a tiny bit nervous. I was anxious for what the future held, but to be 17, and to be in love, was fricking awesome even though I was a touch apprehensive.
Cliff, having to tell his Dad he was gay and, hopefully, that I was his boyfriend played on my mind. Should I tell my father too? What about my grandparents? What would they think?"
I was also experiencing jealousy.
Bloody Niko Dela Cruz was responsible for that. He couldn't make it any more obvious that he liked Cliff. His flirting at times was so full on it was embarrassing.
Oh! He didn't do it when other boys were around. Oh no! He was sly and caught Cliff when he was on his own. Sometimes he hit on him when he was just with me. It was as if I wasn't there. It was if I was some insignificant sod and what I thought about it all wouldn't matter.
Cliff wouldn't tell me all what this pathetic sleazebag said to him but I knew he had been propositioned. I couldn't say that Niko wasn't attractive and if someone as cute and good looking as him came knocking on my door I'm sure I too would find it hard to resist. I began to worry about Cliff.
I know we had talked about his past dalliances and he said he wasn't that experienced but with him having lied to me about other more serious things my mind kept coming up with different scenarios and I knew I was becoming paranoid about him having sex with Niko behind my back.
I was obsessing so much that I secretly started to watch him training. I was relieved to see that Niko wasn't training anywhere near him but couldn't help but notice who he was spending quite a lot of time training and talking with.
Logan Holland.
With scores out of 10 for cuteness and being drop dead gorgeous, Niko's score would only be 6 or 7 compared to Logan's undeniable 10+.
Logan was a real hottie and dressed in his rugby kit looked even hotter. There had been rumours regarding his sexuality last term but as they had been instigated by Toad and Kasper no one had taken them seriously.
My paranoia escalated and I was in danger of it consuming me when I found out that Cliff was going to Logan's room during Prep time.
I was lucky that Cliff had noticed the change in me and one night in our hidey hole asked me straight out what was wrong.
I automatically denied that anything was wrong but he insisted that he could feel a hesitancy in the way I had been kissing him and he had noticed that I didn't seem as happy as I was before.
I know I should have said something to him but I was scared of the answers to the many questions that I had, but in his arms those fears subsided and, after a lot more prompting, I began to unburden myself.
I know I must have sounded like a jealous, untrusting boyfriend as my pent up frustrations surfaced. I didn't accuse him of anything, I had no evidence that he had done anything wrong to do that, but I just opened up and told him of my fears.
He hugged me and toyed with my hair as I spoke about Niko's persistent flirting and the fears that I had about him being unfaithful.
He never laughed at me or told me I was being silly. He kissed me on the forehead and said he was sorry that his actions and the actions of Niko had caused me such pain.
It was then that Cliff first confided in me of his fear that Niko was dangerous. It was all because Niko shared a bedroom with Sheridan Wylie-Williamson, who just so happened to be a friend of Fabian, that he felt he couldn't be trusted. He thought there was an ulterior motive behind Niko's advances and the only reason he was still being friendly with him was to find out what that motive was.
I had no reason not to buy that and so I hit him with the rumour questioning Logan's sexuality and how his recent visits to Logan's room during Prep time had me thinking the worst.
His answer made me feel both guilty and annoyed.
Guilty that I didn't know about his poor academic qualities or the fall in his Maths scores. Annoyed that he hadn't asked me to coach him.
Cliff had at least admitted that if he had known of Logan's alleged sexual orientation he wouldn't have agreed to let him coach him. He promised me that nothing untoward had happened between them and if Logan had made advances he would have resisted them. He assured me that he would talk to Logan and cancel the extra Maths lessons with him.
It was when Cliff took my head in his hands and told me he was falling in love with me that I realised that my jealousy and over thinking could have spoilt everything we had going between us.
His passionate kiss and caresses quelled my fears and reconfirmed that I was well and truly, madly in love with him.
Little did we both know that, had Cliff succumbed to Niko's seductive advances, what trouble he would have found himself in.
Author's Note ✍🏽
Music Video selected for this chapter:-
BTS Dance Routine mixed to Touch By Touch, the 1985 hit by Austrian Euro disco band, Joy.
https://youtu.be/xnBtJUrt4Rg
M xx ❤️❤️